Joes on Vacation
by willwrite4fics
Summary: Scarlett and Snake Eyes take BeachHead on thanksgiving vacation to her family. How does a guy so Army he's bleeds camo react to civilian life? What's Snake Eyes like on around Scarlett's family? Should be fun!
1. Chapter 1

What happens when you force a pure Army guy to go on vacation into a civilian setting? What if the guy is BeachHead, the most Army you can get in a guy... and the setting is Scarlett's family? How does Snake Eyes like going on vacation to her family? And with his fellow instructor along?

Reviews are appreciated. Although there will be a lot of BeachHead, as one of my favorite, little used characters.. there's going to be a lot of Snake Eyes and Scarlett. I'll be introducing Scarlett's family, and I took a few liberties with the number of sisters, but I think I stayed pretty close to canon overall. They would know she is in the military.. but not the details.

I hope you enjoy!

* * * *

Psyche-Out sighed and gave Hawk a serious look. "This can be a real concern. I've been part of several cases where soldiers that are long term career people just plain forget how to deal with every day life, if they aren't exposed to it on a regular basis. It's just not an issue, until something unexpected happens. What if they are injured and have to be medically discharged? Suddenly they are thrust into a world they can't deal with. Plus, it's not healthy to be only reliant on the average Army life, without ever seeing the outside."

Hawk leaned back in his chair. "You have to realize that normally I would totally agree with you.. but in this particular case.. I really believe it's a case of too late. He would probably make a very good study for you to show what happens when a person does submerge themselves in only Army life for years..."

Although the psychologist's eyes lit up, he suddenly narrowed them. "Nice try.. but I'm not convinced it's too late, and don't try to sidetrack me by offering up studies to write up. I want this man off duty, and off the base, for at least a week. And not off to a training facility.. I saw that trick used about four years ago. He needs a mandatory leave.. into a urban, civilian setting. Send him home to family, or on a civilian cruise, or disneyland for all I care. As long as it's non-military."

Now Duke groaned. "Psyche-Out.. while I do appreciate that you're trying to look out for his best interests... BeachHead doesn't WANT to leave Army life. He eats, drinks, breathes and lives Army. He went in young, and has been in since. He doesn't want to 'experience civilian life' and he certainly doesn't want a mandatory leave forced on him." The doctor began to protest, and Duke leaned in, looking to check that Hawk's office door was still closed. "Look... I'm going to be candid with you, knowing that it won't go any further than this room. Beach is a great soldier. Honestly he is. He'd be a horrible civilian, he doesn't want to be a civilian. And... and I mean it, this goes no further.. but Hawk and I tried to force him on a vacation, only a couple years ago." Hawk suddenly groaned and put his face in his hands. "Yeah.. Hawk remembers. We ordered him off base for 48 hours, told him he would not be admitted back on base until then, and that was that. Do you know what happened?"

Psyche-Out thought about it a few seconds, putting together the personality with the files he'd read up on. "My best guess? He found a bar, got drunk, got into a fight, and was hauled back in cuffs by the MP's. Am I close?"

Duke smiled grimly. "Not even in the ballpark. He argued until Hawk made it a direct order... then he marched out to the front gate, stepped off exactly 10 feet from the outer fenceline, and stood there at attention for 12 hours straight. That's when Hawk finally caved and went out to let him back in. The man does. Not. Want. To leave. He's so Army, if you cut him, he'd wait for orders to bleed, and then he'd bleed olive drab."

Psyche-Out suddenly leaned forward. "What if I told you, I already have a plan.. and I've already talked to one willing conspirator?"

The two officers looked at each other, then at the doctor who sat smugly. "Well... " Hawk hesitated. ".. it can't hurt to hear your idea..."

* * * *

Scarlett smiled widely as she walked to Hawk's office. She had sort of hoped this would be approved.. and now it seemed it had. She glanced over at Snake Eyes, casually striding alongside her, completely unaware of the plan hatched by her and Psyche-Out. She knocked once, and entered the office at Duke's "Come."

"Scarlett and Snake Eyes, reporting as ordered sirs." She and her companion snapped salutes, and relaxed to the 'at ease' stance when told to. "Am I to assume you have approved our discrete plan?" She watched Duke roll his eyes up to the ceiling.

Hawk sighed heavily. "Yes.. despite grave misgivings about the entire deal, I will be entrusting our best drill sergeant to you, for a short holiday. One week, and please... don't break him too thoroughly. We do need him."

She gave the stunned Snake Eyes a grin. "Not to worry Sirs. My family didn't break Snakes here.. they'll be gentle to BeachHead too."

Now Snake Eyes protested. *BeachHead? To thanksgiving? With YOUR family?* His exaggerated signs emphasized that he shared the officers misgivings. He twisted to look at all of them.

Scarlett nodded. "He'll do just fine. He hasn't got anywhere else to go, Snakes.. you wouldn't begrudge him a family meal and some time off.. would you?"

He stood still for a moment. *Your family will eat him alive. He's never wanted to go with you.. with us.. to your family before.* He turned to the psychologist. *This is you.. you are making him do this, aren't you?*

Psyche-Out nodded. "It's for his own good. BeachHead needs time away from the stress here."

The ninja protested. *He likes it here, and he likes the stress.*

Psyche-Out shook his head. "His medical charts show a progressing issue with stress levels. It's fine now, but it's begun a unhealthy upward climb, and if he stays here under constant stress without any time to decompress, he'll end up giving himself serious health issues, like a ulcer, or even a stroke or blood pressure problems. He's a healthy adult male.. under a extremely high amount of stress constantly. Every single day. Even when he's not being sent out on missions, he's stressing out with the training regimen. Or he's winding himself up to a tight coil with the trainees, or the Joes.. it's too much. Given a week to relax, and unwind in a calm, family, urbane setting, and he'll do much better."

Snake Eyes turned accusingly to Scarlett. *Calm? You DID tell them what your family is like.. right?*

She scowled. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Hawk interrupted before anything further could be said. "Well, it's settled. BeachHead is hereby handed over to your care and custody until you make it back from the thanksgiving holiday leave. Hopefully intact."

Snake Eyes glared at the general as well. *You make him sound like a hamster*

Duke grinned. "No.. he bites more than most hamsters.. and he's probably more likely to escape."

*Great.*

* * * *

BeachHead wasn't taking the news well. Snake Eyes winced at the level of volume he was reaching as he yelled at Scarlett and Psyche-Out alike.

"WHEN I WANT TIME OFF, I'LL ASK FOR IT! I DONT NEED ANY VACATIONS, ESPECIALLY NOT WITH SOME HOITY TOITY RICH FAMILY IN OO LA LA ATLANTA!!"

Scarlett's eyes narrowed. "My family is not 'hoity toity' and you don't have a choice. Hawk ordered you to accompany us, off duty. So you're going to go, and you're going to enjoy it."

He drew breath to yell more, and Psyche-Out butted in. "You really should just give in now, unless you want to go yell at General Hawk. Since he wrote the orders, Scarlett hasn't got any more choice than you do."

That silenced him briefly. His eye fell on Snake Eyes seated a few feet away. "You! What exactly did you have to do with this stupid plan?" Snake Eyes pointed at himself and shrugged elaborately. "Oh right.. like I'll believe you weren't in this up to your sneaky ninja eyebrows."

*I had no idea until half an hour ago. I think it's a bad idea.*

"Danged right it's a bad idea! Wait... you don't want me to go?" Snake Eyes shrugged and BeachHead stuttered slightly but went on. "Well... it IS a stupid idea. I got greenshirts to train, and half a course to rebuild, the stupid tank instructors let one of the newbies run a Mauler over the end of my obstacle course. Besides.. I don't WANT to go!"

Psyche-Out shrugged carelessly. "Too bad. You are ordered to go with Scarlett and Snake Eyes on a holiday leave.. not to be less than one week in length, and you are to accompany them to the family celebration.. not go to a different base, not go training in the desert, not to stand guard outside the main gates. Civilian life, holiday celebration, no army, no training, no soldiering, and that's the orders. For the duration of your approved leave, Scarlett can be considered your unit leader, and she's in charge. No arguments."

BeachHead fumed overtly, pacing back and forth. Suddenly he stopped and turned sharply.

"I could.."

The psychologist shook his head. "No."

"But you could.."

"No."

"What if I promise.."

"No."

"Can I.."

"No."

"This is INSANE!" Twisting around, the sergeant stomped away, growling and snarling under his breath.

Snake Eyes turned to the other two. *That went better than I expected*

Scarlett put her hands on her hips. "Shut up you. You can go help him pack."

*Wonderful. If I get shot on vacation, I'm blaming both of you.*

* * * *

End chapter. Yes.. before anyone asks, this will be another long fic! I already have approximately 20,000 words written on it. It should be mostly amusing, but it'll reveal some some deeper things, and yes, you'll get to see some awfully adorable Snake Eyes/Scarlett.

Reviews are adored.. and I'll try to think up some contests of some sort for prize fics as well.


	2. Chapter 2: It's the journey

Thank you for the kind reviews! Please remember this will be more focused on Beachhead, instead of Snake Eyes, but he'll be there just about every step of the way. Snakes is awfully cheeky when he's on vacation too it seems.

Will they get the cranky drill sergeant on vacation without duct taping him to the roof of the car? Will Snake Eyes make it there without Scarlett murdering him? Will Scarlett survive without strangling BOTH of the men she's dragging home for the holiday? And oh my god.. shopping?

Hope you're enjoying it. Wait until you see small kids getting into the mix.

Chapter 2,

"It's the journey, not the destination... espcially when you really don't want to go there in the first place...

* * * *

BeachHead stood at the front gate, gazing back at the buildings. "This is a huge mistake."

Scarlett, dressed in jeans and a nice soft blue shirt that made her eyes sparkle, gave him a sympathetic pat. "It'll be fine. Don't worry, the Pit will be here when we get back. Besides, you'll love Thanksgiving with my family. Tell him Snake Eyes."

The ninja stood to one side, hands stuffed into the pockets of his black fatigue pants. He turned to look at him, still dressed in his commando gear, he would change at one of the first stops. He took his hands out to sign to the drill sergeant. *You're going to die.. and probably kill me when you go.*

Scarlett swung a fist into his shoulder. He gave no notice of that, and added. *Try to take out Scarlett too, I hate to go alone.* She hit him harder, and he ignored that as well, waiting for her to turn away before he winced and rubbed the spot.

She stepped next to BeachHead. "Hey, seriously. It's gonna be great. When's the last time you got leave to just go hang out and have fun?" He stared at her. "What? Come on.. even you had to have taken leave for something fun."

"Does taking a week to take four novices into south america to drag their sorry butts through jungle warfare simulations count?" She shook her head. "Then, no... I haven't."

She seemed taken aback. "Really? Never? Come on." He shook his head. Snake Eyes snapping his fingers made them turn to see a SUV drive up, Clutch in the driver's seat.

The grease monkey got out and waved at the vehicle. "Compliments of the motorpool Scarlett. Try to bring it back without bulletholes." She smiled at him.

"Okay.. load up." Snake Eyes put his two bags in, having sneakily unpacked most of the stuff Scarlett had gotten together for him. Her bags followed and BeachHead tossed his duffel up. Scarlett frowned at the clank. "What's in your bag?"

BeachHead shrugged and she tugged it open. "A M-16? Seriously? No. No weapons." She took it out and handed it to a grinning Clutch. "Take this back and check it in to the armory Clutch."

The ninja looked at him. *Nice try. But her family would still be better armed than you.* With one last look back at the base, BeachHead climbed into the back seat and sighed. Scarlett decided to drive, and smiled over her shoulder at the grumpy sergeant.

"You'll have fun.. cheer up Beach! Oh.. that's another thing.. what shall I introduce you as?" He grunted at her. "My name is Shana, and when I'm off base with family, that's what they call me. What name should I introduce you to people as?"

"BeachHead." She raised an eyebrow. "What? You call me BeachHead, everyone on base calls me BeachHead. What's wrong with it?"

She tossed her loose hair out of her face as she drove down the highway. "That's inappropriate for civilian time. You have a regular name.. so what is it?"

He rode in silence for a few minutes then looked in the mirror at her. "BeachHead is just fine."

She shifted in the seat irritably. "I'm not introducing you by your codename, so tell me your real name."

He leaned forward. "What do you introduce HIM with?" His finger jabbed into Snake Eyes' shoulder.

The ninja's chest shook as he pant laughed. *He's got you there.* She grumbled but let it go for now.

* * * *

Scarlett yawned widely as they pulled into a small motel. While she went into the office, Snake Eyes peered around the parking area from the vehicle. It was mostly deserted. BeachHead paid little attention, instead he leaned forward to talk in a low tone.

"Look.. " He checked that the redhead was still occupied in the office. "Look, I can just take off now. I could hike it back to base in a couple days. Won't be any big deal, and Hawk will see it's not a big thing, I'll be fine back at the Pit. You and Scarlett go off to her family, just as you guys planned.. and everyone's happy. So.. I'll see ya around." He reached for the door handle and heard a *click*. Jiggling the handle showed him it was locked. "Hey... unlock the door back here."

Snake Eyes shook his head. *Vacation. Orders." BeachHead sat back in the seat, puffing out a breath in disgust. *If you take off in the middle of the night, I'll come hunt you down..* The ninja turned and stared at him seriously. *And you will not enjoy how I bring you back.* BeachHead booted the back of his seat.

"This is a stupid idea."

Scarlett came back with the room card keys. "Hey.. I got us the end room. Double beds, sorry Beach, but orders say I can't let you too far out of sight." Moving the SUV down to the end of the building, they all got out, grabbing overnight bags only. "Don't worry, Snake Eyes doesn't snore."

The commando waited until her back was turned before he added. *Scarlett does.*

BeachHead looked back at the road, and then at the deadly ninja waiting patiently for him to enter the room. "Great... just great. I've been kidnapped by the Rich and the Creepiness." Snakes wagged his head side to side in a mocking movement.

*Very funny.*

* * * *

"Good pizza, huh guys?" There not being a restaurant anywhere nearby, they settled on take-out pizza in their room instead. The choices were vending machine food, or pizza, so it had been an easy choice. Snake Eyes sat off to the side, watching the weather on the tv, polishing off the last of several slices of very greasey pizza. Scarlett licked her fingers and got up, shaking an empty soda can at BeachHead. "Something else to drink?" He shrugged. "You know.. it really will be fun, if you give this a chance."

He sighed. "It's just.. I don't want to be here." She turned to toss out the empty can. "I'm not insulting your family.. really. I'm sure they are really great folks." He ignored Snake Eyes' signs on the far side of the room.

*Eat you alive*

He resolutely turned his eyes back on Scarlett. "I'm certain you have a great family, I just really.. I'm not cut out to go interacting with a bunch of civvies. Even nice ones."

She smiled and came to sit cross legged on the bed beside him. "You'll like them. My dad and two of my brothers run a dojo, so they aren't your typical civilians."

Snake Eyes added unseen commentary behind her back. *They'll kick your butt fifty ways to sunday.*

"My sisters are very pretty... they'll love you."

*Claw your eyes out and call you names in the kitchen.*

"Wait until you meet my aunt.. and if Snakes makes one more unneeded comment..." She turned to glare at him, and he tried to look innocent. "You shut up over there, you are not helping, and if you can't say anything nice..."

He held up his hands, then signed to beachHead. *They've never actually shot me, or set my head on fire.* Scarlett pointed at him in warning. *But her dad once threatened to.*

"Oh that's it!" She launched at the commando who rolled off the chair and ran into the bathroom, shutting the door just before she reached it. "You better hide!" Returning to the room, she flumphed into a chair. "At least he can't yell comments through the door." The door flipped open and Snakes snuck his hand out briefly.

*The women are all H.A.R.P.Y.S.* He finger spelled. The door clicked shut again and Scarlett glared.

"Do you want to go shopping WITH AUNT BETH?!?" The door stayed shut. "I didn't think so." She turned back to BeachHead. "Why are you so afraid of going off on a leave?"

He huffed in protest. "I'm not afraid! It's just... " He slid down in a bit of a slump. "I never have anywhere to go." Gazing at his large rough hands, he continued softly. "The only time I went to see family.. it wasn't.. it didn't go well. Then there wasn't anywhere else to go to, and well... really. I'm not someone anyone else ever wanted to invite to meet their family.. you know? Not that I wanted to anyway. I've been perfectly happy staying behind. There's always a skeleton crew at the Pit no matter what.. so I could volunteer to stay, and someone else who wanted to take leave, they got to go. It's worked fine for.. well, forever. I don't know why Hawk got some bug up his butt that I need a vacation suddenly."

The bathroom door opened up, and Snake Eyes signed at him. *Psyche-Out and Doc. They worry about you.* Scarlett turned to see what he said and he motioned to her. *Is it safe for me to come out now?*

She heaved a sigh and moved to the second bed. "Yesssss. Come sit with us." He came out, stopping near the bed and narrowing his eyes suspiciously at her.

*Are you going to kick me in the nuts if I sit next to you?* She pretended to consider it. *I'm sleeping in the tub.. night BeachHead..*

She laughed and reached out to grab his hand, tugging him over to the bed. "Get over here you big goofball." Once he'd settled in, seating himself at the head of the bed, with her between his legs, leaned back against his chest. "Snake Eyes... irritating though he may be.. is right. The medics were worried about your stress levels and so it was their idea. Although I think Lifeline's argument was that prying you off the base would cause more stress.. which is when Psyche-Out came up with the idea that if one of your teammate's invited you, maybe you'd like to have a vacation."

BeachHead settled back against the pile of pillows on his bed. Putting his hands behind his head, he hummed in irritation. "Yeah.. well I don't. Again, it's nothing against your family Scarlett. I just have no desire to go playing house for a week, when I have too much to do already."

Snake Eyes reached around Scarlett to sign at him. *What would you do that can't be done when you get back?*

Now the sergeant major huffed. "Lots! I have to.. uhh... the recruits will be trash when I get back. And... "

Scarlett interrupted. "Kamakura and Jinx and Sergeant Slaughter are all going to be there to ride the trainees hard, so you really don't have to worry. Besides, if they do let them slip a tiny bit, they'll be all primed for you to come back and torture them more."

He sat up on the side of the bed towards her. "You think I just want to torture them? That's what you think I do it for? Just to make a bunch of guys miserable for no reason other than my own sadistic pleasure?" When she gave him a confused look, he sputtered and stopped only when Snake Eyes gestured.

The mute leaned around Scarlett's head. *He's not hard because he hates them, he's hard on them because he doesn't want them to get killed.. or to get one of us killed.* She made an 'o' of understanding, thinking about it.

BeachHead nodded. "Yeah.. you don't know Scarlett. I mean.. you do somewhat, but I don't think you really realize it. If they screw up some class in tech gear, well, maybe it's no big deal. But if we're soft on them for fighting.. or for being in proper shape to run when they need to danged well run... they'll die. And they could get a buncha other guys killed too. If I let 'em slide, and someone can't climb a stupid wall.. he'll get picked off by a Cobra trooper, and then if he ain't already dead.. he'll be nothin' but bait, drawing other guys out to go help him.. and then there's more dead or wounded, or one'a our medics will have to go runnin' out there. I ride them hard because they have to be the best of the best.. the rest get killed out there."

She leaned forward. "I never thought of it like that really. I mean, I ride the trainees hard, because I want GI Joe to have nothing but the best, the cream of the crop. I guess I haven't been doing it long enough to think about the odds of my trainees getting killed if they aren't the best of the best." She colored slightly. "I misjudged you a bit. I did think you just enjoyed torturing the poor recruits."

He grinned now. "Well.. I do enjoy torturing them.. but I don't JUST enjoy torturing them for no good reason. If they're gonna hate me, I might as well get some pleasure out of it." She laughed and felt Snake Eyes' shaking with silent laughter behind her.

Snake Eyes signed in front of her again. *Look, BeachHead laughing. I think he's already enjoying the vacation.*

BeachHead glared at him and leveled a finger to point. "This don't count, we could have had this conversation back on the base, just as easily as this two-bit motel in the middle of nowhere."

*Point taken*

Now the sergeant stretched. "I'm going to hit the bunk... bed.. getting too late for me."

Scarlett looked at the clock, a bit confused. "What? It's not even eight!" He nodded and dropped to the floor to begin doing push-ups. "You're serious?"

"Of course I'm serious. If you get up at four a.m. then you should go to bed at eight p.m. Besides.. early to bed, early to rise..." He continued pumping out push-ups while Scarlett shook her head.

She patted Snake Eyes on the arm to turn her loose and get up. "You're a little bit nuts. I'm gonna get my shower. Hopefully you two didn't use up all the hot water." He grunted at her in reply.

Once she had gone into the bath, Snake Eyes snapped his fingers to get BeachHead's attention. The sergeant looked over without stopping.

*Will it bother you.. that she will share a bed with me? I can sleep on the floor, but she'll get grumpy.*

BeachHead got a grouchy look. "No. I may not approve of your two 'fraternizing' and all, but if the big dogs look the other way, I'm not one to complain. Just don't ... you know.. be.. uhhh..." Snake Eyes watched his face turn red. "Don't be 'doin' nothing. Just because I'm not one to narc you out, don't mean I wanna hear it happenin'." He pumped out a few more push-ups and then looked at the commando. "You better get your butt on the floor too. Jus' because we're on vacation don't mean you need to go all flabby on me." Snake Eyes started to protest, and got a uncivil glare and jumped up to drop onto the floor and begin his own set of push-ups. "Yeah.. ninja my butt, I think you can go faster than that." Shaking his head ruefully, Snake Eyes pumped a little faster. Somehow, even though it wasn't HIS idea, he was the one doing push-ups. Very unfair.

* * * *

End chapter

Hmm... almost to Atlanta... haven't escaped, haven't killed anyone. Good boys!

First question to my readers... who knows BeachHead's real name? I'll write some sort of prize fic if you get it right, you can review or PM the answer!


	3. Chapter 3: Some mornings suck

Wow, seems a lot of folks like this. I'm glad it's entertaining you! A few comments to clarify details...

In my fics, I made Duke a lieutenant. Why break from canon? Well.. most of the Joes are listed as sergeants. This makes for a VERY muddy chain of command, and calling everyone 'sergeant' gets confusing. Since Duke is the "Top" or the Field Commander many times, I decided it was time he got a promotion to Lieutenant. Remember the live movie made him a Captain, and even screwed up which bars he wore, showing the bars of a Major at one point.

Also, for this fic, I gave Scarlett a few more siblings. Yes, I know that there is reference to one older sister(who tried pulling the plug on her!) and a father and brothers. The number of brothers, and possible uncles, is dependent on which comic series you refer to. In this fic, she is one of eight siblings.

The one reviewer did guess it, Snake Eyes IS more chatty, but it is directly due to the casual setting, and his own uncomfortable status trying to be 'on vacation' while bringing along an unknown quantity(BeachHead). Don't expect him to start quoting Shakespeare or Wordsworth, but he will trade quips and snarky comments. After all, even the baddest-ass ninja gets to 'let his hair down' on the very rare occasion.

Since so many folks got BeachHead's real name correct(Wayne Sneeden) I will be writing up a quick prize fic this weekend. I'll try to keep it short enough to send in a PM. If you didn't sign in to answer/review, I can't send you the prize, sorry! Due to POPULAR demand, the prize fic will feature Snake Eyes. Way to go guys!

I'm so happy to see so many people interested in the story, and especially seeing those that KNOW the GI Joe universe well enough to point out flaws! Yay! If you have comments or questions or suggestions, don't hesitate to review or PM.

Chap 3

Snake Eyes really relished sleeping in with Scarlett when he was on vacation. He didn't relish being shaken awake roughly and falling out of bed onto a cold hard floor.

"Snakes! He's gone!" He blinked up at his girlfriend. Since she was dressed in short shorts and a tank top, he felt he should be given some leeway for not paying any attention to what she said at first. His girlfriend was built.

"Snake Eyes!!" He shook himself and climbed to his feet, nodding and grabbing a pair of cargo pants and his tennis shoes. Scarlett always packed up his combat boots and commando gear as soon as he took them off when they got off base on the rare vacations. He was left with whatever footgear and clothing she laid out for him after that. "The truck is still here, he's got to be on foot." He nodded again, and rubbed his eyes before dragging his mask on. Technically BeachHead could have hitched a ride with someone else leaving.. but Scarlett was probably right. The stubborn man would most likely just try hiking all the way back to base.

Outside, he moved a couple hundred yards away, and circled the motel area until he found the single set of bootprints. From the look, Beach had taken off at a jog, headed along a dirt road adjacent to the motel. Snake Eyes sighed, and broke into a run, making sure he was still following footprints, in case the wily sergeant broke off in a different direction.

Half an hour later he spotted a figure far in the distance. Since it was headed towards him now, instead of away, he slowed to a stop and crossed his arms across his bare chest, waiting for the man. When he got closer, he confirmed it was the missing BeachHead, in his typical fatigues and balaclava, trotting along in a slow run. When he reached the commando, he stopped and tilted his head.

"If I thought you'd want to go running in the morning with me, I'd have woken you up."

Snake Eyes glared at him, gesturing around at their empty surroundings. "I didn't want to go running, and I especially didn't want to chase you down first thing in the morning. I told you, you wouldn't like how I'd bring you back if you tried escaping." He took one step towards him, and BeachHead held up his hands.

"Whoa... I wasn't escaping! I went for a run, like every morning!" Snake eyes gave him a suspicious look. "I was out for a run! If I was escaping, why would I run in the opposite direction from the Pit anyway?" The ninja looked around, computing directions and then put a hand over his much abused eyes.

Motioning towards the motel far in the distance, Snake Eyes fell in beside him running. *Sorry. Shana woke me out of a sound sleep to send me after you. I didn't even note what direction you'd picked.*

BeachHead grunted at him. "She's pretty bossy when you guys are on vacation. Why don't you set her straight?"

Snake Eyes sighed. *Would you want to try to win a fight with her? Besides, these leave times make her happy. I don't mind her taking the lead, and I don't really have any other preferences as to what to do. If I want some alone time, I take us to the cabin instead.*

BeachHead snorted loudly at him. "I'd rather go to your deserted cabin than her family's home."

Snake Eyes gave him a sideways look. *You have no idea.* The sergeant felt a little foreboding at that.

* * * *

After Scarlett scolded both of them roundly, they all got cleaned up and dressed for the last leg of the drive. With no real breakfast available, they drove down the highway for a couple hours before they reached a diner to stop at. At this point Snake Eyes was driving, and he pulled in and parked without asking. Scarlett looked doubtful about the place.

"Snake Eyes.. why don't we wait?" She had been arguing that they should wait until they got out to the interstate and could find a real restaurant, while he was getting more grumpy about having to go for a unexpected run, then taking a cold shower, no breakfast, and Scarlett had insisted he needed a sweater.

The ninja got out grumpily, and signed at her. *I'm starving. Call it brunch, but let's eat.* He walked into the front followed closely by both of the others.

"FREEEZE SUCKER!! Get those hands up!" Stopped cold by the sight of a double-barrel shotgun pointed at his head, Snake Eyes raised his hands slightly, standing still. He could easily avoid getting shot, but if he moved, the blast could easily injure one or both of his friends behind him, and from the look of the finger trembling on the trigger, the holder of the gun was twitchy enough to fire without much cause.

"Put it down!" BeachHead stepped slightly to the side, pointing a heavy duty handgun at the man. "You put that down, right danged now, or I'll drill a hole right between your danged eyes!" Snakes rolled his eyes under his visor. He could always count on the volatile sergeant major to escalate a situation.

"I ain't putting nothing down! You ain't about to rob my joint NO how!"

BeachHead scowled at him. "We aint' robbin' no one! We just came in to eat! Now you put that piece down!" The guy looked confused, and Scarlett cleared her throat.

All eyes went to her, standing slightly behind the commando. She probably looked oh-so-harmless, dressed casually in civilian clothing, and was probably holding a throwing knife out of sight ready to embed it in the guy's throat if he breathed wrong. She spoke sweetly however. "Guys, he probably thinks Snake Eyes is a masked robber. He really isn't, sir. He has to wear the mask. We just wanted breakfast, promise." Snake Eyes watched the hands relax and the still suspicious eyes shifted from the masked man to the lovely pert woman and back.

The overweight line cook shifted a little, and possibly the shotgun muzzle lowered just a tad. "Well.. I can't think of no reason for him to come walkin' in here wearing no mask." Snake Eyes sighed softly, and reached up very slowly to peel the mask up enough to show a little bit of the scarring and watched the guy blanch. He lowered it back down, and the shotgun dropped to be held casually in one hand. He noted without looking directly over that BeachHead's pistol was still held steady until the shotgun was placed on the counter.

BeachHead spoke up quietly as he reholstered his weapon. "Sorry.. we're so used to him, I guess we didn't think about how he might scare you coming in without any warning." The guy shook his head and waved down at the booths.

Snake Eyes moved down and sat in the far booth quietly, joined by Beachhead. Scarlett spent another moment at the counter chatting with the owner before she came down and poked the ninja in the ribs. "Move over.. he's okay. Snakes, you gotta remember not to go rushing in places like this. People get nervy."

He slid down in the seat a little and gestured shortly. *I'm sorry.*

She reached for a menu and used it to tap his head. "Don't start sulking. It's too early in the day for sulking." He straightened up and pulled a menu out for himself. She looked hers over. "I'm getting an omelet." Snake Eyes pointed at the eggs and toast combo and she sighed at him. "That's all? You're going to waste away to nothing eating so little."

He shrugged. *I gained a pound last month. Besides, BeachHead isn't going to make me run the obstacle course today, so I should eat less.* She snorted at the same time as their friend.

BeachHead flipped the menu over. "You should eat a big breakfast, best to eat heavy in the morning, light at night. You digest better, and it's better use of the calories." He looked at the back of the menu while the other two shared a look of consternation. "Steak and eggs."

Scarlett smiled at him. "Now see? When could you get steak and eggs in the Pit for breakfast?"

He gave her a confused look. "All the time, if you go in at 5am, they'll make just about whatever I ask for. Long as you're nice to the cooks, they're real accomodatin'." She rolled her eyes and then tilted her head over onto Snake Eye's shoulder. "Will we reach Atlanta tonight?"

She nodded, rubbing her head on the soft sweater Snake Eyes was wearing this morning. "Yes, probably later in the afternoon, depending on the traffic when we get close."

He shifted around. "Will there be a lotta folks there?" She nodded. "Great."

She sat up and became serious. "Look, there's gonna be some ground rules too. First, you're not going to treat them like they're recruits. It doesn't work out there. My family is used to a bunch of army guys, and they aren't stuck up, but if you yell at one of them to straighten up, I'm not gonna stop them from kicking your butt, and if they can't, I can." He frowned at her. "I'll use BeachHead if that's really what you want them calling you, but you'd better act polite. They'll be doing their level best to make you feel welcome. Don't spit in their face, no matter how much you don't want to be here."

He protested. "Scarlett, I ain't never been rude to anyone's family before. Blazes! I'm house-broken!" Snake Eyes poked Scarlett aside to get out, shaking with laughter. He left to use the restroom.

Scarlett leaned in and poked him in the forehead. "And that's another thing. You can take off the headgear too. Civilian. You don't have any need to be wearing it, unless you're outside AND it's really cold. Otherwise, it's ridiculous."

He frowned at her. "I always wear.."

She interrupted him. "You're not on base, or on assignment. Off with it." He sighed at her. "Off. With. It."

He dragged it off and rubbed a hand over his scruffy hair. "I could point out that you let Snakes..." She reached across the table so fast he couldn't dodge. "Ow.. ow.."

Her fingers gripped his ear painfully tight and twisted, pulling him forward over the tabletop. Her voice was low. "If you dare try to say Snake Eyes gets to wear a mask, I will kick you in your nuts so hard your descendants will all be born female." He looked at hard green eyes. "When you have a face so badly scarred that people throw up when they see it the first time, you can talk. Do you understand me?" He nodded. "Good."

She let go, and he sat back, rubbing his ear. "Ow. Sorry." She nodded at him and then looked up as Snake Eyes returned. She got up to let him slide into the booth, and he stopped suddenly, looking from BeachHead to her and back.

Finally he gestured hesitantly. *Did I miss something?*

She gave him a shove. "No. You didn't." He sat down and lifted his hands to ask something more and she continued. "And you're not asking about anything you may have missed either." He sighed but nodded.

Scarlett gave their friend a critical look. Without his normal headgear, his hair was tousled and messy, a good bit longer than she would have guessed. He was looking at the menu again, and reached up to rub his ear again which was fairly red from her twisting it. He had brown eyes to go with brown hair, which on anyone else would give them a placid appearance. But he managed to have a hard severe edge to his expression.

The owner came over eventually to take their orders, bringing mediocre food back to them. They ate quickly, Snake Eyes lifting the lower edge of his mask enough to eat. Once done, he signed that he was going to check the maps, and paid the bill on his way out. Scarlett watched him seat himself in the passenger seat and unfold their mapbook to the right page.

BeachHead looked out briefly. "He doesn't like being in the public much, does he?" She shook her head. "Is it hard, getting him to go to your family's house then?"

She smiled softly, still watching him flipping back and forth through the pages of the map. "Not at all. Most of my family really likes him. He's just kidding when he says all that stuff about them. Dad and my brothers really get a kick out him, and he's pretty relaxed there. Well.. he and Sioban sure don't get along, but.. that's altogether different. She's a real witch to him, and he tries to be polite back at her, but on occasion they've gotten into it. Luckily my family won't automatically blame him, they know how she can be."

Beach nodded, finishing off his plate and draining the last of a cup of coffee. "Yeah, she's the one that tried to pull your plug wasn't she?" She sighed at his candor but nodded. "From the little I remember being told about that, she's a little worse than a 'witch' but it's your sister." He suddenly groaned and put his head in his hands.

Scarlett leaned forward, worried. "What? What's wrong? Breakfast not sitting well?"

He looked up at her through his fingers. "I just realized, if I had of just gone ahead and shot the danged diner owner, I'd have HAD to go back to base to fill out all the incident reports! Dang it!"

She got up and pulled his teeshirt sleeve. "Oh get up! We're leaving." As they exited, she saw the ninja fold up the map and move over to the driver's seat. "Between you and Snakes, I'm going to go postal before I even get to Georgia!"

* * * *

END CHAPTER

They'll arrive in Atlanta next chapter! I'll be trying to keep up writing to post updates quickly. Hope you continue to enjoy.


	4. Chapter 4: Arriving

Chap 4

And... we're back! The PrizeFic was sent out to all the correct answers! I'll have to make the next contest harder! I hope everyone enjoyed the prize, it was spur of the moment writing.

This chapter, they arrive. It's sort of chopped off, because I write a story.. then have to break it into chapters, so sometimes there just isn't a good place for a chapter break, so it's a "to be continued" sort of thing. But no cliffhanger!

As always, thank you for reading, and remember that I'm giving Scarlet more family siblings than mentioned in canon. It's a southern family, so I made it big.

* * * *

They were only on the road an hour before BeachHead had sacked out in the backseat, getting extra sleep whenever you could was the Army way. Scarlett stayed awake for a while to chat at Snake Eyes, although he rarely replied with more than a nod or a brief gesture while he was driving. In the early afternoon, he pulled into a rest area and got out to stretch his legs, while she went into the restrooms. Walking over to the SUV, he suddenly pounded on the door loudly to wake up BeachHead who startled up, banging his head on the window in the process. He opened the door and got out, grumbling.

"Very funny." He yawned widely and stretched. "Where are we?"

Snake Eyes finger spelled *M.I.S.S.*

BeachHead blinked at him. "What did I miss?"

Sighing heavily, the commando finger spelled again. *M.I.S.S.I.S.S.I.P...*

Beach suddenly nodded at him. "Sorry.. I get it, I get it. I just woke up.. sorry."

Snake Eyes gave him a sideways look. *Ripcord got me to finger-spell it out four times before I realized he was jerking me around, last time we were near here.*

BeachHead shook his head. "That guy can really get under your skin, can't he?" He looked around, suddenly uncomfortable. "How... uhh.. how close are we to.. to Alabama?" Snake Eyes held his fingers apart about half an inch. "Oh." He rocked back and forth on his heels a second. "Yeah. Well.. " He suddenly walked off towards the restrooms and Snake Eyes leaned against the car door, waiting for them to come back. Scarlett appeared and handed him a cold apple juice.

*Thank you. Did you sleep well?* She'd begun napping about an hour before.

She put her hands into her hair and ruffled it, then smoothed it down. "Well enough. I don't get how you and BeachHead can just drop off to sleep at a moment's notice. You guys can sleep anywhere, and through nearly anything."

He shrugged at her. *Army.. especially when you do combat zones. You can't ask the enemy to stop shelling for a good eight hours so you can sleep, so you learn to just sleep through stuff.* He looked over towards the building. *Beach is upset.*

She nodded. "Well, he doesn't want to go.."

Atypically, the ninja interrupted her. *No. He's upset because we're near his home I think. Ask him if he wants to make any stops before we hit Georgia.* He walked off himself to make use of the facilities and left her standing there to wait.

She smiled at Beachhead when he came back to the vehicle. "Hey. We'll be hitting your home state soon, anywhere we should stop at for you?" He gave her a pained look and shook his head. "Uhh.. you sure?"

"Yeah. Skip it, okay?" He leaned against the SUV, looking at the pavement. Scarlett hummed and stepped up to peer at him closer. "What?"

Reaching up, she tousled his hair slightly. "Your hair is all messy." He colored slightly and ran his fingers through it a few times, managing to do the impossible and make it worse. She tilted her head and frowned at him. "How do you usually wear it?"

He got nervous and tried to smooth it with a hand again. "Well, usually it's under my balaclava. I was about to get it cut again.. " He turned gratefully as the third member of their group came back. "You need me to drive a while?"

Snake Eyes shook his head. *I'm fine.* He settled behind the wheel again, and Scarlett glanced at BeachHead.

"Hey Beach..." She jerked her chin to the front seat. "You want to take shotgun?" He shrugged. "I'd like to stretch out and try to get a nap."

He stepped up to the front. "Sure.. I can sleep up here as easily as the back seat." As they settled in, Snake Eyes got ready to pull out.

He glanced into the back seat then signed to BeachHead. *Scarlett can't just sleep, she needs to get comfy to sleep.*

BeachHead snorted loudly. "Amateur."

* * * *

They rode a while quietly. BeachHead didn't feel any need for small talk, and Snake Eyes wasn't all that chatty on drives. After a while, the sergeant major twisted around to look into the back seat.

"She's asleep." He watched her a minute. "You know.. I wanted to kind of.. uhh.." He turned around in the seat to face forward again. "I wanted to say, I don't approve of the whole fraternizing.. it's against the regs, but.. I can't say you two have ever done anything to jeopardize the team.. or each other or yourselves. So.. it's not that I disapprove of your relationship.. just the idea of it." He pondered a moment. "That doesn't make a lotta sense, does it now?"

Snake Eyes shook his head. BeachHead thought a few minutes. "Well, I think you're good for each other. Plus.. I dunno no one that's stupid enough to try to force you two apart, so I guess there's no issue."

Snake Eyes grinned under his mask and gave him a thumb's up. The sergeant twisted to look again. "She's really pretty, looking all innocent the way she's sleeping. You're a lucky guy. Now.. if she just wasn't so danged pushy.."

Snakes broke in, signing one handed. *Stop while you're ahead.* BeachHead shut up.

* * * *

Scarlett pointed out the window as they finally left the interstate. "Almost home!" She reached forward to poke Snake Eyes in the shoulder. "You excited?" He nodded at her calmly. "Take the third right.. you remember?" He sighed patiently, and reached to tap the map. "Okay okay.. " She sat back and let him drive, only to reach forward and fingercomb BeachHead's unruly brown hair a few times. He ducked away from her hand.

Looking over his shoulder, he frowned. "What the heck are you doing!?"

She reached forward to smooth at his hair again. "Well, it's sticking up in all directions. You should have combed it."

He patted her hand aside again. "I did comb it. Just leave it."

She gave him a frown. "I'm not sure about you wearing a sidearm either. But my family isn't exactly anti-gun, so it's not as if most of them will have any issues. Just don't leave any weapons lying around." He nodded impatiently and she sat back to dig around in her bag, putting items back into it.

BeachHead leaned forward, peering around the area. There were very nice very large houses, surrounded by very nice land. It was all... very nice. Somehow he found it irritating. It wasn't so much that there was such contrast with his own home growing up.. but well.. there it was. He sighed and tugged at his shirt collar. "You know.. it's not too late guys.. I can get a bus ticket.."

Scarlett reached forward to flick his ear sharply. "Stop it."

Beach rubbed his ear. "Ow. You're a bully. You know that?" She snorted, echoed by Snake Eyes. "Fine.. for the record.. one more time.. this.. is a mistake."

Snake Eyes pointed, and he looked out at a large white house, up on a low hill. Scarlett was all smiles, and he tried to think positive. The SUV crunched up the gravel driveway, and the commando parked and got out casually, stretching. Scarlett bounded out and yelled up at the house. BeachHead got out slowly, looking around warily and moving to the back of the vehicle with Snake Eyes to help pull the baggage out.

"Shana!! Snake Eyes!!" A general uproar of loud voices, talking and shouting, greeting and yelling. BeachHead turned at a touch on his arm.

Snake Eyes signed at him. *Be ready, here they come. Remember not to hit anyone.* He frowned but before he could respond, Snake Eyes stepped away from him and crouched, holding out his arms as a small mob of children arrived and jumped him, all babbling loudly.

"Snake Eyes is here!" "How long will you stay?" There were a million questions and comments, and BeachHead backed up, confused by the sight of the deadly ninja surrounded by adoring kids. They pulled on his arms, climbed on his back, wrapped arms around his neck, and he not only put up with it, but looked as if.. he maybe even enjoyed it a bit. Far from being intimidated by the mask, they acted as if it were the norm, and accepted the mute as he was. The sergeant smiled a little bit.

Snake Eyes finally stood up, signing at the children, even though it was obvious that some didn't understand him. *I have to unload the car. Later.. later.. say hello to BeachHead.* His sign of *B.H.* made near his shoulder to indicate sergeant's stripes was imitated by several kids, amusing BeachHead even more. The ninja turned to him. *Tell them your name.. I can't.*

He jumped, startled then as the kids focused on him. One small boy narrowed his eyes and looked at him. "Can you not talk like Snake Eyes? He can't talk."

BeachHead shook his head. "Uhh.. no.. I can talk. You can.. uhh.. you can call me BeachHead." They tittered a little.

A little girl who looked to be perhaps seven or so crossed her arms. "That's why Snake Eyes called you.." She made the two letter sign. "Cause it's the first letters of your name." She tilted her head. "Should we call you BeachHead.. or Mr Head?"

"BeachHead." He glared over at the ninja, but it was too late.

Snake Eyes immediately began laughing, shaking in silent mirth. By the time Scarlett had reappeared with several adults in tow, he had begun to cough, although BeachHead simply stood with his arms crossed waiting it out. He watched the commando trying to explain what was so funny, but it didn't translate as well through sign language. One of the kids finally told her they only wanted to know what to call the 'big new guy'. She smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"This is my friend BeachHead.. and he's in the Army like Snake Eyes and like me. So you can call him BeachHead.. or Sergeant BeachHead if you want to. Did Snake Eyes show you how he signs his name?" They all nodded at her, with several clumsily repeating the sign. "Great! So.. who's gonna help us carry the bags inside?"

In short order, although it was confusing and unorganized, all the baggage and all three adults and most of the rest of the people, including the pack of children all got inside the house. It was just as nice inside as out. BeachHead watched Scarlett and Snake Eyes be greeted warmly by multiple people, the redhead hugging and kissing most of them... and the silent commando being hugged by several folks. He supposed that since Snake Eyes had gone on leave a lot of times before with Scarlett that at least some of those trips would be to her family home. He'd never actually wondered about it.

"So you must be Shana's friend!" He turned and looked down at a slender redhead that wasn't Scarlett, but most definitely had to be related to her. "I'm Sarah. Younger sister number one. I imagine it's a bit confusing."

He glanced around, searching for his friends in the crowd. "Yeah.. confusing.. I didn't know there'd be so many people here." She smiled at him, shifting a little closer to him. "Umm.. so Sarah.. you know where my billet is?"

She frowned. "Your what?"

He cleared his throat. "Uhh.. do you know where I'll be sleeping? I'd like to set my bag down.. and I should see if Sca..Shana or Snake Eyes needs a hand..."

"Oh them!" Sarah waved a delicate hand dismissively. "They'll have plenty of help. I can show you to your room. You're upstairs, I hope you don't mind but one of the boys will be sleeping in the same room. I'm pretty sure he doesn't snore.. at least not loudly."

He gave a shrug. "I can sleep through a bombing raid if I need to. Lead the way." He plucked his duffel up and followed her up the stairs. The room was pleasant, if a bit too frilly for his spartan tastes. It had two beds, and he dropped his pack next to one. Looking around at the half dozen kids that had followed them in, he thought quickly about what he had in the bag, running through the inventory of items. He didn't think there was anything deadly in the packs, most of his weapons were on him after all. There was some ammo.. but without a gun to fire it, it would be safe enough he supposed.

The girl was standing next to the door, leaning up against it casually. "Soo.. you're another Army guy, right?" He nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets and looking around at the kids, a little lost as to what to do next. "Soo... you have a name to call you by?"

He jerked upright and nodded. "Yeah.. uhh.. sorry. I'm BeachHead..." He stuck his hand out, giving her a quick handshake. "Sorry, I'm not used to.. well.. people. Other than military guys, you know. Dunno how to act around a buncha civvies."

She raised her eyebrows and gave a little polite smile. "Oh... well that's okay. We got used to Shana's ninja. I'm sure you'll be much easier." She turned to leave, beckoning him to follow which he did. He shooed the kids out of the room, although he saw a couple eyeballing his duffel in a interested fashion.

"You kiddos stay outa my stuff. Got it?" They all looked guilty but assured him they wouldn't mess with his things, and then most of them scattered downstairs.

* * * *

End chapter

Awkward break, I know... but it was either break or the next actual break was after 4500 words.. too long. I hope you're enjoying, and thanks for all the great reviews!


	5. Chapter 5: Meet the O'Hara's

Chap 5

And here we go, meeting the family. Remember that I gave Scarlett more siblings that is admitted in canon. BeachHead will be paired with CoverGirl, if only implied.

Thank you for the awesome reviews! I promise I'll think up a new contest!

* * * *

Sarah took him to a group of adults, and introduced him.

She leaned in close to him and motioned to the other people. "This is one of Shana's army guys. He says we can call him BeachHead. Funny name, huh?" There was a polite murmur and the sergeant nodded at them, noting that several of the guys looked vaguely like Scarlett and Sarah and surmising they were some of the brothers she'd mentioned.

One of the well-built younger men reached out to shake his hand. "Hey, don't let Sarah's snotty attitude put you off. We're all pretty easy-going, and we don't care what name you need to be called by. BeachHead is just fine. I'm Scott, Shana's brother. This is Sean, Seth, over here is Sallah, our baby sister, and last of the brothers.. Jack."

BeachHead blinked suddenly. "Shana, Sarah, Scott, Sean, Seth, Sallah... and Jack?" The group all smiled widely.

Jack gave him a sheepish grin. "It's Sajack.. but no one calls me that. I'm just Jack. Yeah, I'm told I skew the grade curve majorly here. I'm also the lawyer in training, so that when one of these lugs breaks someone's arm, I can bail them out." He was elbowed by his larger brother Sean.

"Will you bail me out when I break your arm?" Jack shoved him back, grinning and within seconds, there was a wrestling match going on between the two. BeachHead stepped back out of the way, resisting the urge to grab both of them by the neck and shake them out of the immature behavior.

"You boys take it outside!" The voice filled with authority made BeachHead turn and come almost to attention before he stopped himself. Then he looked down at the older man in a wheelchair. "We have a guest, and I'll not have you making this family look like a bunch of hooligans!" The boys scrambled to their feet, looking sheepish. "We have a dojo for you to work out your issues, now apologize to each other, and to our guest."

"Sorry, bro." "Sorry, Jack." "Sorry BeachHead." "Apologies BeachHead." He blinked and nodded back at them, murmuring something in reply.

Turning to the new person in their midst, the older man reached to shake his hand firmly. "I'm Shana's father, call me Paddy."

Giving a nod to him, the ranger felt put on the spot. "Ahh.. nice to meet you. BeachHead.. ahh... it's.. "

Paddy smiled. "Codename.. I assume?" At the nod, he continued. "That's fine." He rolled through the living room, motioning to the end of a comfortable looking couch. "Sit yourself down and relax. Everyone has to jump all over Shana and that crazy boyfriend of hers for a while. They'll settle down shortly, and remember they brought you along. Then you'll be in for it. Better catch your breath while you can." Sallah bounced in and smiled at them. She was a pert little thing, with brassy red hair neatly twirled up on top of her head. BeachHead wondered if Scarlett looked like her when she was in her early-teens.

She looked at them both. "What can I get you to drink?" BeachHead looked at her and then to Paddy.

The old man smiled. "Coffee?" Much relieved, the sergeant nodded. "Some coffee would be great, Sallah."

She nodded and turned to him. "Cream, sugar? Or we have honey?"

He shook his head. "No.. no ma'am.. black is fine. Thank you." She tittered a little at him and bounced back out. "She's.. nice." He looked at Paddy. "Oh you know.. not.. nice nice.." He shifted uneasily. "I mean.. I'm sure she's nice, but.. in that.. uhh.. "

Finally the man grinned at him. "So I don't have to worry about YOU putting any moves on my fifteen-year-old daughter then?"

He knew he turned beet red. "No sir." He'd never wished for his mask more. "I'm sorry. I'm not really an idiot."

Now Paddy laughed. "I'm sure you aren't. Shana doesn't have many friends that are idiots. And if Snake Eyes approved of you enough to agree to let you come along, you must be good people." Aware he was making the ranger even more uncomfortable, he grinned at him. "You just had no idea what you were in for when you agreed to come out for thanksgiving, did you?"

BeachHead let out a breath. "I didn't agree to anything, I was ordered." He clicked his mouth shut suddenly. "I don't mean.. umm.. I don't mean that to sound like I didn't want to come.. I'm sure you are great people to be around."

Paddy raised an eyebrow. "But we're not great people for you to be around?"

Shifting uneasily, BeachHead bit his lip. "No.. not like that. I just.. I didn't want to go on vacation.. not anywhere. But well.. they sort of ordered me to go take time off, stupid thing about stress and needing time to unwind.. buncha garbage. I'm sure that out of anything they could have picked for me to do.. this is the best thing.. but.." He sighed. "I'm really just an Army sergeant.. I like being a soldier, and I don't like civilian.. stuff. And obviously as you can tell, I sure don't know how to talk with civilians. I always put my foot in my big mouth and look stupid."

Paddy suddenly laughed at him. "I think you're doing fine." Sallah came in with a tray and set it down. She handed him a bright red mug with snowflakes on it, and then a deep blue '#1 Dad' mug to her father. Grabbing up a cartoon mug with whipped cream floating on top, she seated herself very close to BeachHead on the couch.

She sipped at the mug and then looked up at him out of mischievous green eyes. "Is your coffee okay?"

He nodded. "It's great.. thank you..."

She looked at the mug and raised an eyebrow at him. "You haven't tasted it."

He slurped at it hurriedly and it promptly burned his lip. "Ow.. yeah.. good.. it's good.." He tried to suck on his burned lip without being too obvious, while both of them tried not to snicker at him. A little perturbed, he nodded at her mug. "Aren't you young for coffee?"

She lifted the mug. "Mine is hot cocoa." She scooted closer to him and he scooted further down the couch. "Would you like a taste?" He scooted further, unaware of his terrified expression.

"No!" He cleared his throat and looked over at Paddy nervously. "I mean.. no thank you.. I'm fine with my coffee." He shifted uneasily and sipped at it to try to cover the fact that he was out of his depth here.

Once again the patriarch rescued him. "So.. BeachHead.. how did you get your name?"

He cleared his throat. "I uhh.. got a reputation for being the first man on the field.. you know.. I'd get in and hold an area for the rest of the unit to come on after. So.. you know.. that's the 'beachhead' from when troops land on a shore.. so one time, my commander was trying to figure out where the troops were going to hit the enemy territory. And my lieutenant pointed at me and said 'Hey.. he's the beachhead.. so where ever you guys see his sorry butt, you go there..' And like most Army nicknames, it sort of stuck."

Sallah sipped her mug and looked at him guilelessly. "I think it sounds very brave. What do you do in the Army?"

He gave her a wary look. "I'm a drill sergeant.. and I do other stuff."

She nodded. "So what do you do as a drill sergeant?"

He suddenly grinned. "I yell at a lot of people all day, and make them do things they really don't want to do, like run, or do obstacle courses, or push-ups. Stuff like that."

She blinked at him. "But that sounds.. mean!"

He nodded at her. "I've been called mean. Usually I make the newer recruits cry at least once, and a lot of them quit rather than put up with me. It's how I make sure the ones that stay are tough." He saw Paddy hiding a smile behind his mug. "I'm even mean to Scarl.. Shana and Snake Eyes. But then, they beat me up a lot too, so I think that makes us even."

She looked a bit horrified. "But.. but.. how could you be mean to Shana? She's your friend!"

"I have to be mean, otherwise she wouldn't work as hard to be the best. She's pretty mean when she's training folks too. Sometimes you have to be hard to get people to respect you enough for them to do what you tell them." He decided he'd pressed the point home enough that she wouldn't be sweet on him anymore. "Soo.. what do you do?"

Paddy nodded towards the back of the house. "We run a family dojo. The boys and I, that is. Shana used to help instruct, before she joined the Army. Sean and Scott are the main teachers now, and Seth helps out some. Young Jack, he's in college. He hasn't got nearly as much interest in the dojo as the rest. Family business though, so he does his part." He motioned to his legs in he wheelchair. "I used to be the master of the dojo, before this. Now, I just instruct from the sidelines.. and do a lot of paperwork."

Beach nodded. "Yeah.. paperwork is what the world runs on now. Every time I advance in rank, I think maybe I won't have to do it anymore, but it's always more paperwork than before."

A pack of kids came rushing in, and BeachHead held the coffee mug up out of the way. A couple went to badger Paddy about something, and the rest came surging up to surround him. One of the boys looked at him. "Hey! Are you a ninja like Snake Eyes?"

He shook his head. "No."

"So can you do backflips like him?"

"No."

"Is that a real gun?"

"Yes."

"Can I shoot it?"

"No."

"Do you get to shoot guns?"

"Yes."

"Big guns?"

"Yes."

"REALLY big guns?"

"Yes."

"Wow! Cool!" Suddenly the pack lost interest and ran back out. He watched them leave at high speed and then furrowed his brow, looking at Paddy.

"Do they do that a lot?"

Paddy laughed softly. "No.. usually they have way more questions than that before they give up." He chuckled again as the peeved expression. "I take it that your Army duties don't put you in contact with many children."

"No.. I prefer children not be involved in my usual type of.. duties."

Paddy nodded knowingly. "What fighting style do you use?"

BeachHead took a deep breath. "Well, standard hand-to-hand is I guess mostly karate based, but I've picked up a lot of bits and pieces of different disciplines. I sort of mashed it all up with my natural inclination to just plain out-and-out brawl, and it's a ugly mix. It keeps me alive."

Sallah tossed her head. "I'm almost a black belt." He lifted an eyebrow. "Girls can be blackbelts!"

He snorted. "I work with your sister Shana, I know exactly how effective girls can be as fighters. Any time it might slip my mind, she kicks me in the head a few times to remind me." Paddy laughed at that.

Sallah narrowed her eyes at him, plotting, he was certain of it. "I bet I could take you."

He shifted just a tad further away from her. "Uhh... yeah. I bet you could too. Let's not find out."

She turned to face him squarely. "You don't think I could."

Unable to stop his traitorous mouth in time, he answered honestly. "No.. I don't."

She glared. "I could too! I'm the best in my age group. I'm better than the older group even."

He sighed at her, glancing at Paddy. "Yes, I'm certain you're very good. You're also about as big as my left leg. If you did manage to knock me down, I'd probably fall on you and squash you like a small bug."

He watched her furious face. She jumped up and flounced out. He watched her go and turned to Paddy. "Do you think she hates me enough to leave me alone now?"

Paddy suddenly laughed loudly at him. "Oh.. I doubt it. I think you've just become her personal challenge now."

"Great."

* * * *

End chapter

Well.. there ya go. He's met MOST of the family.. and yes.. he'll meet the bitc... I mean Sioban soon too. And yes, I made up the reason he's called BeachHead, because there is no canon explanation, and this one made prefect sense, considering his proclivity for rushing into battle first. Most family stuff coming up.


	6. Chapter 6: Sergeant vs Brother

Chapter 6

You know what hasn't happened? The sniffing and strutting to find out who's alpha dog.. let's get that part over with. After all, Scarlett has a bunch of brothers.. and they already know Snake Eyes would turn them into mincemeat and put them in baby food jars. But this new guy doesn't seem as badass as a ninja.. right?

Same living room scene as the end of last chapter.

* * * *

Scarlett came breezing into the room, stooping to hug her father fondly. "Beach! I wondered where you disappeared to! Come on.. we'll show you the dojo.. did you meet everyone? Da, do you want to come out too?"

Paddy shook his head. "No.. I'm staying up here, you take your friend to show everything too. Don't let Sallah jump on him, okay? Make sure she knows not to try ambushing him, I know how that goes with Army combat veterans. Bad enough when it's Snake Eyes and some of the boys, he's at least used to students trying to jump on him out of the shadows."

Scarlett hit him in the arm lightly. "Oh.. I'm sure BeachHead can handle little Sallah."

The ranger shook his head. "That's the problem, I don't WANT to handle her, thanks."

She led him outside, and into a backyard. The pack of kids came carooming wildly around the side of the house, and he stopped and stood still as they swarmed past him and Scarlett. "Geez! Good lord.. do they do that the whole time?" She laughed at him. "No.. don't kids take naps or something?" She turned to answer him, smiling widely and then waved her hand in warning. He whirled and was hit and knocked down hard.

"Buster!! Get off him!" There was a lot of smelly fur and wet spit and he shoved frantically. He scrambled upright, and fended off the huge german shepard. Scarlett grabbed at the leather collar. "Buster!! Shame on you! Don't jump on people!" She dragged the enthusiastic dog away. "Sorry BeachHead, he's just a great huge puppy and thinks it's his job to welcome everyone."

Wiping drool off his shirt, BeachHead made a face and began brushing dirt and bits of grass off himself. "Yeah.. right. Like the rest of your family, he wants to drool on me and maul me." She looked like she thought about being offended but shook her head.

Sighing, she shoved the dog away, and he ran away after the kids. "Sorry, just tell him 'no' if he runs at you." He nodded and walked with her through a back gate, finding a very professional looking dojo with it's own driveway and parking lot.

He gazed around it, having expected a little garage, he was taken aback by the size and scale of the place. "Wow.. I didn't think it'd be this big.."

She grinned, all smiles already again. "It's been very successful. We expanded a few times, and then just built this place finally. Our students are among the top in the country. The more top students, the more students want to come here, so.. " She pushed open the door and walked in. "The front rooms are mainly general class areas. We do some self-defense classes, basics, hand-to-hand instruction for security training." He looked around, impressed by the facility and the set up. "The actual dojo is the backside of the building, and although we can go through to it from here, the students use a rear entrance instead. We try to keep it separate, since the general instruction is pretty different from tournament training. It works out well."

He nodded at her comments. "This is real nice. I didn't expect to be impressed, honestly. I figured it'd be a little family thing, like a converted garage and a handful of kids. This is really a sweet set-up." He rocked back and forth on his heels a little, taking it in and wondering it he could get a few things approved for the Joe training area.

He jumped when Scarlett jabbed him in the ribs. She was grinning and pointed at his face. "Now who's drooling?" She waved him along behind her and he followed to the back. When she walked into the spacious dojo he stopped at the doorway. "What? You don't like it?"

He motioned at the floor. "Can I come in with my boots on?" She shrugged. "Well, I know basic courtesy.."

She waved casually. "We aren't that formal. As long as you wiped your feet good, and aren't tracking dirt in, it's fine. Stay off the mats though. Your combat boots might mess up the surface, and Dad just replaced the mats back here."

He nodded and kicked one boot against his leg to check it for dirt. "Okay.." He wandered in, looking the place over. If the front had been nice, the actual dojo was state of the art, well appointed and neatly set up and clean. "This is nice." Her brothers came barging in through the main entrance, and he tucked his hands into his pockets, noting that they kicked off their sneakers and loafers at the doorway.

Sean.. or was it Scott... spotted him and grinned hugely. "Hey BeachHead.. so sister is showing off the dojo? Did she show you all her trophies yet? She always wants to show off the trophies!" Scarlett punched him in the arm and he winced away. Snake Eyes entered behind them and looked around.

He turned to Sean.. pretty sure that one was Sean.. wasn't he taller? *New mats?*

The young man nodded. "Yeah! Da replaced them a few weeks ago. We're sponsoring a tournament early next month, so he wanted them in and broken in good before then. Check it out.." He lifted one corner a little bit, and Snake Eyes crouched to finger the material. "This is the newest and the best. It's a closed cell foam.. really absorbent but firm. No squishy surface to trip you up, but it won't let you crack your head open when you get tossed either." He gave a sly sidelong glance at BeachHead. "I bet you wish the Army sprang for this sort of matting."

The drill sergeant shrugged. "It's real nice, but wouldn't work for us. The surface wouldn't last a week with all the combat boots, belt buckles and utility harnesses scraping on it." Sean looked a little surprised.

Scott snorted. "Yeah Sean.. not everyone does the fancy tournament fighting. The Army doesn't care about style, they just want guys that can knock your teeth out of your head. A bunch of grunts don't need to know how to really fight."

BeachHead bristled at the disparaging words. "Hey.. we 'grunts' do pretty danged well, and it's a good thing, since if the country had to rely on a bunch of pretty boy tourney fighters to defend 'em, we'd all be doomed." His fierceness took the young man aback.

He looked to his brothers for support but shrugged. "Sorry.. didn't mean to offend you. Not your fault that the army doesn't care to really train you guys." Scarlett sighed, and Snake Eyes put a hand over his face.

BeachHead actually felt his shoulders bunch up. "Doesn't train? I'll bet you I'm in better shape and can do more in one morning than you'd do all danged day! I depend on being in perfect shape to stay alive and keep my teammates alive.. not just to make some muscles to flex on display."

Scott stepped up, his back stiff as he challenged him. "Oh yeah? How about you put your money where your mouth is? I bet you I can do more push-ups than you can, old man! I'll show you 'good shape'! I train for an hour a day!"

BeachHead sneered at him. "OH.. a whoooole hour? Well ain't that prissy of you?"

Snake Eyes waved slightly. *I have a hundred dollars on BeachHead.* Scarlett smacked his arm and he lifted his hands saying 'what?'.

Sean, as the older brother, tried to soothe everything. "Now.. Scott, be realistic. You're a lot younger, and you've been training since you were ten. Don't try to show BeachHead up. We know once they get past Basic, army recruits get to slack off."

Scarlett folded her arms. "Oh.. you're on. I'll add a hundred to Snakes. And.. I'll up the ante. Scott beats our guy on sheer number of push-ups, and we'll do the dish-washing on thursday. BeachHead trounces your cocky butt, like he's gonna do, and you three do all the dish-washing."

Sean grinned and patted his fit young brother on the back. "You're on."

Scott flexed his arms around dramatically. "You know.. this is nothing personal.. you can back out anytime.. I don't want to be rude to a guest." He twisted his arms and popped his neck.

BeachHead cracked his knuckles loudly and dropped to the floor easily. "Put up or shut up." He waited for Scott to drop into position next to him and began to pump out easy push-ups, letting Scott pace him. He counted out carefully, and paused in his counting. "I can't hear you, are you letting me do all the counting?" Scott puffed out a breath and began to count as well.

After forty, BeachHead felt warmed up and looked over at his opponent. Scott had a determined look on his face. Sean was saying encouraging things to his brother about him being younger.. family pride.. things like that. In contrast, Snake Eyes had crouched off to the side, relaxed and casual. Scarlett stood next to him with her arms crossed.

At a hundred without stopping, Scott was beginning to sweat. BeachHead looked at him and stopped counting for a few seconds. "Scarlett, gimme a cloth, getting sweaty here." She grabbed a hand towel from a stack off the shelves and handed it down to him. He shifted to one-armed push-ups briefly to wipe his face, and offered the rag to Scott who glared at him. The ranger continued his push-ups at the same speed, one-armed. "Sweat is gonna make your eyes sting..." He tilted his head. "No? Okay." He handed it up and went back to two arms. Showy? Yes, probably, and not good form and not very polite, but then.. they called him old, and disparaged the Army.

Passing a hundred and fifty, and BeachHead's arms were beginning to finally feel a little bit tired. Scott was red-faced and straining visibly. "Gonna give it up?" The close-cropped red hair was soaked with sweat, and dripping. He shook his head. "You sure? I don't wash dishes.. just lettin' ya know." He grinned evilly, this felt much better than trying to deal with children and civvies and people. "Want to up the ante again? How about I handicap myself? Huh? You up for a little ante-upping? Come on.. you're looking tired."

Scott gasped slightly. "What.. handicap?"

BeachHead grinned at him. "How about your sister sits on my back, while I'm doing push-ups here, and if I still beat you, with her on my back, you guys wear the frilliest aprons we can dig up while doing all the dishes?"

Scott looked over at him, still pumping himself up and down, his younger less bulky muscles beginning to show signs of trembling as they passed two hundred push ups. "You're on.. but.. it's.. gotta.. be.. Shana..."

BeachHead grinned. "Scarlett.. I need some weight.. " She sighed and stepped over, straddling him while he continued to do the exercise. She hovered a second, and timing it just so, lowered her butt to his back, bringing her legs up smoothly to sit cross legged right between his shoulder blades. She balanced easily, seated facing her brother slightly. Beach grunted. "Awww.. geez.. how many pounds you put on since the last time we did this?" She glared. "Snakes.. you gotta be putting your girlfriend on a diet."

Snake Eyes quickly signed to her. *Don't blame me, I didn't say anything. You're beautiful.*

She leaned forward and made him grunt as the weight shifted to his shoulders. "You really wanna make smart comments?"

He shook his head. "No.. nope. You're good." Scott was looking over in disbelief as the man continued to pump himself and his added burden without slowing. "Doing okay there Scotty boy? Not getting tired yet? You're looking shaky."

Sean leaned down and talked to his brother. "Dude.. you can't let him win. This is YOUR dojo. Your home! Don't let us down.. look, he's sweating now."

Scott gasped. "Shut up, and go find someone else to stand on his damned back. I'm dying here." He was struggling to keep up now.

BeachHead tilted his head. "Need to go slower?" He slowed the pace. "I'll go as slow as you need to." He watched the red face as he puffed for breath, groaning with each push up now. "Come on.. you can do it.. you're young remember? Come on.. do one more.. one more.."

Suddenly Scott flopped to the floor limply. "Shut up... I'm done. You win. I'm gonna lie here and die now."

BeachHead continued the exercise and tilted his head up at Sean. "You wanna take take over? I'm sure we can think up something else to add to the bet." He showed nearly no sign of strain, despite the woman sitting on his back. True, he was hiding it, but he wasn't near done in yet.

Sean shook his head. "No.. no thanks.. you win."

BeachHead stopped, holding himself up. "Get off, Scarlett." She unfolded her legs and dismounted smoothly. He groaned and went to his knees, rolling back on his feet to crouch a second. Standing upright, he stretched. "You seriously need to drop a few pounds. I know you've been training with the weights, but when you put on more muscle, you really should warn a guy."

She smirked. "You're calling me fat, and saying I should warn you?"

He held up his hands. "Not fat, not fat, just heavier. And muscle weighs more than fat anyway. Don't kick me in the head or nothin'." She laughed and he turned to the chagrined brothers. "So.. we're not doing any dishes on thursday. Got any other exercises you wanna challenge me to?" All three boys shook their heads. "You wanna apologize for saying the Army sucks?"

Scott rolled his eyes. "I didn't say it sucked.. but fine. I'm sorry I dissed the army. I didn't realize you were some super soldier mutant trooper."

BeachHead snorted. "I'm not. I'm just a regular old drill sergeant." He grinned. "Of course.. I started out a Airborne Ranger.. and I train the best. If you boys ever want to get into real shape, you just drop me a line."

Scarlett tecched at him. "No recruiting my brothers."

Seth laughed at that. "No chance Shana!! If we'd have to do that sort of exercising, I don't think any of us want into the Army!"

BeachHead smiled. "You jus' don't know what yer missin'."

* * * *

END Chapter

For those that think it's a little unbelievable, I actually based the push-up contest on one that I watched happen. The betting was different.. the setting was different, but the actual number of push-ups was about the same, and the girl sitting on the guy's back was the same. It was as juvenile as depicted in the story too!

More family coming up.. having fun reading? The reviews have been great.. and.. another contest!!!

Keeping in the theme of it being a BeachHead based fic... here's a question related to his would-be girlfriend's favorite vehicle!

How many missiles does a Wolverine tank carry?


	7. Chapter 7: Dinner and Kids

Chap 7

Wow, I didn't know there were so many GI Joe fanatics! At least 10 people correctly guessed the answer to the question! (12 missiles in a Wolverine tank) As the Prize, I've posted the 2nd chapter to the "A New First Date", as everyone who correctly answered chose that instead of a privately sent shorter fic! So Thank You to all of the correct guessers!

slapshot22, Frankizzle, AtlantisGirl12, SPOOKYRCON, CrystalOfEllinon, Comix28, aloneforvalentines, Psyk2, Football girl 11 AND general zargon

For anyone who guesses correctly after I post this, Sorry!! I still appreciate you LOADS too! In addition, thanks for all the great reviews on this fic, and there's more to come.

As always, thanks for reading! And on to the fic!

* * * *

They were inside, sitting in the living room with Paddy and the boys. BeachHead got the end of the couch, with Scarlett beside him. Snake Eyes had seated himself at her feet, leaning against her legs. The mute was wearing his cloth mask, but casual clothing.

Paddy and his sons were seated around the room. Jack had built them a fire and stayed seated next to it, poking it occasionally idly.

Scarlett reached over to mess with his hair and BeachHead ducked away. She leaned to tousle at it again. "I really need to introduce you to a comb."

Pushing her hand away, he snorted. "I told you already, I combed it." She laughed and managed one last scruff at it. "Leave off!"

Snake Eyes looked over his shoulder and tapped his knee to get his attention. *Stop flirting with my girlfriend. And combing your hair in the morning once doesn't count all day.*

BeachHead pushed him a little with his foot. "Your girlfriend is flirting with me.. and you don't get a vote in my hair combing habits." He stopped before making a joke about him wearing a mask. Normally he would.. at the Pit.. but here with Scarlett's family, he was less sure of the reception of a jest.

Sean stretched his arms out. "Dinner should be soon. I put the roast in a long time ago, I guess I should go check it." He got up and wandered out.

Seth looked over at the stranger. "I guess you'd think it was weird.. Sean doing the cooking instead of one of the girls."

Grinning widely, BeachHead shook his head. "You've never met our teammate. He's a grand chef.. and one of the biggest baddest guys I've ever met. If Sean wants to cook, it's way better than me trying to cook something for us."

Snake Eyes nodded firmly. *He burns M.R.E.s* He was booted again by the sergeant. *I once saw him burn crackers and cheese.* Another kick.

Scarlett poked BeachHead in the side. "Now stop kicking him. That's my job." She lifted one leg over and hooked it across Snake Eye's chest to pull him in and pin him in place. "Tomorrow Aunt Beth will get here. She's the real cook."

Paddy lifted his book he'd been perusing. "Beth is a brilliant cook, and just a dear dear person. She'll love having a new boy to fuss over."

BeachHead looked at him. "You have a new boy?" Snake Eyes put his head in his hands. "What?"

Scarlett smiled, reaching down to stroke the ninja's shoulder. "Beach.. Dad means you. Aunt Beth loves to mother everyone.. and especially thinks the world of 'young army boys, away from home and needing a touch of home'." BeachHead rolled his eyes. "Oh you'll love her. She's the sweetest ever."

"Will she convince your sister not to try to beat me up?" Scarlett laughed at him. "I didn't think so."

Sean reappeared. "Dinner.. I'm getting the asparagus steamed right now, so you have five minutes." He pointed at Seth. "You forgot napkins on the table, bro." The younger brother sighed and went to rectify his mistake. "Jack.. go get the girls.."

Everyone stood and Paddy wheeled the few feet to Scarlett and Snake Eyes. "Will you eat with us tonight? It's just the family.." Snake Eyes hesitated and looked at the slender woman.

"Your choice.." Despite the words, she reached to take his hand. BeachHead watched as he shifted around, perhaps uncomfortable, or indecisive. Not the norm for the confident ninja. "It'll just be us."

Right then the two girls came clattering down the stairs and into the living room. Sallah rushed up to hug the commando around his waist, then bounced into the kitchen. Sarah put herself under his arm next.

She smiled up at him. "Coming to dinner? All the cousins are gone.." The young woman twisted from under his arm and tugged at his hand. "Come on.."

Letting out a sigh, Snake Eyes nodded and followed the two sisters into the dining room. BeachHead waited and followed behind the older man in his wheelchair. By the time dinner was set out, the commando was settled in next to Scarlett down at one end of the table. Seth chose to sit across from him, and BeachHead managed to snag a chair next to Seth. He glanced up at the nearly bare-faced man. Scarlett had coaxed him to leave off the mask, and nearly convinced him. But by the time they were seated, he'd pulled a bandana to tie across his lower face. His slightly longer blond hair fell across his forehead, hiding more of the scars.

The drill sergeant decided to make an attempt himself. "Snakes, no one minds, you can leave it off. Besides, how can you eat with that?"

The commando glanced at him, and reached to tug the upper edge slightly higher over the worst scarring on his cheek. *Practice doing it for years* He refused to acknowledge any further comments about it.

The roast was as excellent as any of the food from Roadblock, and BeachHead did enjoy it. The table conversation centered on the upcoming tournament mainly. He learned that most of the kids that had been rushing around were from cousins that had gone out to eat, gone to nearby hotels, or just 'out', which explained the nearly empty house.

Scarlett mentioned going shopping, and Sallah piped up wanting to go too. She shook her head. "Sorry sis.. I have to take the two guys here out for clothes. I'm pretty sure it'll be boring."

Sallah pleaded, giving sideways glances at Beachhead who did his best to ignore it. "But sis.. I need to get a new top. And I haven't gotten to spend ANY time with you in forever." Snake Eyes raised only his eyes to look at BeachHead across the table. He finger-spelled at the edge of the table quickly so only the sergeant could see.

BeachHead looked back at him, and got a raised eyebrow in reply. So he cleared his throat. "I uhh.. I think she should come along." He knew he'd been had when he saw the ninja's eyes crinkle in a smile. "I mean.. "

Sallah beamed happily. "See? BeachHead says yes.. so that's one.. Snake Eyes won't mind if I come along, right Snake Eyes?" She gave the ninja her best sad eyes treatment and he lifted a shoulder.

Looking at Scarlett, he signed quickly. *I don't mind since BeachHead doesn't.* He didn't even twitch when BeachHead kicked his shin hard under the table. Propping an elbow on the table to block anyone from seeing, the commando fingerspelled at his friend. *You. Dead.*

Scarlett looked like she was gritting her teeth, but nodded at her sister. "I guess you can come then." BeachHead kicked Snakes under the table harder, which he also refused to react to. He supposed he'd had years of practice at that with Scarlett around. "We're going to leave early, so you'd better get up early and be ready though, and we're not going all over the place, or the mall, just a couple stores."

Sallah got up and hugged her sister tightly, then grabbed Snake Eyes around the neck to squeeze him too. While she ran around the table at BeachHead, Snake Eyes readjusted the bandana, lifting it back up higher while his eyes smiled at the sergeant across from him's discomfort. BeachHead endured a hug around his neck, blowing red hair out of his face, and then Sallah ran out of the room, talking about what she would wear the next day. When he noted soft coughs of laughter from the ninja across from him, he tried one last boot to his shin, but he'd moved out of range.

Paddy lifted eyebrows at the three of them. "Well, you folks should have a good day tomorrow. It's good that Shana will have someone new that likes to shop. I know Snake Eyes has to be dragged out with her to go shopping."

BeachHead snorted. "I'm being dragged. But I'm only being dragged because your Shana is entirely too polite to force me at gunpoint. Dragging is much more polite."

Paddy laughed, as did the boys. Snake Eyes looked at Scarlett a moment. Finally he signed at her, looking disgusted. *If I said that, you would kick me.*

She tilted her head. "Kick him? Whyever would I do that? Beach is just joking." She smiled across at him, at the same time his shin caught the toe of her boot, and he tried manfully to not show to pain on his face. "He makes a lot of jokes, don't you, BeachHead?"

He smiled tightly. "Yeah. Yeah.. I do."

Snake Eyes suddenly lifted his face to one side, listening. BeachHead went on alert, waiting to see what was up. When the commando got up abruptly, he started to get up as well, but was waved off. *People are back.* The mute disappeared as they heard the front door opening and closing and the clatter of people coming in.

Scarlett sighed after his back, and then got up to greet the returning cousins and relatives. "Hey.. yes! We were just finishing dinner." BeachHead helped gather dishes, and took them into the kitchen. Jack took the plates from him, beginning to run a sink of hot water.

He stood a second, wondering where he should go. Jack gave him a smile. "Don't worry, it'll only be a few people coming in tonight. Handful of kiddies and a couple more adults staying here, the rest of our mob are staying other places."

BeachHead tried to look casual. "Well.. it ain't my house, not my business who stays." He looked through the doorway at the milling people. "You got a huge family."

Jack nodded. "Yep. And I'll bet in ten years it's doubled in size. Eight kids, and only Sioban and Sean have any kids of their own yet. Well.. Sarah's fiancée has a son, but he's going to be a step-son.. and isn't yet. But with the aunts, uncles and cousins, we already have a passle of kids running around all the time."

The ranger leaned on the kitchen table. "I can't imagine a family with eight kids in it."

The younger boy sighed. "I wish I couldn't sometimes. But.. I guess I don't. I got a great family, it's just sometimes there wasn't any time to just sit and be alone. There was always someone barging in." Scarlett came in and motioned at BeachHead. "Hey sis.. he's hiding in here, don't traumatize him too much."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please. BeachHead is a big tough ranger sergeant major. He'll do just fine." She took him by the wrist and pulled him along, while he rolled his eyes back at Jack, mouthing 'save me' at him. He heard him laughing as he was taken into the living room.

"Hey guys.. I wanted to introduce a guest.. this is Snake's and my friend. We call him BeachHead. Beach.. this is Amy and Tom, cousins.. " She pointed at a heavy set man with a pretty blond. "Uncle Bobby and Aunt Nancy.." She indicated a tall man who resembled Will Bill, and a middle-aged dark woman who beamed and waved at him from where she was chatting with Paddy. "Their kids are roaming around.. just ask them for their names if they slow down long enough.." On cue a small girl ran in to grab Scarlett's legs.

"Shana!! Shana!!" She reached down to hug the girl who squeeled. "Shana! Did you bring Snake Eyes?"

Scarlett laughed at her. "Yes.. he's around here somewhere, I'm sure you'll get to see him in a few." The five year old squeeled with glee again, and hugged Scarlett again. "Here.. this is another friend of mine, he's called BeachHead.. this is June, she's Amy and Tom's little girl. Say hi, June, go on." BeachHead looked down at the tiny girl. She had the same bright red hair, albeit cut short in boyish style. Huge blue eyes stared across at him suspiciously.

Finally he cleared his throat. "Umm.. Hi June."

She crossed her arms and looked up at Scarlett. "He's awfully big." Scarlett hid a smile. "He's got bigger arms than even Snake Eyes."

Scarlett nodded at her. "Yes, I believe you are right. You'll have to ask Snakes to compare for you later."

The mite looked him over again, head to toe, considering something while he fidgeted. "I guess he'll do okay." She walked over and looked up at him, her head barely reaching his thigh. "Hello BeachHead."

He blinked down at her. "Hello June. Uhh.. it's nice to meet you." She very suddenly wrapped her arms around his right leg and squeezed. "Umm.. " He looked at Scarlett. "Uhh.. "

Scarlett smiled calmly. "It's called a 'hug', BeachHead. It doesn't hurt. I promise."

He tilted his head at her. "Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny." He looked down at the child still hanging on his leg. "Uhh.. you can turn loose now."

She beamed over at Scarlett. "I like him!! He's got a funny voice! Can I keep him?" She looked up at him. "Do you like peanuts?"

Raising his eyebrows, he looked to Scarlett again. "Uhh.. some help here?" She laughed at him and he looked down at June. "You can't keep me, I'm just here for a.. umm.. a visit." She tightened her hold. "Really.. I'm leaving later." He turned to Scarlett. "It's not turning loose..."

Scott walked up and looked down at June briefly. "Hey BeachHead.. I see you've met June. She's a little young for you, isn't she?" BeachHead blushed at him. "Just kidding. She likes you. That's good. Usually she's attached to poor Snake Eyes the entire visit."

BeachHead raised his hands. "Well.. she can go attach to him now.. really.. it's okay." He lifted the leg up, and she stayed attached. "Aww... it ain't turning loose.."

Scott laughed at him. "Don't worry.. watch this.." He bent down. "June.. I got some peanuts in the kitchen." She managed to jump up and down, while still holding onto his leg. "I bet if you go look, someone will give you some."

She grinned hugely. "Really? Can I go give some to Snake Eyes??" He nodded and she took off for the kitchen area.

Relieved, BeachHead watched her run off, and looked at Scott. "What's with the peanuts?"

Scott laughed at him. "It's a long story. Don't worry, you'll be fine." A small group of kids ran in and stopped to stare at him then. "Hey kids.. June just went in the kitchen."

They nodded, still looking at BeachHead. "Who are you?" The boldest one asked.

He sucked at his lip a second. "I'm BeachHead.. who are you?" Instead of answering, they all looked at each other and then took off to the kitchen. "I'll never get used to children."

"They are such fun though." He turned to see Sarah. She was with a gawky young man and a small boy not much bigger than June. She indicated the man. "BeachHead, this is my fiancée Dan. And this is his son, Kevin. This is Shana's army friend. He's visiting for Thanksgiving with her and Snake Eyes."

Dan offered a hand up. He was as earnest looking as a hound, with floppy brown hair and big ears. BeachHead shook his hand, feeling like he would accidentally hurt the boy. He just looked plain scrawny. Sarah put her arm around him, and he smiled at her, wrapping one lanky arm around her shoulders and squeezing. "Glad to meet you! Any friend of Shana's is a friend of mine. And if Sarah likes you, then you're good people."

BeachHead nodded at him. "Ahh... okay. Nice to meet you too, Dan." Something wrapped his leg and he looked down at June who had reappeared. "Oh look.. it's back."

June smiled up at him then looked at Dan. "Uncle Dan.. I like BeachHead. He's really big and he talks funny." She tugged at his leg. "He's gonna be my boyfriend."

BeachHead choked and coughed and lifted his leg to shake it a little bit. "Oh.. oh what? What? I don't remember that.." Sarah and Dan laughed politely. "No.. no no.. really, I didn't say anything like that.." Far from being dislodged, June seemed to enjoy his attempts to shake her loose. "Ahh... hey.. Sarah.. a little help here.. "

Scarlett's sister simply smiled at him. "No, you're doing just fine."

Dan took pity on his distress. "Hey June, why don't you and Kevin go find Shana? Kevin hasn't said hello to Shana yet." June suddenly turned loose and grabbed Kevin by the hand and they ran off. "Don't worry, I'm sure she'll break up with you before the wedding."

The sergeant took a deep breath. "I think this 'vacation' is gonna give me a ulcer." Hearing the squeel again, he turned to see her beelining through the room, followed closely by a shouting Kevin. He stepped out of the way and they ran past. He twisted around in time to see both of them tackle Snake Eyes' legs as he stepped off the stairs. The commando had his cloth mask back on, tucked into the neckline of a charcoal sweater. With a child wrapped around each leg, he stumped a few more steps into the room, and bent over, tousling their hair, and making them giggle. While BeachHead watched, he peeled June off his one leg and gave her a jiggle before putting her on his hip. Then he made a claw shape with his free hand and grabbed Kevin's face, pretending to maul at him. Kevin grabbed his arm and dragged at it, yelling loudly.

Sarah gave a soft laugh. "Those kids just love him. They think he's their personal playtoy."

BeachHead couldn't help but smile a little bit. "I'm surprised they don't have any issue with.. you know.. " He motioned towards his head. "I mean.. most people do. He's a lot more casual here than he is at the P... at the.. on base, I mean."

Dan put his hands in his pockets, looking over at the ninja who was crouched down tickling at Kevin while June clambered onto his back. When she grabbed across his face with one hand, he winced and reached up to move her hand lower to his neck instead. Dan turned to the sergeant standing next to him. "He's awfully patient with the littlest kids. I know they've knocked him around, and although the older ones learn to stay away from his face.. the littles just don't get it right away."

BeachHead's mouth twitched as he suppressed a smile. Thinking of all the fights and training where the ninja was punched and thrown around, even the falls he took in the course of a typical mission.. he turned to the ungainly young man. "I'm sure it's not all that bad. He's.. he's a tough guy. We put him through the wringer, you could say. I'm sure the kids patting him won't bother him." He looked back at the commando that all of Cobra feared, that had made grown men faint, that his commanding officer had dropped into the middle of Hell, knowing that he'd take care of business and come back with the objective and extras.. as he happily played with two small tykes who giggled and wrestled with him. "No one would ever believe me."

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So BeachHead has a new girlfriend.. albeit a very tiny one he seems to need to get rid of. Scarlett's sisters seem to have a thing for Army guys, or at least for the only eligible non-related male in the mix. Poor guy.

And next chapter... he gets to meet Sioban.. promise. Unless there's some revisions...


	8. Chapter 8: Meeting Sioban

Chap 8

Finally.. as promised... Sioban... and of course.. more. Thanks so much for the awesome reviews, I love to hear what you think, and sometimes it inspires things to put into the fic.

As always, thank you for reading. And I don't have any rights to GI Joe, none of this happened, I'm not making any money, contents are measured by weight not volume and some settling may have occurred during transmission, so suck it up buttercup and shake well before opening.

On to the fic!

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As more kids discovered Snake Eyes downstairs, it got louder. Paddy finally chased them outside to the yard. Scarlett came over to check on BeachHead, but he was doing fine. Jack came and took her off to discuss something with Paddy and Sean.

BeachHead was more or less relaxed, being able to treat the gathering like a typical military gathering, where he could fake small talk without saying anything. He did feel a bit out of place, as he was wearing fatigue pants, Army tee shirt and combat boots, with everyone else in casual civilian clothing.

A new voice rose over the murmur in the room. "Oh.. and who's the new man?" He turned to see a slightly older, slightly less refined version of the O'Hara sisters coming in. BeachHead had been listening to Tom chatting about his office work, and not paying much attention to the rest. This woman walked up and then sneered slightly at him. "Oh.. wait.. Army? Must be one of Shana's." She looked around the room and frowned. "Or.. is it that she finally threw over the freak, and got a regular man instead? At least you're good looking enough to not need a bag over your head."

BeachHead felt his blood pressure go through the roof. "Look you.." He was interrupted abruptly.

Jack put a hand on BeachHead's forearm, and looked at her. "Sioban. No, this is BeachHead, he's a friend of Shana and Snake Eyes."

She narrowed her eyes. "Figures. Did she at least leave the disfigured wreck back at base?"

Despite the restraining hand, BeachHead snapped at her. "Snake Eyes might have scars, but at least he has decency." He turned to Jack. "It's a shame, but I guess even the best family has to have at least one harpy in it. Evens out the grade curve."

She stepped up and snarled in his face. "Look you grunting neanderthal, don't you try to call me out in my own home."

He snarled right back at her. "I'd rather be a illiterate knuckle-dragger, than a spoiled shallow witch. And if you'd prefer, I'll walk you out to the street and call you out there instead of inside here with decent folks."

"Figures that you'd want to be in the street, dogs without their masters around like to run, and you and that freak are classic Army.. dogs on leashes!"

BeachHead stepped closer, his throat tightening and making his accent deepen. "I'd rather be ah Army dawg, than a catty back-stabbin' weasel! Leastwise I got a use in life, 'stead of havin' nuthin' better to do than talk nasty 'bout those what serve their country!"

She opened her mouth, but suddenly clicked it shut as she spotted something over his shoulder. BeachHead jumped when the hand closed on his shoulder. Twisting, he looked into Snake Eyes' mask.

The ninja nodded him aside, giving a reassuring squeeze. Then he signed slowly to Sioban. *Hello... S.i.o.b.a.n.* He fingerspelled out her name carefully. *Wonderful to see you as always.* BeachHead seethed as his friend obviously had to be nice to this harpy. He continued to make the signs carefully and slowly so she could follow what he said. *Did you just arrive? Can I help you unpack your flying monkeys?*

BeachHead blinked, he heard snickers from around the room, and Sioban turned red. She pointed at the commando. "You... you ugly wretch! You better watch it!"

Tilting his head to the side, Snake Eyes signed to her. *Me and my little dog too?* She screeched loudly and stomped out of the room. There was a soft bit of laughter. Snake Eyes turned to BeachHead and signed at a more normal rate of speed. *I'm sorry. I wanted to warn you about Sioban before you met the 'queen harpy' in person.*

BeachHead pressed his lips together tightly and lowered his voice. "How.. I can't believe.. why haven't you run her through with a sword already?"

He watched the ninja pant-laughing at him. *I thought about it. But... she is Scarlett's sister. If anyone is going to kill her, it should be Scarlett.* The sergeant nodded but was still furious. *Come outside..* He followed the quiet man to the back of the house and out onto the porch. Once outside, the ninja leaned against the porch railing and signed to his friend.

*I appreciate your support. Don't fight with her. She and I don't get along, but there is no reason for you and her to fight also. Just ignore her. Normally she ignores me, I ignore her, peace for everyone.*

BeachHead shook his head. "I can't believe anyone could be so hateful! And you! How can you stand there and put up with it?"

Snake Eyes sighed, looking away as he answered. *I feel sorry for her.* Before the ranger could answer, he continued. *She has a wonderful family that loves her and she is very unhappy. It's very sad. So I ignore her, and she hates me. If I give her a target to hate then she leaves Scarlett alone a little more. If I fight with her, Scarlett will come get involved and then her trip home is ruined. So... we peck at each other rarely and ignore each other mostly. I'm sorry I didn't warn you before.*

Now the sergeant dropped his eyes. "I just.. I really thought this family was really good.. I mean.. everyone seems like good people. She's just sooo horrible.. it really shocked me." Snake Eyes nodded. "She really is a harpy."

The ninja sighed heavily. *No family is perfect. Most of Scarlett's family is great though. Besides..* He eyed him sideways slyly. *Once you marry June, the harpy will be your in-law.*

"Oh shut up."

*No. You stole my fiancee. I should have a honor claim against you. June was going to marry me the last trip here I made. I think I shall be jealous.*

BeachHead threw his hands up. "Shut up! Shut! Up!"

*We shall have a duel of honor.*

"If you seriously don't shut up, I'm going to punch you."

*I shall call upon Kamakura to be my second.. we shall meet on the field at dawn.. I choose the weapons...*

"Shut. Up. You crazy ninja! I swear! You are about to get a butt whipping."

*As weapons.. I choose cheese wheels. Ancient ancestors of the cheddar.. guide my hand... I shall avenge my fallen honor....*

BeachHead made a fist and stepped towards the genuflecting ninja. "Do you really want to go there? Cause I'm about to punch your return ticket for you!"

Snake Eyes looked at him out of the corner of his eye, standing dramatically on the porch looking out into the dark backyard.

*Even Storm Shadow never stooped so low as to steal my littlest fiancée...* He leapt onto the railing, and jumped over the swinging fist as Beach tried futilely to swipe his legs out from under him. Grabbing the edge of the porch roof, he lifted himself upwards and disappeared. Suddenly he hung upside-down from the edge, to sign one last parting shot. *I'll woo her back to me.. you can keep the harpy though.*

"YOU!!" BeachHead was shouting at empty air and the ninja disappeared again. "Danged sneaky ninjas! Come back here and let me punch you!" Snake Eyes wisely did not reappear and the sergeant shook his head and smiled. Then he went back inside.

Scarlett grabbed his arm right away. "I heard you and Sioban had words.. I'm sorry. I'm going to go.. " He stopped her, shushing her and holding his hands up.

"Shush that mess. It's fine. Snakes and I had a chat, and he explained about her, and as soon as we have our cheese duel tomorrow morning, everything will go back to normal." She stared at him. "Kidding? I shouldn't have bothered, I can't ever tell jokes."

"BeachHead.. you've been spending too much time with Snakes, really." She shook her head. He sighed back at her and suddenly yawned, putting a hand up to cover his mouth and look slightly embarrassed. "What? You're not tired?"

"It's late.. it's.." He looked at his watch. "Geez.. it's nine o'clock already."

She argued with him mildly. "Time difference, it's only seven back home, so you have another hour." He heaved a dramatic sigh at her and just looked at her sadly. "Stop it. You might have pretty brown eyes, but you don't do the sad puppy look well at all."

"Yeah, I do the angry-sergeant look a lot better. That's what you're gonna see come morning when I haven't had my beauty sleep." She snickered a little. "By the way.. I think I'm engaged to your five-year-old cousin. Isn't that illegal, even in Georgia?"

She shook her head at him. "June? Poor Snake Eyes.. he'll be devastated that he's been tossed aside for the latest model."

BeachHead grunted. "Well, he's welcome to get her back, I'm really not interested, she's just a little young for me."

Suppressing a grin, the redhead turned to him with surprise. "A 'little' young? And besides.. what will CoverGirl say?"

He snorted at that. "Why should she care?" He turned away, and Scarlett stepped closer. His voice was soft. "She doesn't have any attachment to me, geez.. she can't stand me."

She stepped up closer. "That's not true. She does like you, you just won't give her a chance. I think she really would like to get to know you better, be your friend." He lifted one shoulder in a falsely uncaring shrug. "What can it hurt to at least be friendly?"

Taking a deep breath, he looked down at his hands before her answered. "I don't know that I want to risk finding out how much it can hurt to try." He glanced up at her face and then away. "I don't know how.. " She tucked his arm under hers. "Scarlett, really.. she can't really be interested in me.. for me. I don't have anything to offer someone.. you know.. someone like her."

Scarlett hugged his arm a little bit. "Why don't you let her decide if you have anything to offer? It seems that she thinks you're worth the trouble." Bending in closer she smiled. "I don't know why.. you're way more trouble than you're worth.. I mean.. you're grumpy, you exercise too much, you yell a lot, you smell..."

He pulled away, rolling his eyes. "There you go again.. being all flattering and everything.. Snakes will have to kill me twice, once for stealing June, once for stealing you." Tilting his arm out, he nudged her with an elbow. "Thanks.. I'm sure it won't come to nuthin', she'll come to her senses and find someone else."

Scarlett sighed at him. He sighed in exact imitation. "Don't start up at me. And.. I'm going to go get some sleep."

"Party pooper." He nodded and walked away, moving through the people to the stairs to head up to his room. Snake Eyes came to her side, his body language questioning. She wrapped one arm around his waist. "We kept Beach up past his bedtime, he's going to get some sleep." He rested his chin on top of her head briefly, and slipped a hand around to her back. "Are you doing okay? I'm sorry about Sioban earlier.."

He snorted at her and signed *I'm fine. Forget her.*

Jack walked by and jabbed his sister in the side. "Hey you two.. get a room!"

Scarlett grinned at him. "I have a room.. and if you're not nice, we'll go use your room."

He stuck his tongue out at them. "Yeah, empty threat sis! I lock my door."

Snake Eyes turned loose long enough to sign a reply at him. *N.I.N.J.A.* Jack blanched and made a cross with his fingers. *That's for witches, not ninjas.*

"Yeah.. well.. you guys are creepy sometimes." Jack grinned at them, teasing at his older sister.

Snake Eyes signed placidly at the young man. *I'm a ninja, we're trained to be creepy.*

* * * *

End Chapter

So.... BeachHead survived the first Harpy Encounter. I'll be thinking up a new quiz question soon, and I'm gonna try to make it a HARD one! Too many people keep getting it right!

Hope you're enjoying the fic, I've got a few side things I'm working on(as some of you have read), and they'll be posted up as I get them done. I'm also considering posting a fic that got a bit of gore.. it's strictly something I wrote when I got mad.. but it turned out decently once I gave it a going-over afterwards.

For those that have been asking.. YES BeachHead and CoverGirl will eventually be an item.. but BeachHead is being a numbskull, sorry. I'll give him a talking-to.

From Lil' Beachie,

"Yew readers bettah get yer eyeballs workin' cause she writes way too much! She betteh get some extra PT in soon or Ah'll be whippin' some butt! Now DROP AN' GIMME FIFTY!!"

Ahem... yes... that's all from Lil' Beachie tonight. He's been put under the coffee cup again for a 'time-out' until he can remember he's an action figure and is supposed to be nice. I can hear muffled yelling through the ceramic.. I better go!

(to see Lil' Beachie, go to my profile.. he's my avatar pic now. He's a pushy little guy.)


	9. Chapter 9: terribly short

Chap 9

Hey all!! So sorry I haven't been updating, but I've gotten busy writing, and forgot to break chapters and post! OMG! This is a very short chapter, but it's the only way I could break it. I'll post another longer chapter soon!

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Still downstairs, after BeachHead went to bed...

Scarlett noticed her man beginning to tire. He didn't show it much, just tiny signs she'd learned to see over the years. The same guy who could sneak around for a week without sleep had issues staying up past midnight at a cocktail party. She suspected that despite his relaxed attitude around her family, any social situation was just stressful for him.

BeachHead had retired hours beforehand, and the kids had been sent to bed soon after that. She had to field jibes about her friend going to sleep before the little kids had, but she shrugged and told them he got up early and it was his schedule. Other than Sioban's catty comments, the rest were meant in good humor and she threatened to wake the jokers up at the same hour that the sergeant would be getting up.

Her good natured Uncle Bobby wandered up to her before she could go intercept Snake Eyes. "Shana.. you get more lovely each time I see you. The Army must agree with you. Are you keeping up on your training too?" She assured him she was, trying not to smirk about the levels of training she was regularly put through. "Wonderful. I know your father has always said you were the most talented of his brood. maybe once you get this Army kick out of your system, you'll come back to teaching at the school."

She sighed lightly. "Perhaps. Snake Eyes and I have discussed taking on students at some point."

Uncle Bobby became thoughtful. "Yess... he has a student.. doesn't he? That polite young man that came by at Christmas last year, brought some important message that made him leave the celebration before Christmas Eve even."

She hummed. "Yes.. Kamakura. He's a good kid."

The lean older man looked around the room. "So where's that friend of yours? Seems like our young Sallah is quite taken with him.. just how trustworthy is he?" He gave her a stern look. "I know how Army guys can be sometimes.. they tend to forget themselves when they get off duty."

She actually laughed before she could stop herself. "Sorry... really.." She swallowed and coughed slightly. "Trust me, we have nothing to worry about with BeachHead. He might come off as a rough redneck, but he's really quite a gentleman deep down. And he has zero interest in a kid as young as Sallah, frankly, she's managing to terrify him. I heard about June declaring he's her new boyfriend, and I think he may have swallowed his tongue." Bobby chuckled. "He's a good man. If Sallah doesn't give him a stroke, I'm sure he'll figure out some way of discouraging her. Either that, or Snake Eyes will help him out with some advice, he managed to discourage her from chasing him, after all."

Uncle Bobby looked uncomfortable. "Well.. she was ten then.. not fifteen.. but I think he eventually sat her down and explained that although she was a lovely young lady, he'd lost his heart irretrievably to you. With him being so sappy in love with you, what else could she do?"

Scarlett stared at him. "He never told me that." She looked across the room at her partner, currently chatting via sign to Sean and Paddy, about managing self-defense students it seemed. "Speaking of my mysterious boyfriend, I'd better get him off to sleep. We have a shopping trip planned for tomorrow." She smiled at her relative. "Would you believe, Beach doesn't even own civilian clothes? We're going to fix him up tomorrow."

Her uncle gave her a polite hug, and let her move off to collect Snake Eyes. She thought he might look a little relieved to have the excuse to retire for the night. She dressed for bed while he did his evening stretches. Her old room was still somewhat familiar. Her family had changed it to a guest room, but it still contained enough to make her sigh with the comfort that said 'home'.

Hearing her sigh, her ninja looked over, an unspoken query on his unmasked face. She smiled and crawled into the bed, stealing the extra pillow to stuff next to the wall. "I'm glad this trip is going mostly well, Sioban aside." He twisted his neck, making it crackle. "Are you okay?"

He sat on the edge of the bed. *I'm fine.* She fiddled with the edge of the pillowcase. *I'm happy to be here with you.* That made her smile. He rolled over onto his elbows and chest, looking at her.

She suddenly laughed softly, and reached to stroke his face. "I love you. Thanks for coming to all these family gatherings. I know.. you'd rather stay away from people.. go to the mountains."

He puffed out a breath. *I like your family. It's the only time I get to play with kids.*

She laid down, propping her head on one arm. "I know, you never get to be anything but the deadly ninja, nothing but military efficiency and kickass fighting. I like to get to be with this side of you too." He bellycrawled up to lay beside her, snugging himself into the curve of her body. She could feel him smile against her breast as he pillowed his head there. "You're a hedonist." He nodded slightly, taking a deep breath and slipping his hand across her waist to hold her lightly. Stroking lightly across her belly, he tugged the covers up over them both.

*Go to sleep.*

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END Chapter

Well, there's the chapter, and the next is much longer and more interesting. Lil Beachie tried to make me do sit-ups so he's under a coffee cup until he calms down. I'm certain he'll have tons to say next chapter, he's ornery.


	10. Chapter 10: Morning PT

Chap 10

Hello! Sorry again for last chapter's shortness. Just to mention, BeachHead(like Snake Eyes) will be a lot more chatty in the unfamiliar family style setting. He's getting a chance to talk to people who he's not training, who won't have the chance to get killed next week by Cobra, who seem to be trying to like him and be friendly, for no reason other than they are nice normal people. Normally he's only got a handful of people to talk to, without risking his status as "Sgt Hardass" who everyone hates for his killer PT sessions. And even THOSE people risk getting killed on a regular basis, even Lifeline runs into firefights as part of his job. But will he LIKE meeting these people and being around them?

Insert normal disclaimer here of not having ownership, not making money, and not scratching my butt while typing the story.. wait.. I think I was gonna leave that last one off.. oh well!

As always, thank YOU for reading my humble stories! And huge thanks to those that give me such awesome reviews, and discussions of characters in PMs, it's really great to find so many die-hard Joe fans!

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BeachHead slept fitfully. He'd done his normal sit-ups and push-ups, and went to bed in his shorts, enjoying soft nice smelling covers, although the mattress was overly soft. He'd placed his handgun on the stand, but then moved it to under the pillows on the wall side of the bed, worried about kids coming in. Seth came in to go to bed on the other side of the room and reawakened him. The lighted clock told him it was after one in the morning at that point, and he'd closed his eyes again, dropping off to sleep immediately. Another hour passed when he'd woken up again at Scarlett's voice as she passed by in the hallway, talking to Snakes it sounded like. He'd rolled over and tucked himself into the blankets and pillow, stifling the noise in the house enough that he stopped waking up. His ability to sleep through anything was stymied by his body insisting that there could be a threat in the noises and waking back up if anyone walked by the door, or there were any louder noises.

Finally morning and he awoke. His eyes blinked open suddenly and for a second he was confused about his surroundings. Then he shifted under the blankets and took a deep breath. A slight noise made him roll over to come face to face with two small faces at edge of the bed, inches from his nose.

"HOLY..!!" He jumped upright, and the two kids scrambled out of the room at high speed. Panting, he shook his head. The door was cracked open after the tiny spies had disappeared through it, and he rubbed one hand over his hair for a minute, trying to boot his brain into working. He stretched, feeling his back snapping into place. Seth was just a indistinct lump under his covers, a light snore sounding on occasion.

The first hints of daylight were creeping in around the curtains, and he sighed, listening, he didn't hear a sound from the rest of the house. As late as they'd all stayed up, he was surprised even the kids had been awake.

Drawing on a set of lightweight camo pants, he sat to tie his boots. Plucking up his worn green shirt that still had 'Ranger' across the chest in faded letters and his holster and harness with the handgun, he trotted down the stairs quietly, and stood for a moment at the front door. It was locked and he didn't want to leave it open while he went on a run. Checking the backdoor in the kitchen showed it was left unlocked so he left via that door and drew his shirt on as he stepped into the yard. Push-ups and sit-ups took only a few minutes and then he was standing at the road, looking each direction to decide which way to run. He tossed the chest strap over his head and settled the sidearm into place against his upper ribs.

"What are you doing?" The little voice made him twist around in surprise. A small tousled head poked over a shrub, peeping at him. As he looked over the bush, he found three of the kids were hiding and watching him.

"I'm going out for a run. What are you kids doing out here?" They all looked at each other.

A little piping voice made him whirl around. "We're gonna go too!" June beamed up at him and hugged his leg before he could get away from her.

"Ahhh.. no.. no you kids are going back inside.." He shook his leg. "June.. you can't go with me.. you guys are too little." She scowled at him and he distinctly felt a tiny brief flash of fear because she looked so much like Scarlett with that expression.. and he knew how stubborn she was. "You can't keep up with me, and you'll get tired."

All three of the older kids looked at him and insisted that they wouldn't get tired. June simply hung onto his leg. He finally sighed and threw his hands up. "I'm going.. you just need to stay here." He bent and looked at June. "Let go of my leg." She turned loose and gave him a frown. He turned and decided on the road lined with houses, rather than towards the main road. He glanced back and sighed, as all four kids trotted behind him gamely. Briefly considering speeding up to outrun them, he sighed. As he thought, after about a mile of jogging, the three stopped and suddenly became interested in the local playground he passed. When he glanced back however, June was still determinedly on his heels however. He stopped.

"June.. go back to the playground." She was breathing hard but stubbornly stood there. "Go on.. go with your friends." He tried a shooing motion. "Go on.."

"No. I'm gonna go with you!" He took a very deep breath. "You can't MAKE me stay!"

He rocked back and forth, looking at the playground a few hundred yards behind them. "Don't you want to play? Running is really boring."

She looked up at him. "Why do you run then?" He opened his mouth and then closed it again.

Holding up his hand in consternation, he finally answered. "I like to go for runs, it's usually quiet and it's very good exercise." She kept looking at him. "Are you going to go back to the playground?" She shook her head. "I'm not going to stop and bring you back when you get tired!" She stared at him and he gave up and turned to head out. Settling into easy trot, he let his body relax into the rhythm. He listened to the girl following him doggedly, panting as she kept up.

After another mile, he glanced back to see June falling behind badly, but still struggling. He slowed to a stop, sighing heavily. She came up and sat on the grass, looking up at him. "I told you to stay behind." She just looked at him, and he tried to feel like a hardass and not care that she was little and tired. It wasn't as if he could leave a five-year-old on the side of the road. Snakes would murder him out of hand if he did... besides.. she had kept up for two miles, which for someone with legs as little as hers was more like his normal ten. He groaned and squatted down. "Alright alright.. climb on." She clambered onto his back and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hang on. I can't believe I have to carry you.. I told you that you couldn't keep up."

She didn't answer, just held on and he settled into a ground-eating lope for the rest of his run. The extra weight was not an issue, she couldn't weigh much more than forty pounds or so. Since he ran with his full field pack of ninety pounds on occasion just to push himself, a small child wasn't much of a burden. It would be preferable if she'd not strangle his neck, but then, kids didn't come with shoulder straps.

He reached what he would judge to be about five miles and turned around to head back.

Her voice piped up. "Aren't you tired?"

He grunted. "No."

"You're all sweaty though."

He puffed out a breath. "Yeah." When he approached the playground again, he reacquired his other three followers.

"BeachHead!!" "Look he's back!" They fell in behind him and around him, running along and chattering as they ran with him back to the house. Buster ran out to bark at them loudly and the kids chased the shepard back into the yard. When he approached the front and turned in the gate, he saw Scarlett standing on the porch with Paddy in his wheelchair.

Paddy grinned widely. "You can take the boy out of the Army.. but you sure can't take the Army outa the boy, can you now?" Scarlett shook her head. "Good morning! A little early to be up and about, isn't it?"

He reached up to take June's wrists and peeled her off his back to place her on her feet on the ground. "Naw.. I'm usually up before now.. the time difference has me a little confused is all." He indicated the kids who had run off around to the backyard. "Sorry.. I told them not to follow me.. but they don't listen. They stopped at the playground."

Paddy shrugged. "They usually end up down there anyway. June.. did you go for a pony ride?" She reached up to hug the older man tightly.

"No! I went for a run with Beachhead!" She reached for Scarlett to pick her up and hugged her too.

BeachHead grunted and stretched his back. "You went for a 'carry' not a 'run'. She petered out about two miles in."

Scarlett sighed at him. "She's five years old.. she's not a runner."

The sergeant gave her a look. "Yes, that's why I told her to stay here."

Scarlett gave up. "Whatever. I'll go wake up Snake Eyes and Sallah. If we're going to shop today, I'd rather get out early. And before you groan and make faces, yes, you do still have to come shopping." She disappeared inside, and Paddy laughed at his eye rolling.

BeachHead stretched his arms and walked a circle cooling off. "Why couldn't you raise nice pliable daughters? Instead you did such a great job making them strong and independent and bullheaded." Paddy wiped his eyes. "Seriously.. Scar... ahh.. Shana is a great woman. I hope you're proud of her. She's the toughest gal I know. A good sight tougher than a lotta men I've met." BeachHead took a seat on the edge of the ramp up to the porch, looking over his shoulder at the older man.

Paddy leaned down a little to put a hand on his back. "I know.. trust me. I've been proud of her since she could walk. We might not have been all that pleased that she chose the Army, but she's definitely never given us reason to not be proud of her." He sighed. "It took a while for me to understand why she would choose someone who has to keep his face hidden. But.. she won't be parted from the man."

BeachHead rocked back slightly. "I can't say that I really ever approved of anyone in service having relationships.. against the rules.. but.." He looked at the house and lowered his voice. "Don't tell them, but those two.. they belong together. They make each other stronger, and well.. I'd hate the be the person trying to separate them."

Paddy nodded, and turned to see June coming out carrying two large mugs carefully. She handed him one and brought the other one over to BeachHead who accepted it from her with a smile.

He sipped at the coffee and gave her a little poke to her stomach. "Thank you. Now see Paddy? A gal that'll bring me coffee in the mornings.. that's much better than one that kicks me in the head." June beamed at him and hugged his neck. BeachHead smiled before he could catch himself. He really couldn't bring himself to mind getting hugged by a cute kid all that much. Besides, June wasn't just any kid, she was a tough little thing, running behind him that far. Someone inside called her name and she went to see.

Paddy chuckled at him and he quickly wiped the smile off his face. The older man wasn't fooled and shook his head. "June kinda grows on you, you'll want to take her back to base with you before you leave."

BeachHead cleared his throat. "No. I just.. you know, I don't wanna be mean to the kid, right? If I'm mean to one of these bothersome kids, Snakes will come kick me in the head." Paddy just chuckled again. "I hope I'm not being a pain, you know.. being here. It was really last minute, I had no idea what was up until they came and got me on sunday, and we were on the road the same day."

Paddy nodded, giving him a sly look. "We knew you were supposed to be coming about a week ago."

Twisting to give him an outraged look, BeachHead sputtered. "Wh-what? What do you mean you knew? How could you know? I didn't know!"

The older man leaned back in his wheelchair looking smug. "Shana called to ask if it would be okay for her to bring a friend, who didn't have anyplace else to go for thanksgiving. Of course we said yes. Ninjas and such aside, Shana has a very good judge of character, and I trust her instincts with people." He grinned at how perturbed the sergeant major appeared to be. "Don't go feeling ornery! They all were worried over you, from the little Shana told me. You should be glad that your friends care enough to trick you into things. Besides, so far nothing earth-shatteringly bad has happened to you yet. And I heard that you won't be washing any dishes come thursday. Nice job of taking down my boys a peg or three, by the way."

BeachHead ducked his head. "Sorry.. he just.. well.. he disparaged the Army."

Paddy raised an eyebrow. "Well, that'd do it, wouldn't it? I'm happy it was a contest, rather than a fistfight. While I can tell with a glance that you'd outlast any of the boys in endurance, and you're undoubtedly stronger, in a fight hand-to-hand, I think Sean or Scott would take you down. Unless of course, you tried dirty tricks they wouldn't expect."

Now the Ranger twisted to give him a serious look. "Sir, I wouldn't get into a fistfight with your boys. I can't risk it. I only know one way to fight, and they'd end up hurt badly before they got more than a punch or two in. I'm trained for combat fighting, and if it something flares up, that's the mode that kicks in. Snakes and Scarlett, they teach hand-to-hand all day, and do a ton of sparring, so they can turn it on or off. Snake Eyes.. he's got so much control, he'd never lose it. But me.. I might be a instructor, but when it comes to getting' jumped, I only have one switch. I keep a tight rein on my temper, all the time. But I'm afraid I'd snap a bone or two before I realized that I shouldn't."

Paddy leaned towards him. "I understand the need. Shana might keep details close about her, about the work she does in the Army, but she comes home with injuries too often for me to believe she's being a desk jockey and just an instructor. I'm pretty certain the scars you carry didn't come from paper cuts. Don't worry though. My boys are too disciplined to start fistfights, or I'll take them down a few notches myself."

BeachHead looked off at the grass and trees. "You know.. I've been all running off at the mouth since I got here. It ain't like me."

"Maybe it's because you needed time to unwind. Folks need time to release the tension they're under, time to just relax and vent and talk things out. Anytime you need to talk, even just to work something out in your head, you feel free to come chat with me, son." The O'Hara patriarch straightened and smiled as he watched the quartet of children go racing down the road again, shouting about something important only to them.

BeachHead sighed to himself, looking into the coffeecup. He was feeling settled and relaxed more than he wanted to. He'd even caught himself thinking about how nice a family like this would be to have, and envying the older boy his place in the world, what with a wife, kids, an extended family. Imagining a life that didn't involve getting sent off to be shot at on a regular basis, or the strict structure of Army days.. he snorted at himself and firmly turned his mind from such things. Fancy civilian life, wasn't anything he needed to think about.

"Well sir.. I'm guessing it's just the good company. Bein' surrounded by raw young recruits all day, it'd drive anyone to talk to a fencepost, much less good intelligent people like you and your family. I might just lose my voice though. I haven't screamed at anyone in way too long. I might forget how to."

Paddy laughed loudly at him. "Well, anytime you forget, you can go out back and yell at the bushes for a while. I imagine they'll listen about as well as those recruits you deal with!"

BeachHead laughed out loud before he could stop himself. "You're probably right, they're probably more obedient too."

* * * *

END Chapter:

Before he has an aneurysm, Lil Beachie gets his chance to tell you guys stuff.

Yeah right! Yew danged woman! Putting me under a COFFEECUP! Yew bettah watch it! And yew readahs!! Yew bettah be exercising yer eyeballs, cause Ah'm pushin' this here author to get it in gear! She's lazy and don't get nuthin' done on time! Always with the side stories and always doing some other things, mumblin' 'bout "plot bunnehs" and junk! Ah'll tell yew whut! She'll be writin' til her danged fingers bleed!! YEAH! AND Another thang!! Don't be makin' me all chatty! AH am not chatty! Sure.. they wuz good peoples, and yeah Ah talked to Paddy a lot, he's a tough ole bird... that danged Sioban witchy woman, yew JUS' wait!

Anyway! Ah'm gonna be takin' charge of this here story stuff! She'll fall in line RIGHT QUICK!!!

*scuffling noises*

ALRIGHT!!! NO!! Not the cup!!

AHem.. yes. That's all from Lil Beachie.. for the next few hours, until he manages to lift that cup again. Pushy action figures.. what can you do? Besides, he's so darned cute! I'll distract him with a new group of little greenshirts. Until next chapter!! Thank you for reading! And the reviews are great! I let Lil Beachie read them too, but he's just snarky.


	11. Chapter 11: Mission prep

Chap 11

Wow! Everyone seems to have adored June, I'm glad she's such a popular character. This chapter sees everyone else getting up and everyone(Yes, even Beach) getting ready to go shopping. Ninja's before coffee... erk...

As you undoubtedly saw, I took off time of writing this, in order to write a plot bunny. Lil Beachie can't keep me from writing plot bunnies!! He just can't! Especially when he's under a coffeecup.

I have no rights to GI Joe, I'm not making $$ off writing this, and none of this.. ever.. happened... except in the deep dank recesses of my brain which is a terribly dark and scary place at times, and most folks stay the heck outa there!

Thank you all for reading!

On to the story!

* * * *

Scarlett frowned as she poked her head into her youngest sister's room. "Look, if you want to go, then get up and get ready. Otherwise, we'll just leave without you." She was grumbled at in sleepy tones, and closed the door on the protests. Either she would get up and be ready, or she would leave her behind, and deal with the whining after they got back.

Up the hallway, she slipped into her room, moving across the floor to the bed. Snake Eyes twisted restlessly under the covers, his breath coming quicker than it should for a sleeping man. "Snakes... wake up.. you're dreaming.." He coughed softly a few times, and then came awake suddenly, thrashing his way up out of the covers. "Easy.. you were just dreaming.. it's okay." He blinked and sat up, scrunching the blanket around in his lap, and wiping his face. "You okay? Having a nightmare?"

He signed at her shortly. *Tuesday. I hate tuesday mornings.* He shivered and she reached to pull the blanket up over his back. She tried to scoot next to him and he shifted away instead.

Taking the not-so-subtle hint, she got up and pulled clothing out for him instead. Getting a soft long sleeve blue shirt and khaki slacks out, she held them up, raising an eyebrow. "These okay?" He was scowling at nothing in particular and lifted a shoulder as his only reply. "Alright, I'll leave them out for you." She got her own outfit out, choosing a long green skirt and white blouse, pulling her favorite yellow sweater out to go with it. Carrying the clothing with her, she went to shower, leaving the brooding ninja seated on the bed.

* * * *

They had breakfast of poptarts, toast and muffins among them, Snake Eyes taking his toast with jam out onto the back porch to eat. Dressed in pajama pants and shirtless, the commando looked bleery-eyed and sleepy, wearing a bandana across his face and his blond hair sleep-tossed. His torso showed the scars from his years of fighting, but he didn't seem to mind those being visible. BeachHead walked out with him, carrying a second cup of very excellent coffee.

He glanced over at the man. "You look like crap this morning."

Snake Eyes glared at him sideways and tugged the bandana up higher before he signed crossly. *I always look like crap, congratulations on being the first person of the day to remind me.* Before BeachHead could apologize, he stalked back inside, ignoring the morning greetings from Sean and Jack who had appeared. The two brothers were dressed in pajamas still.

The younger of them jerked his head at the retreating ninja as he took the stairs two-by-two. "What's eating him? He get up on the wrong side of bed?"

BeachHead grunted. "He's moody this morning for sure." Scarlett reached for a second muffin and offered Beach half of it. "No thanks."

She shrugged. "Don't worry about Snake Eyes. He'll be okay. If you're done with breakfast, you can go grab a shower first. Avoid the rush."

Sean motioned at his gun as he started to get up. "You can leave your pistol in Dad's study if you want. We keep all the weapons locked in there while there's kiddos running around." BeachHead hesitated but nodded. He followed Sean into the small office and peeled off the shoulder holster. Then he thought about it and pulled out the two smaller .40 caliber handguns from the small of his back and his front pocket. Sean raised an eyebrow. "Umm... is that all of them?"

BeachHead looked at him. "Does it need to be?" At Sean's nod, he sighed and pulled a smaller pistol from the top of his boot. "I'm gonna feel naked."

Sean shook his head at him. "You Army guys are paranoid. Besides, it's not like you aren't probably carrying a couple of knives on you anyway."

The sergeant gave him a strange look. "Well.. seven.. but who's counting?" Sean shook his head and locked the door behind them. "There's a few more guns in the vehicle.. but Scarlett locked it." He started up the stairs and then leaned to ask the young man. "Soo.. do you guys disarm Snakes too?"

Sean laughed softly. "Would you?"

"Point taken.. I'm getting a shower." He walked up the stairs. As he passed the room Scarlett and Snake Eyes were staying in, he poked his head inside the open door. "Hey.. oh.. sorry." He looked away from where Snake Eyes was applying his facemask. He'd worn the rubber lifelike mask before, but BeachHead had never seen him putting it on. "I just wanted to let you know, Scarlett said to get cleaned up and ready.. but I guess you already know."

Snake Eyes nodded and flicked his hand in a motion for him to leave. BeachHead shut the door behind him. Crabby ninjas were not on his list of things he wanted to mess with. His shower took only a few minutes and he dressed quickly in the bathroom, then went back to his room to find a clean shirt. Olive drab pants and a white teeshirt, and he drew on a button-up matching long sleeved OD shirt. Replacing his weapons, he rolled the sleeves up as he descended the stairs. He didn't see why he should have to go out and buy civilian clothing. These were perfectly fine.

The kids were on the living room floor when he came through and they looked at him as he walked by. One grinned at him.

"Look! It's a real Army man!" He flashed a quick smile at him in reply and stepped into the kitchen.

Jack looked at him from the toaster where he was burning perfectly good bread. "Hey.. stylin'. Do you own anything that isn't green?" He smirked at him in reply. "If you were just taller, we'd call you the Jolly Green Giant."

BeachHead rolled his eyes at him. "Har-de-har-har. Such a comedian. I'll leave the dressing up to you boys." He stepped over and appropriated Jack's buttered piece of toast. "By the way.. really cute jammies.. love the little sheepies on them." Jack turned red and punched at his shoulder. "Ouch.. really.. that just was almost as painful as a mosquito bite."

Sean snickered at his teasing of his brother. "Jack, give up, you're not even awake, stop trying to win a battle of wits this early." Jack made a mock-punch at his brother.

Scarlett pointed at him. "Jack.. stop it. Go see if your sister is getting ready to come with us. Snakes will have his face on soon."

Scott had just poured juice and snickered at her comment. "You're the only woman I know that talks about her man 'putting on his face'." He glanced up and sobered at the look on her face. "What? Oh come on.. I was just saying.." He watched her eyes go to the doorway behind him and he put the glass down with a resigned expression. "He's right behind me, isn't he?"

Snake Eyes reached past his arm to take the glass of juice. He dropped a straw into it and sipped, watching Scott the entire time. The mask, although skillfully applied, didn't conceal the scars around his eyes. The glass thunked back onto the counter.

He signed at the younger man. *If I get shot another few times, I'll have to put on my butt every morning.* General relieved laughter rang out, and Scott elbowed the ninja in his ribs.

BeachHead grinned, because he remembered the recent incident where a Cobra trooper managed to shoot the renowned Joe.. in his right buttcheek. The commando had shot the trooper between the eyes before he could pull the trigger a second time. Then he'd shot him four more times, just because he was so angry he wasn't going to get to beat him up for shooting him in the butt. Although it could have been a disastrous situation, since that one trooper had the drop on the entire patrol, Snake Eyes quick reflexes had stopped the attack before anyone else was injured or killed. It hadn't made him any happier about being shot in the butt though.

Sean noticed his grin, and reached to poke at him. "Hey.. it wasn't you shooting our bud in the heinie, was it?"

BeachHead shook his head. "Naw.. if I got mad enough to shoot Snakes, I wouldn't miss. Nothin' worse than a angry ninja chasing ya down."

Scarlett shook her head and pointed at the kitchen chair in front of her. "Alright Beach, sit yourself down." He tilted his head backwards suspiciously. "Sit." She brandished a brush at him. "You had your chance to comb it, it's a disaster, I'm doing your hair." He shook his head, and started to back up only to run into Snake Eyes and Sean who took him by his arms and urged him over to the chair.

He sat down into it by Snake Eyes kicking him behind his knee. "Hey! I'm fine, I'll comb it.. I promise!"

Scarlett leaned over his shoulder from behind. "Too late. Just sit still, I'll make you look nice." He grunted as she patted him. Snake Eyes leaned against the counter and watched. Scarlett sprayed water on his head, and rubbed a hand over his hair.

He winced as she dragged the brush through his hair. "I should have shaved it off.." She hummed as she continued pulling tangles out. "Ouch! Take it easy.."

"Don't be a baby." She picked at a lump of hair, pulling it apart before attacking it with the brush as well. "Beach, don't you ever comb your hair? I've seen four year olds with fewer tangles." He twisted his head as she tugged another tangle loose. "Hold still."

He squinted his eyes and fidgeted. "Well I always have my balaclava on, OW!! Dang it woman!!" She flicked her comb onto the top of his head. "OW!"

"Stop moving." She waited until he clamped his jaw shut and sat still. "I'm trying not to pull it too much, but it's a mess. Maybe you should just shave it short."

His voice sounded sulky. "I don't like it shaved short." He glared at the onlookers, who were enjoying his distress. "What are you lot looking at?" Snake Eyes propped his chin in one hand and pointed at him. "Shut up, Snake Eyes. Your hair doesn't look much better than mine."

The ninja reached up and ran fingers through his blond locks. *Mine isn't tangled.*

BeachHead snorted at him. "It's longer than mine, I'd think you'd keep it short as much as it's hidden under your mask."

Snake Eyes reached up and fiddled with his hair a little, looking uncomfortable. *It has to be longer to cover the.. bare spots..*

Jack looked at his head. "What? You getting bald early?" Snake Eyes gave a half shrug at him.

Scarlett wasn't looking at either of them as she answered. "No.. it's scars. But it looks fine with a little length." Suddenly she stopped and ran her fingers through the brown slightly curly hair under her hands. "You know.. I've never seen someone with more cowlicks. How do you ever get it to lay right?"

BeachHead rolled his eyes up to look at her. "I keep it covered up with a balaclava headmask... remember?" She waved the comb at him again. "Okay okay!! Don't thwap me!"

She narrowed her eyes as she ran the comb through his hair a few more times. "Jack.. why don't you bring me some of that gel you use?" BeachHead opened his mouth to object and saw Snake Eyes wagging a finger at him.

*Give in, you'll end up letting her do it anyway.*

By the time Jack returned from the upstairs, Scarlett was finishing combing out his hair, and he had to admit, to himself at least, it felt nice.

The redhead unscrewed the jar and applied just a little bit of gel, rubbing it through the hair. "You have nice hair. If you take care with it, you'd look very nice." He grunted at that. She began combing again, and he sat still, wondering what exactly she was doing. "Between the cowlicks and the scars, I think it would look really weird if you clipped it short." He shrugged a little bit. "There... all done. That wasn't too bad, was it?"

He got up quickly, restraining himself from reaching up and messing with his hair. "Yeah, it was peachy." He watched Snake Eyes seat himself and look up at Scarlett. "What are you doing?"

Snake Eyes tilted his head back slightly and smiled. Scarlett began to comb his hair out for him. *I like it when Scarlett brushes my hair.* She smiled at his signing and bent to kiss the top of his head. *Thank you.*

It only took a minute for her to arrange the mute's hair for him. He got up and hugged her, then stepped back to look her over. *You look lovely, I like that skirt on you.* She preened, and he turned to the sergeant. *Don't you think so?*

BeachHead jumped, and then looked the woman over. "Scarlett always looks great. Shoot, you could wear a gunnysack and look good."

She dropped a mock curtsy at him. "Waahh, thank ye good sir.." Her exaggerated southern accent made him frown. "Ah do daclare, you're about ta make me blush, good sirrah.."

He grumphed in reply. "Are you makin' fun of me?" She laughed at his expression and gave him a hug, which he endured.

Turning to the stairs, she looked and smiled. "Finally! Sallah, we were about to leave without you. You look great."

The young girl came down the steps slowly. She was dressed in a flowing skirt and a light blouse, and had done her hair up in an artfully tousled manner. BeachHead looked up at her.

She gave him a shy smile. "Do you think I look okay?"

BeachHead started to reply and spotted Snake Eyes off to the side fingerspelling over and over. *c..u.t.e... c.u.t.e... say c.u.t.e...*

He cleared his throat and glanced at the ninja before looking at her. "Ahh.. yeah.. you look.. umm.. you look cute." He wasn't prepared for the angry look he got from the girl.

She scowled at him and stomped the rest of the way into the kitchen. He looked over at Jack who was hiding a snicker behind his hand, and Scarlett shook her head at him. Snake Eyes gave him a thumb's up and then turned to Sallah.

*I think you look lovely.* She smiled at him, turning to give BeachHead another scowl.

Her voice was icy. "Thank you Snake Eyes. At least SOMEone appreciates my efforts to look nice." BeachHead glared at his friend. He got a innocent hands up gesture in reply. "Are we ready to go?" She followed Scarlett out the door.

BeachHead grabbed the ninja by a arm. "What the heck was that?" He hissed at him. "I'm trusting you here man.. you threw me under a friggin' tank!"

Snake Eyes looked through the door, making sure that the ladies were outside. Then he signed quickly at the perturbed sergeant. *If you say she's 'pretty', she becomes MORE infatuated with you. 'Cute' means you see her as a good kid.* He paused. *Kid. Not eligible young woman.*

Beach puffed out a breath. "Isn't there some way to discourage her that doesn't make her think I'm a huge jerk?" He watched the ninja's shoulders jerk in silent laughter as he put on his sunglasses. He shook his head and motioned at the door. "Great.. this 'stress relief' trip is killing me. Psyche-Out should have given me training before shipping me out with you guys."

* * * *

End chapter:

Hey... another QUIZ!!!

Who can tell why Snakes said "Tuesday. I hate tuesday mornings."?

If enough people can guess the answer, the last and FINAL chapter of the "New First Date" gets posted. Normally Lil Beachie would get to have his say.. but he got so irate over the plot bunny I wrote that he ended up in time out, and thus didn't get his bit written. That muffled cursing you hear is him under a coffeecup. If he behaves, he'll get to say his bit next chapter!


	12. Chapter 12: Shopping trauma

Chap 12

Finally! The shopping trip, although it should probably have a disclaimer as a torture fic... I'm certain I could have done 10K words on a shopping trip alone, I had to just stop finally, before poor BeachHead had a stroke.

Thank you to everyone who tried answering the Quiz last chapter! There were a few folks who got it right! The correct answer was from issue #155 of the original Marvel comics, where Snake Eyes says "I still wake up in a cold sweat on tuesday mornings. Tuesdays was 'debriding day' at the Army hospital burn unit where I recovered." For those that don't know, 'debriding' is the procedure where a doctor scrubs the dead skin off burned tissue, and it's extremely painful and nasty. Poor Snake Eyes, he couldn't even scream.

So now you know.. and knowing is half the battle. Also, this means the third and final chapter of "New First Date" will be posted as a PrizeFic for enough people answering correctly! Thank you to all those superfans who know their trivia!

And now.. on to this fic! As always, thank you for reading!

* * * *

The ride to the store was awkward. Snake Eyes did take pity on his fellow soldier, and let Sallah ride in the front seat with Scarlett, with him sitting in back with BeachHead. They walked into a large department store, following the two women who immediately began fingering clothing and chatting. Snake Eyes stuck close by the sergeant who looked at clothing with a high level of disinterest. He figured it couldn't take long, and Scarlett would pick up things and they could leave.

Snake Eyes checked the label on a long-sleeved shirt and pushed it back into place. He looked up to see BeachHead staring at him and raised a hand in query.

The Ranger tilted his head. "Are you... shopping?" Snake Eyes felt his lip quirk upwards. "Not that you can't shop.. but.. you know.."

Shaking his head and shifting his body to cover his signs from the apparently oblivious Scarlett a few racks over, Snake Eyes sighed at him. *I have to have clothes or Scarlett will pick out things for me. Besides.. I want a new sweater. You should find a sweater, because Scarlett is wonderful at fashion but terrible at sweaters.*

BeachHead looked over at her. "Well.. okay.. if you say so. I dunno nuthin' about all this. I'm happy wearing Army issue." He followed the commando off to the side to look at a rack of sweaters. That's to say, BeachHead glanced at the rack, while Snake Eyes flipped through them, feeling various materials and pulling a few out to look at closer. "Is it hard? You know.. wondering what you're gonna wear? Or.. or buying a bunch of different things, having to wonder what looks right?"

He was given a exasperated stare. *You're not that bad. Here, would this fit?* BeachHead held the soft brown sweater up to himself and nodded. *Tell Scarlett you like that.*

The sergeant sighed but took the crew-neck sweater and looked at it again. It was brown.. with some marks of dark brown and black. He supposed it looked fine. To think, he'd believed he just needed to deal with Scarlett shopping for him, he'd never have thought it would be Scarlett, a teenaged girl, and a ninja with a taste for fashion.

Scarlett's voice called to him. "BeachHead.. commere.." He sighed and wandered over to the two ladies and Scarlett held up a shirt to his chest. He dutifully looked at it. "Hmm.. blue is nice on him." She held up a second shirt which was also blue. "Sallah.. which do you think?" The younger O'Hara hummed softly, holding another shirt in red. "I think red is out of the question."

Sallah clucked her tongue. "I think you're right. Burnt orange?" Both ladies hummed at him and he fidgeted. "Be still." He stood obediently as ordered.. by a teen girl no bigger than his left leg. He looked over at the ninja who wandered nearby, never quite out of eyesight of the two women. Sallah looked up at him thoughtfully. "I know you like your army green.. how about a nicer green?"

He looked down at her. "What's wrong with olive drab?"

Sallah pursed her lips at him, looking annoyed. "It's got the issue right in the name. 'Drab'. You don't like 'drab', you like nice colors." He sighed at her and she sighed right back in perfect imitation. "You'll look wonderful in nice warm colors, not 'drab'." The red shirt went away and she lifted two green ones up to show Scarlett.

Scarlett hummed at those. BeachHead stood there, and wondered if humming was a intrinsic part of shopping or if it was only used specially when shopping for him. She picked the darker green one and held it up to him. "This goes well with his color.. I still say the blue is better. Especially the soft sapphire.. besides.. nearly everything he owns is green already, I'm hoping to break him from green."

BeachHead protested. "First, don't use words like 'break him', it makes me nervous.. and second, I like O.D. Besides, I have a dress uniform."

Scarlett gave him a look, but agreed reluctantly. "You do look good when you're dressed out. But this will be for off-duty, and not when you want to put on the full dress uniform. Who knows.. you might want to actually go have a drink or dinner off the base some time." He snorted, and she smiled to herself. "Stranger things have happened. If it helps, think of this as clothing for you to use if you need to go undercover."

He snorted again. "I'm never picked to go undercover."

She grinned and turned to pick out a couple more shirts. "That's because you can't pretend to be anything but an Army drill sergeant. It's hard to blend in when you bark orders and can't slouch to save your skin."

He'd like to protest but knew she was telling the truth, so he sighed and turned to see Snake Eyes bringing them more clothing. Scarlett took his items, and tutted over them. She handed half a dozen things back to him, and sent him off with more instructions. Beachhead began to suspect that Snake Eyes might just not despise shopping as much as he claimed.

The ninja had brought her long-sleeved button-up shirts, in several colors, some with stripes even. Scarlett held up a pin-striped one and he made a face at her. "No? I didn't think you'd go for stripes.. we'll stick to baby steps. Here.. this is really nice.. light blue really does suit you. Grey isn't nearly as nice."

He took a deeper breath and tried really hard to look at the colors. "I like that one." He pointed at another sweater that WAS gray.. although it had small markings in various shades of blue. Scarlett narrowed her eyes and looked critically at it, and held it up to his chest. "It looks good to me, I want to get it." She raised an eyebrow at him. "What? I get to choose you know.. I'm the one wearing these things, supposedly."

She smiled at him in that placid way that told him she had a completely different plan than she presented on the surface. "Of course you do. If you like this sweater, I'll put it aside for you." The sweater went to one side, and he felt rather pleased with himself. "You do realize, you're not done shopping just because you picked out a sweater. Right?" He felt a lot less pleased.

Scarlett suddenly took his sleeve and tugged him along behind her. "Come along.. I think we'll find you some nice polos."

He shrugged. "Okay." He stood while she checked labels.

"Beach, what size are you.. oh, never mind.." She held up a shirt to his chest while he peered down at it.

He made a face at the shirt. "It's yellow.. " She shushed him and held a second one up instead. "But I don't like yellow. It's too bright."

"Hush.. I'm just checking for size.. yellow would look terrible on you." Sallah came up to offer a brown shirt. "Oh now.. this is nice.. cappuccino really brings out the highlights in your hair.."

He shook his head. "I don't like cappuccino, I like regular coffee." She gave him one of 'those' looks that said he needed to shut the heck up, so he shut up.

Sallah tilted her head. "I think chocolate would look good too, I'll go get one."

BeachHead watched her walk away to chat at Snake Eyes. The ninja leaned down to listen and wandered off with her. "Look at that commando, off happy to be shopping with a teen-aged girl. I think I'm scarred for life knowing that about him. Will this take long? Can't you just.. pick something out?" She gazed at him.

Sighing, she handed him a few shirts to carry. "Beach.. love you man. Really. But if I'm going to help you buy clothes.. civilian clothing.. then I want you to look your best. I bet if you go out dressed nice, you'd be a real lady killer."

He blushed and reached up to rub his nose. "Stop. Don't lie just to flatter me into letting you dress me up." She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not exactly handsome, no matter how nice the clothes, ladies ain't gonna be interested in me."

She stepped up closer. "Don't be ridiculous, you're very good looking. Besides.. CoverGirl thinks you're quite handsome." He blinked at her. "She tells me all about every one of your good points." He blushed darker. "Of course, she also rails about how pig-headed you are.. but we all know that part too."

"Very funny." He shifted uncomfortably. "You think she.. I mean, if I.. never mind." He saw her smile as she turned to pick through a rack of pants.

"What's your waist size?" He sighed heavily and was handed a few pairs of light tan pants. Today was going to be a long day, he could tell.

* * * *

Having finally convinced the grumpy sergeant to try on clothes, Scarlett waited patiently outside the dressing room. Snake Eyes stood next to her chair, and Sallah leaned up against the other side. Snake Eyes had finally told him that he was going to end up doing what Scarlett and Sallah wanted anyway, so he could save face and just go do it to begin with. Now they waited for him to emerge.

"I don't like it." BeachHead's voice sounded annoyed.

Scarlett spoke firmly. "Come out and show me."

"But I don't like it."

She closed her eyes and counted to ten. "Come out and show me what you don't like."

He walked out and she smiled. Soft medium blue polo shirt and tan khaki pants with a neat crease down the front of each leg.. on a very uncomfortable Army sergeant.

"You look great." She watched him put his hands into the pockets and pull them back out. She turned to Sallah. "You think the darker blue? And the cappuccino too."

Snake Eyes clapped his hands a few times and gave him a thumb's up. *You look good.*

BeachHead ducked his head and shifted back and forth. "Yeah? Feels weird." He reached up to fiddle with the sleeve. "You sure it don't look stupid? I ain't used to short sleeves like these.. feels different than rolling up my regular ones. I think it don't fit right."

Sallah was smiling widely at him. "Polo shirts show off your arms really nicely. This style really looks great on you." She looked him over. "I think the dark blue pants will look nice too. Maybe with a really light gray button up?" Scarlett agreed and sent Snake Eyes off to retrieve a few possible shirts.

"Try the green shirt, BeachHead.. you like green. Oh!! But the dark green, not the light green, the light will go with those black slacks." He sighed and went back in to change.

* * * *

"But I don't need fifty different shirts. In fact I don't 'need' any of these. I'm never gonna wear them." The aggrieved tone made Snake Eyes look over from a few feet away. The sergeant was standing still while Sallah glared at him.

"You will wear them. You don't wear them now, because you don't OWN any of it. Once you have a decent wardrobe, you'll find lots of times to wear real clothes, you just wait."

He grumbled back at her. "Yeah.. because a nice blue polo will look great after I drag it through a mudpit an' under some razor wire.."

Snake Eyes moved out of range at that point.

* * * *

BeachHead was standing in a different outfit, while Scarlett tugged the sleeves lightly, and straightened the pants legs. "Does it look okay? I mean.. you keep saying it does.."

Scarlett nodded and fingered her chin, thinking and gazing at him. "Yes yes.. I'm just wondering if we should look into some tailoring to take in the waists on the dress shirts. It's just that I think the shirt is slightly too large, but with your chest measurements.. smaller will be snug, and you have large wrists, and the cuffs will be tight if I go down a size. How bothersome would that be?" He blinked at her.

Finally he pointed at his face. "Umm.. this is my best 'blank look' I'm showin' ya here. Is it working? 'Cause I didn't understand anything after the 'yes, yes' part."

* * * *

The Army Ranger stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself while Scarlett stood next to him. She smiled at his reflection. "Look, see how neat and handsome you look in a good fitted polo shirt? You look like a guy in great shape, all fit and trim. And the slacks really tuck your profile in nicely, so it accents your chest."

He got a hint of a smile and turned to flex an arm in the mirror, looking at her wickedly. "I like how it shows off my muscles. Look at them pipes."

She sighed at him and then turned at the light-hearted laugh from behind them. A slender woman of about twenty-five smiled slyly at BeachHead who colored up in a embarrassed blush.

"Oh.. he is yummy looking.. you should SOO get those slacks, they show off that tight butt so very very nicely." She strutted away while Scarlett tried to hide her laughter. BeachHead retreated to the changing room to hide.

Scarlett finally walked over and knocked. "It's okay Beach.. she's gone. It's safe."

He sounded traumatized. "Nooo.. I'm never ever coming out again. I wanna go back to the Pit."

* * * *

Snake Eyes blinked and shook himself slightly. He was bored now, there was only so long he could stay interested in shopping for clothing. Even entertaining shopping for reluctant friends who were easily bullied by young girls. BeachHead was beyond bored, reaching into the 'annoyed' stage now. He was surprised he'd lasted so long.

Scarlett stepped over to him, and stroked a hand down his arm. "Hey.. getting tired of being out?" He shrugged. "I think we're about done, we've gotten a decent selection of clothing. Although I think I've been really really good. I've been restraining myself from pointing out that he calls CoverGirl 'barbiedoll' all the time, and this is definitely turning him into a classic 'ken doll'. I don't think he'd appreciate the irony."

Snake Eyes began to cough with laughter. *I think you're wise to restrain yourself.*

They turned as Sallah's voice raised slightly. "BeachHead! There's nothing wrong with civilian clothes!" Snake Eyes sighed at the sight of the little fifteen year old girl facing down the fierce sergeant major. "It's not the end of the world to wear something other than a uniform."

BeachHead scowled at her. "Ain't nothin' wrong with a uniform. I worked hard to be able to wear my uniform."

She put her hands on her hips. "And that's mighty fine, but you can wear these when you're on leave. Snake Eyes doesn't wear a uniform all the time."

He snorted and looked over at the ninja. "Yeah, well.. Snakes don't wear a uniform unless he's forced into it anyway. He's not a Airborne Ranger sergeant major, he's a ninja commando, and he don't follow none of the danged rules as don't suit him no-how."

Snake Eyes turned aside to sign at Scarlett. *His accent gets worse when he gets anxious.*

She grinned. "Yeah, the opposite of Gung Ho. Maybe we should bring Gung Ho too next time."

Snake Eyes shook his head, removing his sunglasses briefly to rub at one eye before replacing them. *Gung Ho goes to visit his family, you won't get him to give up his family leave time.*

Scarlett stood on tiptoe to peer around his mirrored sunglasses. "You keep rubbing your eye.. you okay?" He sighed at her. "The mask itching?" He nodded but shrugged at her. "It won't be much longer. I think Beach is about shopped out." They walked over to join the other two. "Okay.. I think we've got enough things for today."

BeachHead heaved a sigh of relief. "Good.. so I can go change back.."

Sallah immediately protested. "No, no! You can wear what you have on.. they'll just pull the tags." She ducked into the changing room and he yelped at her to stop. "Oh no.. I have your fatigues.. oh.. here's your knives.." He gathered up the couple blades he'd removed and tucked them back into place. "Okay then, let's go check out."

Scarlett fell in beside the sergeant as they moved towards the front of the store. "Stop fidgeting. You look great." She lowered her voice. "If you need help paying.. "

He snorted at her. "No. I got it." She gave him a glance. "What? What do you think happens to my pay? I don't spend it on much. One day I'll either get killed or retire. If it's retiring, I gotta have money right? Of course, if I get killed, I won't care about having money."

She took a deeper breath. "You're so morbid." He glanced at her. "What? Talking about getting killed.. some times I just almost think you're a regular guy, then you just come out with something off the wall."

He stopped walking and turned to her, speaking softly. "Look, I ain't never tried to be a regular guy. I'm a soldier, and that's what I am. I got no problem knowing that I'll probably end up buried, and I jus' hope I do well enough to end up in Arlington, rather than back in some dirt lot in Alabama. I'm sorry if that bothers ya. I never tried to fool no one as to me bein' a good guy to hang out with. I tried to tell ya."

Scarlett reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. "Beach.. I know that's who you are. You're the best soldier we have, and yes, I'm including my ninja in that group. He's a better fighter, but you're the best soldier. I know you live for the Army. But you have a lot more to offer, cause you are a good guy." She tucked an arm under his. "I like hanging out with you."

He looked down into her green eyes. "Great.. so you aren't ready to ship me back to the Pit on a bus yet?" She wrinkled her nose at him. "I didn't really think so. Could you at least get your underage sister to stop trying to flirt with me?"

She took a deep breath. "I can try, but she won't give up unless you convince her, she's just young." He grunted at her. "I know, I know. I should have seen this coming. She did the same thing to poor Snakes when he first came to visit. She was only ten then, and I figured she would have outgrown it by now. But hey, I didn't take into account your great handsomeness."

He rolled his eyes and pulled away from her. "Right. 'Cause women always want guys with crooked noses and scars."

She smiled at him. "Don't forget the messy hair and the bad-boy attitude." He sighed at her quip and stood in line patiently behind Sallah and Snake Eyes.

* * * *

End chapter:

I hope that you enjoyed that, at least more than Beach enjoyed it.. I'm trying to write a lot every day to keep up with the posting. I hope it's still coming out well.

And because I promised he could have a moment, here's Lil Beachie again.

**

Yeah right! Yew jus' let me outa that coffeemug ten minutes ago! How can Ah write up a note wit' only ten minutes? Drop and gimme fifty!

While she's strugglin to do a few piddley push-ups, Ah'm a gonna tell ya'll, that whole shoppin' mess? It ain't for me! Ah mean, between a trip shoppin' fer clothin' or a sharp poke in the eye with a stick, Ah'm pretty darned sure Ah'd pick the eye-pokin'.

But.. Ah gotta say.. them poloing shirts.. they do show off mah pipes, cause Ah do a LOTTA push-ups, not like this here writing type person. She's a cream puff, jus' like Lifeline!

Ah could tell ya a LOTTA other things, but Ah'm gonna go make a break fer the outside with my greenshirt army, maybe take over the front porch! We can take it! Uh-oh.. she's back.. yew readers keep reading!!

Lil'Beachie

**

Hmm.. yes.. I'm back. He's being awfully cooperative suddenly, and I keep seeing him arranging those 'greenshirts' near the doorway. I'm pretty certain he's plotting again. But while he's plotting and yelling at his toys, I can write more! Win-Win! Thanks for reading!!


	13. Chapter 13: How Not to Tie Ninjas 101

* * * *

Chap 13

Shopping is done, and BeachHead survived.. albeit a little traumatized. Now they're headed home in the car. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it, and hope you continue to enjoy!

I don't own them, don't make money writing this, and ate a killer philly cheesesteak today. So here's the fic!

* * * *

Finally in the car headed back to the O'Hara home, BeachHead fiddled with the edge of his sleeve again and Sallah slapped at his arm. "Stop it, you look nice." He looked grumpy over it but left off. "How can you wear all that Army equipment, but you fidget in a polo and slacks?"

He suddenly grinned at her. "I'm used to the Army equipment. Gimme a field pack and body armor, I'm comfy as all heck." She gave a snort of disbelief. "Really. By now I think I'm more Government Issued than my boots are."

"Well I don't see how you guys can just live where they tell you to, and do whatever they tell you to." Sallah looked out the window as Scarlett drove them home.

BeachHead thought about her words. "I dunno anything but the Army. I don't have to worry about anything, cause that's not my job. That's my commander's job.. to worry about stuff. I just do what they tell me. Easy life." Snake Eyes twisted in his seat up front to gaze at him. "What?"

*Easy.. when you aren't being shot at?*

The sergeant shrugged. "That makes it easier, you just shoot back." He glanced over at Sallah. "Sorry.. I shouldn't be talkin' about shootin' folks with a young lady present." Scarlett nodded. "I forget myself, another reason I belong in the Army.. not with decent folks."

Snake Eyes snorted loudly at that. Then he leaned forward, pointing at the cars parked around the O'Hara home. BeachHead couldn't see what he was signing to Scarlett but she suddenly laughed.

"That does look like Aunt Beth's car! I hope so! She's over early, I didn't think she'd be here until tomorrow." Sallah scooted over to peer out BeachHead's window, and he leaned back out of her way as best he could.

"Hey.. watch it, you'll end up in my lap.." She ignored him, then sat back grinning. "So.. who is 'aunt Beth'?"

Sallah shook her head. "She's the best ever! You'll love her. Everyone loves Aunt Beth, and she's the best cook ever."

Scarlett nodded as she pulled in and parking. Sallah took off as soon as the SUV came to a stop, but Scarlett took the time to help Beachhead get his bag out of the back.

"Sallah is right, you'll like Aunt Beth. She has a farm a couple of hours away, a real farm. Makes fresh churned butter from her own cows, gathers eggs from chickens.. the whole bit." Scarlett headed into the house.

Snake Eyes was waiting impatiently and fending off Buster who came out to jump at him. The huge dog leapt up at him and he pushed him down again, holding a hand out in an attempt to control his jumping. BeachHead glanced over and snapped his fingers.

"Cut that out!" Buster rushed over to jump on him and he dodged sideways slightly. "Down!" That was ineffective and the shepard leapt up again. "I said DOWN!!" Buster dropped to all fours and tilted his head. "Sit!" His haunches lowered and he quivered, trying to decide whether to obey or jump on the man. "SIT!!" He sat and wagged his tail. "GOOD dog!" The sergeant gave a scratch to his ears. "You jus' gotta yell at him to get his attention. Just like my greenshirts.."

Snake Eyes poked him in the side and pointed at the house. A few of the kids came running out, including June.

"BeachHead!! Snake Eyes!! Where were you?" "Where's your army clothes?" "Snake Eyes!!" "Are you still a army dude?" The babble threatened to overwhelm BeachHead, although Snake Eyes merely signed at them, while wading through towards the house slowly.

*Shopping. What? What?* He pretended to grab at the faces of a couple of the boys and they ducked and ran.

One of the other girls looked up at Snake Eyes' face. "Where's your mask?"

*Different mask.* He touched his cheek lightly. *Looks different.* She nodded then tried to reach up to touch his face and he turned away. *BeachHead, we should go in.*

The sergeant was attempting to answer questions and looked over. "I'd love to.. I can't move.. make them quit! Yes.. yes.. I'm dressed different, it's not a big deal, no I don't have my gun, it's locked up, yes, Snakes looks different, June, get off my leg, you guys go play with the dog or something, come on, move.. " He bent to try to pry June off his right leg, where she'd wrapped her arms around his thigh tightly. "Come on June.. turn me loose." She giggled and hugged tighter. He put an arm between her and his leg to pry and she ended up climbing his arm. "Hey hey.. no.. June! Snake Eyes!! A little help!?" He finally straightened with June clutching his neck. He frowned at the laughing commando, who had already begun to cough. "You're a pain." He twisted his head to look at June. "You're a little bitty pain. Why don't you go play with your friends?"

She hugged his neck. "I like playing with you!" He sighed and glared at the bent over Snake Eyes, kicking him in one thigh.

The ninja staggered sideways, holding up a hand. *Don't kick me.. I didn't tell her to be your girlfriend.*

June frowned at him. "You shouldn't kick your friends." He ignored her to try another boot to Snake Eyes. The sharp blow to his ear nearly stunned him as June gave him a smack.

"OW!! Dang it!" He bent over, clutching his ear. June turned loose to land on the grass and he glared at her. "Ow! That hurt! What was that for!?" She narrowed her gaze and before he could duck she had his opposite ear, and he suddenly figured out that ear twist was a family trait, not just something Scarlett had perfected. "Ow...ow.."

June's voice was firm as she looked at his face from only a foot away. "You don't kick people unless you is in the dojo."

He winced and nodded at her, bent nearly double standing in the front yard. "Okay.. I get it.. " He ignored Snake Eyes who had finally sat on the steps to shake all over with silent laughter. "I'm sorry.. I won't kick him again.. just turn loose of my ear..." She nodded seriously at him and let go. He straightened quickly and rubbed his ear. "You're a scary little girl. You know that?"

Snake Eyes signed weakly at him. *Start young karate* He scowled at him.

June peered up at him. "It's okay BeachHead. You're still my boyfriend." Then she ran off around the house. He sighed, while Snake Eyes began to cough again.

He stood there a minute. "You need some water, or are you just gonna choke to death?" He was waved at and waited until the ninja got himself under control. "You okay?" Snake Eyes nodded at him, and signed *I'm sorry* at him twice. "Aww.. it's fine. She's a spunky little thing. Not yer fault she's already been trained." He suddenly grinned. "I'd like to see the first boy in school try to bully her!"

Snake Eyes coughed one last time and stood up. *Don't even think about recruiting her.*

BeachHead sighed, the idea flashing through his mind. "Don't worry.. you think I want her seeing the stuff we see?"

He heard his name being called from inside and turned with a sigh. Scarlett appeared and beckoned at them. "Come on guys. They saved you some lunch."

BeachHead walked up the steps, reaching to tug at his sleeve again. "That's the best thing I've heard all day!"

* * * *

Inside the house, BeachHead was surprised at the hubbub. It seemed that the favorite aunt was indeed in residence. Snake Eyes closed the door behind them and was hailed immediately.

"Snake Eyes! How's that ninja doing?" An older short, almost dumpy woman rushed out and embraced Snake Eyes. "Oh, it's so good to see you again!" She looked critically at his face. "Your mask is coming loose, go get that off so you can be comfortable." He smiled at her and bent to give her a tight hug before he turned to indicate BeachHead. She gave the sergeant a warm smile and reached to take his offered hand in both of hers.

"You must be Shana and Snake Eyes' friend! Another Army boy?"

He nodded at her, noting that Snake Eyes left him behind to head upstairs. "Ahh.. yes, I'm BeachHead, you must be the infamous aunt Beth?"

She beamed at him. "Yes! What a sweet boy! You lot haven't had lunch yet, so you can just come with me.." He was drawn behind her, looking over his shoulder up the stairs for the commando. "Oh don't bother with Snake Eyes, he'll be down as soon as he changes his face."

She shooed the brothers away from the table, seating BeachHead into a chair and moving off to the counter. "You boys! Scott, I want the artichokes cleaned before tonight. Jack.. if you didn't fill the woodbox, it needs doing. Sallah darling.. go change, unless you'll be okay doing kitchen chores in your nice clothes." She turned to the sergeant watching. "BeachHead.. do you take tomatoes on your sandwich?"

He nodded, feeling very put on the spot. "Yes ma'am. That's fine." She sat a plate in front of him, and bustled away.

Seth came and sat beside him. "Isn't she great?" He blinked at him. "You look like everyone else right after they meet her. Eat your sandwich or she'll think you don't like it and offer to make you something better." The young man was up and gone, and BeachHead ate the lunch quickly. The lady breezed by and left him a glass of milk to go with his sandwich. He saw Snake Eyes come in and be given a similar sandwich, but the ninja disappeared with it, rather than eating in front of the others. He was wearing his cloth mask again.

"Was that okay? Still hungry?" Aunt Beth had approached again, wiping hands on a towel.

He nodded. "Thank you ma'am, no ma'am.. I'm fine."

Sallah came back into the kitchen in jeans and a pink shirt to smirk at him. "BeachHead got new clothes, aunt Beth! Doesn't he look handsome?"

She agreed. "Very nice. He's got such warm eyes too!" BeachHead felt himself turn red. "Oh, don't blush! You must have all sorts of ladies telling you that!"

He swallowed and stood up to take the empty plate to Seth who was washing up from lunch. "No ma'am.. I don't.. well.. there's not a lot of opportunity for talking with any ladies, I'm on duty most of the time."

She laughed and patted his arm, making him twitch. "Oh dear! You must call me Aunt Beth, everyone does. You can't be on duty all the time, surely?"

He gave a slight smile. "Most of the time. They keep me pretty busy, but I like it. The Army has been good to me."

Sallah piped up, gathering tomatoes and a knife to begin dicing them into a bowl. "BeachHead is a sergeant in the Army, and he's stationed with Scarlett and Snake Eyes. He's a drill instructor, and he thinks he's really mean."

He corrected her absently. "Sergeant Major.. and everyone thinks I'm mean."

Aunt Beth tilted her head. "So, you have higher rank than Shana or Snake Eyes?"

He twisted his lips and thought about how to best explain that. "Sort of, but it's not quite that easy. Our.. hmm.. our group is a specialty group. Technically I'm higher in rank, and a lot of the time, I'm in the command line, while neither Scarlett nor Snake Eyes is. So most times I'm ranking over them. But they have some special standing.. let's say, so sometimes they have rank over me.. and of course, it's all up to the commander to say who is in charge when, where and over who." He smiled at them both. "Most of the time, we work together very well, and I avoid doing anything that might make Shana kick me in my head. That works out well for us."

Sallah smirked. "BeachHead is scared of Shana! I told him I could take him too! But he thinks I'm too little!" Aunt Beth sighed at her, raising an eyebrow. "I could! I've advanced an entire level since last year!"

The older woman shook her head. "You're just a child. While very talented, you're not combat trained, and BeachHead is, no doubt, experienced in actual combat." She turned to him. "I'm basing my guess on the scars on your arms."

He reached to brush a hand over his arm, tugging the edge of the short sleeve again. "Yes ma'am... Aunt Beth. I've seen a lot of combat.. unfortunately, it's what I'm good at."

She smiled at him. "Well, the Army needs those that are good at combat also, after all, it's you that keeps us safe." He shifted uneasily, taking a deep breath. "Oh now I'm embarrassing you all over again. Snake Eyes gets all embarrassed too, you poor boys!"

BeachHead nodded... a bit confused now and falling back on his standard method of dealing with civilians. "I should go check on Snakes.. " Her smile and nod made him certain she knew it was a ploy to leave. He left anyway, seeking out the commando who was outside in the yard.

Snake Eyes was standing in the backyard with Scott and Jack, and as Beachhead wandered over, Seth came out from the kitchen. Jack grinned at his brother.

"Hey.. he said yes! Come on.. pony up!" Snake Eyes held up two fingers at him.

Seth groaned. "What? Twenty bucks? We get to search you first if it's twenty each." The ninja spread his hands in an innocent gesture. "Oh no.. none of that whole 'trust me' routine." Finally he nodded.

BeachHead looked at them. "What the heck is goin' on?" Sean looked around, counting out the money.

Jack nudged him. "Shana isn't around.. right?" BeachHead shrugged. "So anyway.. we have this ongoing bet.. Snakes lets us tie him up, see if our tying is better than his escaping. This year.. we got him for sure. You want in?"

The sergeant laughed out loud before he caught himself. "Sorry.. no way. Can I get in on Snake's side?" The brothers laughed at him, thinking he was joking.

Snake Eyes shrugged elaborately then jerked his chin towards the dojo. They trailed after him and BeachHead followed, completely bemused by the idea. Once inside, the ninja walked to a smaller meditation room.

*Do your best.*

Sean shook his head. "We get to search first." The ninja raised his arms, inviting a search of his person. Sean patted him down, removing several knives, two handguns, a length of what appeared to be piano wire, several small darts, a dozen throwing stars and one short sword somehow secreted on his back. "Geez man.. how do you hide so much with slacks and a sweater?"

The ninja grinned at him under the mask and signed before dropping into a classic martial ready stance. *N.i.n.j.a.* The brothers laughed at him.

Seth held up two lengths of thin rope. "Silk.. so it's strong.. you won't break this!" BeachHead smirked to himself. He watched them truss the commando's wrists behind his back, running loops around his chest, up to his neck, and then getting him to sit in a chair that Jack brought in, they roped him to it with the second line. Then Sean went over all the knots while Snake Eyes sat patiently.

Sean nodded. "Okay. I'm satisfied. You're not getting out this time." Snake Eyes jerked his chin towards the door. "Time starts as soon as we shut the door.. " They filed out, BeachHead walking out with them, shaking his head. Once everyone was out, Sean held up the stopwatch and showed it to Snake Eyes. "Ready? Go!" He snapped the door shut, and clicked the timer.

Jack pressed his ear against the door. "I don't hear anything. I know he can't get out of that. No way."

Sean gave BeachHead a nudge. "What do you think?"

BeachHead shook his head then nodded towards the door. "I think he's loose." On cue, the door opened up and Snake Eyes handed the tangle of ropes to Jack and held his palm out to Sean. "Told you.. I wouldn't put any amount of money on any of you managing to restrain him.. unless you maybe got a hold of some anesthetic gas.. and then it's just until that wears off... nah. I wouldn't bet."

Jack looked extremely disappointed. "Well, how would YOU restrain him?" The drill instructor grinned at him. "What?"

"If I wanted to forcibly restrain Snake Eyes.. I'd ask Scarlett to do it for me." Jack grinned widely. "Of course, she might kick me in the head if I asked her to do it, so I wouldn't ask her." He tilted his head and thought about it. "Why'd you choose silk cord?"

Jack snorted at him. "Because silk is stronger than steel, weight for weight."

BeachHead took one of the cords and tied it into a loop. "Yeah.. strong.. but..." He tugged and twisted the knot and it un-did itself. "It's lousy for tying knots that stay in." He handed it back. "For a really good tight knot, there's this kevlar line.."

Snake Eyes motioned to him, finishing tucking his weapons back into place. *Don't help them.*

"Why not, Snakes? It'll keep you on your toes." The ninja rolled his eyes. "Can't have you getting lazy and soft."

"The Silent Master is never quite lazy..." The stilted drawl made BeachHead whirl around, drawing a handgun and dropping to a combat crouch. "Now now.." The white clad ninja wagged a finger at him. ".. let's play nice, shall we?"

* * * *

End Chapter

Oh.. I know SOMEONE is squeeling with glee right now. AND it's a cliffie!! Oh noes! Who is that strange person?


	14. Chapter 14: StormShadow

Chap 14

Sorry about the delay, had to go out of town. Sounds like there's a lot of Storm Shadow fans, and I will be using him in later fics! Promise!

Usual disclaimers, and thanks for reviews, thanks for reading!

On to the fic!

* * * *

Snake Eyes slid in front of the brothers, short sword out and a handful of short throwing knives in his free hand. He slowly lifted his weapons into a ready position. Storm Shadow folded his arms casually.

"Is that any way to greet your brother?"

BeachHead held his gun trained on the ninja carefully. He spoke over his shoulder without taking his eyes off the figure. "You boys leave.. right now.. get out." He heard Sean begin to protest and snapped at them. "OUT! Now!" They backed up and he yelled. "Get OUT!" Sean herded the other three out, and BeachHead could breathe easier. "Alright.. you can put your hands on your head, Storm Shadow.. if you so much as twitch wrong, I'll put a hole through your danged head.. you test me if you think I won't."

The ninja gave him a smirk and reached up to tug his mask down. "If you really think you can put a bullet in me, pull the trigger... go on.." BeachHead tightened his jaw.. but Snake Eyes slipped closer and waved his hand slightly. "That's right brother.. tell your dog to heel.." Snake Eyes flipped a throwing knife at the white figure almost casually. The other caught it without much effort. "Testy.. are we?"

The mute signed to him. *You should not have come here.*

Storm Shadow lifted his hands. "I came to the dojo. If I wanted you to feel threatened... I would have suddenly appeared in the bedroom you're sharing with your redhaired witch." Another throwing knife flipped through the air, much less casually this time. It was caught as well. "You are SO grumpy. Aren't you eating enough? I only want to talk.."

BeachHead growled. "Snakes move.. I got eight chances to hit him.. and a extra clip if you can keep him off me long enough for me to reload.." The masked ninja held up a hand to stop him.

He faced his adversary and lowered his blade. *Talk.. *

Storm Shadow nodded at the sergeant major standing behind him. "And him? Will you have him hear everything I have to say? Send him out."

Snake Eyes twisted to look at the man still crouched with his weapon ready to fire. *He won't leave. Talk."

"Very well.. I wish to inform you, I'm no longer in the employ of Cobra. I wish to call off our on-going feud. I want to balance my soul, to seek peace. And I cannot do that with you hunting me.."

BeachHead snorted. "Real likely. You'll go off an' contemplate your navel and all will be right in the world.. right."

StormShadow waved a hand at him, looking at his fellow ninja. "See? This sort of nonsense is why I didn't want him here."

Snake Eyes rolled his eyes. *You just don't like anyone interrupting your dramatic moments. Tell me why I should believe that you're not working for Cobra."

Sighing, Storm Shadow gave a glare at the two of them. "What assurance do you want? I have my reasons, and I give my word to you that I am not working for them. I only have a few minutes before your witch's brothers bring in help." He slipped up his sleeve exposing the tattoo he shared with Snake Eyes. "I swear to you by my Arashikage blood in my veins. I'm not hunting you, and I want you to leave off hunting me. You can fight Cobra all you like.. it will have nothing to do with me."

Snake Eyes shifted his weight back. *Cobra will not let you leave.*

StormShadow smiled, a mirthless smile that made BeachHead want to back up. The ninja gave a small casual shrug. "They weren't able to stop me. I have to restructure my life, begin anew. I've put aside my Arashikage training for too long, and I shall go back to the beginning. Cobra might try to hunt me down, but I don't need you doing the same thing. We were brothers once, and I would call upon that old bond, to ask that you leave me in peace."

He stepped backwards. "I have to go. Those young nuisances will be back within moments."

BeachHead spoke up, watching him step backwards slowly. "You hold it right danged there.. you ain't leaving.." He was treated to a smirk and Storm Shadow lifted the mask into place. "Don't do it.. I'm warning you.." There was a brilliant flash and he lifted a hand trying to shield his eyes too late. "DANG IT!" By the time he could blink the tears free, the dojo was empty. Snake Eyes stood silently, looking at the floor. "He's gone.. dang you sneaking ninjas.. I hate it when you do these stupid disappearing tricks."

Snake Eyes turned to him and gave a slight smile. *Sorry.. it's just a ninja thing. We can't help it.* He suddenly narrowed his eyes at the sergeant major. *I thought you locked up all your guns.*

BeachHead jumped guiltily and tucked the .45 back into the small of his back. "Yeah well.. "

The door burst open with Scarlett lunging in, weapon at the ready. Snake Eyes held up both hands at her. Then he put them on top of his head. BeachHead snorted before he could completely stifle the laugh and turned to her.

"He's gone already."

Scarlett cursed. Then she jerked her chin at her boyfriend who still had his hands on his head. He dropped to his knees, and she narrowed her eyes. "Very funny." She lowered the crossbow and slipped the bolt free. "Stop it, this was serious, what was he doing here?" She turned to the door where the brothers had just come in, armed with various handguns. "It's fine, the guy is gone. Go tell Da that it's all fine." She walked up to where Snake Eyes knelt and reached to hug his head into her hip. "You're being ridiculous, although I should shoot you for being flip about this." He wrapped his arms around her thighs to return the embrace. Then he moved fluidly to his feet.

BeachHead suddenly narrowed his eyes at Scott who was looking confused. "Is that my .40?"

Scott looked down and tried tucking it behind him guiltily. "It was the closest weapon." Beach stalked over and held out a hand. "I was in a hurry, and it was sitting there with a loaded clip..." He gave the handgun over.

BeachHead checked it, and dropped the clip out, racking the slide to eject the last round, catching it and tucking it into a pocket. Then he handed the gun back. "Go put it up. Next time, take the safety off it before you get inside the door. I saw you flick it off four feet after you came in. Dumb move."

Scott managed to look sheepish. "Yeah.. well, I'm not normally rushing around ready to shoot people. Who was that?" BeachHead pointed at the door. "Look, the guy was in OUR dojo!"

The sergeant major turned on him and snapped sharply. "Out! Yer sister will tell ya what ya're allowed to know later! Go put mah gun up!" The younger man jumped and rushed out quickly, leaving the three soldiers alone in the dojo. "Alright.. Scarlett, yer the one that's gotta figure out how much to tell yer family. The boys are gonna know StormShadow knew Snakes.. we're gonna have to contact the Pit, let them know what's up."

Suddenly there was a crash as the dojo door flew open and a body came flying in, tumbling across the floor and lifting into a fighting crouch. BeachHead had his gun out and aiming, while Snake Eyes was already across the floor, intercepting and pinning the figure with a swipe and scoop too fast to follow. The loud thud of the man hitting the floor was nearly drowned out by the squawk of startlement.

"It's me Master!!" Snake Eyes lifted the young man by his gi front and shook him hard.

"Storm Shadow!! He's in the area!!"

The ninja tossed him to the floor, where he rolled and came up to his feet. "I'm sorry! I know he's in the area.. I thought he was here!"

Scarlett shook her head. "He was, now he's gone. What are you doing lurking around here in the first place? This is NOT ninja central."

Kamakura gave her a short bow. "I was tracking suspicious movements, and discovered Storm Shadow had been lurking around, and moving in with a purpose, headed here. So I.. uhh... came here."

Snake Eyes stood with his arms crossed, looking angry. Finally he turned to his apprentice. *Go back Pit, tell Hawk, StormShadow no threat now.*

BeachHead protested. "What?! Are you nuts? I mean more nuts than your normal ninja insanity? You're just gonna believe that guy!?"

The mute commando turned to him. *Leave it.* He flicked a hand at Kamakura, who gave another short bow and left quickly. *BeachHead, I know StormShadow. But..* He paused. *But I will be alert to any tricks.*

The sergeant looked unhappy. "I'm still calling in." He stalked off to get his communicator. Scarlett was still scowling at the ninja when he turned to her.

She gestured towards the door. "So now you're just gonna trust StormShadow isn't lying to you? After everything he's done, and all the times he's tried to kill you?" Snake Eyes spread his hands. "No, it's ridiculous. BeachHead is right, it's insane to trust him to just because. I know, you have a long history.. but.."

Snake Eyes held up a hand to stop her words. *Tommy hasn't ever lied to me under the blood of Arashikage. He may do a lot of things, but he has a strict sense of honor. I think something important is happening with him. I want to know what, before I assume he is lying and try to kill him.*

Scarlett gazed at him. "And while you decide, you want the rest of the Joe team to risk everything.." She shook her head. "I know that the two of you are the last of your clan. But Hawk should get to decide, not you." She walked out to find BeachHead, and add her report to his.

Snake Eyes stood still, gazing blankly at the floor. Were they right? Was he blind when it came to his former sword-brother's trustworthiness? He took a deep breath to recenter himself. Looking at the spot where StormShadow had stood ever so briefly, he wondered if this time there would be a chance that they could heal the breach between them, or if it would end as a final showdown. That showdown could well end poorly for him, as he was honest in his assessment of his own abilities versus StormShadow's. They were closely matched in straight fighting ability, but his sword-brother was the better ninja, Snake Eyes normally making the difference up in his military training. It would depend on how it happened, and there was nothing to do right now, except be watchful and keep his apprentices out of ground zero when possible.

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End Chapter:

I know I know, no ninja fight. I'm also writing out a plot bunny which is turning into it's own full storyline. I'll try to write more on this too, though.


	15. Chapter 15: On the Fence

Chap 15

Thanks for continuing to read, I've been so busy writing side stories and plot bunnies, I haven't updated! Here's another chapter! I'll try to post more frequently!!

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BeachHead fumed, stalking back out to the dojo. Scarlett had his communicator now, filling in Hawk on her opinion. "Snake Eyes.. just got off with Hawk. He says he'll be putting word out on StormShadow. But he's not sending out any units after him."

The ninja nodded, sitting on the edge of the stonework back fence. He watched the sergeant major stalking back and forth and signed *I'm sorry* at him.

"I know.. not really your fault. But he was just THERE! I know.. ninja.. but when you guys do it, it's sneaky or creepy.. but when HE does it.. it's.. it's really kind of scary. I had two clips of ammo and I was just hoping I could slow him down enough for you to finish him." He suddenly stopped pacing. "Snakes.." BeachHead waited until the ninja was looking at him. "Are you sure he's not gonna come back here and hurt folks? I mean.. are YOU sure?"

The ninja nodded at him somberly. After a few seconds he began to sign. *Do you think that I value the lives of Scarlett's family so little? That I would simply trust in StormShadow without good reason?*

BeachHead nodded. "Yeah.. I guessed as much. It's just that.. it's Storm Shadow.. and he don't do nothin' but killin'."

Snake Eyes sighed. *He used to be a person. He's not a monster, he's a person who has done monstrous things. He used to steal the bacon and ham from my plate at breakfast, and let me take his eggs in retaliation. He knew I didn't like the meat as much as the eggs.. * He looked at BeachHead. *He's saved my life, and was my brother once.. before things went wrong. I can't help but still sometimes think of him. I know him better than any other person on the planet. He was not lying.*

The sergeant rocked back and forth. "Okay. It's not that I don't trust your judgment.. but.. you've shown a preference for not killin' him when you had the chance."

Snake Eyes stayed quiet on that comment. There had been times that he had tried extremely hard to kill StormShadow. He might be the most capable ninja the Joe team had ever conceived of.. but StormShadow was as good.. if not better. Today, he could have engaged him in the dojo.. around a myriad assortment of weapons, unknown quality of walls to contain them, and a large number of innocent bystanders nearby. Potentially a disaster, he'd chosen to defuse the situation, rather than risk it.

A series of shouts alerted them both to the pack of kids coming careening around to the back. They swarmed up and BeachHead jumped onto the stone fence to get away. Snake Eyes panted at him in amusement.

*Coward*

BeachHead frowned at him. "Hey! I just.. just wanted to sit on the fence."

Snakes hopped off the fence down into the pack of children. They happily mobbed him, and he swung one around at a time, making them scream in delight. For such small human beings, they made a great deal of very loud noise, and BeachHead smiled, watching them play with the ninja.

Finally the commando motioned to them, placing his hands over his eyes, and then miming looking for something. They immediately shouted about hide-and-seek. He held up both hands, flashing ten fingers five times and they shouted that he should count to one hundred. Although he made a large drama out of it, he agreed, and turned to prop his chin on the fence. The children scattered off towards the house and the ninja leaned his head to look at BeachHead.

*That should take care of most of them for a while.*

The sergeant looked out at the deserted yard. "Isn't that kinda.. mean? You know.. sending them off to hide and not lookin' fer 'em?" Snake Eyes hopped up onto the fence next to him. "You are gonna go look... right?"

*Why? Did you want to instead?*

BeachHead frowned at him. "You better go look for them kids. That's not fair, sending them off like that." Snake Eyes rolled his eyes. "You gotta be fair."

*Okay okay.. I'm just waiting for them to hide. It's not as if I can't find them very easily. I'll let them think they are hiding really well before I go seeking.* Snake Eyes suddenly dropped behind the wall, disappearing from view.

BeachHead glanced down at the hiding ninja. "What are you doing? Hey.. " He grimaced as the shadowy figure suddenly seemed to disappear. "I know you're there.. stop pretending to be a rock or whatever."

"Who are you talking to?" Scarlett sounded amused, and he jumped, twisting around so quickly he nearly fell off the wall.

"Geez woman! It's bad enough to have ninjas sneaking up on me, you gotta start doin' it too?" He pushed himself back upright, and ignored the ninja behind the wall.. if he was still there.

She shook her head. "I just saw you sitting out here, wanted to make sure you were doing okay."

He shrugged casually. "Yep. Just unwinding after our boogeyman's appearance. I know Snakes says he's telling the truth.. but it still gives me the willies."

Scarlett came over and looked up at him. "I know.. I hang out with our ninjas all the time, and I'm not used to things like this either. But at least Snake Eyes is here, and he knows that creep better than anyone." She hopped up to sit on the stone wall next to him. "You know, I think you might, just maybe, could be enjoying yourself a little bit." He grunted at her. "Oh.. come on. Maybe it's not as bad as you thought?"

He looked over at her. "It hasn't been sheer torture.. except for the shopping. That was torture, and you are really cruel for forcing me to go through that." He glanced down at himself in his civilian clothing. "That said, thanks for at least making me look decent." He suddenly gave her a grin. "Not that I'm admitting I like 'em.. but.. they're more comfortable than a haz-mat suit."

She rolled her eyes. "Ha. Very funny. You just don't want to admit how vain you are, showing off your guns.." He flexed an arm for her. "Yeah yeah. Very nice." She reached out to squeeze his arm. "Oooooooo, so big and tough!"

He shook his head at her fluttering eyelashes. "Yer always makin' fun a' me. Haven't I been doin' jus' about everything you've asked me to?" She agreed good-naturedly. "Well, gimme some danged credit here. You've dragged me here, dumped me inta yer family, I'm dealing with all of it, and haven't even really complained."

"I know.. I know. You've been really awfully good. You've even been nice smelling, and I soooo appreciate it. I know you hate to shower more than once a month." Her grin wasn't answered.

BeachHead grunted irritably at her. "Doesn't that ever get old?"

The tall redhead shrugged. "It would, but I think this has been the cleanest I've ever seen you stay, Beach. I keep expecting you to go jump in the ditch from withdrawal."

He snorted at her. "You know what? It is old. Why don't you leave off making jokes about it?"

She smirked. "Why don't you shower more often?" She enjoyed teasing him, but this time he just seemed annoyed at her. "Aww.. come on Beach.. you know.."

He flipped a hand at her. "Whutever. I shower every danged day. I'd like to see you do what I do all day. Go run the courses after a dozen groups, and work on the range, and chase after every little chore that Flint or Duke sticks me with. See what you smell like at the end of it."

Rolling her eyes at him, she gave him a poke to his ribs. "Yeah.. like I could keep up with your PT sessions. Okaaay.. I'll quit." She gave him a nudge. "So I came out this way to see if you'd seen Snakes."

BeachHead peered over the wall again, humming. "Well.. he was here earlier.. but he went to play hide and seek with the kids."

Scarlett groaned. "Was he hiding, or seeking?"

"Seeking.. why?"

She looked towards the house. "because the last time he was a hider, we lost track of him for several hours. Gets annoying." She heaved a sigh. "I guess I could go see if any of the kids have been found yet." She suddenly shrieked loudly and fell over backwards. "Oh my GOD!! Snake EYES!! I SWEAR!! You are SO dead!!" She thrashed around a bit, getting loose from the ninja tickling at her. "Stop!! STOP STOP!! I'm gonna KILL YOU!"

Snake Eyes leapt the wall easily, and took off at a dead run, disappearing around the house before she could get up to look after him. "YOU BETTER RUN!!!" She glared at BeachHead who tried to wipe the grin off his face. "What are you laughing at?" He pointed at her. "Shut it, Ranger." She climbed the wall and ran off around the house in pursuit.

BeachHead shook his head and slid off the wall to head to the house. "This civilian stuff blows."

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END Chapter

A longer more introspective chapter of BeachHead having a talk with Aunt Beth coming up next!


	16. Chapter 16: Potatoes on the Porch

Chap 16

Thanks for being so patient! Trying to keep up with life, and my vehicle just blew up, so it's been stressful.

Here's a long chapter, a lot of BeachHead chatting with people, Snake Eyes playing with kids, and homey downtime. Next chapter should be Trivial Pursuit night at the O'Haras! AND wait for it... but.. Sioban may be making yet another appearance.. it's been too quiet lately.

Thank you for reading, and I love reviews, they focus me! I see there's been a sudden spate of GI Joe fics being posted, great stuff!

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Once inside the house, he found Paddy talking to Sean and Scarlett in the study. He left them and wandered into the kitchen. Aunt Beth seized on him immediately.

"BeachHead! Just what I need, another set of hands!" He lifted his hands up to wiggle his fingers. "Funny.. since you're an Army boy, you'll be well acquainted with one of these." She put a peeler into his hand and he groaned.

"Yes ma'am." He was suddenly looked over. "I don't mind.. really."

She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "Go change.. I don't want to have you mess up your nice clothes working in the kitchen."

He grinned at her. "I love you. I'll go change." He rushed upstairs to find his fatigues. Once changed into OD pants and a matching teeshirt, he tied his boots on and stood up. "Oh.. soooo much better."

Sauntering back down the stairs, he was met by Scarlett at the bottom. She scowled at him and he smirked back at her.

She blocked his path bodily. "What are you doing? Why did you change?"

BeachHead gave her an innocent look while sliding past her on the stairs. "What?? Oh, yeah.. these clothes, well.. Aunt Beth made me change... terrible, but hey, I can't tell her no..." He smirked and dodged her swat. "Sorry.. gotta go.." He plucked the front of his Army green teeshirt. "Look Scarlett, it's green, in a nice medium hue, goes well with mah hair and eye color.." He ducked the more earnest attempt from her, and scooted into the kitchen. "I'm back! And I'm dressed for potato peeling."

He ended up on the back steps, peeling a sackful of potatoes. Jack was already out there snapping beans, and Sallah cleaning greens. BeachHead was happy to get potatoes, he never had liked cleaning greens when he was a kid. He looked over at her shredding the

leaves with a practiced hand. She noticed him watching and smiled.

"Do you like greens?" He nodded and bent over his potatoes. "Aunt Beth uses bacon, but Scott usually uses ham." She looked at him for a minute. "You're good at peeling potatoes. Do you really have to peel tons of them in the Army?"

He gave a shrug with one shoulder. "Uhh.. sort of. KP.. umm Kitchen duty, that is, is used for punishments a lot, so if you're in trouble, you gotta go work in the kitchen. Since it's invariably one of the grunts getting into trouble, they don't know how to do a lot of cooking, but anyone with thumbs can peel potatoes, and a Army kitchen uses a lot of potatoes every day."

She nodded. "Seems to make sense. Did you have to peel a lot of potatoes?"

He blushed. "Yeah.. I peeled my share. Once they realized I had zero ability in cooking, they just handed me the peeler when I showed up. I do have the distinction of being the only recruit to actually manage to burn water in the kitchen on base." She laughed at that. "I don't mind helpin' out though. Easy enough to do."

They worked in silence for a little while. Some of the kids came through, apparently having been 'found' by Snake Eyes. BeachHead was pleased that the ninja had gone seeking after all. It seemed Scarlett hadn't managed to kill him yet. Kevin rushed up to him. "BeachHead!! BeachHead look! I brought you something!!"

He bent to peer at the five year old. "What? You brought me something?" He was given a tiny figure and held up a battered green army man. "Well look at that."

Kevin half climbed on his leg, and BeachHead absently moved the pot aside out of the way. "Yeah!! It's YOU! See!? He's named BeachHead cause he's just like you!"

The sergeant smiled at that, tilting the little figure around. "Yeah? Like me, is he?"

"Yeah! Cause he's all in green and in the army and.. and he's got all the marks like you do!"

BeachHead tilted the toy and saw tiny pock marks in it. "Looks like the dog's been chewing this poor guy." He held him next to his fatigue pants. "He's the same color, sure enough."

Kevin nodded and then poked at his arm. "Yeah! Yeah! And he's got the little marks on him, just like you gots!" He looked and saw him poking at the divot scars on his arm from where he'd been shot a few years earlier. A Cobra operative had popped up in a supposedly secured zone, and took pot shots at the command crew. BeachHead had snatched Hawk down, and ended up with four bullets hitting him instead. All of them hit nonessential areas, like his arm, his ribcage, and one that passed through his hand without hitting a single bone. His arm had ended up with neat round scars from 9mm entry and exit wounds. He blinked and held the plastic toy soldier up. "See? Hims got the same marks! But his is from Buster chewing him!"

He smiled at the battered toy. "Yeah.. you gotta take good care of your army guys." He held it out to the little boy. "Here ya go."

Kevin shook his head. "Nuh-uh. That's yours! Cause it's just like you!" The boy climbed down, and Beachhead looked at the figure again.

"Well.. thanks Kevin. I appreciate that." He tucked the toy away in a pocket.

Kevin looked at his bag of potatoes. "That's a lotta potatoers! 'Kay!" He took off running after two other boys, and BeachHead picked his peeler back up to begin working.

Sallah was trying not to seem like she was trying to look at his arm and he smiled to himself, shifting so she couldn't see. Finally he glanced at her. "What?"

She blushed. "I just.. what happened to your arm?" He looked down and twisted his mouth, thinking. "You don't have to tell me.. it's none of my business."

He shook his head and lift his forearm to tilt it around. "It depends on which scar you're referring to." She scooted closer and pointed at the divots. "I got shot."

She gasped and looked shocked. "What? Someone SHOT you?? Why?"

He shrugged. "It happens. Like your Aunt Beth mentioned, I've been in combat. That's what soldiers do sometimes. Some of us have to go to war. It's not all paperwork and shiney uniforms."

She walked her fingers to a long thin line. "What about that?"

"I think that's from climbing through razor wire too quickly. I was avoiding getting shot at, and so I sort of hurried a bit more than I should." He twisted his arm, showing off the line as it wound around under his arm. "It was a doozey, the medics fussed a lot about stitching it shut. They even made me keep it in a sling, and told everyone else to tattle on me if they caught me without the sling on. It was a big pain in my butt."

She nodded. "I bet. You don't seem like someone that likes putting up with limitations." She stroked the back of his hand. "What about this one?" He pulled his hand away from her and looked at the jagged faded scar.

"Uhh.. fell off the porch into my mom's rosebush. I was about eight." She laughed and he shrugged. "Hey, they aren't all grand war wounds. I bet Snake Eyes has a scar from falling off a swing set or something."

Jack snorted at that. "Snake Eyes has tons of scars. You seen him with his shirt off?"

BeachHead picked up a new potato to scrape at. "Yeah, I have."

Jack looked at him. "Well? How did Snake Eyes get his scars?"

BeachHead didn't look up. "Ask him. Not my place to tell tales on Snake Eyes." Jack looked disappointed. "Don't be so nosy, he places a great deal of value on his privacy." Sallah tossed her hair and started to give her brother a remark, and Beach looked at her quickly. "Don't forget, before you chastise him, you were the one asking questions.." She flushed red, but turned back to the greens rather than retort.

Jack didn't give in so easily. "Well.. then what's it like to get shot? You've been shot..." He twisted to look at his arm. "... at least 3 times?"

Beach turned his arm. "Three times in the arm, once across the ribs... this time.. but I've been hit other times. I wear a tactical vest, or I'd be riddled with bullet scars. Body armor is great stuff. The newer stuff we get to use is lighter weight, and better for stopping power." Jack raised an eyebrow. "Okay.. it hurts. You don't want to get shot. Anything else?" His slightly annoyed tone made Jack subside.

Sallah tossed the last of the stems into the smaller bucket. "Greens are done.. I'm taking them inside." She turned and put one hand on BeachHead's shoulder to brace herself to step over the sack of potatoes he was working from. He felt her squeeze his shoulder before she turned loose, and he sighed to himself. Jack finished his chore as well and disappeared into the house, leaving him by himself on the back porch.

"BeachHead?" He turned to see Aunt Beth walking out.

"Yes'm?"

"How're you coming on those potatoes? I just realized you were out here all by your lonesome." She checked and tutted. "You're almost done, I guess the Army does teach you how to peel potatoes!"

He smiled and nodded, looking back down at the tuber in his hand. "Yes ma'am. I don't mind being alone out here. Don't worry over me."

She settled on the steps next to him anyway. "I know, you're a tough old sergeant. You don't need anyone lookin' after you at all."

He smiled as he corrected her. "Sergeant Major... not that it's a big deal..." She laughed. "Okay.. it's kind of a big deal at least to me. Rank is always a big deal to us Army guys."

She nodded at him. "Okay.. I'll remember. Sergeant Major." She tilted her head. "So how is the sergeant major doing?" He shrugged without replying and she leaned to look at him closer. "You're an awfully quiet man for a drill instructor." He smiled at that. "There's a smile! I'll bet you don't smile very often."

He looked at her then. "Well, I do, but it makes the recruits nervous when I smile, it usually means I've just thought of something exceptionally evil for them to do for hours and hours." She chuffed at him. "No really... I'm pretty renowned for being evil to them."

She picked up one of the tubers and scraped it clean with a peeler she pulled from her pocket. "I don't think you would be evil."

He stopped and looked at her, then held up the half peeled potato in his hand. "I once made a recruit clean the entire barracks with a raw potato." She stared at him. "Really."

"You... how.. really??" He nodded at her and she shook her head. "Okay.. maybe you have an evil twist to your mind.. but.." She paused. "A potato?!?"

He grinned at her, and she shook her head. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. He's never acted up again really." He finished the last vegetable and tossed it into the pot. Then he sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looking at the kids who raced around in the field behind the dojo. As he watched, Snake Eyes leapt up out of the grass, tagged one of them and cart-wheeled across to a low bush to disappear again. He laughed out loud at the sight. "That ninja.. I wouldn't believe him playing with a pack of kids the way he does."

Aunt Beth looked across, a serene expression on her face. "Snake Eyes loves children. I think he comes here only to get to see the kids, I'd assume he rarely gets to be around any when he's on duty." BeachHead gave a soft snort. "He and Shana need the time here, to counter all they see and do while on duty."

He gave her a sharp look. "What do you know about what they do?"

The matron raised an eyebrow at his cautious tone. "I know that they've come here with haunted gazes, and slow movements, jumping at shadows. Paperwork and boring training sessions don't make people like Shana look like that. And.. no military that had a man with Snake Eyes' abilities would use him to file personnel forms and teach basic hand-to-hand. So when they get to come home, I do my best to ensure that they get plenty of time to relax and enjoy family, even if it's playing tag with a bunch of overenthusiastic kiddos." She suddenly turned to him with a frank gaze. "What can you tell me about the stranger in the dojo? The one that both you and Snake Eyes confronted with weapons, that Shana turned pasty white and rushed out with loaded crossbow as if the devil himself had appeared."

He looked away. "He's gone, and..." He wanted to tell her she was safe, that they wouldn't ever be at risk from such people. "Snake Eyes says he won't be back, that it's okay. That's all I can tell you. Ask Shana if you have more questions."

She turned her face to the field with rushing children and a hidden ninja. "If Snake Eyes says it's okay, then I'd trust him. Shana and you seem to be pretending it didn't happen, but I see her thinking deep thoughts. I saw her confronting Snake Eyes with lowered voice. Whoever he is.. I hope that he is gone, not only from our lives, but also from yours." She smiled suddenly as Snake Eyes burst from hiding again, rushing through a cluster of kids, sending them screeching in all directions, grabbing up one to carry as he chased the rest. "I hope you enjoy yourself here even half as much as he does."

BeachHead shook his head. "I dunno if I could." He dipped a hand into his pocket to draw out the battered toy soldier. He looked at it in the bright sunshine. "I guess.. I guess I'm enjoying it an awfully lot though."

She glanced at the plastic army man he held up. "What's that? A little Army man! What did you do to it, it's all chewed up."

He smiled absently, fingering the silly toy. "Yeah, Kevin gave it to me earlier. He said it was just like me, cause it's all beat up like I am. The danged dog chewed this one up." He turned it over in his hand a few times and his gaze went distant. "I used to have thirty-eight of these. When I was a kid I mean, you know. We didn't have a lot, growing up. But I managed to get a couple, and then I traded stuff with other boys, and eventually I got my own little army of soldiers." He sighed. "You know, since most of us in the neighborhood didn't have much, us boys took great care with what little we did have." He held up the toy to her. "I knew exactly how many I had, and what each one looked like. And we might drag 'em out to the creek, and set up battles, and put ambushes all over in the bushes... but.. but I always made sure I had each and every one, a'fore I went home. That's jus' what you did, you didn't leave your guys somewhere, go off and not carry 'em home with ya."

He closed his hand over it and looked blankly across the fields. "Now.. I got my own soldiers, and they's just the same. I take care of 'em, make 'em as best I can before the higher ups send my troops off to get shot at. I don't leave 'em behind either. But if I don't train them hard enough, don't push 'em to be the best they can be, then they might only come home in a bag. I can't stand when they don't make it, they're my boys, so I ride 'em all hard, and they hate me for it."

She rested one comforting hand on his arm, covering the scars. "I'm sure they don't really hate you."

He shook his head. "I don't mind them hatin' me. Long as they're alive to hate me, it's better than dead ones that liked me." Her hand squeezed his arm. "It's okay.. geez. I swear, I gotta get outa this place. I stay here much longer, I'll be spilling my life's story to ya'll people. Paddy was listening to me ramble on in the morning time, and now yer listening to me out here. I sound like some bleedin' heart, bleeting 'bout my danged feelings on the porch peelin' taters." He puffed a huge breath out. "Ya'll are all so danged easy to talk to.."

She nodded slowly. "You can talk to me anytime.." He shook his head. "I mean it, I know there's plenty you're not allowed to talk about.. but.. if you need someone to listen, even if it's just to complain about how your recruits don't ever listen, or the commanders, or your fellow soldiers, or even Shana and Snake Eyes.. you can call me up, or come back for a visit. Even the toughest old soldier has to vent now and again. Everyone needs a little bit of light in their life sometime."

He tilted his head at her, feeling the draw that anyone would feel towards a mother figure, and denying it fiercely with everything he had inside him. It wasn't quite paranoia, not when there was so many times when suspicions had been borne out. So instead of accepting the boon, he put it aside, to think on later, when he was alone and could consider it without influence. He jerked his chin at the house. "You wanna help me out? Get Sallah to stop flirting with me. She's been chasing me since I got here, and it's unnerving. I got no interest in young girls, not even in theory, much less practice."

Aunt Beth laughed at him, making him twist his mouth wryly. "I would help you if I could, but if you'd take a bit of advice?" He nodded eagerly. "You have two choices, because she's a very determined and very typical teen-aged girl. You can sit yourself down with her, just the two of you, and have a chat with her. Explain why you can't even consider a relationship with her, and have more excuses than just 'you're underage' to throw at her. Or.. you can accept it as a harmless infatuation, and mostly ignore it. You'll only be here a few more days, she'll practice all her charms on you, and find some other target once you leave. At worst, she'll convince herself she wants to wait for you to return, which will mean Paddy won't have to fend off boys interested in her."

He looked appalled. "I don't wanna give her the idea I want ANY sort of relationship! That'd be sorta ... well.. leading her on, and I.. well.. " He shook his head. "I don't know how to have no heart-to-heart chats with girls, it just weren't covered in Basic Training, you know? Not exactly something I'm trained for."

She continued to look amused. "Well, you serve with other women, right? Don't you have to deal with them? It can't possibly just be Shana in your unit."

He took a deep breath, trying to think in a new direction. It wasn't his strong suite, to think about personal feelings and companionship. "Well, no, we got a few female soldiers.. but you know, they're just troops, just like us guys. There's not a lot of difference in how we deal with each other."

Suddenly she narrowed her eyes. "And.. none of them are a little bit special?"

He suddenly sputtered, completely taken aback. "NO! I mean.. no.. not really. Well.. maybe.. but.. " He twisted his wrist, rubbing at the back of his hand nervously. "You wouldn't tell Sca... ahh Shana or Snakes.. right?" She shook her head. "Cause.. you know, nothin' at all happened. But.. maybe.. jus' a tiny tiny bit, one might be a little bit.. special.. sometime.. one day.. cause... well." He twisted his mouth in a sarcastic wry smile. "Well, she told someone else who told me, she thinks I'm kinda maybe someone she could think about being interested in.. possibly one day."

Beth sighed heavily. "You know.. you sound like a grade school boy being forced to go to a school dance with actual GIRLS there and everything." He suddenly laughed uneasily. "It's really okay, if someone might be special to you. Shana and Snake Eyes seem happy enough. Why don't you talk to her?"

He shook his head. "Well.. Snake Eyes and Scarlett, they are a bit of a conundrum. How would anyone separate them? If someone was dumb enough to order that crazy ninja to never see her again, he'd do something insane like... like pull out one of his own eyelashes and stab him through the head with it."

Her voice began to sound amused. "Well, perhaps.. but I notice you avoided the question about talking to this lady."

"Oh.. well, so I did." He looked away with a little smile. "I'm guessing I'll be avoiding that for the foreseeable future, ya know? Besides, how did this turn into a conversation about potential girlfriends, instead of how to get Sallah off my tail? Uhh.. so to speak, not that she's been anywhere near my tail... " He cleared his throat while Beth stifled laughter.

Snake Eyes suddenly appeared, sauntering over to the porch from the side of the house. BeachHead looked at the field where the children were searching fruitlessly for their ninja playmate. The commando casually seated himself on the steps and signed at them. *Talking about important things?*

Aunt Beth looked at the sergeant major who pushed the potatoes around in the pot of water. "We were just having a good chat. Shouldn't you be out in the field, hiding under a rock or pretending to be a leaf?"

He shrugged at her. *Taking a break. They are persistent. I wanted to be sure BeachHead was doing okay. He has this tendency to get into trouble if we leave him alone long enough.* He nudged Beach in the side. *I see you managed to change back into Army clothes.*

BeachHead held up his hands and gave him an innocent look. "I was TOLD to change by Aunt Beth!" Surprised, the ninja looked at her and she nodded. "See? You can't expect me to disobey her! See? Not my fault, nor my idea!"

Aunt Beth laughed at the ninja who tossed his hands in the air dramatically. "Well, I did tell him to change, but he couldn't very well mess up his new clothing working in the kitchen, could he? But I will say, he was quick to agree and quicker to change."

The ninja wagged a finger at his friend. *See? You get into trouble.*

BeachHead raised his eyebrows. "Trouble? Me? You want trouble?" He stood up and raised his voice to his best PT course bellow to yell out to the field. "HEY KIDS!! HE'S OVER HERE!" Before the ninja could dodge away, the sergeant major tackled him into the yard, gamely hanging on to the struggling man as he tried to get loose.

Despite his ninja abilities, despite his physical prowess and extensive training, Snake Eyes couldn't quite dislodge his friend from his grips on various limbs. He almost twisted free, only to have the stubborn man wrap himself around a knee and drag him to a stop again. The shouting pack of kids came pelting into the yard and BeachHead yelled encouragement to them.

"GET HIM!! TAKE HIM DOWN!!" The kids screamed in glee and swarmed them both. Giving up, Snake Eyes fell over, making exceptionally certain to land on BeachHead's stomach, making the air rush out of the sergeant's lungs. "Uuugh!! Get offa me!" He dug an elbow carefully into his adversary's ribs, and felt him kick at his thigh ineffectively. With kids in the way, he was pretty free to 'accidentally' pummel Beach at will. He ducked his head out of Kevin's grip and put a foot on BeachHead's left arm, pinning him down easily.

Scarlett stood on the porch with Sallah and Aunt Beth. "Well, I guess they're having great fun. I think it's a bit unfair that BeachHead ended up on the bottom of the pile that way..."

Aunt Beth was laughing too hard to reply, watching the ninja finally pry himself free of his friend's tenacious grip. He stumbled slightly as BeachHead managed to get an arm free to swipe at his ankle, almost getting a grip on the heel of his boot. Half the kids swarmed after him, and BeachHead began shouting for them to chase him.

"Get him!! Not me!! Chase the danged ninja!!" Finally Snake Eyes jumped upwards into the lower limbs of a large oak tree, dropping back out on the far side, and gaining just enough space to break into a run. The children took off after him, and the last few mobbing BeachHead broke away to follow.

The sergeant major rolled over and sat up in the grass, brushing at his head to dislodge the bits tangled in his hair. Scarlett finally sat down on the porch holding her stomach laughing hysterically at him. "Very funny.. " He got to his feet, continuing to brush grass and twigs off himself. Joining the three ladies on the porch, he sat onto the steps and heaved a sigh. Scarlett reached over to pull a twig out of his hair, and he ducked away. "What are ya doin?"

She tugged him back over and began to fingercomb his hair for him, pulling bits of grass and leaves out of it. "Oh hold still, or I'll go get a comb." He sat there allowing her to fuss over him again. Suddenly he laughed at her. "What are you laughing at?"

He snorted and coughed, trying to stop. Then he leaned back a bit, encouraging her to continue clearing debris from his hair. "I was jus' remembering a program Lifeline had on in the infirmary.. had a bunch of chimps grooming each other.." She slapped his shoulder, and he laughed again. "I thought maybe you was jus' indulgin' your inner monkeyness."

"You're such a pain." She gave him a push to move him over and he scooted down the steps a bit. Scarlett glanced aside and noted Sallah looking distinctly jealous. "Well.. that's fine.. I'll just make certain that you're not on my team tonight for trivia."

"What team?" BeachHead looked at her then at Sallah. "What trivia?" He paused. "Why am I asking questions I know I won't like the answers to?"

Scarlett smiled widely. "I don't know Beach? Self-torture?"

Sallah reached to put a hand on his arm. "That's okay BeachHead.. you can be on my team."

He sighed and met Aunt Beth's eyes. "Oh.. thanks. Appreciate that."

Snake Eyes dropped from the porch roof onto the steps quietly, heaving a sigh and flopping to sit next to Scarlett. BeachHead shook his head, picking himself up from where he'd dived aside at the sudden appearance of the commando.

"Gawd!!! STOP DOING THAT!!"

* * * *

End Chapter:

I hope you enjoyed! The toy soldier came from Lil Beachie's enjoyment of his own tiny greenshirt army(he yells at them a lot, but they don't mind). So you got some fun, and some more insight into his character too. I'll be posting a side story also very soon, but writing will be done in my spare time since I'm trying to straighten out a bunch of life's issues, trying to get a vehicle repaired, etc etc. So please don't hate me! I'm doing my best to update often!


	17. Chapter 17: Polite Discussions

Chap 17

Oh my gosh! I'm updating the vacation story! I didn't quite get to the Trivial Pursuit, but next chapter will have Sioban vs BeachHead.. round two!

Thank you for reading, and thanks for being patient! I have too many stories I'm working on at once, but I'll be doing my best to concentrate on this Vacation story as well! No quiz this time, but I'll think up one soon!

* * * *

There was a growing number of people showing up, and BeachHead was trying to move to the less crowded spots. Snake Eyes eventually sent him to the kitchen where he was put to work in a corner shredding cabbage for coleslaw the next day. Settled in with a chore to do, he relaxed a bit and listened to Aunt Beth and Scott trading quips and cooking tips.

Hearing his name, he suddenly looked up. "Sorry?"

Aunt Beth shook her head. "You were just off in the ozone there thinking deep thoughts. I was asking if you were allergic to anything? I'd hate to give you a spoonful of famous bread pudding only to find out you were highly allergic to cinnamon or something."

He grinned at her. "No ma'am, I can eat just about anything on this earth. I think I've eaten things that just plain weren't meant to be eaten." She shook her head at him. "No allergies to foods, thanks for the concerns, though."

Scott handed over mix of spices to her. "Here's the rub for the pork roast. I'll put it on tomorrow morning first thing." She took the bowl to cover it with plastic. "Other than tonight's dinner, everything is done with as far as prep."

Aunt Beth checked the bowl of shredded cabbage and took it from BeachHead. "True.. and tonight's dinner is sandwiches and salads, nothing too difficult." She gave him a nudge. "You can go change.. I'm sure that Shana would prefer you dress nicely for tonight." He made a face. "Oh go on with you! Upstairs and change, I'm sure you'll survive."

He sighed but wiped his hands and dragged his feet out of the kitchen, making certain to look terribly sullen at her to make her laugh and try to swat him with her towel. Scarlett met him on his way through and when she learned he was headed up to change, she insisted on going up to 'help' pick out clothing. He quickly learned that 'help' meant she picked it out and handed it to him. Shrugging, he just took the clothing and went to shower and change. Once clean, he toweled his hair thoroughly and attempted to comb it neatly. He did not want Scarlett fussing about his hair being messy. Somehow he couldn't make it look like Scarlett did and tried not to care. It was hair.. didn't matter. Instead he dragged on the long-sleeved shirt and sweater, tucking in the shirt tails neatly.

His holster fit neatly in the small of his back under the sweater. He had not retrieved his harness rig to wear the chest holster, but as long as he had one firearm on himself he felt dressed. Knives went into place here and there, neatly tucked into the normal places and he vaguely wondered how quickly Snake Eyes got dressed with all the weapons he invariably carried.

Rattling his way down the stairs, he was met by a beaming June. "Hullo BeachHead!" He smiled at her. "Jack gave me some peanuts and I'm gonna give some to Snake Eyes."

He tilted his head at her, walking through to the living room. "You're gonna give Snake Eyes peanuts? Why?"

She gave him a pitying look and took him by the hand. "He's a ninja. Ninjas like peanuts, didn't you KNOW that?" He blinked and took a deep breath. "Everyone knows that."

"Okay, sorry. I'll remember."

She looked him over and then motioned for him to lean down. He obliged and she straightened the collar of his shirt for him. "That's better." He stood up and sighed. It was definitely a family trait among the females of the O'Hara clan. The ability to make him feel like a little boy who was incapable of dressing himself without help. He half expected one of them to lick a napkin and wipe his face at some point.

Snake Eyes turned to him when he walked in. *You look good. Can you come talk for me to Bobby and Nancy?" BeachHead agreed readily. June darted off. He walked up and nodded to the older man.

"Evening, Snake Eyes asked me to help him talk to you. Do you understand any ASL?"

Bobby shook his head. "No.. I'm sorry, I tried to learn some but it's all wiggley fingers to me. How are you doing Snake Eyes?"

Snake Eyes signed to him, and BeachHead translated easily, having filled the position before. "I'm quite well, thank you. I understand you've branched out into classic cars in your business." The older man looked pleased and nodded. "I have a friend who is rebuilding a 64' GTO..." BeachHead trailed off then spoke up again. "Umm.. she is having trouble finding the instrument gauges and a few original parts, I wondered if you might be able to locate them?"

Bobby thought a few seconds, stroking at his gray goatee. "You know.. I think.. hmm... I know I have some 64' GTO items in.. I'm not sure about the entire instrument panel. You get me a list though, I can find anything, no matter how rare. It's not cheap though. But it'll be all original parts, no re-pros."

Snake Eyes signed again, and BeachHead translated. "I will get her to contact you."

"Ahh yeah, just have her tell me what she needs.. anyone rebuilding a 64' gets all my help I can provide.. it's the original muscle car.. sweet sweet ride." Bobby turned as his wife came up, reaching to put his arm around her waist. "Nancy, Snake Eyes knows a woman restoring a 64' GTO.. " He turned back to the ninja in his dark cloth mask. "Do you know if she's going with dual exhaust?"

Snake Eyes looked at BeachHead, signing at him. *Is she? Cars aren't my thing.*

BeachHead tried to think about the last time CoverGirl had shown off the car to him. "Uhh.. I think so.. last time I saw it, she was pulling one of the heads off.. something about she thought it was cracked.. but it was a seal or a gasket.. something.. she was pleased over whatever she'd found."

Bobby fished out a business card to hand to Snake Eyes. "Just have her give my office a ring with a list. I'm sure we can find what she needs. If she's pulling heads off, she'll be needing some gaskets and seals, and maybe even new manifold covers.. just have her call. We'll fix her up." Snake Eyes smiled and nodded, signing quickly.

BeachHead translated again. "Thank you, she'll be ecstatic, be prepared for her to ask you for a lot of things."

Bobby nodded. "No problem.. we're used to getting people asking for Mustang taillights and such, be a pleasure to work with someone on a real car." He turned to BeachHead. "You do vintage cars too?"

Beach shook his head. "Me? Naw.. I stick to guns, more likely to find me going for a run rather than under a hood. I can rig a repair if it's absolutely necessary, but I guarantee the mechanics will gripe about how I did it when they get a hold of whatever vehicle I've messed with."

Nancy gave a polite laugh. "I notice your southern accent, are you from around here?"

He'd noted her absolute lack of accent and already guessed she was from a northern state, perhaps Pennsylvania. Bobby was undoubtedly Georgian. He tried to look polite. "No ma'am. Alabama originally."

She nodded at him. "Really? What part?"

He sighed lightly. "Auburn.. it was a long time ago." She missed the attempted dismissal.

"Oh? What family are you part of? I know a couple of the Old families from Auburn." Her earnest good nature meant he couldn't quite think she was prying.. but he was starting to become uncomfortable.

His tone went rather flat. "Oh.. I don't think you'd know my family.. there was only a few of us.. we're no one special."

Snake Eyes signed easily. *We think he's special.*

Finally taking the hint Nancy tried to steer to a different topic. "I'm sure.. did you attend university in Auburn?"

He almost smiled at her failure to pick a better subject. "I didn't attend college.. I went right into the Army outa high school."

She looked embarrassed. "Oh.. I'm sorry.. "

He shrugged. "Don't be, was the best move I ever made. I wouldn't have had a ton of options, although I could have gotten a scholarship. I just never considered college. We were from the wrong side-a the tracks, ya know? Not college folks, more blue collar workers. So I been in the Army ever since, and I never regretted joinin' up, not one moment."

Snake Eyes signed at him. *The recruits might regret you joining up, but the Army should be pleased. You're one of the best soldiers there is.*

Beach ducked his head. "Thanks. I do my best."

Nancy smiled at them. "Well, I guess you've done well, since you're a sergeant and all.. and.. umm.. you umm.. train other soldiers, right?"

He controlled the smile. "Sergeant Major.. and yes, I do some training. I work with a lot of recruits, like Snake Eyes and Shana do.. we work together a lot."

Relieved that she'd finally hit on a non-sensitive area, Nancy relaxed. "That's nice. Shana is such a nice young woman, I'd hate to think she would get stuck doing something awful in the Army.. like.. oh I don't know.. driving tanks.. or shooting at people.. things like that."

BeachHead twitched slightly. "Nothin' wrong with drivin' a tank." He stopped himself from commenting further. June saved him by coming up then and wrapping his leg in a hug. "Hello June.. "

She beamed happily. "Hullo!" She turned loose and reached for Snake Eyes to pick her up and he obliged. "Hullo Snake Eyes! Are you gonna play hide an' seek again with us?" The ninja shook his head. "Awww... but you're so good at it!" He lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "Why don't you go for runs in the morning like BeachHead?"

The ninja glanced at him before he answered. *I'm on vacation.* She frowned at him. *BeachHead likes to go for runs. I prefer sleeping in.*

She looked at Nancy and Bobby. "I went on a run with BeachHead this morning!"

BeachHead had to smile at her proud tone. "Well.. she went on part of it.. then I had to carry her the rest of the way.. you keep forgetting to mention that part June."

Bobby laughed and tickled her cheek. "You ran? How far did you run?"

She tilted her chin up. "We ran for miles and miles!"

"Two miles.. then eight miles of 'carry' instead of 'run'."

She narrowed her eyes. "BeachHead gets really sweaty when he runs."

"You get really heavy when I gotta carry you."

He was treated to a scowl that would one day terrify a husband, he was certain of it. She sharpened her tone to just shy of impolite. "You're supposed to be really strong, so you should be able to carry me as far as I want."

He blinked, stymied by her logic. "Well.. I guess.."

Nancy laughed at them. "Honey, maybe you were a little too heavy for BeachHead to carry.. that's a long ways to carry someone."

He protested. "Oh no.. I regularly strap on my field pack just to run in. She don't weigh half what my pack weighs. It's just that my field pack don't choke me the whole time."

Now he saw the real scowl. She tugged at Snake Eyes arm and he put her down. Putting her hands on her hips, she stared up at him and he shifted slightly further away. "You'll see! I'll run further tomorrow morning." Her determined tone made him uncomfortable. "I'm going to go find Kevin." She walked off and he puffed out a relieved breath.

"I think I'm supposed to be jealous.. but I only feel like I escaped without injury.." Snake Eyes panted at him in laughter.

Nancy reached out towards the ninja but pulled her hand back before she touched him. "Are you okay?"

Snake Eyes nodded at her, still laughing. BeachHead looked at her. "He's laughing at me. Apparently he was June's favorite before she met me." Nancy still looked concerned and he glanced at the still pant-laughing ninja. "That's how SnakeEyes laughs.. somethin' to do with his missing vocal cords. I think he's finding entirely too many things about me being forced to take time off amusing."

Nancy raised an eyebrow, obviously confused. "Ahh yes.. well.. you'll have that sometimes." She shifted her weight and then looked at him. "I hear young Sallah is quite taken with you."

He stuttered slightly, while SnakeEyes started laughing at him all over again. "Ah..w-well.. I.. I mean.. I dunno why she's.. uhh.. I haven't encouraged.. she just.."

Nancy gave him a stern look. "You do realize.. she is entirely too young for you. She's just a girl."

He blushed deep red. "I realize that.. she however.. she thinks it's all fine. I'd love for her to lose interest in me completely, but nuthin' has worked so far."

SnakeEyes controlled himself and signed with a serious air. *All the women of the family find BeachHead irresistible. It's the hair.* BeachHead glared at him hard and he turned to walk off, shaking with his silent laughter.

"He thinks he's being funny." BeachHead sounded annoyed.

Bobby gave them a puzzled look. "Why? What did he say?"

The sergeant major shook his head. "I'd rather not repeat it, he was just joking anyway. At any rate, I'm NOT interested in Sallah.. or any of the ladies of this family, or any ladies honestly!"

Nancy suddenly turned red. "Oh.. OH!!! I'm sooo sorry!! I didn't realize... I mean.. oh my." Bobby looked from the confused Ranger to his wife twice. "Honey.. he's.. you know..."

Bobby frowned at her. "He's what?"

She lowered her voice. "He's gay... "

BeachHead choked. "Wha?? WHAT?? No.. no no... no. Just.. good GAWD woman!"

She put a hand over her mouth briefly. "I'm s-s-sorry.. do you prefer homosexual? I'm not up on the terms, I'm afraid... I don't mean to be insulting.. I didn't expect you to.. be 'that way' being in the Army.."

Bobby looked highly uncomfortable. "Ahh.. well.. the whole.. 'don't ask - don't tell' thing I'm guessing.. but.. ahh.. not that there's anything wrong with that! Ahh.. we're very... umm.. very progressive." He nodded decisively.

BeachHead put a hand on his forehead. "I'm not gay. I'm just not interested in any young girls.. I'm too busy to think about having girlfriends or.. whatever. But I'm most certainly NOT gay."

Bobby was looking anywhere but at him. "Of course.. not at all."

Nancy seemed to almost flutter. "I'm sorry.. we've made you uncomfortable... trust me, you can just be yourself.. no one will judge you."

He took a very deep breath. "I am not gay... you've misunderstood. I'm completely straight, I like women just fine, I just don't have time to mess around with all the dating stuff." She still looked doubtful. "Aww.. great." Scarlett came up, smiling at them all. "Scarlett... tell 'em I ain't gay."

The redhead looked a bit confused. "BeachHead? Umm.. no. Not that I was aware of.. something you'd like to share?"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't... don't even turn this into a joke. Not funny."

She smiled and nudged him with an elbow. "Noooo... he's not gay. Why would you think that?" Nancy and Bobby both looked at him.

BeachHead shook his head. "Don't ask.. it's making my head hurt."

* * * *

End Chapter:

Well.. conversation isn't too exciting. Can't have ninjas dropping in every chapter though! Hope you enjoyed!


	18. Chapter 18: Not so Polite Discussions

Chap 18

Yes!! Two updates in a day! Why divide them? Cause I wasn't sure I'd get the second update ready in time. Here's more conversations, including both a Sioban/BeachHead fight, and the fallout on the porch.

Hope you enjoy! Reviews are grand, but as long as folks read and enjoy, I keep posting anyway! Thank you for continuing to read my obsessive writings.

* * * *

SnakeEyes was signing carefully to Tom, discussing the merits of various martial arts in the military. *J.u.d.o. is easier for untrained recruits. We tend to teach some of several disciplines. Advanced classes for hand-to-hand can focus more on a single style.*

Tom nodded agreeably. "Yes.. and military training is different than what Paddy and his boys teach. Competition karate isn't anything like combat training. But basics are basics. Always useful."

The ninja agreed. Then he looked down at June who had brought Kevin over. *Hello June, Kevin.*

The two small children held up hands and he sighed and took the objects off their palms. *Thank you.* The giggled and ran off, and he started to tuck away the items into his pants pockets.

Tom looked curiously. "What did they give you?" He sighed again and held out a hand to show him. "Peanuts?"

SnakeEyes put them into his pocket and signed, *Long story. She thinks I like peanuts.* His cloth mask and sunglasses hid his face, but he let his body language show his amusement. *It's harmless, and I get peanuts.*

Tom had to laugh. "Sometimes I'm not sure about my daughter. She does get outlandish ideas in her head. Right now, she's convinced that your Army friend is the bee's knees. If I didn't trust your judgment, I'd be worried."

Smiling under his mask, SnakeEyes wondered if he'd hear that sort of comment from every single family member before the holiday was over. *BeachHead is completely trustworthy. If I had a daughter, I would chain her to him to keep her safe.*

Tom took a deeper breath. "Good then. He seemed like a good enough sort, just.. a bit off.. you know? He just doesn't seem to fit."

SnakeEyes looked to see where his fellow soldier was before he signed carefully. *BeachHead is a good man, but he's A.R.M.Y. He's not very sure of what to do in a civilian setting. Given a chance, he'd be a wonderful family man..* He gazed across the room at the Ranger attempting to make polite conversation. *.. I doubt he'll ever have the chance.*

The other man looked over and watched BeachHead bending slightly to listen to one of the kids tugging on his sleeve. "I don't know.. I think he's doing just fine. He can enjoy this crazy family any time, as far as I have any say. Same as you. Everyone needs some sort of family to relax around, right?"

SnakeEyes smiled under the mask. *Thank you.* His eyes searched out Shana almost automatically, locating her walking through the door into the study with Sarah and Sean. He was still on edge, watching any suspicious shadow. Outwardly, he relaxed and enjoyed company.. inwardly, every rustle, every movement was fixated on and identified. Even if he believed his one-time sword brother's word.. he had a tendency to drag along a tail of ill luck like a unwelcome comet.

Even as he turned back to Tom, he heard the slightly shrill tone of Sioban's raised voice. Wincing, he twisted to make his way over.

"Well it's good that you're in the Army! They're the only place that you'd be allowed, you illiterate ape!"

"Yeah!? Illiterate am I? Just 'cause I ain't read your own best-seller? 'How to be a harpy in 29 days?' I don't need the book, I got the shinin' example right here in fronta me!"

"Harpy?? HARPY!? How dare you call me names in my family home?! Someone of MY social standing shouldn't even have to SMELL someone like you!"

"Social standing? Funny... 'cause MAH family wouldn't treat a DAWG the way you treat SnakeEyes.. and he's practically yer brother-in-law! Even if ya don't like him personally, he's a decorated soldier, he's done more fer your danged country than you'll ever do, you useless bit of social fluff!"

Snakes struggled to move through the people in his way. Seth took his arm. "SnakeEyes.. don't.." He looked down at the young man.

"He's in the army because that's the only place for murderous psychopaths like YOU! Of course, coming from a family like yours, it's not surprising!" Her scathing tone became smug.

BeachHead stepped forward, his eyes suddenly glinting with a very very hard spark. "Whut are ya tryin' ta say 'bout mah family?" His low tone grated across SnakeEyes ears and he pushed past Seth.

Sioban drew herself up, sensing that she'd finally found a sore spot. "I'd think it was obvious. You're nothing more than poor white trash, and no amount of dressing up will ever change you from being anything but.. Poor, White, Trash."

BeachHead's growl made her take half a step backwards. SnakeEyes suddenly stepped in front of the Sergeant major. His hands held low, he shook his head slowly. He watched the twitch that made the powerful arms lift slightly. He shook his head again, moving forward slightly to make the angry man back up.

BeachHead took two full steps backwards, furious and frustrated all at once. Suddenly he turned on his heel and walked away, striding through the front door. SnakeEyes turned on Sioban.

*How dare..* He stopped signing when she deliberately turned her back on him. Her turning made her face directly to Aunt Beth who looked as if she would strike her.

"Aunt Beth! I.. "

The furious older woman put a finger up. "I don't want to hear a single word from your horrible shameful mouth. I do want you to leave this house.. right now. If you cannot keep a civil tongue to a guest under this roof, then you do not belong here! You've shamed this family for the LAST TIME!" Sioban opened her mouth and she opened her hand. "Don't! Not one word! I don't want to hear yet another insincere apology, not another excuse, not one more word. We all overlook your squabbles with SnakeEyes.. not everyone will get along in a family. But this time you've gone too far, insulting a guest for no reason other than you dislike him for his association with your sister."

She pointed to the door. "Take yourself out. And.. furthermore.. if you cannot keep a civil tongue, don't bring yourself back tomorrow. You need to think very very seriously about why you continue to disparage the military, and why you were throwing insults at a guest who's done nothing short of dedicate his entire life to protecting ungrateful people like you."

Sioban looked furious but grabbed her coat to storm out. She stomped across the front porch, slamming herself into her car and leaving. Aunt Beth followed her out onto the porch, watching her leave.

She began to turn to go back inside, and saw BeachHead standing at the end of the porch. His arms were crossed across his chest.. his face down as he stared at the worn boards he stood on. Her footsteps didn't make him look up as she approached.

"I'm so sorry.. Sioban is a very unhappy person.." He shrugged, scuffing a foot back and forth a few times. "Please.. none of us believe.."

He broke in, uncharacteristically interrupting her. "Believe what? That I'm poor white trash? That my family didn't have nothin' growin' up, that my daddy wasn't nothing more than a blue-collar worker that struggled to put food on the table?"

She sighed. "No one cares about that.. no one but poor deluded Sioban."

He snorted. "Everyone cares. We used ta look through the gates of places like this. My friends' mothers used to be the maids and cooks and nannys.. we used to tell each other tales of how you folks lived." He took a deep breath. "You know what bothers me more?"

She listened to his accent lighten. "No.. what?"

"That she talked bad about the Army.. like.. like it don't matter none. I'm used to hearin' it, don't get me wrong. We hear it all the time from civvies. But.. but I weren't expectin' it from someone here." He turned away from her. "Coming here was a mistake, I told 'em it was a bad idea."

Beth shook her head sadly. "We don't all think like she does. We've been happy to have you here, and I wish I could make you see that. Just because Sioban is the loudest voice, please don't think her's is the only voice that matters. You don't think that I believe what she said, do you?"

He lifted a shoulder dismissively. "No."

"Do you think Paddy feels that way? Sean? Amy and Tom?"

He shook his head. "No.. but.."

She spoke firmly. "The kids? Jack? Anyone?"

He puffed out an exasperated sigh. "No.. okay okay.. so everyone else is fine.. but.."

She watched him turn around and lean on the porch railing behind him. "But what? You'll let one deluded person decide how you feel about the whole family?" He looked at the porch. "If you don't listen to me.. then ask SnakeEyes.. despite him being so strange, despite his hiding of his face... we've all accepted him as a member of the family. He knows that we all accept him, despite Sioban's constant sniping at him. He's decided it's her problem, and not his. I want you to feel comfortable with the family, because I think you do enjoy being here.. maybe somewhere deeeep inside you where you don't want to admit it.." Her teasing tone made him smile a little bit. "But I think you need somewhere that you don't have to worry about your fearsome reputation, or whether you'll reveal too much of your feelings to a recruit who might use it against you, or worry that'll you have to yell at someone and hurt their feelings. And I promise to you.. on my word.. you'll never.. ever.. have to make someone clean this house with a raw potato."

He burst out with a laugh before he could stop himself. She smiled at him. "Ya know.. that's not really fair.. making me laugh when I'm doing my best ta be mad."

She reached out and patted his arm. "I never claimed to be fair." She watched him shift away slightly from her hand. "I'm sorry.. I forget not everyone likes to be touched all the time."

He shifted his weight uneasily. "It's not that I don't like it.." He looked away again. "You gotta realize.. " Sighing, he stopped. "It don't matter."

"Oh BeachHead.. it does matter. It matters to me." Her soft concern for no reason other than she cared made him look at her. A person with no hidden agenda, no reason to use the information against him, to try to manipulate him at a later date, he wouldn't ever need to see her again.. he suddenly sighed.

"Alright.. why not." He looked up at the darkening sky. "People don't touch me. Not that way. I was thinking on it the other day, watching Scarlett hugging people all over.. you know.. it's her family. She and Snakes.. they're very.. hmm.. very affectionate when they think no one is watchin'. Even on base. And on base.. there's a lotta ribbin' and a lotta close friends. People get along pretty well, and you just get close to folks when you serve with them. Except me. I gotta be the big bad drill instructor.. I'm not one of the grunts, cause I'm in the command structure.. but I ain't an officer.. so they think I ain't entitled to quite the level of respect I gotta demand of them. The officers think I'm above my station, and they tend to want to keep me pushed down to where they think I belong."

He took a very deep breath. "It ain't that I don't understand.. that's jus' how it is. But I'm the one person on the entire base that everyone can hate. I accepted that too, I didn't really care much. I had a few people I could talk to once in a while.. and that was fine. but then.. then Scarlett has to drag me off to here.. and show me how much all these folks love her.. heck.. they adore SnakeEyes too. And I never... never really missed having folks what cared enough to talk to me.. to touch me.. not until she brought me here.. and rubbed it in my face that I ain't got folks like that. Ain't no one touched me with a kind hand until I came here, just about."

Beth suddenly stepped forward and wrapped both arms around him. She could feel him tremble just once, before he relaxed a little. "Oh.. poor BeachHead.. you do have folks that care. I care.."

He cleared his throat, reaching to pat her back awkwardly. "Uh.. thanks. I wasn't asking fer no hugging to happen.. just so you know." Her arms tightened.

She turned loose and looked at him, taking his face in her hands. "Everyone needs a hug now and then. And you've built up quite a pile of missed ones." He felt himself blush and pulled away. "Anytime you need to know someone cares.. you think of old Aunt Beth, I'll be here."

He smiled to himself. "Old? You're not old? What are you.. twenty five?" She laughed at him. "You just pretend to be old so you don't have to beat all the young eligible men off yourself. But you let me know, and I'll help you beat them, cause I'm good at beating on folks."

She hugged him again, laughing at his audacity. "Now see? I knew down deep you had a sense of humor, you flatterer."

This time he hesitantly closed his arms around her. "Yeah.. it's buried deep, and it's wicked.. but I gotta sense of humor."

She turned loose and tucked her arm in his. "Come on inside.. they'll be picking teams for the traditional family pre-thanksgiving trivial pursuit game. You wouldn't want to miss that, would you BeachHead?"

He walked with her, and then bent to speak softly to her. "Wayne... my name.. it's Wayne."

She beamed at him. "Alright. Wayne. Come on inside.. the family is waiting."

* * * *

Still no quiz.. sorry! I hate to post quizzes without prizes! I hope that the last conversation didn't get too sappy. Next up is Trivial Pursuit : O'Hara style!


	19. Chapter 19: Trivial Pursuit

Chap 19

Ahhh.. another chapter. As promised, it's O'Hara family Trivial Pursuit! And then some more stuff.. you'll have to read and find out! This is a little bit of a long chapter too, so I hope you enjoy it!

Just to clarify something.. BeachHead wasn't as much ANGRY that someone thought he was gay, as he was horrified.. big difference, at least to me. Good to see everyone loves to hate Sioban! What would you expect from a woman who tried to have her own sister's plug pulled?

Thank you to all the reviewers! It always makes my day when I get reviews!

As always, thank you for reading!

* * * *

BeachHead stood watching the group playfully argue in the living room. Standing off to one side, he wasn't noticed for a few minutes. Then Jack spotted him.

"BeachHead! I get BeachHead!" The sergeant looked startled as Jack smirked at the others. "Nuh-uh! I called him first!"

Scarlett laughed. "Okay.. but no complaining if he doesn't do well."

Jack smirked. "Yeah! BeachHead probably knows all the answers, don't ya BeachHead?"

He looked puzzled. "Answers ta what? I never played this game." Jack's face fell a bit. "I can sit out.. "

"Oh no.. you have to play!!" "No!!" "Beach you gotta play!"

He was taken aback and held up his hands in surrender. "Okay.. fine.. where do I sit?" Sallah shifted over on the couch and patted the cushions next to her, and he pointed at the opposite end. "Oh.. I see a spot on the floor in front of SnakeEyes." He moved way over there, patently not looking at the young girl. "Scoot your legs outa my way, you crazy ninja.." He sank onto the floor and Jack plopped down cross-legged next to him. "So we're a team?"

Jack nodded at him. "Yep! You want me to do the rolling and moving our man around the board? I'm lousy at knowing answers, but we gotta take turns answering them anyway."

BeachHead looked at him. "You realize.. I dunno any of this." Jack began to look worried. "Unless it's military history.. then I'm yer man."

Jack groaned. "Anyone wanna switch?"

Scarlett shook a finger at her youngest brother. "No switching!" Her partner Scott nodded. "Okay.. so it's Jack and Beach, Sean and Dan, Sallah and Aunt Beth, Seth and SnakeEyes... and me with Scott." Everyone nodded, getting settled on chairs, the couch and the floor. Paddy rolled his wheelchair up to one side. "Da, your the umpire, and everyone agrees that you get final say! RIGHT?! Right Seth??"

Seth looked a bit sulky. "Yeah yeah.."

BeachHead looked around. "Wait.. how come Shana and SnakeEyes ain't a team?"

Sean gave a severe look to SnakeEyes who held up his hands in an innocent gesture. "Because SOMEONE.." He shifted his gaze to Scarlett. "Someone decided to be a little bit 'liberal' in interpreting SnakeEyes' signs. It turns out that Snakes would make a nonsense sign, and Scarlett would then claim he said the right answer. So noooow.. they can't be on the same team.. and SnakeEyes has to write down his answers now too."

BeachHead looked at his fellow soldier. "You did that? You cheated?" SnakeEyes nodded at him. "I'm proud to be in the same Army with you. Nicely done." The commando gave a mock bow from his seated position.

Aunt Beth came in with a few bowls. "Popcorn.. are we ready yet?" Seth nodded from where he'd set up the brightly colored game board on the coffeetable. "Sallah move down a little, make room for me." She handed out the bowls and seated herself next to Sallah. "Now.. who goes first?"

Paddy overrode the general mayhem by speaking louder than the rest. "Guests go first! Jack and BeachHead go first." A few groans and dramatic gestures but the die was handed over to Jack for him to roll. BeachHead leaned up to watch him roll and move the little marker.

"Aaahhhh!! Pink!!" Jack nodded and waved at Paddy.

Paddy waited a second before asking the question. "Which band produced the album 'Dark side of the moon'?"

Jack smirked at everyone. "I got this one Beach! Pink Floyd! I got that album!!" Paddy nodded and everyone groaned at them.

Scott sounded snide as he commented. "You got a mickey-mouse question, that's unfair!"

Ignoring his brother, Jack turned to his teammate. "You gotta answer one too, so we get our pink marker.. that's the way we play it.. okay?"

Beach nodded. "Ummm sure." Jack rolled again, and landed on a green square.

Sallah laughed. "This has to be for BeachHead... green's his favorite color!" Even the sergeant had to laugh.

Paddy waited and finally flipped the card up. "From Sports, what was the only AFC East team to finish under .500?"

BeachHead blinked at him. "Uhhh.... what's a AFC team east?" Jack poked him. "What?"

"It's football.. pick a team..." Jack watched him thinking. "You gotta answer with something.. time's gonna run out.."

BeachHead took a breath. "Uhh.. okay.. the uhhh.. New York umm... Mets? Wait.. Giants! That's a football team, right?" It was really quiet. "Tell me I at least picked a football team."

Paddy kept his voice even. "Wrong answer.. correct answer the Miami Dolphins.. but yes, the Giants are a football team, nice try BeachHead."

BeachHead grinned. "Hey.. I got a team." He nudged Jack who looked horrified. "I picked a football team."

Jack groaned and put his head in his hands as everyone laughed. "We're doomed."

The game progressed, with most of the players able to answer at least every other question. June and Kevin wandered in and chose to climb on various people. June settled into BeachHead's lap for a while and ate most of his popcorn. Bored with the grown-ups, they'd taken off to the other room to play eventually.

BeachHead had gotten the hang of the game more or less. It didn't mean he got more questions right, per se... but at least he'd figured out he wouldn't get help from the other players.

Jack clicked the marker along the board for him. "Okay... pink... oh noooo."

Beach perked up and listened to the question. Paddy smiled as he read it. "Who gave Buster Keaton his nickname of 'Buster'?"

BeachHead went with the same answer he'd given all night to the questions he had no clue of the answer. "Eleanor Roosevelt!" There were hysterical laughs erupting while Jack groaned at him.

"Sounding enthusiastic doesn't get you any points BeachHead.. correct answer is Harry Houdini." Paddy put the card aside, but smiled at him. "That's the tenth time you've given that answer. If we gave out points for consistency, you'd be a front runner."

BeachHead gave him a nod. "Thank you sir. I do try."

Scarlett landed on brown and Paddy read off her question. "What's the only metal that's not a solid at room temperature?" She hummed and thought about it while Scott sweated.

She finally shook her head. "I'm drawing a blank.. the question doesn't make any sense!" BeachHead snorted loudly. "Shut up you! The answer isn't Eleanor Roosevelt!"

He laughed. "Nooo.. but at least I know it! Paddy, can't you put that one aside and let me answer on my next turn?"

Paddy shook his head. "No.. no cherry-picking questions. Ten seconds Shana.."

She threw her hands up. "No idea.. iron!"

"Sorry.. correct answer would be mercury." Paddy shook a finger at her while she folded over, hiding her face. "That's an easy one Shana.. shame on you."

SnakeEyes signed at her. *I've never been ashamed of my girlfriend before. I'm glad you're not on my team.*

She narrowed her eyes. "Don't push your luck."

Seth grabbed up the die. "Sorry sis.. you blew that one, even Jack should have been able to get that one right! Ahhhh HA!! SnakeEyes.. yellow!! Da.. tell him what he's got!"

The patriarch plucked up the card and frowned. "Alright.. mysterious masked man...

Who was the first person to fly a plane in Australia?"

SnakeEyes snatched up his pen and wrote quickly, ignoring the jeers at the obscure question. He held it up at Paddy.

^ Harry Houdini ^

He listened to the general laughter. Then Paddy nodded. "Correct." He wadded the paper and threw it at Scarlett who protested.

Jack reached behind him to poke at the ninja. "No way!! That's ridiculous! Da!! You're joking!" Paddy shook his head and offered the card to be passed around. "No way.. that's weird."

BeachHead's token was moved along the board again and Jack solemnly intoned. "Brrrrrrown! That's the color of all those potatoes you peeled today."

Beach elbowed him. "Shut up you.. gimme my question, Paddy! I'll get it!"

Paddy plucked up the card and then laughed for a full minute while everyone watched. Finally he cleared his throat theatrically. "For BeachHead.... Who did President Truman call, "First Lady of the World" in tribute to her human rights achievements?"

BeachHead blinked twice before grinning. "Eleanor Roosevelt!!!" Jack cheered for him when Paddy nodded. "YAAAAaay! That would be ME getting the question right."

Dan laughed, his skinny frame shaking all over. "Well, BeachHead.. you just proved the old adage, 'even a stopped clock is right twice a day', congrats!"

Jack rolled again for him and then moaned theatrically. "Sorry Beach.. your winning streak has come to an end. Pink!"

Sallah pointed. "He hasn't gotten a pink right yet."

The Ranger pointed back at her. "You haven't gotten a green right yet!"

Paddy cleared his throat. "Settle down... here's your question.. heh.. sorry BeachHead. Who wrote the lyrics for 'A Chorus Line'? And no.. it's not Eleanor Roosevelt."

Sean leaned towards them. "Awww BeachHead should know that.. it's a question about a Broadway musical! All drill instructors in the Army know all the trivia about Broadway musicals!"

BeachHead waited until the jeers and comments died down. "Edward Kleban."

Shocked silence reigned for a moment. Paddy gazed at the card. "Dang.. he's right."

A loud amount of questioning followed, and Seth swatted him from behind on the couch. "Hey hey!! I got it right! Shut it! I ain't gotta tell you HOW I know the answers! That ain't part of the rules! Nuh-uh!"

Jack smirked at all of them. "See, I was right to pick him!" He tossed another piece of popcorn up to catch in his mouth. He peered around confused when he failed to catch that piece, like the previous twenty pieces.

BeachHead looked at him. "You should just stop trying to catch them in your mouth."

Jack protested. "I do it all the time!! I dunno why I can't do it tonight!"

BeachHead tilted his head back at the couch behind them. "Cause normally you ain't got a ninja sitting behind you catching the danged popcorn."

He was pushed from behind and looked to see SnakeEyes fingerspelling at him. *n.a.r.c.*

"Hey.. he's my teammate.. I gotta look out after him, right?" He was pushed again. "You better quit whacking on me.. we'll go outside and settle it."

SnakeEyes snorted loudly and gave him another push. *You and what army?*

BeachHead twisted to point a finger at him. "You wanna go?" The ninja tilted his head sideways at him, spreading his fingers out in an offer. "Oh yeah.. we'll go! I will take your sneaky butt out!"

Scarlett's sharp tone broke through. "BeachHead! You are NOT getting out of playing Trivial Pursuit by calling out my ninja. Give it up."

He scowled at her. "Come on.. gimme a break.. I almost had ya'll convinced.."

Jack hooted at him, while Sallah and Aunt Beth chose to throw popcorn. Eventually Sean and Dan managed to win, the duo rarely missing a question, although the die seemed bent on making them miss the square they needed to land on repeatedly. Once the game was over, BeachHead helped Jack pull the markers apart to put it away.

The sergeant stretched, checking the time. "Nearly my bedtime."

Jack glanced at him. "You really do go to bed early. Do you really have to get up so early every day?"

"I like getting up early. Shoot.. by the time most of you laggards drag out to get some coffee, I've already gotten half a dozen things done. Besides, ain't nothing better than getting a ten mile run in before breakfast. Gets you all started up for the day."

Jack shook his head. "That would kill me. If I had to get up before daybreak, I think I would just lie down and die. Even with good coffee.. I'd die. I prefer to go to bed at four in the morning.. not get up at four in the morning."

Beach gave him a grin. "We'd just have to put you on night shift.. you'd get along well with my roommate. He's a night owl too."

The young man looked amazed. "They paired you with a night owl? Don't you drive each other crazy?"

"No.. of course not. He's in the room sleeping when I'm up and about on duty.. and vice versa. It's perfect. We barely cross paths. It helps that we're both fairly quiet too. If for some reason I need to be in the room during the day, I'm normally quiet enough that I won't wake him up."

SnakeEyes came back into the living room. *BeachHead.. the kids want a story read to them.*

Beach looked at the two small kids trailing behind the commando. "Yeah? So?"

*So, I can't read them a story. So they want you to do it.*

The Ranger looked startled. "Me? Why can't you.. oh.. never mind... uhh... I don't know anything about reading kids stories."

SnakeEyes looked annoyed suddenly. *You just read a book out loud, you can read.* He turned on his heel and left and Beach looked at the two kids.

June beamed at him. "You'll read us a story, right BeachHead?" Kevin looked less sure of himself.

Beach sighed. "Uhh.. sure.. what book am I reading?" There was a short debate, during which Jack took his leave, and which BeachHead finally cut short by refusing to read the story June wanted which involved a great deal of princesses and kissing. Kevin seemed almost as relieved as he did over that veto. "Curious George.. much better book.. " He settled on the couch and let the two kids clamber up to nestle next to him. "What? You gotta see the pictures too? Alright.. sit still then." June put herself under his arm, pointing at the book cover. "Yes.. that's George.. I see."

"Mommy reads me Curious George books too!" She poked the cover again. "He's gonna eat pamcakes!"

Kevin nodded and leaned over BeachHead's other arm. "Nuh-uh! He's gonna MAKE pamcakes!"

Beach shushed them. "You wanna hear the story? Settle down.." He waited until they stilled. "Okay.. here's George.. George was a good little monkey and always very curious."

* * * *

Scarlett wandered through, smiling at the sight of the tough sergeant major sitting with two small kids on the couch. She didn't interrupt, on a hunt for her partner. Instead she went into the kitchen, sniffing at the nice smells.

"Hey guys.. anyone seen SnakeEyes?" She bent to inhale next to a cake. "Oooo, that smells nice."

Aunt Beth brandished a spoon at her. "Stay away from that. I think he went out on the back porch. Seemed wound up over something." Scarlett thanked her and went outside.

Normally hunting SnakeEyes down took time and effort, but this time, she found him seated on the steps.

"Hey.. been lookin' for you." She settled next to him and leaned over to put her head on his shoulder. Instead of wrapping an arm around her, he shifted slightly away. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head, but his stiff posture gave him away.

She nudged him lightly. "Come on.. something is eating you, and it's recent, cause you were having fun earlier. So out with it.. don't make me bug you for an hour, just tell me now."

He puffed out a sigh. *It's stupid.*

She gave him a look. "What's stupid?"

*I'm jealous.*

Scarlett shook her head. "Jealous? Of who?"

He ducked his face down. *BeachHead. I told you, it's stupid. I feel like a selfish bastard.*

Instead of laughing or dismissing it, she shifted herself closer. "Why would you be jealous of BeachHead?" He sighed heavily at her. "No, really. The man has nothing. Other than more rank than you, what could he possibly have that you'd want?"

SnakeEyes jerked his chin towards the house. *He's reading to the kids. I can't do that. He doesn't even want to be here, but he can do things I can't do. They came and wanted me to read them a story, and I had to tell them no.* He slumped and reached to snap a twig off a shrub next to the steps. *I know.. stupid.. and selfish.* He began to snap the twig into ever smaller bits. *I couldn't introduce him to the kids, couldn't say his name. Can't do voices for reading stories. Can't give them a tune.. I can't even tell you I love you.*

She took his face in her hands. "Of course you can. You just can't do it the same way. You lost your vocal cords.. you didn't lose your voice." She smiled at him and put her forehead against his. "Silly man.. your hands and your body are more expressive than your vocal cords ever were. The kids don't miss you having them. They all adore you."

He gave a half shrug, unwilling to concede his bad mood quite yet. *They all like BeachHead too.*

She nodded. "They have someone new to poke at and play with.. doesn't mean they don't still like you." He sighed. "Are you just moody?"

*A little.*

Now she shifted to snuggle against his side. "That's nothing new. At least it looks like Sioban's been taken down a notch or two."

SnakeEyes gave a coughing laugh. *Aunt Beth is formidable. Although I still feel bad that she ripped BeachHead up the way she did. He hates to have anyone jerk him around about his upbringing.*

Scarlett got a grim look. "She was outa line. And she'd better not let me get a hold of her either. It's one thing for her to snipe at you.. you two have agreed to just dislike each other.. but she was just being cruel to him. He didn't look horribly upset once he came in though. Aunt Beth must have talked to him. I'd almost think he enjoyed himself this evening."

SnakeEyes pressed his cheek against the top of her head. *I think he did. Maybe he'll learn you don't have to be a hardass every second of every day.* He turned suddenly to look just as the back door opened up. Sarah walked out and then smiled as she took in the sight of them cuddled on the steps together.

Her voice sounded somewhat amused. "You guys should get a room.. you're always all sweet and googley over each other."

SnakeEyes smirked under the mask. *As pointed out earlier.. we have a room, and if you don't stop fussing, we'll use yours.*

She shook her head. "Yeah yeah.. Dan would have a cow. ANYway.. I thought I'd come tell you.. your friend is being terribly adorable. Apparently he's finished the story.. and the kids came to tell Da and me all about Curious George.. because 'uncle BeachHead' fell asleep."

Scarlett laughed as SnakeEyes shook his head. "Oh.. up past his bedtime again. Poor guy.. we should get pictures.."

Sarah raised a shoulder. "Ask Scott to get you copies of his. He has a ton of pictures he's been getting. I think he managed a covert snap of BeachHead reading to the kids even. He's almost as good at staying out of pictures as the crazy ninja there." SnakeEyes polished his fingers on his chest with mock pride. "Yes.. smartybutt. Anyway.. Seth said he'd wake him up in a few minutes to send him off to bed. Don't want him all embarrassed when people go walking in and find him asleep."

Scarlett suddenly whirled around. "Seth's not gonna wake him up??!" Before Sarah could answer, she was up and headed to the door. SnakeEyes beat her there and flew through the kitchen headed for the living room at top speed.

Scarlett slammed to a stop as she entered, realizing she was too late. Seth was just grabbing the sleeping Ranger to shake him awake. Even as she opened her mouth, BeachHead's eyes flicked open and he jerked himself around, one hand closing around Seth's throat as he rose off the couch. Her brother made a strangled noise of terror as his feet left the floor.

"NO!! BeachHead!! STAND DOWN!!" Her shout made him pause for a nanosecond midstrike. SnakeEyes arm slipped around his shoulder and pinned his right arm up and away from the young man. His other hand closed around the thick wrist, squeezing on nerve points in an attempt to force his hand open. "Stand down!"

BeachHead opened his hand, just now beginning to become alert. Seth slumped backwards, coughing and clutching at his neck. Beach looked at him and then suddenly looked horrified. "Oh my gawd!! I'm sorry!!" SnakeEyes turned him loose carefully.

Seth coughed and gagged for a second. Scarlett bent to check him. "Are you okay? Seth.. hey bro.. lemme see.." She looked him over. "You're fine.. what were you thinking??"

Seth swallowed a few times, but his voice still sounded hoarse. "I was thinking I'd wake up Beach before he got a cramp in his neck.. I didn't think he'd attack me!"

BeachHead looked miserable. "I'm sorry!! You startled me! I didn't mean to hurt you.. are you okay? I'm really sorry.."

Seth shook his head, swallowing again. "Sorry?! You just about took my head off! If I startled you, you should jump, not grab me by my head!"

Scarlett gave him a little shake by his arm. "You KNOW better Seth! I know you do! BeachHead's a combat soldier! You don't go grabbing him when he's asleep! That's as dumb as jumping him from behind when he doesn't know you're there! And I KNOW you've been warned not to do that! I was THERE when Da told you boys not to try anything stupid like that!"

Now he looked a bit shamefaced. "Well.. yeah.. sorry Beach.. I forgot.. I didn't think about it. We know not to do stupid stuff like that to SnakeEyes.. I should have remembered you'd be the same."

BeachHead shook his head, stepping backwards away from them. "No.. my fault.. I shouldn't have fallen asleep.. I shouldn't be here.. could have hurt you bad.. if Scarlett hadn't been yellin' at me.. if Snakes hadn't grabbed me.. we'd be callin' for a meatwagon to cart you to the ER."

Seth gave him a grin. "It's fine.. I doubt you would have done any permanent damage." Beachhead looked more distressed. "It's my fault.. I shouldn't have been jabbing you awake.. Shana is right.. we all know better. We wouldn't even wake HER up that way."

The Ranger shook his head. "I shouldn't be here.. I don't belong here.." He started to leave and was blocked by SnakeEyes. "Move.. please.. I just wanna leave.."

*No. You don't need to leave..*

Seth walked forward and BeachHead backed away from him, shaking his head. Seth sounded concerned. "Dude.. it's fine.. look.. no harm done.." Backed into a corner of the room, Beach shook his head again, refusing to meet his eyes. "I'm fine.. it was my fault.. don't feel bad.. really.."

Aunt Beth came in the room in a rush. "Seth. You go in the kitchen.." He started to protest and she pointed. "Go.. now." He did as he was told, as BeachHead started to leave through the gap. The matron blocked him herself. "No.. you're not leaving. It's fine.. Seth is right. This wasn't your fault.. this is your training.. these boys know better. No one will blame you for this accident."

BeachHead looked away from her. "I could have hurt him. He's just a dumb kid.."

She snorted. "Emphasis on 'dumb' right now. Come on.. I have tea seeping in the kitchen. You can come have a cup before bed." He hesitated. "Wayne.. would you please come have a cup of tea?"

He wavered. "I don't wanna hurt no one here.."

She reached out to take his hand. "You're not going to hurt anyone here. You're going to come drink some herbal tea that SnakeEyes brings us, and you're going to tell Seth you're sorry, and then you're going to let him tell you he's sorry. Then everyone will go to bed happy."

He nodded, still looking unhappy and confused. "Yes ma'am." She gave a little tug on his hand and he followed her into the kitchen obediently, albeit with an embarrassed expression. The glance he shot towards SnakeEyes on his way past was filled with shame, and the commando watched him walk away.

Scarlett let out a breath as they went into the kitchen, leaving the couple alone in the living room. "That was a close thing.. Good thing that Beach responds to orders instinctively. I didn't know if you were quite fast enough to stop his strike in time."

SnakeEyes signed to her. *I wasn't.. he pulled the blow before I grabbed him.. it was still a close thing.. but I'm not sure he would have seriously injured Seth.*

Scarlett looked grim. "When Da finds out, Seth's in for a lecture and a half. And I'll bet Aunt Beth tears him a new one too. AFTER Beach goes to bed. Poor guy.. he looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. It's not his fault.. but I bet he feels about two inches high right now."

The ninja agreed with her. *I know I would, if it had been me.*

She shook her head. "I know.. which is WHY I made sure to have a chat with them prior to bringing you to meet everyone. Growing up in a karate dojo the way we did, we always greeted the new guy by jumping them out of the shadows and junk. I can just imagine how you'd feel if you kicked one of them through a wall or something."

He rolled his eyes. *Yes.. or something.* She sighed at him. *Let's go have some tea too.*

She chuckled. "You'll take any excuse for hot tea.."

He tossed his head at her theatrically. *It's chamomile-Earl Grey blend.. the kind that smells like Fruit Loops..* She shook her head at him. *It does.*

"You're impossible."

*I'm a ninja, we're taught to be impossible.*

They walked into the kitchen to find Beach seated at the table with Seth, Sarah and Aunt Beth. "Hey guys.. is there enough tea for two more cups?"

Aunt Beth smiled at them. "Always enough for more people to join in. Sit down."

Beach peeked up at them. "It's that funky tea.. the kind that smells like fruity cereal."

*Told you.* Scarlett jabbed him in the ribs and pointed at a chair. *You're just annoyed because I'm right.*

"Shut up you.. for a silent ninja, you sure are mouthy."

He tilted his head to leer at her. *Usually you're happy about that.*

Before she could protest, Seth did. "Oh no.. sharing penalty! No visual images!"

Beach agreed. "Yeah.. enough already." Sarah nudged him with an elbow. "Oh geez.. I gotta listen to them all the time.. and the car ride.. it was torture.."

Scarlett snapped a napkin at him. "You were asleep in the backseat most of the ride. You didn't even stay awake through your own homestate."

He shrugged a bit too casually. "Nothing I wanted to see there anyway." Aunt Beth interrupted with two mugs of aromatic tea.

Scarlett thanked her and lifted her mug up to blow on the hot beverage. Then she frowned at it suddenly. "You know.. it DOES smell like Fruit Loops.."

SnakeEyes nodded smugly. *Told you so.*

* * * *

End chapter:

Lil' Beachie wanted to write the ending author's notes, but he's still irate over Sioban's comments from the previous chapter, so we're not gonna go there. I hope someone catches the subtle Hellboy reference.. and that it was a fun chapter. Next chapter should be Thanksgiving Day.

Thanks for reading!! Please let me know if you have any ideas and such, I never promise to use them, but sometimes I do.. and sometimes they spawn interesting plot bunnies.


	20. Chapter 20: Morning Full of Trouble

Chap 20

Yes! A long awaited update to the story! It's finally Thanksgiving day. What sort of trouble could anyone POSSIBLY get into on Thanksgiving morning?

Same disclaimers, I have no right, only write to show my appreciation, make no money, blah blah. I do however LOVE GI Joe, and I buy your comics, so you should like me!

Here's the chapter, please review if you like.

* * * *

Beach woke up and twisted himself around under his blankets. Looking out showed no smalls waiting to startle him this morning. He peered blearily at the clock. It showed "6:02" and he groaned softly and untucked one arm to rub his eyes. He'd been up until the early morning hours with the others and thus had actually only slept a few hours.

"Aww.. gah." He suddenly tossed the blankets aside and sat up. His body was awake and that meant it was time to get out of bed and be moving. He scrubbed a hand over his hair and did a full minute's worth of blinking. That was enough leisure and he got up and stretched, popping his back joints into place and dressing in fatigues and teeshirt for his morning workout.

Pattering his way down the stairs quietly, he exited through the kitchen, sniffing appreciatively at all the lingering aromas. Thanksgiving at the Pit was normally a low key thing. Roadblock would leave behind some things specially made for the Joes that stayed over the holiday as the skeleton crew. But it wasn't anything super special. This promised to have food rivaling Roadblock's best.

Outside and he took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders, feeling the muscles beginning to loosen up finally. His normal routine of stretching, exercises, and then finally he got ready to head out on his run. He always left the run for last as his treat.

"BeachHead!! Wait for me!"

He sighed and turned as June rushed down the steps. She'd stayed behind on a 'sleepover' which seemed to involve much more giggling and running around with Kevin than actual sleeping.

"June.. go back inside." He put his hands on his hips and stood looking at her severely. "You're not going this morning."

She came to a stop and looked at him with a confused expression. "Uh-huh! I go with you! We go for a run in the mornings!"

He shook his head, scowling at her. "No. * I * am going for a run.. while you stay here." He narrowed his eyes, giving her his best stern no-nonsense glare. He'd seen recruits quake in terror from one of his infamous glares. He hated to inflict a glare on a kid, but she'd need to finally learn when he meant business.

She looked back at him out of eyes too large for her face. Her expression changed ever so slightly to a confused hurt look.

"You're not going." His voice was firm.

Her eyes focused on him and glistened just a little bit.

"Really not going." Was that his voice softening? No.. not at all...

She sniffed a tiny bit.

"You'll just slow me up." Was that him making an excuse as to why??

She blinked slowly and stepped forward to reach up and take his hand in her tiny one. "Don't you LIKE me anymore?"

He folded. No other word for it at all. Folded like a wussy little bleeding heart putz. Taking a deep breath, he tilted his head and looked down at her. "You do realize.. recruits are going to be unknowingly cursing you for the next month as I make their lives a living nightmare to make up for being this much of a big softy.... right?"

"Does that mean I can come?"

He slumped. "Fine.. but you better go further than two measley miles.. I don't wanna be carrying you across the entire county.." He turned and stalked out of the gate and turned loose of her hand. "Stay on the grass and keep up." Setting out at a trot, he headed down the road, pacing through the short half-dead grass.

Perhaps closer to two and a half miles, and he noticed her falling behind again. Coming to a stop he waited for her to catch up and crouched. "Get on.. lord knows I need to have some small wrapped around my throat for eight danged miles." She climbed up on his back and he adjusted her arms slightly. "Try not to choke me, okay?"

"I'm sorry I can't run as far as you can." Her voice did sound a little disappointed in herself.

He grunted softly. "Well.. you're really little compared to me.. so you have to make a little run.. right?" She agreed. "So.. you did a June-length run, and I do a BeachHead-length run. So that's okay then."

"Okay!" He smiled to himself and lengthened his stride out to a comfortable run, each step sending him flying over the brightening landscape. The sun rose over the horizon almost exactly when he stopped at the halfway point to turn around. He watched the heavy clouds moving in from the west and wondered how long before it began raining.

He arrived back at the house and found Aunt Beth waiting on the porch steps for him. "Wayne, are you insane? Why are you out running at this hour?"

"I overslept."

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "Well, come help me start breakfast then.." He willingly followed her inside, crouching to let June climb off his back.

"Uhh.. Aunt Beth.. you realize I can't cook anything more complicated than peanut butter on crackers.. right?" He peered around at various bowls and containers.

She sighed at him and plunked a large ceramic bowl down then pointed at the sink. "Wash your hands."

"Okaay.. but when I ruin something, just don't be surprised." She snorted disdainfully. "Okay, so what can I do?"

He was given a recipe and peered at it. Aunt Beth gave him measuring cups and he sucked at his lip reading the paper a few times. "Are you sure we don't need biscuits for breakfast? Cause I'm certain to screw it up."

She shook a finger at him. "Mix the ingredients together lightly. Then tell me, and I'll show you how to make the biscuits."

Shaking his head, he measured and stirred, trying to make certain all his measurements were precise. He figured a little bit of eggshell would just add calcium. "Okay.. I'm finished."

She came to look and raised an eyebrow. Sticking a finger in, she fished out a few bits of eggshell. He raised his hands. "What? It's just little bits. Umm.. calcium is good for bones and stuff." She declined to comment and stirred it a bit more before throwing flour on the tabletop. "Why are you doing that?"

"So the dough won't stick to the table." She rolled the heap around easily. "Okay.. you knead it a little bit like this. Don't overwork it." He watched her smushing the dough around and figured it looked easy enough.

"Uhh yeah.. I wouldn't know anything about overworking." She brandished a spoon at him and he ducked reflexably. "Don't whap me! You O'Hara women are all violent!"

"I will whap you.. just knead that."

"I'm kneading! I'm kneading!" The dough obviously didn't like him as much as it liked Aunt Beth, because it stuck to his hands and he had to constantly peel bits off and put it back into the wad. She took pity on him after several minutes and fixed it back into a obedient blob. Rolling it out flat was a lot easier.

Cutting out the biscuit rounds with a glass looked easy, until he realized that getting them out of the glass seemed impossible. Aunt Beth took it away and showed him again, clicking the glass down onto the flattened dough and lifting it to shake gently and make a perfect round biscuit. He took it back and spent five minutes getting a wad of dough pried out of the glass. He was sighed at, so he repeated that he'd told her he was no cook.

Finally she gave him batter to stir while she finished putting the somewhat mangled biscuits into the oven. Beating eggs was next, which caused him to get whapped when he mentioned he did an 'egggggscellant' job of beating things. Aunt Beth finally put him to slicing up fruit to keep him out of trouble. When he ran out of fruit to slice, she gave him a set of tongs to stand in front of a pan full of bacon. His job seemed to be poking the bacon every so often to make sure it was cooking. In his mind, the bacon would cook all by itself, but she had the big whapping spoon, so he stood there and poked the bacon every so often.

Surprisingly to him, Sean was the first one to appear. He gave Aunt Beth a kiss to her cheek and plucked up a slice of melon to stuff into his mouth. "Mornin'." He peered at BeachHead for a second. "Mornin' BeachHead.. cookin?"

"Ahh.. sort of. She made me." He turned back to poke at the bacon. "Aunt Beth.. I think it's burning." She rushed over to rescue the pan from his inept poking. "Sorry.. it just started doing that."

"Wayne.. you really are a disaster in the kitchen." He shrugged. "Take the biscuits out." He did manage to remove the pan from the oven without destroying any more food.

By the time she was attempting to teach him to make pancakes, most of the rest of the people had staggered or wandered into the kitchen. June was seated in a chair in the corner, pointing out that BeachHead wasn't nearly as good at making the pancakes as Curious George.

"Har de har har.. I don't have monkey feet to toss the pancakes over with."

Aunt Beth sighed heavily. "Flip them, not toss them. That one is ready.."

He grunted and slipped the spatula under the pancake and carefully turned it over. "Ha!! See! I can do it!" He started to poke at another one. "How do you know when it's ready to turn over?"

She pointed at the edges. "See the little bubbles? Turn that one."

He did and hummed softly. "Ahh.. I see. It's such a mystery.. I always figured that when it started to smoke you knew it was done." She shook her head and pinched at his cheek making him duck away. "Hey hey.. hands off the sergeant major.." She tweaked at his nose instead and he grinned then looked past her. "Morning Scarlett! Look.. I'm cooking!"

Scarlett blinked and tugged her robe more snugly around her. "Oh great. Is there anything edible? What's the odor? Something burn?"

BeachHead frowned. "No... almost burned.." She nodded and accepted a cup of coffee from Seth.

Aunt Beth began setting out plates. "Everyone go ahead and start.. and yes.. BeachHead has been a great help this morning. Sean was busy putting together the roasts for the smoker, so I needed a kitchen monkey."

Sean grinned. "Monkey is right.. 'anything a half-trained monkey could do' is exactly what Beach is good at."

BeachHead plucked up a strawberry to throw at him. "Shut it."

Scarlett picked up a biscuit then peered at it carefully. "What happened to the biscuits?"

"BeachHead happened to them.. they don't taste nearly as bad as they look." BeachHead threw another bit of fruit at Sean. "Hey.. cut it out kitchen monkey!"

Aunt Beth smacked Sean and then Beach in rapid succession. "You two stop that. Wayne, you're letting the pancakes burn."

He quickly flipped the rest of the pancakes. "No no.. not burned.." He poked at the worst ones. "Some are.. maybe a little.. well... they're cajun style pancakes."

A loud snort made them turn to see SnakeEyes entering the kitchen already dressed although his hair was still scruffy looking over the bandanna that seemed to be his standard morning wear for when it was just the immediate family. *You let BeachHead cook?*

Aunt Beth pointed at him with her spoon. "You just hush, Wayne's been a good help."

Seth suddenly turned to BeachHead. "Wayne?"

He received a deadly looking scowl. "Yeah?" Seth raised his eyebrows and looked at Scarlett who glared a warning at him.

Seth smiled and shrugged a little. "Nothing. Soooo.. BeachHead.. you gonna help out with all today's cooking too?"

"Maybe." He removed all the pancakes to a platter to set on the table. Aunt Beth came over to pour more. "Naw.. I can do it.. I watched you do it.. looks easy.." He carefully dripped the batter onto the griddle and then grunted. "Oops.. that one is for SnakeEyes.."

*Why do I get the bad one?*

"I didn't say it was bad! It's just... it'll be fine!" Beach grumbled to himself. Sallah came and peered over his arm at the pancakes. She rested her hand on his forearm gently with her face very close to his shoulder and he suddenly shifted away. "Hey.. there's plenty on the table.."

She tilted her face up at him and smiled and he noted that of everyone who'd come into the kitchen so far, she was the only fully dressed person. He wondered if that meant something, and resolved he'd ask SnakeEyes later on.

Scarlett saved him this time, calling Sallah to come sit by her. SnakeEyes sat on her other side, much to her carefully hidden disappointment when Beach settled on the far end of the table. Other than some good natured teasing over the occasional blackened pancake and the lumpy biscuits, everyone did agree that breakfast wasn't bad.

There was more talking and laughter than eating, which was nothing like the messhall in the mornings normally. At least, nothing like the messhall when BeachHead was likely to be there eating breakfast. Early mornings meant people were busy eating before heading off to whatever task had gotten them up early. Few Joes were such morning people that they would voluntarily get up early and then make cheerful conversation. BeachHead was happy to get his coffee and food down so he could get out to beat the greenshirts or Joes he was training out to the PT courses. Here, everyone joked and stole the food off their neighbor's plates, offered syrup or butter or jam around, teased each other and made the plans for the day.

"Beach.." Scarlett reached over to take the blackberry jam from in front of his plate. "Mmm, my favorite.." She spooned some onto her misshapen biscuit. "We have a family tradition that we'll be doing today.. but you don't have to come." He looked at her cautiously. "It's a trip to the family plot.. in the cemetery and well.. it's a family thing. I don't want you to feel like you have to come, it's fine."

Aunt Beth spoke up. "Beach can stay here with me. I watch the little kids, and keep the food cooking." She gave him a wicked glance. "I'd leave you here alone with the food and kids, but I think we'd like to have both edible dinner and live kiddos this evening."

He tilted his head at the laughter. "Oh I see.. I'm yer faithful kitchen monkey.. and ya make fun-a me." She leaned over to nudge his shoulder with hers. "Never mind that it's probably true.."

"Hello??" The strange voice from just outside the kitchen made SnakeEyes jump out of his chair and disappear through the backdoor just as the door swung open and a young couple entered. "Hey, we're here! Made it!" BeachHead started to get up to go check to see that his friend was okay when Scarlett shook her head.

Her voice was pitched for him to hear, while the others greeted the young people, fussing over the infant they carried in their arms. "He's fine Beach. He'll go in the upper story window and get dressed, put on a mask." He settled back into his chair and then shifted slightly further away from Aunt Beth who cuddled the baby, cooing at it.

He stood as the young lady held out a hand to him. "Hello.. nice to meet you."

Jack motioned to her and to her good-looking husband talking to Sarah and Seth. "This is Amanda, she's our cousin. That's her hubby Frank the most perfect man in the universe EVER.. yeah, they make us gag, sappier than even SnakeEyes and Shana, I swear. Oh.. and the itty bitty perfect beeeeby Amy.." Jack reached to tickle at the infant in Aunt Beth's arms. "Hey Amanda.. this is BeachHead.. he's one of Shana's friends. He helped make breakfast without destroying too much food which I'm informed was a true holiday miracle."

"Ha ha. Just remember, you're the ones washing dishes today." BeachHead held up his hands as Aunt Beth tried to hand him the baby. "Oh no.. no no.. that's okay. I'm fine without the baby. I'll probably break it."

Amanda gathered the gurgling infant up to hold in her arms. "Oh I'm sure you won't break her.. Amy is a real sturdy baby." She suddenly deposited it into his arms without warning and he had to either hold it or drop it. "See? She won't bite you!"

He huffed and struggled to get the squirming infant settled in some way that didn't make him feel he was about to drop it on it's little fuzzy head. "Oh this is a baaad idea.. really.. here.. take it back.." Instead she put his arms a certain way with a few tugs and nudges. "Okay.. yeah I get it.. holding the baby.. how wonderful.. take it back."

She shook her head. "No, you hold her a while.. look, she likes you. See her smiling?" He looked down into the tiny face with blurry unfocused eyes and chubby cheeks. "Just support her head like this.." He shifted one hand to cup her head properly. "There.. see? That's not hard!"

He held the little mite in her arms and watched her face screw up in comical expressions. He wasn't sure if it was happy expressions or she was about to begin bawling at the nervous stranger holding her. Jack reached to tickle her and she made happy sounding gurgles.

"Is she supposed to sound like she's gargling?" He bounced her a little bit very gently. "Uhh.. hi." She seemed to like the movement and waved little fists at him.

Jack laughed at him. "Yeah.. that's a normal baby noise BeachHead." He sighed as he was called over to the sink. "Gotta go wash the first of the two billion dishes today.. it'd go tons faster if you'd help out too, you know."

BeachHead smiled at the infant and then raised his eyes at Jack. "Remember when I said 'I don't wash dishes' when I won that bet? You guys lost, fair and square."

"I know I know... I don't gotta like it." The youngest of the boys slumped over to be handed a bottle of dishsoap by Seth. With all four boys working on it, the breakfast mess was quickly being cleaned up.

SnakeEyes did reappear, looking a great deal more hesitant with Frank and Amanda, although he immediately came to peer at the infant that BeachHead hadn't managed to pass off to anyone. The sergeant major gratefully gave it over to the ninja. His cloth mask didn't seem to bother the baby in the least and he propped her onto his shoulder to pat her on the back gently.

BeachHead watched him and shook his head. "You act like you know what you're doing there Snakes.. wouldn't have guessed you to be all maternal." He was given a head tilt and a snort as reply. "I know.. we get back to base and you're gonna take this all out on me on the hand-to-hand mats." The ninja snorted again and then turned to Amanda as she approached him.

"Hi SnakeEyes.. oh look.. Amy likes you.. " She looked as if she wanted to take the baby back, and SnakeEyes lifted her from his shoulder to hand her back. "Thanks.. I wondered if one of you would help Frank get the baby's things from the car? The boys are all so busy cleaning up."

BeachHead agreed and went out with the commando to the cars, blinking up at the low dark cloudy sky. He looked over at the silent man striding beside him. "She seemed a little nervous around you.. they not used to you like the rest?"

*Yes. I've only met them twice. Scarlett explains about..* He motioned towards his face. *But I still make them uneasy. It's okay.*

"I guess. Hi Frank.. I'm BeachHead.. you know SnakeEyes, right? Your wife sent us out to help you carry things."

Frank looked from one to the other and swallowed. "Ahh.. thanks.. "

Beach jerked his head at the masked commando. "Don't worry, he already ate breakfast, so he won't pull out your liver to munch on." The young man looked startled. "Oh.. that was a joke.. really. Sorry, I'm not very good at making jokes."

* * * *

Aunt Beth cradled little Amy in her arms and watched the group leaving. They'd gotten dressed nicely and gathered up umbrellas and raincoats. It was a remarkably unsomber group for people headed to a cemetery to his eyes. But then, it wasn't his family tradition, and he had no idea what sort of visit they made.

He'd helped Aunt Beth put two turkeys into the oven, one with different spices which he was assured was just as delicious as the normally baked one. He'd helpfully pointed out that he regularly ate freeze dried MRE rations, so he was certain to like whatever either one tasted like. Somehow it had seemed more complimentary of a comment inside his head.

Rather than going with the group, SnakeEyes chose to head out to the dojo to run through his katas and meditate. BeachHead watched him stride out in loose fitting clothing to exercise in and wished he could go hide out in a dojo and exercise himself. He'd already agreed to help out the matriarch though.

"Wayne.. come out and I'll show you how to baste the roasts in the smoker. Take that bowl and the baster.." He followed her out to the back porch, peering out at the kids playing in the backyard with Buster.

He opened up the smoker and sniffed at the meat roasts. "Smells tasty already. How long until they finish cooking?" He sucked up the fluid to squeeze over the meat, listening to the sizzling as it dripped.

The kids rushed past with Buster in pursuit. Aunt Beth nodded at them. "They'll be tired by early afternoon. The roasts will take most of today to finish cooking." Once inside again, she put Amy into a high chair where she gurgled and grasped at several bright colored toys. June, Kevin and the other half dozen children came through with the shepard and Aunt Beth shooed them away from the oven. "Yes.. you've had breakfast.. not time for snacks yet, go on and go play in the living room." June took a moment to hug BeachHead's leg tightly before she ran off yelling loudly.

She turned to him and looked him over with a thoughtful gaze. "Why don't you build up the fire, bring in some more firewood for today, then you can come help me with things in the kitchen." He nodded agreeably. Carrying wood was entirely preferable to attempting to not ruin perfectly good food.

Even carefully stacking the extra wood, and poking the fire up into the best formation to burn long and slow didn't take very long and he finally sighed and went to wash up. "Wayne, just in time. I need to go check the roasts and put these beans on beside them."

He nodded at her, wiping his hands dry on a towel. "Sure.. what can I do?"

"Watch the baby, you can feed her.. it'll just take me a few minutes." She picked up two heavy dutch oven pots and smiled at his look of dismay.

"Wait.. what do you mean.. watch it?" He gazed at the little baby sitting in the high chair. "Feed it?" She chuckled and pointed at a small dish. "Feed it that mushy stuff? Shouldn't it have milk?"

"Wayne you just spoon the food into HER mouth. Not 'it', say 'her'." Aunt Beth pointed and he sighed. "It's not hard.. just give her some of the strained peas until I get back inside. It's good for you, builds character for you to interact with the kids."

"I think I'm enough of a character.." His mutter wasn't quite low enough and she raised her eyebrow at him. "Yes ma'am. Feed the young-un. Got it." She waited until he picked up the bowl and spoon before she left. Looking down at the infant who gurgled at him, he scooped up the mush and sniffed at it. "I might eat it.. but somehow I think most folks wouldn't care for this stuff. Maybe you babies like weird food though. Here.." He offered a spoonful to her and she helpfully ignored the spoon to bang one of the pink plastic shapes on the tray instead. "Naw.. come on.. you're supposed to eat this stuff.." When she opened her mouth to make a happy noise, he stuck the spoonful into her mouth and watched as she sucked the goop off of it. "Oh.. that's how it's done, huh? Well, I can handle that."

Two spoonfuls went in just like the first, then she spat out a large glob. He grimaced. "Well, that's not supposed to happen. Once you eat it, you keep your food." She seemed very pleased to have drooled out the goop, and the way it smelled, he really didn't blame her much. He gave her another glop and she swallowed and then began looking at the tray, patting it with both fists. "What? Don't worry about your toy.. eat this.. come on.." She twisted her face away and whined. "Look.. mm.. eat this.."

When she began to whimper looking for the silly toy, he got up to look for it. "Alright alright.. so I'm finding the thing, hang on." Leaning over the chair, he looked for the plastic shape. He didn't notice his dog tags clinking free of his teeshirt to swing enticingly in front of the baby. Not until her chubby fist closed on them. "Hey! Hey come on.. turn those loose.. that's not your toy.. look..." Twisting himself around, he tried to tug backwards but she refused to let go. "Ahh.. yeah.. this is great.."

He tried glowering at her from the eight inches of slack he had. "Now you let go, right now!" She reached up and tried to grab his nose and he turned his face out of range. "Stop it.. now.. Amy.. yeah.. Amy.. good baby.. turn loose.." She made a secondary grab and got a handful of hair. She didn't have big hands, but that just meant it was a bit more painful as she enthusiastically tugged at what she got. "Ow.. ow ow.. yeah.. definitely should have gotten a haircut.." Reaching up, he gently tugged at her hand until the hair slipped through her fingers.

"Now.. just leggo my dog tags.." Trying to pry her hands loose from those was impossible. "Who the heck ever made up that stupid thing about 'taking candy from a baby' never had to pry dog tags loose from one. Come on.." She giggled and gurgled and tugged at her prize and he spotted the pink toy on the floor. "Oh hey.. there's your toy.. I'll get it for you..." He tried to reach it and was predictably just out of range. "Awww.. leggo.. come on.. I promise no more strained peas. I'll give ya a leftover biscuit."

Failing to get her to turn loose, he finally grasped the chain and fumbled to find the tiny fastener. "Of course.. it's in yer grubby little hand. Why would that surprise me." He hesitated but ducked his head down out of the loop of chain. It felt wrong but he shook his head, trying to ignore the unease he felt at the absence of the familiar chain around his neck.

"Okay.. where's your toy.." He grabbed it off the floor and immediately found it a bit too dirty to consider giving back to her. Taking it to the sink to rinse it, he turned to talk to her. "Alright.. so now I'll give you the toy.. you give me the tags.. even swap.. good deal huh?" The running water covered the slight clink of the tags and chain hitting the floor. "All clean.." Wiping the toy dry, he walked over and dangled the toy at her.

"Here ya go.. now.." He looked at her empty hands reaching for the toy. "Wait.." He let her grasp the pink seashell and began to look fruitlessly for the tags and chain. "You just had 'em.." Buster banged through the kitchen door and ran into his leg. "Oh go on.. stupid dog.. get outa the kitchen!"

Buster lunged around the table twice before he ducked to the floor and then ran for the living room again. "Yeah.. go play with the kids." BeachHead continued to look for the missing tags.

Aunt Beth returned to find him on hands and knees under the kitchen table. "Wayne! What the devil are you doing hiding under the table!?" Her voice was between outrage and confusion.

He started up, banged his head sharply on the underside of the table and backed out, muttering loudly to himself. "I'm not HIDING! I'm looking for my danged dog tags! Your little terrorist baby there snatched them, and now I can't find them!" He got to his feet. "She doesn't like strained peas by the way."

The short plump woman was trying not to laugh at him, rather unsuccessfully. "Oh Wayne.. I'm sorry.. I'm sure they're here somewhere." He frowned at her. "You have... have strained peas in your hair.." She let out a chortle. "I only left you alone in here for ten minutes..."

"Yeah.. well.." He reached up to pat his hair. "Oh gawd.. that's some nasty stuff. How can you feed that to a innocent baby?" His hand went almost unconsciously to his neck, feeling for the missing chain. "I gotta find those tags.. "

June and Kevin ran in and tugged his pants leg. "BeachHead!! BeachHead!!"

"What? I'm busy right now!" He peered at the floor around the oven. "Go play."

"But BeachHead!! Buster gots your necklace!" He froze and then turned around slowly. "He ran outside with it!"

"He what?" He was picturing Hawk's face when he stood in his office explaining how he managed to cause a security breach by losing the special dog tags he'd worn since his inception into GI Joe. The tags weren't just a flat metal ID, but had embedded technology. Trying to explain that an infant had caused him to allow a dog to run off with them.. that wouldn't go well. "WHAT?!? Where's that danged dog?! I'll murder him!" He raced off, dodging another kid in the living room and jumping the couch as he hit the front door and raced out onto the porch. "BUSTER!! You stupid dog! Where are you!?"

The shepard came racing up agreeably. Beach grabbed at him, kneeling on the ground to pull his mouth open to look, ignoring the dirt and mud. "Spit them out! Dang it! Where are they!?" Buster chose to lick him in the face and jump on his back. "Stop it! You stupid bowwow!"

"Wayne!!" Aunt Beth came out, holding the baby in her arm. "Wayne have you gone mad?!?"

He got up and looked at her. "No! He took my dog tags! I have to get them back! I HAVE TO!!" His frantic face convinced her this wasn't simply a case of him being attached to that particular set of ID. He pointed at the dog who still gamboled around him happily. "Bad dog! BAD DOG!!!" Buster lowered his head. "Where's my tags!?"

"I'm so sorry Wayne, but he's probably dropped them somewhere in the yard.. or buried them. He is covered in mud."

BeachHead groaned. "Of course he has.." He sighed and looked at her. "I gotta find them.. I'll find them.."

She took a deep breath, hefting the infant on her hip. "I can help.."

"No.. no you have things to do." On cue, the rain began to drizzle down on him and he looked up into the sky. "Really?? REALLY!?!" He sighed and stood there getting rained on in the yard with a ecstatic muddy dog at his feet. "Go inside Aunt Beth. You have the kids to watch.. food to cook.. I'll find them. He can't have taken them far."

Looking uncertain about it, she nodded, moving back inside the door. "Wayne.. you should come inside.. it's raining."

Shaking his head, he glared at the dog, feeling the chill rain beginning to soak his hair and teeshirt already. "No.. I gotta find those tags."

After an hour of attempting to figure out which of the recently dug up spots held his missing tags, Beach was about to strangle the dog and cut him open to make sure he hadn't eaten the things. Buster was enthused about helping him and often helpfully dug at the ground near Beach, throwing mud on him as often as not. He was already covered in mud up to his eyebrows from digging in the dirt by hand. The rain hadn't gotten much worse than a medium light rainfall, being just enough to keep him thoroughly drenched and cold.

He heard the returning vehicles just as he saw the slightest glimpse of something shiny in a muddy spot under a bush. Diving over, he grabbed and dragged the chain out of the mud, plucking the tags out of the ground with a smacking plop. "Ahhh... got ya." He got to his feet slowly, wiping the worst of the filth off the tags and flinging it aside. Looking down at the dog wagging his tail beside him, he growled lowly. "You bad dog! Don't you EVER touch these again!" Buster shook himself all over and trotted off to his dog house, uninterested in BeachHead if he was done being entertaining with the digging and shouting. "Stupid danged dog.. stupid danged vacation.. yeah, I was under STRESS on base.. not like HERE!" He swiped a hand across his face, feeling the grit and dirt under his fingers. "Great."

Slogging up the porch steps, he paused to shake himself all over rather like the shaggy dog had done only minutes earlier. Snorting at the rain flowing in his eyes, he stepped up to the porch itself only to stop at the sight of a horrified Scarlett and family.

She stared at his bedraggled state. "BeachHead.. what.. what are you doing?"

He narrowed his gaze at her. "Yeah.. got tired of being clean.. went and rolled in the muddy ditch for a couple hours." He paused and reached to scratch behind his ear. "Man, do I feel BETTER!" He shook his head again, slinging the worst of the mud out of his hair. Then he wiped his feet on the mat before he went upstairs to shower and change.

Jack watched him go up the stairs, dripping the entire way. "You know Sis.. nothing personal.. but some of your friends just ain't right in the head."

She sighed. "Yeah.. I know. Boy.. do I know."

* * * *

End Chapter:

So next up is the Thanksgiving gathering and dinner. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Poor BeachHead.. somehow the whole idea of a stress-free calm holiday just isn't panning out for him so well.


	21. Chapter 21: Afternoon from Ninja POV

Chap 21?

Ahhhh yes, see? I hadn't forgotten about this story either!! You thought I did! I've done something different for this chapter, letting it be from SnakeEyes' POV. See how our favorite ninja is dealing with the holiday, see Beach helping in the kitchen and getting into trouble.

Reviews are treasured beyond all measure. Feedback is always encouraged and sometimes spurs a new idea, or a chapter spin. As always, thank you for reading my paltry efforts, and enjoy!

* * * *

SnakeEyes watched the crowd milling about and sighed to himself softly. Scarlett's extended family was large and loud and touchy-feely, although at least some of the touchy-feely wasn't extended to him. Some members of the family still weren't used to the idea of a masked man, even if they'd already heard the why's about his facial scarring. He felt like the odd man out in these larger gatherings. Not only was he masked and mute, but he was one of the few non-southern people, which meant a great deal to some of the family. He still didn't quite understand the concept of 'grits', although he never could enjoy fried chicken anywhere but in Aunt Beth's kitchen now. She did enjoy spoiling him for eating elsewhere.

He heard a louder laugh from across the room and spotted Jack telling a small group about their arrival back from the family cemetery trip to find a mud-covered disheveled BeachHead coming up onto the porch acting just a bit demented. He still wasn't clear on what exactly had happened today while he'd been meditating. He'd heard that either BeachHead had gone and deliberately rolled in a mudpuddle because he wanted to be filthy, or that he'd been chasing the dog in order to retrieve something it stole from in the house, or that he'd gone a bit bonkers and thought he was 'in Nam' hunting down 'Vee-it-congs'. Honestly.. while the third theory was obviously crackpot, he wasn't entirely sure which of the first two he thought more likely.

Shana had spent some time with the grumpy sergeant major, and he'd emerged after a shower, clean, dry and dressed in decent casual clothing that she'd obviously chosen for him. He had admitted privately to SnakeEyes, he really didn't mind the polo shirts, although he couldn't quite figure out why people couldn't wear the much more comfortable fatigue pants with the polo shirts. The ninja had managed to not laugh, with considerable effort, and instead told him to go ask Scarlett that.

June ran up demanding to be picked up and he happily obliged her. She told him about going on a run, then about how angry BeachHead had been earlier when chasing Buster around in the rain. She patted his chest, admiring his newer gray sweater. It was soft alpaca wool, and he fingerspelled out 'alpaca' for her. He put her down to greet Amanda as the young woman came up.

*Good afternoon Amanda, how is Amy?* He reached to stroke the baby's cheek with the back of one finger, making her giggle and grab at his hand.

Amanda didn't quite pull away, but he knew he still made her nervous. If she knew half the truth about him, he was certain she'd never be in the same county with him. Some people just seemed high-strung around ninjas that had killed more people than most of the average population spoke to in a week.

"Hi SnakeEyes.. I uhh... I know you like.. umm.. I thought you'd like to hold Amy." She rushed the last words out quickly. He was a little startled, since she normally wouldn't let him touch the baby more than once or twice. She deposited the tiny form into his arms and he cradled her and rocked her slightly. "I'm supposed to give Sean a hand with some pies.. and.. well.. Aunt Beth said I should let you watch the baby while I'm busy." She wiped her hands up and down her skirt. "So... if you need me.. I'll be in the kitchen.. okay?"

He nodded at her, signing *Thank you.* twice. He swayed a little in place, playing with the infant's tiny hand.

Amanda hovered for a moment. "Well.. if she fusses or.. I'll just be in the kitchen.." He nodded at her, feeling extremely pleased with himself. He tilted Amy up to wave her arm gently at mommy walking away and she smiled at his whimsy. Moving to the couch, he settled the infant into the crook of an arm and watched her make faces at him.

Scarlett came over to tickle at Amy and held her hands out to take her. *No, mine. Amanda gave her to me, so I get to hold her for a while. Wait your turn.* He was treated to a terribly bad pout from his girlfriend. *Go rescue BeachHead, Frank has him corner and his eyes are glazing over. He must be talking stocks and bonds again.*

Scarlett turned with a annoyed noise. "Yeah.. I'll go snag him." SnakeEyes watched her move across the room with her usual grace and poise, the long brushed green skirt hiding her long legs, yet hinting at the loveliness contained beneath the flowing cloth. He really liked the way she looked from behind in a nice long flowing skirt.

"You keep staring like that, I'll think you should be making a final step soon, son." He sighed and turned to look at Paddy who'd rolled up beside the end of the couch. "How's that little bitty Amy?" He reached out and offered her a small stuffed thing that resembled purple toast with antenna. "How are the two of you doing lately? Things have been so hectic, I haven't had a chance to sit down and chat with you much."

*Things are fine. Look, Amanda gave ME the baby.* Paddy looked appropriately impressed. *She must finally trust me not to eat her while her mommy's back is turned.*

Paddy laughed. "Well, it takes some folks a bit longer to get used to you. Give her some time.. and give Aunt Beth a bit to bend her ear.. she's bound to come around."

*Ninjas are very patient.* Paddy chuckled at that also. *Scarlett is rescuing BeachHead from Frank.*

The patriarch turned his chair slightly. "Oh? Trapped by talk of making money on paper? Poor boy. I hear he had a bit of an episode today.. related to the episode last night where he nearly took off my son Seth's head for no reason? You realize we are trusting your judgment on him almost as much as we trust Shana's."

SnakeEyes turned his face towards the older man calmly. *Seth grabbed BeachHead when he was soundly asleep to wake him up yesterday.* He watched Paddy's face go outraged. *Aunt Beth took care of everything. Everyone was fine.*

Paddy pressed his lips into a thin line. "I swear.. sometimes these boys haven't got the brains that God gave a gnat. How did Seth end up not getting hurt?"

The commando tilted his borrowed infant up onto his shoulder and patted her gently before he replied. *Scarlett and I arrived just in time. He responded to her shout and I grabbed him, but I know he was already realizing Seth wasn't a threat. Seth was shaken up, but he understood once Scarlett berated him for a while. BeachHead..* He paused. *BeachHead is a combat soldier first. He was startled. He's not a bad person.*

Nodding his head thoughtfully, Paddy hummed to himself, already planning the wording of the shouting that was going to happen once company left and he got his young son in his office. "That's fine. We talked to the boys BEFORE you three arrived. He was being stupid. Tell me.. does BeachHead see much combat? Or does he mainly just run PT?"

SnakeEyes snorted at him. *He's one of the best, no one else I'd rather have. But..* He thought for a second. *But he can seem reckless on occasion. He has a habit of charging into dangerous situations without 'enough' regard to his personal safety.*

"Fire-eater is he? I used to resemble that description waaay back when." Paddy seemed overly pleased and SnakeEyes coughed a bit of laughter.

*BeachHead has been known to charge an enemy fortification with a rock and an evil gleam in his eye. Some of the newer team members tend to think he's suicidal until they get to know him. Well..* He revised the statement slightly. *Some members still think that.. including our staff psychologist.. but he thinks we're all nuts.* He rocked the baby a little bit against his shoulder.

Paddy laughed at that. "No, he 'knows' you're all nuts, and knows exactly which medical descriptions to use to describe exactly how nuts you all are in what specific direction." Snakes pant-laughed at that. "I know Army special units, I was in one.. you have to be just a little off your rocker to belong there. So what happened today? Flashbacks?"

SnakeEyes shook his head. *Ask him, here he is.* Looking up at the wary looking Ranger, he signed the question to him. *Paddy wants to know what happened today?*

BeachHead puffed out a annoyed sigh. "Paddy sir.. the dog got my tags and I had to dig them out of the yard where he'd buried them. In the rain, while he helpfully dug up more of the yard and threw half the ground on me. I didn't try to go get filthy." He spread his arms to indicate his currant neat state of dress. Scarlett had chosen dark blue neatly pressed pants with a very light gray polo shirt. The disgruntled Ranger had accepted the clothing she'd 'helped' him pick out with ill grace, still not over having to hunt down the dog and his tags. It had taken a bit of bullying however to get him to sit for her to neatly comb the unruly hair again.

"If I wanted ta go bein' filthy, I wouldn't be dressed so nattily right now." He lifted a palm at Scarlett. "Compliments ta yer daughter again on pickin' out the clothin', of course."

Paddy turned to SnakeEyes. "His accent really does get stronger when he gets annoyed."

SnakeEyes nodded, absorbed in jiggling the baby and making her giggle happily. *When we get brand new recruits, sometimes none of us have any idea what he's screaming at them. The poor newbies just have to guess by body language and luck.*

BeachHead pointed at him and growled low. "Yew bettah be glad yew holdin' a baby, spook. Otherwise.. "

SnakeEyes tilted his head at Paddy in a amused fashion. *See? Much more annoyed and he'll lose everything but the vowels.." Another low growl came from the Ranger and Scarlett took his arm gently.

She gave a little tug. "Calm down, he's just teasing you again." She even scowled at her partner. "Leave Beach alone, you're just a danged ole' Yankee anyways." Beach looked slightly mollified. "Oh Beach.. just to rub SnakeEyes' face in this little fact... do you eat boiled peanuts?"

He blinked at her with mild confusion on his face. "A'course.. don't everyone?"

SnakeEyes exchanged a long suffering look with her. *Peanuts should be roasted, perhaps with honey, not boiled until they are soggy and vile.*

Now Beach gained an insufferably smug expression. "I even once boiled peanuts at the base.. they were excellent." Scarlett looked suitably impressed. "Both of you were gone then.. one of the missions. I'm surprised no one ever commented about it. Considering how much of a hubbub there was when I was doin' it." SnakeEyes listened to the accent disappearing as the Ranger calmed himself down. He was almost tempted to pick a squabble just to bring it back again, but BeachHead really had had a hard time so far. He'd take it easy on him today on the holiday.

Scarlett poked him with an elbow. "Probably a hubbub because you were in the kitchen and didn't burn the place down. A miracle." He smirked back at her.

SnakeEyes snorted at him. *Told you to stop flirting with my girlfriend.*

BeachHead eyed him a little suspiciously then edged out of easy kicking range. "Jus' remember, you're holding a innocent baby who shouldn't be exposed to any violence.. especially violence directed at me.. for instance."

SnakeEyes pointed at him. *Watch your step BeachHead.*

"My step?? Me? So.. I shouldn't go.. " Beach put one arm around a surprised Scarlett. "..doin' something as risky as this?" He smiled at the seated commando.

Paddy laughed at them. Beach gave him a grin. Paddy reached out to SnakeEyes for the baby. Beach stopped smiling.

"Aww.. Paddy.. I thought you had my back here... Snakes.. really.. " He pulled away from Scarlett who watched him back up. "Ya know.. jokin'.. I'm jus' bad at tellin' jokes.." He casually stepped back again. "I'm jus' gonna... ya know.. walk 'over there'.. cause.. ya know.. it's not 'over here'. " Without warning the ninja launched off the couch at him, and he let out a undignified yelp and dodged sideways, taking off through the house.

Paddy hefted the baby in his arms and smiled at his daughter. "I do love it when you bring friends home for the holidays, Shana.. it's always exciting." They both raised their faces towards the back of the house when a muffled yelp came from the kitchen. "I'm guessing you should go prevent a murder."

She sighed. "Agaaaaain?" She rolled her eyes and made a show of trudging off through the people, most of whom looked only mildly puzzled at the noise. Scarlett stepped into the kitchen and found BeachHead and SnakeEyes on opposite sides of the kitchen table, poised to dodge. "Alright boys, enough."

SnakeEyes stayed focused on his quarry, signing to her without looking. *I warned him.*

Beach held up a hand, taking a small step to the right, only to step back as he was mirrored by the ninja. "I was kidding.. I'll point out, Scarlett has manhandled me from the second day of this trip!" He darted to the left, slamming to a stop when Snakes started to head him off. "Okaay.. okaay.. it was a friendly arm.. friendly.. as in... we're friends.. like.. umm.. just like you and me.."

SnakeEyes crouched just a little lower. *You. Dead. Messy style.* Amanda was in the corner of the kitchen trying to stay out of range, while Sean watched rather impassively.

Sean looked at his sister. "Hey, sis.. I got fifty bucks that says SnakeEyes leaves less of your friend than will fit in a mason jar." She tilted her head down and gave him one of 'those' looks. "What? I'm betting on YOUR boyfriend."

Sallah dodged in through the door and sized up the entire situation. Then she strode up and stepped in front of BeachHead who gratefully managed to not-quite cower behind her. "SnakeEyes! Stop acting so juvenile!"

The ninja glided around the table and BeachHead backed up, Sallah on the other hand did not. Instead she stepped into the way. "I saaaaid.. stop it." He tilted his head, looking down at the young girl blocking him. "Don't make me kick your butt."

Beach nodded. "Yeah! What she said! Better watch it, kid's a brown belt.. I hear she's got a mean set of brothers too!" He ducked as SnakeEyes pitched a walnut snatched off the table at his head. "Get him Sallah!"

Sallah took a step forward, putting a finger in the center of SnakeEyes chest and pushing. He stared down at her in complete confusion. No one ever dared..

"Now you LOOK HERE!" Her voice was eerily like his girlfriend's voice when SHE got angry. "There will be NO butt kicking in this house. If you have an issue with ANYone, you work it out in the dojo, or by talking. We do not have fistfights in the kitchen." She began to advance on him, and he had little choice other than to back up step by step. "We behave in a civilized manner, like grown-ups, and we settle our differences with calm appropriate... RUN BEACHHEAD!!!" She suddenly shoved the commando out of the kitchen door and slammed it in his surprised face. BeachHead took the opportunity presented and ran out the kitchen's back door, circling the house to come in the front door calmly. Walking in, he nodded politely to some of the relatives he had been introduced to, and quickly found June. He very gratefully picked her up when she demanded it of him, figuring that the only person more powerful in the house would be Aunt Beth, and he wasn't certain that Aunt Beth wouldn't decide he deserved just a little bit of a beating for teasing the resident ninja.

SnakeEyes stared at the closed door and mentally beat himself up. He couldn't believe he'd just been snookered by a teenaged girl no bigger than his leg. Of course.. .it was Scarlett's sister.. so he supposed that made the odds slightly more even. He pushed the door open quietly, as expected, finding his quarry long gone. His glare down at Sallah made her cross her arms and give him a bored look back.

Ninjas knew how to pick battles. He gave her a derisive snort and turned his back on her signing to Scarlett. *Going back to retrieve the baby.* He started to leave and saw Amanda staring at him. *Don't worry, A.M.Y. is safe, I tied her to a tree limb before I tried to murder BeachHead.*

He strode out while Sallah, Sean and Scarlet tried to stifle laughter unsuccessfully. Back out front, he found Paddy reluctant to give up the infant, citing his pressing need for revenge as unsuitable for someone who got to cuddle the baby. He sighed theatrically and Paddy relented and gave Amy back to him.

SnakeEyes discovered something new about social gatherings. When you held the baby in the group, no one minded if you wore a mask, or couldn't speak. Frank tended to hover nearby, probably worried the strange masked man would suddenly kidnap his daughter or something dreadful like he'd drop her accidentally. SnakeEyes turned to him often, making a compliment or asking a question about Amy. Eventually the young man began to relax a little bit. Sallah gave him a stern look when BeachHead joined the group, which the ninja loftily ignored in favor of preening at Aunt Beth who cooed at the baby and told SnakeEyes he was such a good person with children.

*I know. I like the kids. I never get to take care of little ones when I'm on the base.* He turned to Frank and found Amanda standing with her husband. *Thank you for letting me hold her.*

Scarlett draped herself on his arm, resting her cheek against his shoulder and reaching to tickle the infant. "Yeah, Snakes adores the kids, and he'll brag for days back on base about how he got to hold the baby. Wait until Jaye hears about little Amy.. she'll bug you for every detail."

*I know. I'll have to hide to get away from her.* He rocked the baby gently as she began to stretch her hands upward at his face. *Look... she is making the lettersign 's' for SnakeEyes.* Scarlett laughed at his silliness. *See? She knows who her favorite uncle is.* He lifted her up gently and brought her back down, making her giggle. He finally turned and handed her back to Amanda in a swoop that caused the infant to squeal happily.

Amanda smiled at him uneasily. "Thank you for watching her." SnakeEyes studiously did not watch her doing a covert exam of her child. Aunt Beth snagged BeachHead by an arm, taking him off to the kitchen to assist her in some more of the cooking. SnakeEyes hung out with Scarlett mainly, chatting via ASL with a few of her family. When he'd had enough of the crowd, he edged away, heading into the kitchen instead.

"SnakeEyes... be a dear.. do the carrots for the salads." Aunt Beth pointed at the table and plunked down two large bags of robust carrots. He nodded at her and settled in to begin scraping carrots to clean them, happy to do kitchen work rather than socialize in the living room for now. BeachHead was messing around with a lump of pasty looking stuff. Aunt Beth came over and fussed at him about it and made him start over again. It was supposed to be pie dough from her comments.

Given a new batch of flour in a bowl, BeachHead gave an exasperated look at Aunt Beth's back and settled down at the table across from the ninja to stir it up. "Mix well.. how well? Too much and she takes it away, too little and she fusses. This cooking stuff is crazy."

*Technically it's baking if it's a pie.* The commando received a glare. *Just making certain you understand the difference.*

"I ain't no Roadblock, I'm just a kitchen monkey." Despite his griping, BeachHead seemed quite content to help out. SnakeEyes suspected that helping in the kitchen was appealing to the sergeant major for the same reason as it was appealing to himself. Staying away from the majority of the people. "You really come here on all those vacations?"

Coughing in laughter, SnakeEyes scraped the last of the carrots and took them to rinse quickly. Coming back with a large bowl and a grater, he settled in again. Before he started, he looked at his friend. *We don't come here every time. Some times we go to my cabin. Scarlett loves her family, so we come here when she wants.* He picked up the roots to begin grating them into shreds.

Aunt Beth came over briefly to glance at what he was doing. "Perfect. I never have to worry about you catching your fingers on the grater either." She turned to BeachHead who gave her a hopeful look and tilted the bowl to show off his paste. "Well..." The sergeant raised an eyebrow at her. "It'll do."

He beamed at SnakeEyes. "Ya hear that, spook? She said it's perfect." The ninja tilted his head to the side. "She.. said... it's perfect." The tone brooked no disagreement and so SnakeEyes relented and nodded at him, giving him a thumb's up. "Yeah. So now it's gonna be pie?"

Aunt Beth sighed at him and wiped the wooden board down then tossed some flour onto it. "Now, you can make it into a pie shell." She handed him a rolling pin. "You roll it out.. gently.. so it's nice and thin. I'll get the pie pans."

BeachHead hefted the rolling pin with a aggrieved expression. "Bakin' is hard." SnakeEyes continued his own chore and watched him squashing the dough out flat. "That's pretty flat... right?" A shrug seemed to satisfy as an answer. "So... how do I make it pie shaped? Pies ain't flat." Aunt Beth brought over a stack of pans. "Okay.. so how do I make it pie shaped?"

She looked rather puzzled, as SnakeEyes stifled his laughter. "What do you mean.. pie shaped? Pies are round, and we'll trim the edges once it's in the pan so it doesn't droop out farther than the edges of the pan."

BeachHead looked at the pans carefully and then motioned at his rolled out dough. "Yeah.. but.. you know. Pies aren't flat. How am I supposed to make it all.. pie shaped?" He gave the ninja a seriously irritated look. "Shut up SnakeEyes. I don't know these things."

SnakeEyes had already begun coughing in amusement and struggled to stop. Even coughing in laughter would become painful. He saw Aunt Beth still confused and signed to her. *He thinks you have to shape it into the pie pan shape to put it into the pan..*

She rolled her eyes at BeachHead who blinked at her. "Wayne. Really?" She carefully peeled the dough up and laid it over the pan, tucking it into place and easily pinching off the excess. "It drapes into the pan.. see? Now roll this out again.. but cut it the same size as the pan top.. just flip an empty pan over and cut around the edge.. okay?"

"Okay..." Beach waited for her to leave and used the rolling pin to smack SnakeEyes on the arm. "Shut it. I swear.. this is supposed to be all stress-relieving.. that's a joke.. I'm tellin' ya. I coulda stayed at the Pit and run around in my shorts with a wig on and gotta less stress outa the time." He pointed the pin at SnakeEyes again. "You jus' settle down. How'm I supposed to know? I don't go around makin' no pies." He managed to roll out the dough and sat the pie pan right-side-up on top. When he plucked one of his own knives out from the small of his back, he wiped it carefully on a towel and looked at SnakeEyes. "Is this right?"

The ninja paused, weighing the added amusement against the fact that his friend had had enough embarrassment for the next ten years already. *Flip it over.*

BeachHead looked at the dough and pan. "The dough? Ain't this side the same as the other side?"

*The pan... pan pan pan..* Then the mute staggered out through the kitchen back door to stand on the porch coughing wildly. He left BeachHead behind, grumbling to himself. After a few minutes, he went back inside and finished the carrots up, watching BeachHead repeating the performance with the pie dough a few times, without the confusion.

Aunt Beth was rather profuse in her praise of BeachHead's efforts, sensing his annoyance at his own ineptitude. SnakeEyes mirrored her efforts, although he didn't feel much guilt for his own laughter. He felt the entire trip was good for BeachHead's ego, given his high level of skill in his chosen fields, a few failures in things he wouldn't ever 'need' to do again wouldn't hurt much. In addition, it was greatly amusing.

* * * *

Tables were moved about, brought in from storage. BeachHead got drafted to carry a stack of plates while Sallah set the table with them. He sighed at the hubbub of conversations. Scarlett was helping put out glasses and chatting with her brothers, who were probably caught up briefly with the dish washing.

SnakeEyes stood to one side in a corner, unnoticed by everyone. It wasn't that they overlooked him, it was a oft used ability of a ninja to blend in and stay still and unseen. Many times it wasn't that he was hidden, but that he was still. Although.. drop ceilings were useful. He glanced sideways with his eyes only and saw Sioban coming in through the door. Drifting his way to the side, he got Scarlett's attention.

*Sioban just arrived.* He watched her face go from happy and relaxed to irritated. *Maybe she'll behave.*

"Yeah right." His gorgeous lady put down the last glasses and went to see what her sister was doing. He followed her quietly. "There she is.. oh great. She's already found BeachHead." Gently slipping one hand over her shoulder, he bent and brushed his chin along her hair. "I know.. "

*They aren't fighting.* He inhaled through the cloth mask, easily catching the scent of her shampoo and the light perfume. He kept his attention mainly on the pair near the doorway, Sioban's posture showing her superior attitude, while BeachHead's neck stiffened and his head lowered slightly, the posture familiar to SnakeEyes after a few years of seeing the Sergeant major interact with people he'd rather avoid. After a moment, BeachHead nodded shortly to her and they walked away from each other. *Did they just... not fight?*

Scarlett shook her head. "I think so.. scary as that thought is.. maybe she is going to behave today." She turned and slipped her arms around SnakeEyes' waist. "That would be nice. How are you doing? You're going to eat at the table right?" He turned his face aside slightly and she reached a hand up to slide it along the nape of his neck, pressing her face into his shoulder and exhaling warm breath along his collarbone. "You know it'd make me very... very happy if you would." She felt him sigh a long slow sigh.

*I have no idea what I'm agreeing to.. but yes. You know I can't say no when you do that to me..* Her fingers stroked along his neck lightly and he tilted his head over to press his cheek against the top of her head. He felt the heat of her body where she pressed against his hip. *I love you. You have no idea what you do to me.*

Her voice was the softest of purrs against his throat. "Oh.. I have a general idea of what I do to you.. on occasion." He let his eyes drift partially shut and twisted just a little as her free hand traveled up his back, sliding under the edge of his sweater.

"Hey you two.. get a room." Scott jabbed at Scarlett's rib as he passed and SnakeEyes felt her jump as they pulled apart. "Geez.. you'd think you were newly discovered to each other instead of some regular old dating couple."

SnakeEyes glared through his mask at the young man. *Your room.*

Scott sneered at him. "I dare you." He suddenly saw the body posture change and stepped backwards rapidly. "Oh... kidding!! Not on my bed please."

SnakeEyes looked down at his pliable girlfriend. *First... let's do it regular.. then we'll get creative.. especially that one where your leg goes around...*

Scott covered his eyes. "Stop stop!! Please.. I give.. uncle.. whatever you want.. stop the sharing now!!" He turned and walked toward the kitchen with his hand over his eyes still. "I'm gonna tattle to Aunt Beth.. "

Scarlett slipped arms around his waist. "Are you ready for dinner? We're about to start putting food out..."

SnakeEyes sighed and nodded. He really preferred to never eat in company.. but this one time of the year, he made the exception, just to please Scarlett.. and only at the end of the table. It set his nerves on edge, the entire time, and he wore a mask anyway.. just a lessened mask, that he was able to wear while eating. *I'll go change.. if you'll keep an eye on BeachHead and Sioban. No fights.*

She nodded and turned him loose. "No promises, but go on."

He headed upstairs, changing his shirt and mask carefully, looking in the mirror in the room for several minutes adjusting the mask to cover the maximum of skin and still allow him to eat. Dark sunglasses hid his eyes. His hair flopped over the front, covering his forehead. With most of the scarring hidden, he took a deep breath, dreading the time he'd spend without the full mask, having to sign his replies and hope someone near enough understood and would translate, and hoping that this year Sioban would forgo her normal attacks on him. The fact that she'd actually had some sort of exchange with BeachHead without it turning into a minor nuclear war spoke volumes for the likelihood of that happening this year.

Standing up, he left the room and walked down the stairs slowly. He stopped briefly at the bottom step and Aunt Beth spotted him and held out a hand.

"Come on SnakeEyes.. come to dinner with us.. we're waiting for you." Her warm smile made him feel welcome. He walked to her, and let her slip an arm around him, urging him into the dining room and the yearly fellowship of Scarlett's family.

* * * *

End chapter:

I hope you enjoyed this long chapter from SnakeEyes' POV. Yes.. Sioban is able to be human once in a while. It probably won't last long, so don't fall in love with her.

I hope it won't be quite as long between chapter updates. We'll have to see how it all goes. Reviews and comments always welcome.


	22. Chapter 22: Thanksgiving Dinner

Chap 22

Finally, it's Thanksgiving Dinner with the O'Hara family.

No long forward this time. Reviews are appreciated a HUGE amount. Thank you for reading. I don't own them, just borrowing for a little while.

* * * *

It was, without a smidgen of a doubt, the loudest meal that BeachHead had ever participated in. He'd been in messhalls in BASIC, eaten on the run in a Ranger loaded Huey flying over a tank division, been a minor part in the infamous christmas riot over in the jungle when they served dried chipped beef rather than the promised turkey.. and nothing had ever prepared him for the uproar of an O'Hara thanksgiving dinner.

He had managed to get seated near the far end of the table, with Jack between himself and SnakeEyes. His mute friend had gotten the corner of the table furthest in the shadows, which he understood. He had been surprised to see him appear to eat with such a large group. Over twenty people were seated in a room, with more food than he could believe could fit on the table.

Leaning forward, he spoke to SnakeEyes around Jack who was holding a loud conversation with Uncle Bobby across the table from them.

"Hey Snakes.. I gotta say.. it's a little bit different than eatin' in the messhall back on base.. jus' sayin'." He could almost hear the coughing laughter over the conversation.

SnakeEyes signed back to him. *At least you can always see what I'm saying during the dinner, certainly hard to hear any of the rest.*

"Ha. Yeah. What?" He leaned and focused to listen to June a few people down and across the table. "Yes.. I helped make some of it. Is it good?" He accepted a platter being passed down the table. "What's this?"

Sean shouted down at him. "That's baked yams.. it's good.. eat it Army man, it'll make you big and strong." Beach shook his head at the laughter, spooning a heap onto his plate.

"Yeah yeah.. then I better eat a LOT of it, huh?" He passed it further down. "Where's that specially spiced turkey ya'll said I'd love so much?"

Aunt Beth suddenly cleared her throat and gazed down at him. "I'd like to say.. there's NO guns allowed at the dinnertable. Sooo.. if there would happen to be any armed seated people.. they need to go unarm themselves."

BeachHead and SnakeEyes both got up, followed shortly by Jack and Uncle Bobby. Beach ducked his head as he passed by her chair. "Sorry ma'am."

They sat the assorted weapons onto Paddy's desk. BeachHead stared at the desktop for a second.

Jack leaned to look at his face. "You know.. she might hug you, and find the other.."

"Geez.. alright alright.." Beach tugged the other two out and put them down as well. He turned to leave the room and SnakeEyes shook a finger at him. "What? Oh.. come on. She ain't gonna hug my leg.." He bent and pulled the snub-nose out of the ankle holster to put it on the table as well. "I gotta eat naked next?"

Jack made a gagging noise. "Oh lord there went my appetite.."

"Can I have yer share?" Beach grinned as Jack mock punched at him. "Oooo, you gonna start a fistfight with me? First I'll wipe the floor with ya.. then I'll tattle to Aunt Beth that ya started a fight with me.."

Jack cowered dramatically. "Oh nooo, you big tattletale. Let's get back before they eat all the food."

BeachHead laughed softly. "They can't eat all of that food."

SnakeEyes snapped his fingers and signed. *Uncle Bobby already is at the table..*

Jack and Beach jumped. "Oh we better rush then!" Jack elbowed them both as they pushed him back and went ahead of him.

Back at the table, the Ranger spread his arms out at Aunt Beth who raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm all unarmed and helpless now.. happy?"

She nodded at him. "As a clam. Go sit down and eat." He seated himself and happily applied himself to his plate of food.

After half an hour, most of the people were slowing down. Scott, Seth and Beach were still making inroads on the food happily. June was doing her best to finish off her own plate, to the encouragement of Seth who sat next to her and kept stealing forkfuls of food when she wasn't looking.

BeachHead swallowed and jerked his chin at the tiny girl. "Now, there's a healthy appetite on that gal. Right June? No silly salads and fad diets for my best gal."

She nodded and wriggled in place, stabbing another bite of turkey. "I likes good food! Not lettuce and maters!" She tapped her fork against Seth's when he tried for her carrots. "No! That's mine!"

Seth laughed and got one of the honey glazed carrots on a second try. "June.. I think your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

She frowned at him. "Nuh-uh!! My eyes is only this big!" She made little circles around them. "And my tummy is this big!" Her frown deepened when he laughed.

BeachHead pointed at the young man with his fork, raising an eyebrow. "She IS right you know."

Seth snorted and went back to his own plate. "Yeah.. you'd agree with her anyway, she's your biggest fan."

"Hey! She's my only fan!" Before the ninja could put down his fork, Beach turned on him. "And you just keep your hands busy with your dinner.. or your girlfriend.. or something.. safe. Yeah. Safe." SnakeEyes stabbed a bit of food and tucked it into his mouth. "Yeah.. what's wrong with you?"

The commando was twisting his head side to side. He raised his hands to sign. *Hate parsnips.. hate hate hate* He looked at the pile on his plate then glared at Jack. *You put parsnips on my plate.* Jack snickered, as did half of that end of the table. *Your room.* Jack stopped snickering, although the rest of the table went to complete laughter.

Sioban sniffed and picked up her wine glass. "Crass."

BeachHead turned to look down the table and narrowed his eyes. "Yep, that's us Army guys, crass and crude and socially unacceptable." She ignored him and he was nudged in the side by Jack.

Jack shook his head. "Yeah.. and muddy.. don't forget muddy.. you like mud, right BeachHead?" There was a smattering of laugher at that too and Beach elbowed the smaller guy.

Paddy lifted a glass and the table quieted.

"As always.. we'll go around the table. Toast to something you are thankful for.." He paused with his glass lifted while everyone settled. "I am thankful for my family.. for all of us being here together, on this day, sharing a meal in the manner of our forefathers." He hefted the glass slightly and sipped, followed by everyone else. Paddy nodded towards his left, and Frank smiled.

The slender man nodded his head at his lovely wife. "I'm thankful for my wife and our beautiful new daughter." As each person made their toast, Beach leaned back to exchange a look with the ninja who nodded at him that they would be expected to comply as well. He sighed and smiled as someone toasted to fresh baked pies, to a spatter of laughter. At least non-somber toasts were acceptable also.

SnakeEyes finally lifted his glass then set it down to be able to sign slowly. Jack translated out loud for the ones that couldn't read his ASL.

*I'm thankful for a peaceful port in a stormy life.* Everyone nodded to that.

Jack sighed and lifted his glass high. "To a respite from law classes." Then he looked at BeachHead.

The Ranger lifted his glass and nodded at Paddy at the head of the table. "To having friends with the most tolerant family in the universe. Thanks for having me." Aunt Beth smiled, and Scarlett let out a soft chuckle.

As more toasts were made, they finally reached Sioban. She raised her glass and looked very deliberately down the table at the two outsiders before focusing on her sister Shana. "To our military members." Everyone froze for a second, but when she sipped at her wine, they followed suit. BeachHead exchanged a look with SnakeEyes who shrugged to show his own confusion. He saw the fingers working at the edge of the table out of view of the rest of the group.

*Let it go, she might be nice today.* The commando gazed at him seriously, telling him with his eyes to not comment. Beach nodded at him, turning away when Aunt Beth beckoned him from the doorway.

"No no.. Wayne helped me make pies.. he can help carry them in.." She shook a finger at Seth who was complaining that he hadn't finished all of the other dishes he wanted to taste yet. "You'll have all night to stuff yourself. Everyone else is ready for some desserts." Turning, she moved back into the kitchen as BeachHead got up to go help.

He smirked at the table as he walked the length of it. "Yeah.. that'd be ME she's letting help with pies.. maybe I'll just eat them all in the kitchen.. ya'll can just..OOMPH!!" When he suddenly disappeared onto the floor, Scott scrambled up from his chair trying to step over him before he recovered.

"Oh no!! LEGGO!! It was.. was an accident!" He went down in a heap as well, with BeachHead wrapping an arm around his knees. "Agh!!!"

"Trip me.. I'll show.." Beach's voice was suddenly muffled.

Jack started to get up and SnakeEyes grabbed his arm and pushed him back into the chair, shaking a finger at him. *They're playing, but about to get in trouble.* The commando went back to eating casually just as Aunt Beth stepped out of the kitchen door.

"Just what is going on here!?" Her unamused tone left no doubt to anyone that her displeasure was about to descend on both of the participants. She bent and lifted both of them up by tight grips on their respective ears. "Are you two boys FIGHTING, in the house?"

"No ma'am!" "No Aunt Beth!" She twisted slightly harder. "His fault!" "Nuh-uh!"

"We do not fight and scuffle about on the floor like barbarians." She walked backwards, bringing them with her by their ears. BeachHead walked slightly bent over, while Scott was walking sideways trying to ease her grip. "You two can just take yourselves outside. When you've worked out your differences in the dojo, you can return to the house like civilized folks." All three disappeared out the door and Aunt Beth returned a second later, shutting the door firmly.

SnakeEyes stood up and signed to her as if nothing had happened. *Do you need help carrying things?*

"Why thank you, SnakeEyes.. yes. It's good to see a nice responsible boy like yourself around. Maybe you can teach some responsibility to that undisciplined friend of yours."

*Yes ma'am.* Inwardly, SnakeEyes was amused by the idea that the strict drill instructor was suddenly considered less disciplined than the ninja that was known for haring off on unofficial missions on his own. He took on the pies she handed him, racking them along his extended arm.

"Don't you drop them." He scoffed at her. "Oh I know.. martial arts master of balance, but you drop one of those cherry pies, and you'll be out in the doghouse with Buster."

He nodded at her, and backed through the kitchen door, setting out the pies along the table. He paused on his way back to his chair to press his cheek against Scarlett's. Her hand slipped up to cup his face briefly. "Doing okay?" He nodded in reply and slipped away to his chair.

Jack was cutting the cherry pie and offered him a slice. "This is the best cherry pie in the WORLD. Aunt Beth should market these. She'd make a killing."

SnakeEyes tilted his head side to side. *Ninjas like pie too. Real whipped cream too. Whipped it myself.* He polished his fingers on his chest as Jack made appreciative noises in mock admiration. *I wonder how long before Scott and BeachHead realize they are allowed back inside?*

Jack shrugged. "As long as it takes long enough for me to get all the pie I want, before those two bottomless-pits come back to eat them all.. I don't care!" His grin made SnakeEyes shake his head.

When Scott came in, he and BeachHead stood to be scolded by the matron for a few moments before they were allowed to go back to the table. The sight of the feared Sergeant major standing patiently to be scolded by a woman who barely came up to his chest was so amusing to the commando that he ended up in a coughing fit of laughter. Jack helpfully pounded his back for him.

"Geez.. SnakeEyes.. I'd hate to see you at a comics convention. You'd just plain die to death from laughing." The youngster turned to BeachHead as he reseated himself. "Hey.. I didn't eat ALL of the cherry pie.."

"Yeah yeah.. I helped make them pies. I better get a piece. I can't believe I get forced to go on vacation.. only to end up on KP duty, fussed at on accounta I get tripped by one-a the hosting family, bullied by that slip of a girlfriend of yours, Snake. That's not enough, I gotta dress up and get laughed at by the resident ninja. What a pain." He dished himself a slice of the cherry pie also. "Hey.. is that whipped cream? That's pretty neat stuff seeing it made. You know it's just cream.. that you whack until it turns foamy."

Jack shook his head. "You're so clueless."

"Yeah yeah.." Dropping a generous dollop of the whipped cream onto his pie, BeachHead passed the dish down the table. "Let's see you field strip and repair a M-16 with a toothpick and a trench knife."

Jack coughed slightly. "You are seriously warped with your sense of abilities that are important."

Now the sergeant major gave him a strange look. "What? Ya don't really think it's more important to be able to make whipped cream than to handle weapons, really? Cause.. I'm tellin' ya.. whipped cream ain't making me give anyone my gun.. but I bet with a M-16, I can get all the whipped cream I want, if'n I was a mind ta act that way." He peered at the younger man calmly as he laughed hard enough to begin choking himself. "Now see? Now, I can jus' take yer pie too." Suiting action to words, he stole half of Jack's remaining slice of pie off his plate.

Jack shook his head. "Fine.. fine. Take my pie.. I'll just get some apple pie.." BeachHead snorted and sipped at the glass of sweet iced tea. "Pass me the pie, Scott!! Hey.. pass that apple pie down!" He grinned at his father. "Da, best dinner ever!"

Paddy pointed a finger at him. "Just because you are just about the only one of the boys that hasn't yet gotten into trouble yet. Don't forget the dishes after dinner. I don't want to see Beth washing a single dish or pan."

Jack grimaced. "Yes sir. We'll be doing all the washing.. thanks so much BeachHead."

The Ranger grinned. "Yer welcome. Anytime. I mean that.. annnnnytime." Jack rolled his eyes.

Tom leaned to speak loudly down the table at them. "Why is it that the boys are doing all the clean-up this year? You boys never answered me when I asked."

Scarlett got a smug smile and tilted her head at BeachHead. "Oh.. my oh-so-intelligent brothers got the wild idea that since BeachHead was 'just' an Army grunt, they should challenge him to see who could do more push-ups." She smirked at the groans and face-hiding from the boys. "They lost.. soundly.. completely.. and even dare I say it... embarrassingly."

Tom shook his head. "Young people. Aren't you a PT instructor BeachHead?" At the nod, he looked at Sean seated near him. "And did you know he was a PT instructor?" Seam nodded sheepishly. "Did you even LOOK at the man's arms before you challenged him?"

"Well..." Sean paused. "It seemed like such a good idea at the time..." He glared at his younger brother. "Scott is in good shape.. I thought he'd have a good chance against a older guy."

Tom looked down the table at the smug Ranger. "And? Not only did you beat him, you're making them wear those pink aprons too?"

BeachHead shook his head. "Original bet was straight up washin' dishes. It wasn't 'til I handicapped myself that the frilly aprons came into it."

Aunt Nancy joined in the conversation. "How in the world can you handicap yourself doing push-ups?"

BeachHead lifted a fork of pie in tribute to the redhead seated down the table from him. "Scar.. ahh.. Shana sat on my back while I did my push-ups." Nancy stared at him. "She does weigh more than a field pack.. she didn't even see fit to warn me she'd been putting on weight, neither."

He was glared at, which he manfully ignored, while completely aware he'd pay for it later. Nancy did make a slightly scoffing noise.

"You can NOT do push-ups with someone sitting on you. That's impossible." She tilted her head at him, obviously waiting for him to admit he'd fibbed.

He raised an eyebrow. "What would YOU like to bet that I can't? I'm game. As long as I can come back and have more pie afterwards. Otherwise, you'll have to wait 'til I get my fill.. cause Jack and June might eat it all afore I can get back."

She looked at her husband who shrugged at her. "I'll tell you what.. you show me you can do.. uhh.. fifty push-ups.. with Shana sitting on you.. with her feet OFF the ground.. and I'll bake you a box of the best cookies you ever tasted. If you can't do it.. you can wash my car."

He perked up. "Will the cookies have nuts in them?" She nodded at him. "Yer on." He tucked a last bite of pie in and pointed at Jack. "Don't eat all the pie.."

"No promises.."

"Don't make me beat you up. Come on Shana.." They went into the living room for space.

Sioban stepped into the room and snorted. "This is a classy display of why I don't like.." She shut her mouth abruptly as Aunt Beth stared at her.

Sean leaned over to SnakeEyes. "He just ate fifty pounds of food. He's gonna puke before he passes twenty."

The ninja shook his head. *Fifty bucks says he does it without even gagging.* Sean reached to slap his hand firmly. *I only take cash and fudge.*

Sean snorted. "No way he's gonna do it."

BeachHead stretched his shoulders a little and went to the floor. Nancy stood next to him and watched Scarlett seat herself on the center of his back, bringing her legs up to sit crosslegged. The older lady shook her head as he waited for her to get settled.

"Don't forget.. fifty.. no less. All the way to the floor too.. no just dipping down a little." She crossed her arms and waited.

BeachHead snorted. "Yeah yeah.. no girly push-ups neither I suppose?" He dropped to the floor low enough to almost touch his nose to the wood. "One.. two.. three.."

When he passed thirty, Uncle Bobby looked at his wife. "I think it's a good thing you like to bake." Nancy shook her head.

Sean leaned over. "Dude.. you ate half the table of food.. aren't you feeling a little ill?"

BeachHead shook his head. "Thirty-four.. no way, I don't lose mah dinner easy.. thirty-five.. especially not really.. thirty-six.. good food.. thirty-seven.."

SnakeEyes smirked at the eldest of the brothers. *Cash.. or fudge.*

Sean sighed. "Yeah yeah.. I know.. just because I know you'd prefer it, I'll do fudge. You'll have to end up sharing with BeachHead if he finds out though."

*No way. Sharing with Shana.. yes. BeachHead is on his own. He's getting cookies.* The commando watched his friend finish up the fifty and pause to let Scarlett off his back. *I like the milk chocolate fudge.. just to let you know.*

BeachHead stood up and arched his back, making it pop. "Dang Shana, I think ya added a pound or two since the start of the week." He turned to see her narrowing her eyes at him and ducked reflexively. "Don't kick me in the head! I'm sorry! Ya look great!!"

She crossed her arms and glared. "You're just piling up the brownie points, aren't you?"

He shrugged at her. "I keep pointin' out that I didn't wanna come on this trip.. In fact.. it was mainly yer idea if I don't disremember."

"Yeah.. I know." She gave a light punch at his shoulder which he deliberately didn't duck.

June tugged at his leg then. "Jack is eatin' your pie." He scrambled to head out of the room, while Scarlett laughed softly at him.

Nancy shook her head. "That's inhuman. I wouldn't believe it was possible."

Scarlett just shrugged. "Not really. It's just that he trains a lot. He probably does more physical work every day than any civilian job there is. Running the PT training takes a lot, because he runs up and down the courses, follows all the groups on their runs, and that's on top of his own personal PT and the freakish ten mile run he enjoys every morning. Once all of that is done, he starts on his real job of being a Sergeant major. I know I couldn't do it. There were a tiny group of us that decided to shadow him one day, and that was a nightmare. Crazy. I'm happy to just stick with training hand-to-hand. That's plenty of work for me."

Tom hummed softly. "What about SnakeEyes? Could he outlast BeachHead?"

Scarlett tried to look as if it were a boring idea. "I'm not sure. Snakes can wipe the floor with him any time in fighting ability. Otherwise.. I don't think we've ever managed to pit them against each other head-to-head. I don't think they'd agree to it, honestly. Despite the occasional squabble, they're pretty good friends. Poor Beach doesn't have many friends."

Amanda looked at the kitchen door in puzzlement. "But.. why? He seems nice enough, odd.. but nice I guess. He's very polite."

Scarlett grinned at her description. "Yes.. well.. that's because he's not training any of you. He's not so polite when he's yelling that you aren't running fast enough and calling you a 'maggot'. We call him 'Sergeant Hardass' for a reason.. and it doesn't have to do with his muscle tone." They laughed politely. "He's a really good guy down deep. It's just his job to be that way."

Amanda sighed lightly. "Well I don't think I'll ever understand the appeal of being in the Army. It seems so.. terrible."

Scarlett put an arm around the young mother. "It's not for everyone. I think we'd better get back to dessert before the boys eat all of it. I don't think Aunt Beth has brought out that really lovely pound cake yet.."

Aunt Beth raised an eyebrow. "No.. I was waiting for the boys to fill up on pie first."

Tom laughed heartily at that. "Those boys never fill up, they just pause in eating to catch their breath."

The matron laughed at his comment. "Well, I think they've paused for breath.. maybe it's time for cake." When they went in, they found a lively discussion going between the boys and June and BeachHead over the merits of various types of pie. "Oh.. well.. maybe we'll say they are distracted rather than pausing for breath.."

BeachHead looked up. "Aunt Beth.. tell these pogues that punkin pie counts against fruit pies."

She frowned. "In what capacity.. wait.. no no. I'm not being drawn into one of you boys' arguments over food. It's always ridiculous."

Scott pointed at BeachHead with his fork. "Now see? Aunt Beth said it's ridiculous." He stabbed over and scooped up a bite of BeachHead's pumpkin pie off his plate. "Besides.. a good shoo-fly pie beats them all.. hands down."

The sergeant perked up. "Ya'll got a shoo-fly pie? I didn't get any."

Sean was shaking his head at them. "BeachHead.. you're gonna explode, where are you putting all that food?"

BeachHead patted his leg loudly. "Hollow leg.. store up pie in it. Comes in handy in lean times." He happily accepted the nearly empty pie pan with only a single thin slice. "Thanks fer saving me some.. geez. Real Shoo-fly pie.. haven't had that in years."

Sean got up and gave him a slap on one shoulder. "I'll give you the recipe. It's not hard." He paused. "Well.. you should be able to either make it poorly enough that someone will take pity on you and make it for you.. or a big enough disaster to get them to make it for you to keep you out of the kitchen."

"Ha ha ha. Very funny." BeachHead lifted up from his seat to peer down the table. "What's that one?"

"Good lord.. seriously? Okay.. that's rhubarb pie.. you want that one too?" Sean started to lift the pan.

"No.. that's okay.. I'll pass on that one." BeachHead finished off the last of his pumpkin pie and pointed at the one next to Jack. "Isn't that pecan?"

"Good lord.. you mean there's something you won't actually eat?" Sean put a hand over his chest. "I'm stunned."

Beach snorted while dishing himself a slice of pecan pie. "Not that I won't eat rhubarb.. but if there's something I like better.. ya know.. it's rhubarb. I'll eat dried monkey meat if I'm hungry, but I'd prefer pecan pie."

Aunt Beth came through and picked up two empty pans from their end of the table. "I figure I'd better remove these before Wayne eats the pie pans. I just hope the silverware is safe." In response, he tucked the fork into his mouth and sucked the last bits off. "Please don't eat the fork."

"I won't. Too hard to digest." He tilted his head to the side as she gave him a fond pat. "Been a long time since I had such good food. You're the best cook I ever met."

"Why thank you Wayne.. that's very sweet of you. I have to go bring out that cake..."

He immediately perked up. "Cake? There's cake?" She sighed. "You did mention cake.."

"Yes of course.. you're just making up for all the years you haven't had good home cooked meals." She smoothed his hair with a few strokes of her hand. "And here I thought feeding Paddy's four boys would be the problem."

He blushed just a little. "Sorry.. I've been called a bottomless pit before. Our medic made us all keep a record once of how many calories we eat a day. He threw out my records, on accounta I skewed all the percentages off." He smiled. "And that's on messhall food."

She shook her head and laughed at him. "It's not a problem.. good to see someone who appreciates good food, that obviously doesn't need to worry about overeating." She pinched his cheek which he tolerated. "Now how about that cake?"

"Yes ma'am." He watched her head into the kitchen, while Scarlett and Amanda sat back down at the table. Most of the group were still seated, either talking or enjoying desserts. Sioban sat only a few seats down and Beach leaned to peer at her. "Going to have cake, Sioban?" His casual drawl gave no hint to anything.

She suspiciously looked him over. "Perhaps. I don't normally... indulge to the degree you obviously do." Her hooded gaze flicked away and back to him, checking that Aunt Beth was still out of the room, he thought.

"Yeah, I ain't gotten the opportunity to taste homecookin' in years, so I guess I'll indulge this one time. Ain't like I'll get any future opportunities." He sipped at his iced tea for a second. "You should have cake."

After thinking about his comments a second, she blurted out. "Why?"

He set his glass down carefully. "Cause everyone oughta have some good homemade cake once in a while. Family occasion.. you oughta go ahead and have cake, cause, what's it gonna hurt?"

She sniffed in a haughty manner but turned away rather than respond. BeachHead exchanged a glance with SnakeEyes who had settled back in his corner. They shrugged at each other.

*I'm having cake.* The ninja patted his own stomach. *Aunt Beth says I'm too thin.*

BeachHead snorted at him. "You stay skinny so you can sneak your way into everywhere.. danged slippery spook."

Jack elbowed him. "Hey! Don't pick fights with SnakeEyes!"

The sergeant major looked at him with slight annoyance. "What? You think I'm scared he'll kick my butt?"

Jack tilted his head and smacked his arm. "No, I think you'd better be scared Aunt Beth will overhear and send both of you outside and you'll miss out on the cake, dummy."

BeachHead settled immediately. "I'm shuttin' up.. I'm shuttin' up."

* * * *

"I'm gonna die. Right here."

Scarlett smiled at the Sergeant major seated on the floor next to the fireplace. He'd managed to lean back against the corner of the couch and relax. "I knew that some day, we'd manage to fill you up, Beach."

"Cruel woman.. " He took a deep satisfied breath. "If I explode and die, it was alllll worth it." He turned a smile on her. "That was hands down the best meal ever."

Aunt Beth was relaxing on the far end of the couch and seemed quite pleased. "Well it took a great deal more food than I would ever have guessed, but I'm happy that we did finally get Wayne to 'full'. If he keeps complimenting me, I'll get a big head and decide to take him home with me."

Beach had to laugh. "I think our commanding officer would come fetch me back. But I think if you offered cherry pie in trade, he might let you keep me."

SnakeEyes shifted over in his chair, letting Scarlett snuggle deeper into his lap. *I'd recommend trading some of the other Joes for some cherry pies. Then we'd offer to take them back.. for more cherry pies to remove them from your house.* He sighed lightly and settled his arms around the redhead lying against his chest.

Most of the cousins others had left for the various places they were staying. Sarah had left with Dan and Kevin to go see his family earlier. Without Kevin in the house, June had gone with her parents to the hotel they were staying at. With it down to the immediate family, SnakeEyes had relaxed again.

Beach yawned widely, covering his mouth with his fist. "Sorry.. I'm completely done in. Unngh.." He made a half-hearted try to get up and failed. "Oh.. forget it. I'm sleepin' right here. Someone throw a blanket on my head and kick me awake in the mornin'." He let himself slide down the couch to lie on the floor. He was pelted in the head with a pillow from Seth.

"No way.. we tried that already. You fall asleep on the floor.. I'll just let Buster in to wake you up." Seth whapped him with the pillow again. "Hey.. maybe now I could beat you on push-ups."

"You wanna have a go at it?" BeachHead managed to sound hopeful, while bluffing through his teeth. For the first time in.. ever.. barring injury.. he didn't think he would be able to get his cheek off the floor. "What ya wanna bet this time?"

Seth held up his hands. "No.. no way. No bet. I think I've seen enough to not go into that." He stretched himself and got up. "I'm going to go put away those last dishes. Sure you don't want to come help, BeachHead?" He walked around the end of the couch to leave the room, and stepped very deliberately in the center of the Ranger's stomach instead of over him. He was rewarded with a loud groan.

"Yer killin' me." Beach swatted at his leg as he scooted out of range. Sitting himself back upright, he ran fingers through his hair to straighten it which mussed it up completely instead. "Yer boys are jus' tryin' to off me, Paddy."

Scarlett pointed at the side table. "Sallah.. go get my comb so I can fix Beach's hair. I swear.. you can't keep it neat more than an hour at a time."

Trying to smooth it, he pointed at her. "Naw.. it's fine. I swear I should have clipped it all off before I left.. if'n you'd have given me more than an hour's warning.."

She scolded at him lightly. "If I had given you more warning, you'd probably have managed to hide somewhere so you didn't have to go."

"Probably so.." He admitted ruefully. "Hey.. come on.." Sallah had settled on the couch and firmly taken hold of a hank of his hair. "It's bad enough when yer sister does it.. I don't need you combing it too.."

She gave a light yank on the hair she held. "Just hold still and stop being such a baby." He stopped moving and grumbled. It was only a minute before she turned him loose. "There.. see? Was that so bad?"

"Yes."

"Well suck it up, big bad Ranger." Sean laughed softly at them both. "See? Even Sean thinks you're being a big baby."

Sean held up both hands. "Oh no.. no dragging me into it. You're on your own."

BeachHead yawned widely again and Scarlett laughed softly at him. "Okay BeachHead.. time for you to go to bed. We've kept you up three hours past your bedtime."

He sighed and nodded. "Otherwise, I'm gonna fall asleep right here. Sorry."

Sean got up and reached down to drag BeachHead to his feet by one arm. "Up.. good lord you're heavy."

Laughing at his theatrics, the Ranger stretched a little bit. "Hey.. it's all muscle."

Sallah smiled at him from her seat on the couch. "BeachHead has a lot of muscle, Sean. Most guys don't have nearly as impressive muscles."

Sean exchanged a glance with BeachHead. "Oh.. yeah.. impreeeeessive." He suddenly flicked a punch towards the Army man's chest. Beach blocked it with a forearm and pushed it aside. "Ooooo, and fast..." Pulling his hands in, Sean rose to the balls of his feet.

BeachHead shook his head. "No, not playing that game." He turned his back and headed for the stairs. "Good night everyone."

There was a soft chorus repeating the wishes. Once he disappeared upstairs, Paddy crooked a finger at his eldest son. "Here. Now." Sean blinked in confusion and came to stand by him. "What did I tell you about fighting with him?"

"But Da.. I wasn't fighting.."

He was cut off immediately. "Sean. Don't you dare try to split hairs with me. You will NOT attempt to fight or spar or whatever you'll call it with BeachHead. You will especially not sucker punch at him without warning that way."

"Yes Da."

Paddy fixed his gaze on his son. "I know that you boys are used to rough-housing with everyone. But you were told.. warned.. not to try that sort of shenanigans with Shana's friend. He would injure you. And then he would feel very bad about it. And then I would be angry. So let's avoid all of that unpleasantness and not.. pick.. fights. Otherwise, I WILL ask him and SnakeEyes to take you boys into the dojo and teach you humility in the most painful manner possible."

"Yes Da."

"Good. Now go make sure your brothers cleaned up the kitchen and put away the food properly."

Sean nodded sheepishly and schlepped himself into the kitchen. Aunt Beth watched him go and nodded to herself. "Those boys get awfully rowdy at times. I'm taking myself to my bed as well. Sallah.. time for you to get to bed." She swatted the girl on her rear. "Up and to bed. You're too young to be sitting up to all hours of the night."

Sallah barely protested as she disappeared into the back of the house with the matriarch.

SnakeEyes and Scarlett bid good night to the other family members as they all disappeared to nightly rituals. The ninja continued to cradle his girlfriend in front of the banked fire. Her head slid back to nestle in the hollow of his shoulder and she let out a soft sigh.

"Such a good day.. good dinner, and good evening." He nodded and tilted his head to rest his cheek against hers. "I love you, and I adore when we can have this sort of time to ourselves." His sigh of contentment answered her. "I could sleep right here."

He freed one hand to be able to answer her. *My left leg is going numb.*

She scowled. "Nice way to break the mood, lover."

*Leg going numb.. not my fault.*

"It is too your fault. You can squish yourself into a cargo container for twenty hours of transport hiding ninja style.. but you can't have me in your lap for an hour without saying your leg is going to sleep?" She snorted playfully at him. "I think you just need more training."

*Yes. We should sit in the Rec Room like this every evening to train. I'm certain that if we place a 'no Hawk allowed' sign on the door we'd get away with it.*

She poked his ribs, which he ignored. "Don't get all snarky with me. Besides, if BeachHead has mellowed enough to not be fussing at us about it, maybe Hawk would ignore it."

SnakeEyes gazed down at her with a frown. *I would not put Hawk in that position, he's turned a blind eye to so much for us for a long time.*

She tried a harder jab which he also ignored. "I know I know.. joking. I am happy with how well this trip has gone so far though. I think it's been a great holiday away from base."

Shifting his weight to the side again, the commando nodded. *Once they fed him pie, even BeachHead liked the trip I think.*

"Well, you know what they say about 'the way to a man's heart...' "

There was a soft snort. *Between the second and third rib just to the side of the breastbone.. for the fastest and most efficient path with the least amount of resistance to a bladed weapon.*

"Lover.. you really REALLY know how to ruin the mood. Just saying."

*Leg still going numb.*

* * * *

End Chapter:

Hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to review if you are so inclined. I'm hungry now after spending all this time writing about food. I'd like pie. Peach pie to be specific. Mmmm.

For those that want to follow his antics... Lil' Beachie is now on Twitter. His name there is " LilBeachie " and he'd love to have followers! There'll be pics and comments from him, when he feels like it. He's pretty mouthy though.


	23. Chapter 23: Cold morning & Karate Class

Chap 23

Yes! A new chapter! The food was grand, and now it's the day after Thanksgiving.. what to do, what to do...

As always, I don't own them, don't make money from writing about them, but I truly appreciate your reviews letting me know what you enjoy or not. They'll be leaving the O'Hara's on saturday afternoon.. soo it's getting close.

* * * *

BeachHead blinked and twitched himself awake. Flicking his gaze through the dark room, he held still, listening. Nothing. Twisting his head a little, he looked at the clock to see it was his normal morning wake-up time. He took a deep breath and held it for a second to stretch under the covers. His nose was cold. Flipping the covers down, he kicked them aside and sat up, shivering suddenly. "Danged cold.." Seth rolled under his covers and poked out a single eye to peer at him blearily. "Sorry.. didn't mean to wake ya up." As soft as his voice had been, it obviously was enough to wake the other young man.

"Ugh.. it's okay. I always wake up when you get up." Seth reached up and scratched at his head and tucked his hand back under the covers. "Just.. you don't usually say anything.. man, it got cold overnight."

Beach snorted at that. "It's been cold.. it's just really danged cold this morning." He shivered again, and shook his head trying to wake himself up. "Sorry I been waking ya up."

"No big deal.. I just go back to sleep. You're crazy, getting up at this hour.. to go exercise. You know.." Seth shifted himself around under the thick comforter a moment. "Exercise does the body just as much good if it happens at a decent hour of the day."

"Naw... early mornin' is the best time. Get ya up and running properly. Come on.. come on a run with me." Beach grinned at the uninspired grunt he received as a reply. "Lazybones."

"Yeah.. go run in the freezing cold, crazy Ranger." He tucked his chin under the covers further. "Freeze your nuts off out there this morning."

"Last chance.. young bull like you, oughta be up at the crack of dawn.." Seth didn't seem to be about to take the bait, so BeachHead finished pulling on his fatigue pants and boots. Shivering again, he dug out a long sleeved tee-shirt to put on. Despite the boots, he made little noise at all going down the stairs and out of the kitchen door.

He rushed through his normal exercises, the chill beginning to settle on him despite the workout. Running down the quiet road, he settled into an easy lope. It felt good to be out and moving, although it seemed rather lonely to not have any kids appearing to pester him. Once he was running, his body warmed just enough to not be miserable. His breath steamed in the still air. The further he ran, the more signs of life he noticed. People were moving around, some cranking up vehicles to leave running to warm up. Garage doors were opening. It was so early, he was surprised and wondered why this morning people would be awake and moving. Maybe lots of people were going to go back home from visiting relatives this morning... early.. really early.

"Crazy civies." He reached the end of the five miles he judged in his head and slammed to a stop to wheel and speed off in a sprint, just to have a difference in his run. After sprinting far enough to cause him to breathe hard, he settled back down to his lope.

A loud 'whoop-whoop' of a siren from behind him made him whirl. A police cruiser pulled over on the shoulder of the road behind him, the lights beginning to flash. BeachHead stopped and walked back towards the car, stopping well in front of it.

The officer that stepped out looked rather unamused. "Is there some issue?"

He spread his hands to the side carefully. "No sir. Just going fer a run." He noted the hand that was resting on the holstered sidearm.

"Going for a run at this hour? Carrying a pistol?" The skepticism was plain in the man's voice. "Hands on your head... please."

BeachHead placed his hands as directed, but stepped backwards when the officer began to approach. "I need to see your ID, sir."

As soon as he moved, the cop's gun had come out of the holster, although it was still pointing at the ground, and he noted to himself, the safety was still engaged. It was risky for him to move while confronting a police officer, but then, it would be more risky to let an unknown approach him with a weapon without being certain he was actually a peace officer.

"Alright.. if you're going to cause trouble.." The cop fished his ID out, and held it up to show his identification badge. "That good enough for you?" Sarcasm dripped off of his voice.

"Yes sir." BeachHead stood still. "I'm a Sergeant major in the US Army, special unit. Just going for my morning run, sir. I'm armed." He narrowed his gaze as the man approached.

"Okay.. I'm just going to relieve you of your weapon here.." He gingerly lifted the handgun from his shoulder holster and sat it on the hood of his patrol car. "Okay, now that we're a bit more friendly.. where do you belong?"

"O'Hara residence, three miles north on this road. I'm on vacation with friends." He watched the officer's eyes go suspicious.

"You're staying with Jason O'Hara?"

BeachHead shook his head. "No sir.. Paddy O'Hara, Shana is my friend." He saw the cops suddenly relax. "And the rest of the two hundred members of that family."

"Okay.. put your hands down. If you're part of Paddy's house, you're okay." He was handed his weapon back and stuck it back into place immediately. "What are you doing out here running around at this hour?"

"Running. I run every morning. I'm from out west.. it's later in the day to me." BeachHead tried not to shiver, as the longer he stayed in one spot, the more the chill settled into him.

"Ranger in the Army, huh? I guess you look the part. I wasn't feeling all that safe even with you unarmed.. you just look a bit dangerous." He tilted his head slightly as BeachHead laughed shortly.

"I wasn't unarmed. You really ought ta be more careful and search folks when ya think they might be armed." He swung his arms and let out a breath, watching it turn to vapor in the cold. "So.. not ta cut this short or nuthin' but I'm about ta start freezin' out here, standin' still and all."

"Sure sure.." His advice had made the cop sound disgruntled. "Take off, just try not to.. umm.. look dangerous while running in the mornings." He walked back to his car, muttering to himself.

"Thank you sir." BeachHead turned and headed back along the road. The police cruiser passed him at a slow speed with the lights off. He puffed out a sigh, and sped up into his loping run to return to the house. "At leas' he didn't try ta shoot me first.."

To his surprise, when he arrived back at the house, the lights were on and he could see movement. He paused to kick his boots against the steps before entering the kitchen. Aunt Beth opened the door as he stepped up to it.

"Get IN here, Wayne! Are you insane!?" He was dragged inside by an arm, despite the fact that he was headed inside all on his own. "You'll catch your death of cold.. get inside here.. " She gave him a push towards the living room. "Go get warmed up by the fire. Sean! Take this fool to warm up! Get him a blanket.. where is your coat?"

He sputtered, trying to protest. "I'm fine.. it's not that cold out.." Sean elbowed him. "Stop pushing me!"

"Just go warm up." Sean gave him one of those significant looks he always missed.

"But.."

"Just... go." He was given a harder shove and went into the living room to stand near the fireplace. Sean brought a throw blanket to hold up to the heat and then drape over his shoulders, ignoring his sigh. "Hush, just warm up and nod your head. I'll fill you in later."

Beach stood next to the fire and shivered. He'd been lots colder, but for right now he'd just warm up and let them fuss over it. After a few minutes, Aunt Beth came out to check on him and tugged the blanket a bit more snugly across his shoulders.

"I'm really fine."

She shook her head. "You're too foolish to be let out on your own, Wayne. It's freezing outside, and you aren't even wearing a coat."

He looked at the fire and tried to decide whether to nod or explain. "Yes ma'am."

"I've never seen a grown man so stubborn. When you go outside and it's freezing, you wear a coat. You don't walk out in a teeshirt and pants."

"Yes ma'am." He gazed at her out of sincere brown eyes, patiently being scolded and waiting her out. Eventually she ran out of things to say and stood there frowning at him. "I'm sorry." He figured you could never go too wrong saying you were sorry. Even if you hadn't a clue why you were in trouble.

She sniffled, much to his horror. "Oh gawd! I am sorry! Don't.. don't go cryin' on me!" She shook her head and suddenly hugged his chest tightly. "Okay.. do some huggin'.. not no cryin'. I don't deal well with cryin' ladies. Well.. 'less I can jus' yell at ya to do a buncha pushups.." She let out a half laugh. "Since I can't do that with ya, I'm outa tricks.. see? So no cryin'."

"Stop it." She turned loose and wiped at her eyes some. "You promise me, you'll put on a... a jacket.. a sweater.. something. If it's really cold out, you put on some clothes!" She put a finger up at him. "If I catch you outside like that again, I swear I'll take you out back with a willow switch, big grown man or not!"

He stepped backwards just a little bit and nodded. "Yes ma'am." She glared just a minute longer. "Can I help with breakfast or something?"

"You can go make yourself whatever you like. I'll be leaving in a few minutes, we're going shopping." She walked into the kitchen and he dropped the throw blanket onto the couch to follow her.

"Shopping? Really? Will any stores even be open this early? Hi Scarlett.. up early for once?" He was elbowed by Sarah who was dressed and looking awfully awake for this hour. In fact, he noted that all the ladies were up and dressed, as was Jack and Seth.

Sarah gave him an exasperated look. "Of course the stores will be open.. it's Black Friday." He gave her a blank look while edging towards the leftover pie he'd spotted on the counter.

Scarlett took pity on him. "Beach, it's the biggest shopping day of the year. The day after Thanksgiving, all the stores are open at the wee hours of the morning and run super sales. It's a tradition to go shopping today." He nodded and tried to inhale without being obvious.

"Uh-huh. So ya'll are all gonna go shopping?" Another step and he'd be able to get it.

Aunt Beth raised one eyebrow at him and he froze. "Wayne, I said you could make yourself breakfast, not that you could eat leftover pie for breakfast."

He thought about it, and eyed the pie once more. "I'll put it on a plate.."

"You'll leave it alone and eat breakfast, make yourself some eggs and toast." Her eyes held him in place and he sighed.

"I'll just burn it." He picked up the loaf of bread and then sniffed at it. "Is this cinnamony bread?"

Sean looked. "Uhh.. yeah. I made it yesterday. Nice and fresh." He smiled at Beach's happy expression. "You're going to be spoiled when you go back to the Army."

"I know, I know. I guess I'll only get it once in my life, so I'm gonna make the most of it." Waiting for the bread to finish toasting, he rummaged for butter. "Think it'd be too much to put powdered sugar on it too?"

Reaching into an upper cabinet, Sean handed him a small shaker. "Of course not, it's always better with powdered sugar. And..." He leaned against the counter to look at the Ranger who was humming under his breath while watching the toaster like a hovering predator. "What do you mean, 'once in your life'?"

The bread popped up and BeachHead nabbed it on the first bounce, yelped and dropped it onto a saucer. "HOT! Ow." He sucked on his finger and hummed. "Mmm.. Well, I don't really expect to be back here.. and where else would I get this kinda food?"

Seth exchanged a look with his older brother. "You don't expect to come back? Ever?"

The Ranger glanced up at him, crunching a bite of the bread. "Well.. mmm.. this is great!" He licked his lip to get sugar off of it. "I didn't figure on gettin' ta come back. I'm not usually invited ta places, ya know?" He paused to think. "Is Snakes going shoppin' too?"

"Uhh.. no." Seth tilted his head to the side. "I'm gonna go finish getting dressed. See you later." He left and Sean frowned at him.

"BeachHead.. when's the last time you went home?" Getting a shrug as a reply, he pressed his point a bit harder. "Aren't you allowed to.. you know.. take time to visit family.. or visit your home?"

Beach swallowed the last bite of toast and eyed the pie again, since Aunt Beth had left the kitchen to get ready to leave. "Yeah.. they'd gimme time off, but where would I go? I got no one ta visit. No where ta go. So generally.. I jus' say on base, especially on holidays. Most everyone likes to go home, so I take extra shifts, and cover for 'em." He started to get up and Sean shook his head.

"Don't even think about pie. She'll know."

"Dang." BeachHead thought it over. "I can have fruit fer breakfast, right?"

Sean nodded. "Yeah."

"I can have pastry for breakfast, right?"

Sean sighed but nodded, resigned to the argument. "Yes, pastries are breakfast items."

BeachHead smirked triumphantly. "Then why can't I have fruit IN pastry for breakfast?!" He suddenly yelped loudly as he was thunked in the head. He turned guiltily to see Aunt Beth standing behind him frowning. "Ow! Don't thwap me with a spoon! I was jus' askin'!"

She raised the spoon and flicked it onto his head again. "You were trying to argue Sean into letting you have pie."

He ducked and gave her a perturbed frown. "Alright already.." She raised the spoon and he squinched his eyes shut to take the next thunk. "Ow. Ya'll womens is mean.. jus' sayin'. Ain't done nothin' but beat up on me since I got here... before that if ya let me count Shana and her kickin' me."

"Stop being a baby." She peered at him contemplatively and reached to finger his hair and his eyes widened as he started up from the table. "Sit down."

"No no.. I'll comb it!" He was pressed back down and sighed. "Can't ya jus' thwap me instead?" He winced as the comb swiped through his half curly hair. "Ouch." She gentled her touch and untangled a spot before going back to combing it.

"Why is it so difficult for you to keep your hair combed?" She didn't sound annoyed at all, in fact, she sounded amused and almost pleased.

"I don't need ta comb it.. it's usually under my.. uhh.. hat." Standing behind him, she stopped combing for a second, then continued. He reasoned to her some more. "Besides, I just came back from a run, no need ta go combing it all nice jus' ta go runnin' down the road."

She sighed at him, and he imitated the sigh back at her just to make her tap his head with the comb again. Tilting his head up, he grinned at her. She mock scowled back at him and pushed his head back down to arrange the unruly hair for him. "There. You should come shopping with us, Wayne." He snorted. "I'm sure I could find some nice things for you to wear." Another scoffing noise. "You could help us manage in the crowds."

He shook his head finally. "Yer not making a case fer me to come along at all. In fact, you're pretty much ensuring that I will fight tooth and nail to not go along." She bent slightly to wrap an arm around his neck to hug him and felt his whole body stiffen in reaction. Turning loose she stepped back and saw the visible twitch that he almost suppressed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'." He got up. "Ya done makin' me all pretty?" She nodded and tucked the comb back into a pocket. "Thanks. You.. uh.. you have fun shopping." He ducked his head and left the room hurriedly.

Sean leaned on the counter. "Don't take it personally Aunt Beth. You just pushed the 'don't strangle the BeachHead' button." She tilted her head and started to go after him and Sean shook his head. "Don't.. really. You'll just embarrass him, and he can't change his training."

"Well, he shouldn't have to. I'd rather apologize, I shouldn't.."

Sean stepped forward to hug her. "Really.. it's just gonna make him uncomfortable, just leave it. He doesn't like feeling so different from everyone else. BeachHead isn't a bad guy.. but he's damaged goods. Damaged.. up here." He tapped the side of his head.

"Sean O'Hara.. that's a horrible thing to say." Her disapproval made him take a deep breath. "Wayne is a perfectly fine individual."

Sean gazed at her seriously and then stepped close to speak in a soft tone. "Aunt Beth, it's not that I don't like the guy. But.. he kills people for a living, and he doesn't know anything else but the Army and killing people. He teaches other people to kill people and trains to be better at killing people. He doesn't know how to interact with normal regular people like us, and you'll just make him feel more like an outsider. Let him be. I know.. you want to mother him, but he's not a lost puppy."

She frowned at him. "Wayne needs people."

Sean nodded. "He needs space to think over whether he 'wants' people. Give him that space.. you know I'm right." She sighed at him. "I know Mother Hen. You can't catch a wild animal by chasing it. You gotta wait for it to come to you."

"Yes I know, I know. Sometimes you just have to throw a rock at it to get it's attention." She took a deep breath. "I'm going to go see if everyone is ready. Shana was hoping to convince SnakeEyes to come shopping, but I think that's a losing proposition. When I asked her, she said he was still in bed, stubbornly under the covers and refusing to get up."

Sean laughed. "Yeah, he's figured out that if he's not even dressed to get up, he can't be coerced out of the house to go shopping!"

"Smart ninja."

* * * *

Once the car loaded with people left, SnakeEyes emerged from hiding, dressed casually. The cinnamon bread was divided up and everyone agreed it was excellent. BeachHead sighed at the pie but decided against risking Aunt Beth's anger.

Scott was reading the morning paper and looked at the ninja. "SnakeEyes.. can you give a look at my new 9 mil? I got this Glock pistol, but it jams about two or three times out of every box of ammo I feed through it."

SnakeEyes waved vaguely at BeachHead, absorbed in reading a section of Scott's paper.

"Aww, come on SnakeEyes.. I'm sure it won't take long for you to look at it."

The commando lifted his masked face to tilt at the younger man, then signed. *BeachHead is the small arms armorer. I only clean them and fire them.*

Scott and Sean both blinked at each other and then at BeachHead who looked back at them. "What? Ya'll look like he said a chicken could type. I can do more than push-ups."

Scott nodded and chewed at his tongue a second. "Well.. then.. could you look at it? Maybe you'd have an idea what's causing it?"

"It's the slide." BeachHead scribbled another few letters in the crossword puzzle they'd given him. He hated the darned things, none of the words he felt would be right ever fit in the boxes.

The young man shifted his weight looking a bit uncertain. "Well.. it doesn't seem to be the slide.. it works smoothly.. it's just that the shells get hung up.."

"It's the slide, you just gotta file the leading tucks slightly. The factory sends 'em out with the tucks a hair too flared out.. they hang up a bit and toss the shells up at a bad angle. Takes five minutes.. " The Ranger looked up at him finally. "Really.. bring it to me, and a small tri-file.. I'll do it fer you."

Scott looked at the silent masked man who was to all appearances absorbed in an article about storm damage in Istanbul but didn't get any indication it was a bad idea. "Okay..."

When he returned in a few minutes, he set down an automatic handgun and a handful of various files. BeachHead tapped his pencil on the page another minute then suddenly puffed out a breath.

"This puzzle is impossible. I give up. Gimme the gun, I know how to do guns." Picking through the files, he held up a small thin triangular one. "This is what ya want.. see the fine side?" He used his forearm to push the other files aside to make space. "M'kay. So.. " He dropped the clip and frowned. "Ya shouldn't have handed me a loaded weapon without alerting me." He narrowed his gaze at Scott and then reached to work the slide. When a live round popped out, he frowned. "SERIOUSLY??"

"What?" Scott watched the Sergeant major twitch.

"Ya'll need a gun safety course ta teach ya how to handle guns. Snakes, I'm highly disappointed that they'd act like this, don't ya teach 'em anything?" While he spoke, BeachHead was already disassembling the pistol and plucking up a small part. "This is the part.. see the flares?" He held it up and then plucked up the file to swipe a few times in two spots and held it up again. "There.. see? All done." Within a moment, the handgun was reassembled and he handed it back with the magazine separate and the safety on. "Ya should really clean it better, sloppy cleaning."

Scott took it and looked doubtful. "So.. now it won't jam?"

"Not 'les ya let it get dirtier. Should be good." BeachHead sighed and tried not to fuss about the cleanliness. Scott thanked him and went to put it back up.

Sean glanced at the clock. "I have to go open up the dojo. We have a class arriving in thirty minutes." He elbowed SnakeEyes as he got up. "You wanna come sit in?"

Giving a casual shrug, the commando nodded and got up. *BeachHead.. coming?*

"Oh.. I guess.." He followed along behind, feeling a bit left out as they discussed the class and the techniques they were working with currently. In the dojo, he moved to work out on the machines a bit while watching the two brothers moving a few items around. The students began to show up and formed into a class, following along in katas and sparring.

Once Beach finished working out, he wiped down and settled on the edge of the room to watch. The two brothers were excellent instructors, although a lot softer in technique than the typical Army instructors would have been. SnakeEyes helped out in spots, tossing Sean around like a training dummy a few times to demonstrate an advanced move. The students seemed properly awed by the guest, and ignored BeachHead which suited him just fine.

Scott tried to convince BeachHead to participate, and was turned down. "I get tossed about quite enough by the spook on a regular basis." was the best argument he gave. He tried baiting the Ranger next.

"We're going to do these sparring moves until they become muscle memory now.. this is going to be one of those elementary moves that anyone can use in different attack situations.. I'll bet that little Annie here could toss BeachHead over using it." Scott smirked at the figure seated on a stack of mats to the side. Beach looked placidly back at him as the entire class turned their heads to stare. "What do you say, Beach?"

"Annie scares me. I'll pass."

Scott's lips twitched in a smile as he mentally gave the Ranger props for non-ego. "If you're sure.. wouldn't want you to feel unmanly.. not coming and participating in the class.."

"Nope, I'm good right here."

One of the older teen boys in the class spoke up smartly. "It's okay Sir. We wouldn't want you to get hurt or anything."

Although Scott was a little bit worried it would annoy BeachHead, instead he watched him smile back. "Thanks.. Ah hate when Ah gotta use my walker ta get around.." The deepening accent betrayed his mood despite the outward calmness.

SnakeEyes clucked his tongue at the boy, wagging a finger and then signing. *Apologize. You do not act in an insulting manner towards a guest in the dojo.* As the boy gave a casual apology to BeachHead, the commando turned to Scott. *Stop baiting him or I'll come beat you down a few times.*

Scott nodded slightly and turned the class's attention back to their training. By the time the class was over, SnakeEyes had joined his friend to the side on one of the mats. BeachHead had become interested in one of the moves SnakeEyes had shown to Sean and was getting him to repeat it a few times on himself.

There was a loud *thud* as he hit the mats again, and the Ranger rolled to his knees. "I oughta be able to block that..."

SnakeEyes shifted his stance slightly. *If I do it wrong..*

BeachHead rose to his feet in a fluid motion and crouched. "Naw.. I can.. do it again.." Agreeably, SnakeEyes flowed in and with a swipe and punch and a odd low scoop, the heavy man was tossed again, landing in the same way onto his side with a loud thump. "Dang it.."

Apparently no worse for the wear.. he got up again. "What's the counter?" SnakeEyes motioned for him to attack and Beach did a passable version of the move on the ninja, and ended up on his knees bent backwards in a highly uncomfortable position exposing his throat. "Earggghh?" Snakes let him loose and he sat up and coughed. "Okaaaay.. wanna do that again so I can see what the heck hit me?"

*When you throw the punch.. throw it lower.. swinging high makes the counter even easier..* BeachHead grunted in reply and moved in fast, ending up on the floor imitating a pretzel again. SnakeEyes turned him loose and motioned him up. *It's partly like the Aikido move.. you don't block.. you just.. push the energy aside like here..* He demonstrated the smooth blocking swipe of his left arm. *The opponent will be moved over to here.. legs knocked like so...* He swung one leg inwards, circling outwards, somehow missing his other leg to arc outwards, catching the invisible attacker behind the knees. *Follow down while capturing this arm and bending like so..* SnakeEyes finished the move against his imaginary foe. *Understand?*

BeachHead looked doubtful. "Naw.. not really.. I might be able to fake it.. do it to me again.. slower.." He attacked with a very moderate speed to be able to feel and see the counter move as he was easily put onto the floor, although with the slow movements, he did allow himself to go to his knees rather than having no choice in the matter.

After a few more tries, he switched and allowed SnakeEyes to attack him so he could try the counter. By this point, the class was absorbed in watching them, Scott and Sean standing by to the side. SnakeEyes ended up on the floor finally, although his second arm was free and he happily used it to poke BeachHead in the ear. Getting to his feet, he signed the correction and then motioned that he would attack at full speed.

The attack and counter was quick and brutal-looking done properly at top speed. BeachHead looked pleased at the ninja's position on the floor and turned loose to let him back up. "Ahh.. okay. So I could use this to put ya on the floor, come time for me to be evaluated again..."

The coughing laughter made him smile. "I know.. never happen. Ya might get surprised one a these times.. "

SnakeEyes shook his head. *Anytime.*

BeachHead suddenly noticed they were the center of attention and stepped backwards uncomfortably. The class began to clamor for SnakeEyes to teach them the move which he refused.

*It is not a tournament move.* He gave a short wave cutting off the protests. BeachHead was dealing with his own questions despite moving to the side to get away.

"Are you really in the Army?" The boy peered up at him with suspicion.

"Yeah."

"I bet it's the Reserve, not the REAL Army."

He snorted at that. "Don't be dissing our Reservists. But I'm in the regular Army, Airborne Ranger. That 'real' enough for ya?"

The second young man crossed his arms and gave him a disdainful look. "My dad says that the Army Reserve is just a bunch of guys dressing in camo and playing at being soldiers."

BeachHead felt the twitch. "Yer Dad ain't never gone through Basic, and he's wrong. Reservists get a lotta good solid trainin', and he oughta be glad we got 'em around."

A slightly heavy girl looked him over with a practiced eye. "Your Sallah's boyfriend, aren't you?"

He felt his eyebrows hit his hairline. "Pardon me?"

She smirked. "I'm Sallah's Best Friend. She told me about you. You're really cute.. you know.. for an old guy." He felt his lip curl and tried unsuccessfully to control the look of distaste. "So how come I'm just hearing about you, if you're such a good boyfriend?"

He narrowed his gaze, trying to judge exactly how to handle a situation he'd rather never have occurred. "I'm not her boyfriend." He figured that it wasn't his fault Sallah was running about telling people untrue things.

"That's not what *I* heard."

"Well, seein' as ya jus' 'heard' stuff... and Ah'm supposed ta BE the boyfriend.. Ah'd guess that Ah might just know more about the situation than ya do.. ya think?" He stalked away, a bit annoyed at Sallah over it, with a side helping of annoyance heaped on Scarlett's plate for dragging him into this to begin with. SnakeEyes and the rest of the crazy family could join in too.

The class filtered out bit by bit. When the last ones left, the two boys led them back over to the house, locking up the dojo carefully. "Sorry about that BeachHead.. but don't think that Sallah necessarily told that girl outright that you're her boyfriend, okay?"

"Well, ain't that what she said?" He felt pretty grumpy over it.

"Hmmm.. not exactly. You have to realize that with teenaged girls, one small comment gets passed from one to another to another.. until it gets turned into something else. It's gossipy, and Sallah might have just wanted to imply she had a boyfriend to one of her friends, and it got blown to her saying you were it." Sean gave him a wary look then admitted ruefully. "Of course, she could be telling everyone she knows that the wedding will be in November and already have the colors and flowers picked out.. "

"That's not even a little bit funny." The ranger turned to aim a kick at the commando following him who had begun to cough in laughter. "Shut it, ya danged ninja spook."

*It was me a few years ago, I'm allowed to laugh at YOU now.* SnakeEyes shook a finger at him. *You're just worried that CoverGirl will blow a gasket over it.* The name sign of the letter 'C' combined with the sign for woman, made over his face.

Scott perked up. "Wait wait... Mr. Untouchable Rangerman has a giiiirlfriend?"

"NO!" BeachHead turned and snarled at the ninja who held up his hands innocently. "Stop it! I ain't got no girlfriend! She ain't interested in me!"

He turned and stomped a few steps away while SnakeEyes signed at the two brothers. *She likes him a lot.. he's in denial.*

Sean lifted an eyebrow. "So BeachHead.. you aren't interested in showing her all your patented Ranger moves? A little bit of toss and pin?"

He was surprised when the soldier snarled back at him. "Shut up! It ain't funny! Las' thing I need is some female tryin' ta play me fer a fool." He shut his mouth abruptly and looked like he'd said too much.

"What do you mean? You think she isn't really interested?" Scott shook his head. "I mean.. other than your sterling lack of personality.. what more could she want? You're both in the Army right?"

"Shut up. It ain't gonna happen again. She ain't interested, it's just.. " He paused. "She's a great person.. ain't nothing I got that's gonna interest her."

SnakeEyes gave a headshake. *She's done everything short of throwing herself on you in one of your mudpits to show her interest. You are the one holding out. You don't really think you'd get tossed out for dating, right?*

"Frat regs plainly state.."

*Think about who you are talking to, before you finish that thought.* SnakeEyes folded his arms and BeachHead stuttered to a stop.

"She can't be interested in me. You know what she looks like.. she could have any guy she wants.. wound around her little finger." Beach puffed out a breath. "I ain't falling for it again."

Sean motioned for them to settle on the porch and BeachHead seated himself on the sturdy railing. "BeachHead.. come on.. what happened? Some lady turned you down, so you think that no woman will ever be interested in you?"

He snorted. "If'n I took yer family as my study group, I'm irresistible to all ages." The spatter of laughter seemed to break the tension that had built. "Alright.. so waaay back when I was a youngster.."

"You were young? I'm astounded." Sean yelped as SnakeEyes kicked him in the shoulder where he sat on the top step.

Beach frowned at him. "As I was sayin'... when I was young and just outa Basic.. I got put up as the assistant corporal ta our sergeant. Great man, he took good care of us dumb grunts. Always knew how to get the most outa every man. I was in charge of the physical trainin' requirements.. ran the timed rounds, encouraged folks to do extra to get into better shape.. kind of like a junior drill instructor. An assistant coach." The others nodded. "We had a couple women recruits, and mosta the guys really thought they shouldn't be there.. this was back in the old days.. women was supposed ta be happy ta stay home, raise younguns, cook.. that sorta stuff. Buncha cocky young males, we was all a little disdainful of the idea that the ladies was gonna keep up. Course, they did okay."

He paused a second. "One a them was really pretty, and she always seemed ta come chat at me. I was young and stupid enough to feel flattered and studly and figured I was charmin' enough to have caught her attention."

Sean's snort was amused sounding. "This is prior to your surgical removal of your wit and personality, I assume?"

"Ya wanna hear the danged story or not?"

"Sorry, shutting up. So you had a gorgeous girlfriend and....?"

"Alright. So she did a lotta heavy pettin' and a lotta kissin' around behind the barracks.. and we was getting' close to graduatin' or not graduatin' outa the trainin'. She slipped me this note.. meet her around by the sheds, and we got it on."

"Did you just use the phrase.. 'got it on'? What? Are you twelve?"

"Would you shut up? Gawd have mercy.. Ah can't help havin' some manners... we had SEX. Does me sayin' the danged word make ya all happy? SEX."

"Eww.. no. Now that you said it, I'm kind of creeped out." There was another yelp as SnakeEyes applied his own version of a request for silence.

"ANYway. I was pleased as punch, figured we was all kinds of meant fer each other. Thought we was just in young love and all that mush. Then I got called into the C.O.'s office the next mornin'. 'Disciplinary actions' on accounta she run up to the Sarge, tellin' him she wanted a free pass on her requirements.. or she'd go tellin' folks I forced her to have sex or I'd fail her on the testin'. So I gotta admit we had sex.. gotta try to deny I ever threatened her.. tryin' to convince these officers I ain't never even spoke to other than to say 'yessir, nossir' to in passin' that I'm a good kid what wouldn't never force no lady to do nothin'."

Sean shook his head. "What a skank! They didn't believe her!?"

"Well.. my word against hers.. Sarge took up fer me. Said I wouldn't do it.." BeachHead sighed. "They was supposed to boot me on a dishonorable discharge.. but he convinced 'em not to do it. I got busted down to nothin', transferred to a grunt unit two states away and they didn't put it in my record. She ended up dishonorably discharged about a year later.. when she tried the same tactic on a major over at Benning. Sarge told me right afore he stuck me on the transport plane.. ya don't never mess around when yer in the Army, specially not with no soldier in yer unit. Said I'd make a heck of a NCO one day.. but I'd never make it to officer, cause I was stubborn and thought everyone oughta do their best." He sighed heavily.

Scott looked at him. "Well.. you must of done okay.. look where you are now."

He was given a pitying look from the Ranger. "Yeah, well. I spent over a year gettin' my butt beaten a couple times a week by the guys in the grunt unit. They heard through the grapevine that I'd messed with a female recruit, and nothin' I said convinced 'em different. Wasn't 'til they transferred me ta a combat unit that I gotta clean slate with the guys I served with. Them guys couldn't care less if ya was a murderer, long as ya watched their backs proper. I did okay after that. But I learned.. ain't no woman gonna be interested in me fer ME. I ain't nothing much ta look at, as ya keep pointin' out, ain't gotta personality ta attract no one. So what would a beautiful capable woman want with me?"

SnakeEyes shook his head at him. *You think she's playing some game to blackmail you?*

He stuttered a little bit. "Well no! She ain't like that!"

Sean snorted at him. "There's no reason she can't be interested. Maybe she likes a challenge! Besides, it's not like she's some bombshell. Maybe she thinks other guys won't be interested in her." He was treated to two identical snorts from the two soldiers.

"She's a model, ya idiot. She's perfect.. body of a goddess.. face like an angel. She's smart and witty and she's great at everything she does.." BeachHead sighed slightly, completely unaware of how his face softened. "Any guy would have ta be a moron ta not see how grand a woman she is."

SnakeEyes pointed fiercely at Scott before he could make the snarky comment. *Don't tease him.* By the time Beach had looked over, the ninja signed at him. *She's wonderful, and she's intelligent enough to know what she wants. OR... who she wants.*

Sean nodded. "Sounds to me like you should give it a shot. I doubt anyone that good is going to somehow turn it around to stab you in the back, BeachHead. Why not?"

"Foolish. Ain't no good reason to try it."

"Happiness is a good reason."

"Happiness is overrated. I'm happy enough with my life the way it is."

Sean shook his head. "You sure don't act like a happy well-adjusted person. We're just saying.. maybe you should consider it. Like you said, she won't be the kind that would stab you in the back.. so what can it hurt?"

Scott cleared his throat. "Well.. if BeachHead wants to just be miserable the rest of his life, then he's got every right. In the meantime.. Sean and I were going to go see if we could find enough guys to play some football at the park. You two game for it?"

SnakeEyes rolled his eyes while Sean and BeachHead both groaned at the pun. Beach slid off the railing. "Yeah.. now that ya'll done heard my whole sad life's story.. I'm up for beating people up and rolling around in the grass and dirt. This place blows.. I ain't never chattered as much in the last five years as I have in the last danged week." SnakeEyes made a talky-talky motion with one hand. "Yeah yeah.. I talk a lot, but it ain't normally about my 'inner feelings' and sappy junk about how I don't wanna get my heart broke. Ya'll buncha pogues are turnin' me into a girl. I'm gonna get back ta base and beat the crud outa the greenshirts fer a solid week till I feel better."

Scott grinned and cracked his knuckles loudly. "So.. that's a yes on football? Come on."

Beach turned to go inside the house. "I gotta grab my jacket."

"Jacket? You went running in sub-freezing temps this morning, but NOW you want a jacket?" Scott laughed a little bit.

Sean frowned at him. "Aunt Beth caught him coming in half frozen." Scott sobered up. "Yeah. So shut up and go get our jackets too." BeachHead fetched his beat up Army green coat from the bottom of his duffel bag. Once outside and walking down the road, he peered at Sean. "What?"

"How come Aunt Beth went all loo-loo over me being cold? Wasn't like I was gonna die from going out runnin' in the cold."

Sean gave a heavy sigh. "Well.. let me fill you in.."

* * * *

End chapter:

Whew.. it turned out longer than I expected. Fun in the dojo, and a bit of insight as to why our grumpy Ranger has resisted the advances of one very determined tank jockey. Next up.. a tiny bit of insight to Aunt Beth.. and FOOTBALL! Now with added ninja coolness.. a pick-up football game.. with a ninja playing. Should be... fun.


	24. Chapter 24: Ninjas and Football

chap 24

As promised.. the short explanation for Aunt Beth.. and a pick-up game of football. Thanks for the many reviews! I'm trying to keep up with the various fics, and please feel free to make suggestions via PM.

* * * *

Sean kicked at a piece of dried grass as he thought it over. "Aunt Beth.. she lost someone a long time ago. See.. she doesn't have any kids of her own now.. she ends up mothering all of us. But.. she had a little boy. Her husband and she lived over in Montana for about three years. Everyone missed her a lot while she was gone, holidays just were not the same."

BeachHead nodded. "I can bet. She is the center around ya'll. Families gotta have a matriarch."

Scott gave a shove to push SnakeEyes into the water filled ditch, disappointed when the ninja stepped easily over the muck to the far side. "Yeah.. Mother wasn't one to take center stage when she was alive. It was always Aunt Beth who organized things. When she left for Montana, we were all a little crushed, even though we all wished her well. Or well, as best as a bunch of little kids could wish her well, being all upset and selfish that she wasn't going to be there for US."

Sean cleared his throat. "Yeah, well. In the middle of winter.. her son decided to go play near the house.. on the pond. It was frozen solid, so no one worried about him breaking through the ice or anything. But he was only six or so. Too busy playing to pay attention to the cold, and they had to go find him hours later. He got too cold, and felt sleepy, so he curled up in the snow."

The Ranger shook his head. "Naw.. he died?"

"Yeah. They rushed him off to a hospital, but it was too late. He died of the brain damage in a couple days. Her husband left her less than six months later.. and she moved back here. Bought that piece of land and over the years, she's gotten it built up nice, and she spends her time there and with the rest of the family. She's a great woman... and not one of us wouldn't like to see her with her own family. But she won't hear of it. Too painful for her to think about it, I guess."

Beach twisted his lips. "That's why she freaked out? On accounta I was outside freezing?" He sighed. "Well, I didn't know.. I wouldn't want to make her upset. She's been nothing but kind to me." He thought for a few seconds. "Should I apologize again?"

"No.." The young man hopped a ditch. "Just.. take a jacket. You just bring out all her mothering instincts.. you know, because you were obviously dropped on your head as a child." Beach made a face at him and he grinned in reply. "You just seem a bit lost in this crazy family of ours, and she wants to fuss over you. So let her fuss over you and stop being so stubbornly set that you don't want anyone around you."

SnakeEyes signed with evident amusement. *Told you, they would eat you alive.*

Beach kicked a lump of dirt at the commando, frowning when he easily dodged it. "Jerk. Ya'll know it ain't cause I don't like none of you.. I just ain't used to having so many people all up in my face constantly. You're all so... so.. concerned over me. Ain't how my life is normally. If I ain't bleeding heavy enough to drip on the tiles, most folks I'm around every day don't take no notice of me. Here.. I ain't gotta even breathe twice, and someone wants to ask me about every aspect of how I'm feelin' and such." He paused for a long moment. "It's kinda... nice."

Scott grinned. "Nice? To have people pester you?"

"Yeah. People who ain't intimidated by me.. ain't angry at me.. ain't shootin' at me. People what just seem to give a crap about whether or not I'm happy, fer Gawd's sake." The Ranger sighed. "It's just... kinda nice."

SnakeEyes looked over at him. *We care too. Scarlett cares... others care. You just bite off our heads if we dare to ask.*

Giving a small satisfied grin, Beach looked over. "Well.. yeah.. there is that. And you and Scarlett are good friends.. even if ya do beat me up on a regular basis."

Sean snorted loudly. "He's a ninja, he beats up everyone. If he doesn't stick something sharp into you, it means he's being friendly. And Shana beats up all of us too. Join the crowd." He nodded his chin at the park. "Look.. there's some guys tossing a ball around already, I bet we can have a pick up football game after all!" Sean suddenly turned to the Ranger. "You did leave the guns at the house.. right?" Beach rolled his eyes and nodded.

Scott looked at BeachHead. "You do know how to play football.. right?"

Beach grinned happily. "Sure! But how we gonna dribble the ball on grass? Won't that make it hard?"

Scott stared at him in horror for about a minute before he suddenly realized he was joking. "Oh geez.. you got me. I can't believe it.. Beach successfully joked. Mark the calender."

"Gimme a break, I'm from Alabama.. we're born knowing about football. It's like huntin' squirrels, everyone does it. If we didn't have a ball, we'd just play football with a danged rock."

"Or was it that back in 'your day' they hadn't invented balls yet.. so you just had to play with rocks?"

"Ya know.. I'm thinkin' maybe having folks around ta pester me ain't all that great after all."

* * * *

After a little bit of sniffing and circling,the guys tossing the football around agreed that a pick up game would be great. The new four guys eyed SnakeEyes in his mask and the ASL signs. BeachHead stepped up and glared at them when they were trying to decide whether to make a joke at the mute's expense. They wisely decided to be accepting.

Out of the new guys, George and Jesse were big tough young men, and Sam was a thinner guy with a gleam in his eye that told BeachHead he was used to being underestimated. Doug was medium in every way, size, looks, and probably ability. Scott stepped up to smooth the social interaction, immediately joking in all the right spots, chatting them up.. introducing everyone.

George suddenly let out a loud laugh. "Beach Head? Seriously? You don't look like no california boy."

"I ain't." His accent set them aback a little.

"Oh... you're a good ole boy from the South!" Jesse slapped his shoulder hard enough to knock him a step sideways.

"Yeah." When he didn't elaborate, they dropped the questioning about his name.

"Okay.. who's offense first?" After a quick round of rock-paper-scissors, Sean took the ball. The two teams huddled up to discuss. Scott poked BeachHead in the chest. "You and me block for Sean.. he can throw like nobody's business.. Snakes can catch anything out there.. we seen him do it before. Beach.. don't kill no one, okay?"

"Ah ain't gonna kill no one.. less it's you fer yanking mah chain." The sergeant looked around at the other four guys. "Snakes you watch that Sam guy.. I think he's gonna surprise us."

The ninja nodded at him. *You just block those two goons from Sean.*

When Scott and Beach crouched, George and Jesse both seemed confident they would walk over both of them. Jesse bunched his shoulders and grinned at BeachHead. "I'll try not to step on your face as I run over you..."

"Ah 'preciate it." BeachHead twisted his heel slightly to brace as they lunged forward as Sean took his few steps backwards and SnakeEyes sprinted away, dodging Sam so quickly the younger man turned a full circle searching for where he'd gone before he spotted him and took off to chase after him.

When Jesse slammed into the Ranger, Beach's right foot dug in harder and he slipped backwards about two inches. The larger man pushed harder, struggling to move his opponent, who just ducked slightly lower and held his position. Scott was doing a lot more wrestling around keeping George away from his brother.

Sean pitched the football out, and from his yell, SnakeEyes must have caught it. Once he had the ball, BeachHead knew the ninja would score without any trouble. He twisted to let Jesse drop to the ground suddenly, stepping back and looking up the field. Just as he thought, Sam was gamefully keeping up with the sprinting form, but it was useless to try to do more than follow him. Grabbing at a ninja.. just an exercise in futility.

Scott yelled loudly. "GO SNAKES!!!" He grinned and high-fived his brother. "Your ball, dudes.."

When SnakeEyes brought the ball back and tossed it casually to Doug who held out a hand. His ASL sign was translated by Scott... asking if they wanted to do a kick-off, or just start up at the twenty yard line. They just shrugged and agreed that the kickoffs were a bit pointless with so few players. Sean pointed at the commando. "Stay on Sam.. don't you let him catch the ball."

When Beach lowered himself in front of Jesse, there was a wary look on the guy's face. "You ain't gettin' past me."

"We'll see..." Doug yanked the ball up and Scott practically followed him up, slamming into George, even as Beach followed a second later, shoving into the bigger Jesse with a forearm on his chest. He caught an arm across the side of his head and clamped down on the urge to drive an elbow into the exposed throat.. stopped himself from stomping on the instep extended to the side.. forbid himself to headbutt him.. and stepped sideways, letting him practically fall down as the older man bulled past going after the suddenly fleeing Doug. Just before BeachHead could get within jumping range, Sean came rushing up to try a flying tackle, which Doug neatly sidestepped, letting Sean crash into the Ranger instead.

While they untangled themselves, Doug managed to throw the ball, causing Jesse to yell in triumph. His yell was cut short when SnakeEyes nimbly leapt up, snagging the ball out of the air like a cat playing with a toy on a string. When he landed, he took off, pursued by a cursing Sam, while the other three young men spread out to try to cut him off.

BeachHead and Sean got up to go run some interference although in Beach's mind, there really wasn't much need. He bumped George to one side, as Sean made Doug jump over him.. and SnakeEyes did the neatest side-to-side fakeout and practically ran a circle around Sam and Jesse to score again.

BeachHead ruffled his hair a few times to scuff the bits of grass out of it. "Ya know Sean.. yer supposed to tackle the other guys.. not me."

"Yeah well.. I was actually kind of aiming for you. You had a pretty intense look on your face going after the guy.. I didn't want you to hurt him." Sean kept his voice low as they walked slowly back to line up again.

BeachHead snorted at him. "Why'd ya want me to come play ball, if ya think I'll take the heads offa whoever I face? I'm fine. Not gonna hurt no one."

"Alright.. but I'm not bailing you out if you break someone in half." Sean elbowed him and grinned. "Maybe you should try to look like you're having some fun, instead of frowning."

BeachHead looked at him with a deadpan expression. Motioning towards his face, he spoke up in a perturbed tone. "This is my 'fun face'. Don't it work fer ya?"

Shaking his head, Sean called to the ninja walking ahead of them. "You got weird friends SnakeEyes.. okay? Weird friends."

"Ha. Ya think I'm weird.. I'm the one they thought was normal enough to bring ta visit ya'll. Think about what they left behind that was too strange to bring home to meet the family."

Scott shook himself all over. "I'd rather not, thanks." He gave his brother a shove. "Don't pick at Beach.. I'll tell June on you!"

Sean shoved him back. "Yeah, you would. BeachHead has a whole brigade of women ready to defend him. It's irritating as all heck, I'm tellin' you!"

"Ya'll are all jus' jealous." BeachHead watched the four guys discussing what they would try next and turned to Sean. "Same thing again?"

Sean grinned. "Why mess with what works?" SnakeEyes stretched his arms and motioned to the side slightly. "Yeah.. this time I'm gonna get Doug down.."

Beach crouched and put a hand on the ground, grinning suddenly. "Not if I get him first.."

"Ten bucks on BeachHead sacking Doug before Sean." Scott looked around and watched everyone shake their heads. "Twenty?"

BeachHead looked over at the commando off to the side. "It's like Ace is here..."

They heard the slight coughing laugh just before the snap and everyone scrambled. Jesse was even more determined to keep BeachHead from getting past him, and the Ranger was digging up sod as he shoved the bigger guy backwards. He tried to wrench to the side only to be held in place. He yanked himself backwards to free himself from the clutching arms, twisting himself to lunge after the scrambling quarterback. Jesse bumped him aside, and he missed by inches. Beach almost regained his footing but his opponent managed to stop him by simply falling on top of him. He caught himself just before his leg completed a kick that would have probably snapped the guy's ribs like twigs. Instead he pushed him off with a knee.

By the time he was up, Doug had managed to dodge around Sean and make a run forward carrying the ball himself. Scott got free of George and wrapped around his knees to bring him down.

Everyone untangled themselves and got to their feet, Beach dragging Jesse to his feet by one hand. "Nice.. fallin' on mah head is good technique." He reached up and brushed sand and grass out of his hair again, shaking it dog-style. Walking over, he jabbed SnakeEyes with an elbow. "Try ta give Sam a opening to catch the ball, otherwise Doug ain't gonna throw it."

The ninja shoved him back casually. *You're supposed to tackle Doug, not fall down.*

"Hey! He's bigger than me.. I might get hurt.." BeachHead's mock whine made SnakeEyes cough a moment in laughter. "Sean shoulda had that guy, he's slippery."

Scott strutted by. "Yeah.. who's da man? I'm da man.. I tackled him while you two old men were rolling around in the dirt.. yeah.. me.. that would be.. me!" Beach and Sean exchanged looks.

Lining up and waiting, Scott hummed under his breath, staring at George across from him. The ball snapped and he started up only to be buried under his brother and BeachHead who both pounced him unexpectedly. "HEY!!" While they were getting off of him, Doug took off at top speed, followed by Jesse who fended off SnakeEyes while their quarterback scored a touchdown.

Scott spat out a mouthful of dry grass and glared at the chortling teammates. "That wasn't fair!"

BeachHead bumped him back onto the ground as he started to his feet. "Awww.. poor Scott. Ya fallin' down? Lemme help ya.." He ducked the handful of grass thrown at him. Sean dodged the grab at his legs.

SnakeEyes wandered up, looking at the three men fussing and laughing. *Friendly fire?*

"Well.. lessons in talking nicely to your teammates, you could say." Sean smiled. "I guess now we gotta work a little harder to make sure we score again. Don't wanna lose the game!" Snakes shook his head at their silliness.

When SnakeEyes easily caught the next toss and scored, the opposing side decided to double-team him. That made things slightly more difficult for the ninja.

Sean managed to complete a throw just before he went down under Jesse after he finally got BeachHead onto the ground. The younger man walked past as the Ranger was getting to his feet. "I didn't hurt you, did I, old man?"

"Bite me, ya pup. Take more than a half-hearted bump ta hurt me." Beach brushed himself off some and walked alongside to rejoin everyone at the far end of the field, since SnakeEyes had scored again.

Jesse looked him over. "So do you just wear Army stuff, or are you really in the Army?"

"I'm Army."

"Cool, from Fort Benning?"

"Nah.. out west. Just here on leave." He stretched his shoulder a little, the cold weather kept making it stiffen up.

"Soo.. you really a Ranger?" Jesse glanced at him out of the side of his eyes.

For a moment, BeachHead went on full mental alert, he hadn't said anything to lead the guy to think he belonged to the Rangers. Then he smacked himself in the forehead. "Mah Ranger shirt.." He looked down. "Forgot I was wearin' it. Dang it, I'm goin' soft in the head." He snorted. "Yeah, Army Ranger."

Jesse grinned at his admission. "Oh, you mean I could have astounded you with my psychic powers? As long as I didn't admit the six-inch-high letters across your chest gave me the first clue?"

BeachHead rolled his eyes and held up both hands. "Yeah yeah.. I'm old and goin' senile.. laugh it up. I'm gonna step on your gut fer that.."

"Oooo, I'm scared.."

* * * *

With the ninja double-teamed, Sean handed the ball off to BeachHead for a run. He pounded through Jesse and got jumped on by Sam. The slighter built man barely slowed the Ranger down and he continued to run down the field. "Get offa me.." He tried to shake Sam off his shoulders, when George caught up and leapt on him. Bracing himself upright, BeachHead struggled downfield for another eight yards before Jesse knocked the trio down.

"Alright!!" His muffled yell from the bottom of the pile made Jesse laugh. "Alright I'm down!! I'm down!! Get offa my spleen!!" The younger guys got up and dragged him to his feet. "Augh... I have grass in mah EAR!!" His head shaking made them chortle at him.

Sam waved at Scott and Sean. "Hey.. you guys didn't say he was a bulldozer in disguise! How do you stop him?"

Scott laughed. "Pie.. give him pie.. but it takes a LOT of pie.."

BeachHead perked up and stopped trying to shake the grass out of his ear. "We're playin' fer pie? Ya didn't mention THAT!"

"Uh oh.. "

* * * *

The rest of the game went superbly. SnakeEyes delighted in impossibly high leaps to snatch the ball out of midair no matter who was throwing it, or who he needed to use as a springboard to get enough height. Once he got the ball, he scored each time. Just for the fun of it, Scott bet the entire opposing team couldn't stop him from scoring even if the other three teammates didn't try to interfere.

BeachHead and Sean stood to one side, while Scott tossed the ball to the ninja in the middle of the field. Then they watched the four guys spread out and try to hem in the darting form. George ran straight in with his arms spread, and then twisted trying to make a snatch when SnakeEyes planted a foot to stop himself, whirling around to the side. Sam dove in at his waist, and the ninja jumped upwards, drawing both legs up to his chest to land nimbly on the lean back and spring off of it, planting one hand on the top of Jesse's head to complete a front flip over his back as he came bulling in. Landing lightly on the balls of his feet, he jumped to the side.. allowing Doug to miss his grab.

Instead of running, the mute turned to crouch playfully, ball still tucked under one arm. Doug managed to twist himself around, changing directions to chase someone who wasn't moving yet. SnakeEyes dodged each grab, staying just out of reach. When the other three got there, he threw the ball up the field, dove into a roll between Jesse and George, popped up and leapt over Doug, landed on his hands to do a double handspring around Sam, landed and caught the ball to take off running down the field. The foursome just plain gave up at that point.

"That's just inhuman. How's he do that?" Sam stood hands on hips staring. "Okay.. that's it. If we're playing any more, he can't play."

BeachHead was rolling on the ground laughing at the antics confounding the poor young men, so Sean smiled at them digging money out to pay his brother. "Yeah, well.. if Snakes can't play, we're done. It's about time we headed back to the house anyway." He gave Beach a kick. "Come on.. let's get your bud corralled and get out of here."

SnakeEyes threw the ball back, Beach catching it and tossing it to Sam. "Thanks fer the game. It was fun."

George rumbled under his breath and looked at the Ranger. "Yeah, well.. you ought to have warned us that we were playing against a circus freak."

BeachHead's fists gathered the loose hoodie up and yanked him up to his nose. "Whut the HELL did ya jus' call mah friend?!" He snarled into the stunned face, ignoring the clutching hands trying to tug at him. George's face went white as he was lifted off the ground and shaken viciously. "Don't ya EVEH call him a name like that again!"

Sean grabbed one of the thick wrists and twisted ineffectively at it. "BeachHead!! Turn him loose! Turn loose!! Let him go!"

Scott was dragging at him as well, slipping one arm around BeachHead's and trying to pry it loose. "STOP!! Let him go! He didn't mean it.. he was joking!"

Jesse bulled his way in, shoving and BeachHead kicked him aside with a snarl. "Get offa me!" SnakeEyes arrived and slipped behind Beach to reach around to grab his wrists and pinched into the nerve points. "Lemme go! Ah'll teach ya ta be callin' him names!" George jerked away from the partially numb hands. "Get back here!"

"DUDE!! Chill out!!" George stepped backwards and held up his hands. "Dude!! Calm down! I was joking.. just never saw no one go jumping all over like that! He's fine with me.. all cool!"

BeachHead let SnakeEyes pull him backwards. "Yeah.. well.. ya shouldn't be callin' folks names like that.." He shook himself free of the restraining hands. "Ain't right.." He stomped off, heading to the sidelines to get his jacket.

George looked from him to Sean and SnakeEyes while Scott followed a distance behind the muttering Ranger. "Look.. I'm sorry.. I was just joking. I thought you looked like a circus acrobat.. flipping all over.. I didn't mean nothing insulting.. it just came out wrong.. we cool?"

SnakeEyes nodded and made an 'ok' sign. *My friend is over-sensitive to people insulting me.* He paused for a moment before he continued. *He thought you made fun because of my mask. I have scars, people sometimes are cruel when they know.*

George shook his head. "Dude.. I didn't know.. I'm sorry, okay?"

SnakeEyes repeated the 'ok' sign and shook his hand. Sean reached to clasp his hand as well. "Don't mind BeachHead.. we'll talk to him.. sorry he grabbed you, really.. he's not like that.."

They turned as the unhappy man came back, head down and shoulders bunched up still. "Sorry. Shouldn't a shook ya." He glanced up once at George then away again. "Sorry." He walked off, heading towards the road. Scott shrugged and trotted after him.

George and Jesse watched him striding off. George looked at them. "Tell him it's all cool. Someone dissed Jesse here.. saying he was ugly.. which is true.." Jesse elbowed him. "Hey hey.. anyway. Someone dissed my friend, I'd be all kinds of up in their face too. It's alright.. all cool."

Sean looked after the departing Ranger followed by his brother Scott. "Thanks. He's just.. well.. anyway... Thanks for the game, sorry about BeachHead overreacting."

George shook his head. "Seriously.. it's fine. Guy got upset cause he thought I was insulting his friend. It's all good." He slapped SnakeEyes on the shoulder once. "Good game.. you're freaky with all that jumping and stuff.. you should really go join the pro's."

He walked away while SnakeEyes coughed in laughter. Sean patted his back. "What's so funny Snakes?"

SnakeEyes straightened up and signed at him while they headed out, walking after the Ranger and Scott. *Just picturing my commander's face if I told him I was leaving the Army to play ball professionally.*

Sean tilted his head sideways a bit. "Why do I think that I wouldn't want to be a fly on that particular wall?"

The commando signed to him. *You have a sense of self-preservation?*

"Probably so." He stretched as they walked and then waved a hand up at the pair of guys up ahead of them. "Is Beach okay? He gets really mad.."

*He's fine. That was all bark. If he was angry enough to lose control, the guy would have broken arms before you could say 'stop'. He hates it when people are cruel to someone because they are different, or when they try to bully a person.* SnakeEyes paused then shrugged. *Trust me. He's a good friend.*

"Okay. As long as you have the bail money..."

His masked companion coughed again, pointing at himself. *Me? I'm a low-paid Army sergeant. You have the successful dojo. You pay the bail money.*

"What? No way! He's your friend!"

*Your guest.*

"Well.. yeah.. but.. "

*I'll tell Aunt Beth you refuse to bail him out.*

"You're a cruel cruel person, even for a ninja."

Snakes snorted loudly. *Like you know SO many ninjas to compare me to.*

* * * *

End Chapter

I hope you enjoyed the game! Finally a bit of a workout to get some of the pent-up energy out of the guys. Only a couple of days left.. then the gang's gotta go back to the base...


	25. Chapter 25: Bread and Knitting

chap 24

Yes.. the longest time in between me posting a fic chapter has officially ended.. here's a long chapter for the Vacationing Joes... sorry for the delays. I am working on another fic that can't be posted until after Vacation is done.

Standard disclaimer of non-ownership, and non-profiting applies here.

BeachHead seems to be adjusted really well finally to being around a bunch of civies.. just in time for the week to be nearly over!

* * * *

Chap 25

BeachHead peered over Sean's shoulder at the mixing bowl. "Seriously? You're making that cinnymom bread?"

"Yep. I told you I made the loaf you ate this morning. I thought you might like if I made some more." He smiled to himself. Tough Army Ranger or not, he thought he'd found a weak point.

"Yeah, that was awesome, I never had any better bread than that. Never saw no one make it though." BeachHead seemed fascinated. "Kinda wish I could do that.. be impressive to some folks back on base."

"I can teach you.. not that hard." Sean tapped the worn paper laying on the countertop. "As long as you have a recipe.. and you know what to do.. you can make it." He floured the countertop and dumped the dough out onto it. "The important part is letting it rise each time."

"Yeah now that jus' don't make a lotta sense. If ya want it to puff all up.. how come ya go and squash it up again? Then ya go and let it puff up again." The Ranger was carefully watching the process.

Kneading the dough easily, Sean added a bit of flour and smiled patiently. "You know how bread is soft and fluffy?" When his audience of one nodded, he continued. "Well.. it's fluffy inside because it's full of bubbles when you bake it. The rising is the yeast making lots of bubbles in the dough.. like the bubbles in soda. So you have to let the yeast make all the bubbles form in the dough, then you punch it down again, so that the yeast can make lots and lots of small bubbles in the dough, so that the bread will be properly fluffy and soft when it bakes." He looked over and saw the military man thinking that over. "Does it make sense now?"

"Uhh.. yeeeeah. I guess so." Beach watched him cover the dough with a small towel to leave it to rise. "How does it taste like cinnymoms when you didn't put any in it?"

"That part is added later on.. at least in my recipe. I guess technically my recipe is bread with cinnamon and sugar added, instead of cinnamon-sugar bread."

"I'll take yer word on that. I'm a lot better at eatin' it than makin' it." BeachHead twisted around to look as they heard a clamor of noise from the front. "I'm guessin' the pack of ladies just got back. Suppose I could hide outside, or would they jus' come find me?" He looked so hopeful that Sean felt bad dashing his hopes.

"Sorry, they'd come drag you inside. And then they'd browbeat you about being outside and still go on about the things they bought. Easier by far to just listen and nod." Sean grinned at him. "In case they seem REALLY excited, you can add in a 'oooo!' to show you're quite enthused. Don't over-do it."

"Got it." BeachHead ducked as Sallah came flying in and tackled her older brother.

She was all grins. "Sean! Oh it was WAY GREAT! We hit every cool store there is!" She launched at BeachHead who caught her out of instinct, leaning his face aside as she hugged his neck. "BeachHead, you should have come! Aunt Beth got you something too." She abruptly turned loose and ran back out.

BeachHead blinked a few times and looked at Sean. "What.. what was that?"

"That was my little sister. She gets excited about shopping. It's a teen thing." He grinned at the confused look Beach sported. "You get used to it."

"Oh.. I doubt that." He followed Sean into the room. With the confusion of people milling around, he managed to put himself into a corner out of the way. Other than nodding agreeably when someone showed him a bit of clothing, he stayed quiet and mostly they gave him just enough space to not freak him out.

Aunt Beth finally spotted him and came to put a bundle into his hands. "Here.. I saw this and had to get it for you." She looked faintly worried to him.

Shaking it out, he looked at a light jacket in brown. "Ahh.. it's nice. Thank you. Ya didn't need to go gettin' me anything." At her insistence, he pulled it on, and let her tweak the collar around. He shrugged his shoulders around inside it, looking it over. It reminded him of CoverGirl's bomber style jacket.. only in light suede, without the sheepskin trim. It would do, he supposed. Apparently humming really was part of putting clothing on him as Aunt Beth did some of that. "Thank you. It's nice." He took it off again, folding it carefully over one arm. "I'm sure it goes well with my other clothes."

"Yes.. Shana specially helped pick out the color. Can't have you dressing up nicely and then wearing your beat up army jacket. Ruins the effect." She smiled at him and he nodded agreeably.

"Ooo." She looked a bit confused and he sighed. "I knew I shouldn't do that. Never get it right. The jacket's really nice, thank you for thinking about me."

Although she looked wary, she dismissed the strangeness and patted him gently on his arm. "Did you manage to amuse yourself while we were gone?"

"Yeah.. the boys and Snakes and I went down and played football. And Sean is making cinnymom bread."

She corrected him absently. "Cinnamon."

"Yeah.. that's what I said.. cinnymom." He tilted his head at her when she gave him a perturbed look. "The boys had a karate class too, so I watched 'em do that."

"They didn't try to get you to join in?" He shrugged at her and she narrowed her eyes. "So they did.. "

"Maybe a little." He shifted his weight side to side slightly. "I'm gonna go see if Sean needs help makin' dinner." Three steps away, he suddenly turned and came back to gaze down at her for a few seconds. "Thanks.. it was nice that ya got me a jacket." He stood still for a few more seconds then very deliberately reached around her carefully in what could have been the most awkward hug she'd ever had. Then he ducked his head in embarrassment and hurried off to the kitchen.

"Oh.. he's learning. Slowly.." She smiled to herself and turned to Sallah. "Yes dear.. I do think the skirt suits you."

* * * *

SnakeEyes propped his chin on one hand, sitting backwards on the chair in the room he and Scarlett were sharing. She was happily displaying the outfits she'd bought that day, and almost more importantly, displaying a lot of herself in between.

"I got another blouse.. silk.. feel.. feel it!" She held out the long sleeve and let him stroke the back of his fingers down it. "I love silk.. " Bending down, she kissed his cheekbone lightly. "Oh and a new sweater.. and it's a cashmere blend.. "

He lifted his hands up to sign in slow fluid motions. *The clothing pales in comparison to the person wearing them.* She smiled warmly at him as he twisted off the chair and slide his arms around her waist.

Tilting her face up, she brushed lips along his jawline. "You say the sweetest things." Turning in his arms, she plucked up a bag and presented it to him. "I got you a new sweater.. it's like the one you got from alpaca wool? But it's in dark blue.. and I also got you silk thermals, in case you ever get sent anywhere that you'll actually be cold."

He nodded at her. *Thank you. I like the alpaca wool.* He set the bag aside. *I missed you today. We haven't had much time together this trip.* His hands returned to her waist, drawing her in close so he could brush his lips across hers.

"You know everyone will wonder what's taking so long up here.." Despite her words, she failed to pull away from him. "We.. we should really go downstairs." Strong hands slid up under her blouse, lifting it up over her head to be placed aside on the dresser.

*You have to take off the new clothes, takes time.* He stroked her gently and urged her backwards until her legs touched the bed. *Takes lots... lots of time.*

"Hmmm... yess.. lots of time.."

* * * *

BeachHead was back to watching the bread being made. Sean finally just pointed out a tall stool and put the Ranger to the side so he could watch without being in the way.

"So now I kneaded it up nicely..." The young man divided the dough into two lumps. "Set this one aside. And I'm going to flatten this out.. and then we put plenty of the cinnamon-sugar mix onto it. Roll it up.. " Suiting actions to words, he quickly flipped the dough about and tucked the edge into place. "And there.. one loaf of cinnamon bread ready to bake.. after we let it rise one last time." He quickly prepped the second loaf and put them onto a pan to set aside. "You know, by the time you make it back to base, you might be able to work KP duty without destroying the kitchen."

Beach snorted good-naturedly. "I don't generally get put on KP duty much anymore."

"What? You don't get into trouble?" Sean seemed amazed and the sergeant shrugged at him. "Are you maybe fibbing just a little bit? I bet you get into a lot of trouble."

"Naw.. not me. I'm pretty by-the-book. I ain't a young grunt no more, gotta stay in line and be responsible." He reached up to run a hand through his hair and looked aside. "I wasn't never much fer gettin' in trouble no how. I usually got in trouble fer fighting with someone who wasn't doin' what I thought they oughta be doin'."

"Oh? And here I thought you'd be in trouble all the time.. be some sort of a hell-raiser." Sean raised an eyebrow. "You realize, I can go ask Shana how often you're in trouble?" At the uncaring shrug, he sighed. "Oh fine. So what do you actually do.. say on a typical day?"

BeachHead hummed softly, chewing on his lip just a bit. "Ahh.. I get up early.. work out, go fer a run. I supervise the PT fer the green.. umm.. the grunts, then the specialists. Then I usually hafta go to the offices, do a lotta paperwork. After lunch? It depends.. sometimes I'm in the armory.. workin' on whatever needs workin' on. Sometimes it's back to the offices. I gotta consult a lot on who needs disciplinin' and who deserves promotions.. who needs moved to a different unit. If any of the grunts has some sorta beef with someone, they come tell me.. and I gotta deal with all that. Maybe do some in-field training, jus' whatever the officers end up tellin' me I gotta take care of." He thought it over. "That's about it. I got a lotta little things to take care of every day.. and there's a lotta PT and other trainin' I supervise or assign. A'course, that's assumin' I ain't been sent out.. off base.. to do.. uhh.. whatever the higher-ups got fer me to do. You know.. stuff."

Sean carefully didn't look at him as he pulled the oven open. "Yeah.. the 'stuff' that gets you those nasty scars you carry on you."

BeachHead brightened. "Yeah.. you get it." Sean rolled his eyes and the Ranger frowned. "What?"

"You guys... you're all mental. Anyway... that's it for the bread lessons. Now it just bakes.. until it's time to take it out."

"So.. how long until it's all done?" Beach Head leaned to peer into the oven, and nearly fell off the stool.

"Don't start up. There'll be no eating of the cinnamon bread until tomorrow morning. Besides.. when it's hot out of the oven, it actually has a off taste to it. You'll like it better in the morning." Sean gave a shooing motion to the Army sergeant. "Alright.. out. Dinner is cooking all by itself, so go on, out of the kitchen."

Letting himself be shooed, Beach wandered back out into the living room and glanced around for his two friends. "Where'd Snakes and Shana end up?"

There was a general glancing around from most of the room's occupants. Scott nodded upwards. "They're upstairs.. " BeachHead rolled his eyes. "Yeah.. most likely no one wants to go see what they're doing.."

"Gawd no.." Instead the sergeant major moved to check the firewood rack. "Think we'll need more wood? I'll go fetch some."

Once outside, he looked over the sparse pile of split wood and decided he could probably get away with splitting wood for a while before someone came to drag him back inside. He felt it was a legitimate activity and with the small amount of already split wood, he could point and declare it wasn't right to use up the already split wood when he could split more to use instead. He felt excessively clever and hunted down the ax and wedges to begin working on the pile of short logs.

* * * *

By the time someone came to look for him, he'd gotten warmed up to the point of peeling off his teeshirt. Swinging the ax stretched his shoulders out nicely. He would have liked a set of gloves, but he was afraid if he went inside to ask, they wouldn't let him back outside to continue splitting the wood.

He did note that Sarah had come to the back porch, spotted him and stood around a while before she went inside, to come back out with Amy. He wasn't very sure what was fascinating about wood splitting, but if they wanted to watch wood splitting, he supposed they could. When June came running out, he put out a hand to stop her several feet away.

"Don't you come running up here!" She stopped and gave him a pout. "Naw.. it's dangerous. I gotta ax swingin' it all over. No rushin' up when ya see someone with a ax, got it?"

She nodded. "Uh-huh. Can I come up NOW?"

He sighed and nodded. She rushed up to hug his leg, and he scuffed her pixie cut hair for her. "When did ya get here?"

"An hour ago! Mommy said you was outside cutting woods!" She giggled when he pushed her sideways.

"Alright alright.. get off me so I can get back to work." He flipped a hand at her. "Back up.. you wanna get hit in the head with a chunk of wood? Move back."

"But I can help!" He lowered his brows at her in a frown. "I can so!! I carry the woods!"

"No.. you stay back outa the way.. if'n ya wanna help, go find me some gloves." She raced off, and he went back to swinging the ax, easily splitting most of the small logs into usable wood. She came back and stopped when he put a hand up.

"I finded gloves!" She held up two of Sean's oven mitts and he laughed. "They ARE gloves!"

"Go put those back before we both get busted, we won't get dinner. Yes.. thank you.. but I can't use those. Ask Sean for a pair of workgloves." She nodded and raced off again and he glanced up at the two women standing on the back porch. They whispered back and forth a bit but didn't say anything to him so he went back to work.

"WAYNE!"

He jumped so badly he missed the log he was chopping at and bounced it off the stump he was using as a platform, whacking his shinbone painfully with the back of the ax.

Gritting his teeth, he hopped sideways, trying manfully to not let loose with his normal cursing. "MOTHER.... fudger... dang it.. " He whooshed his breath out. Putting a hand down towards his leg, he stopped himself and stood up straight, taking a few deep breaths. "Dang that hurts."

"Wayne, dear lord!! Did you cut yourself!" Aunt Beth ran over to him as he shook his head. "Are you sure!? What are you doing out here?"

"I WAS cutting some wood, a'fore ya went and screamed at me." He stood with his hands on his hips a minute, trying to will the pain away from his shin. "OW!!!" Giving up, he bent and tugged the torn pants leg aside to look at his leg. "Oh great.. I'm bleedin' on my danged boots again."

"WHAT??" Nothing would do but Aunt Beth made him sit on the porch steps for her to check his leg. "Wayne.. this needs to be seen at a doctor's." He peered at the bloody gash. "I apologize for yelling.. I didn't expect to find you out here chopping wood.. that's the boys' job, not a guest."

He twisted his lips, letting her poke at the gash. "Well ya'll keep sayin' I'm like family.. I guess I should do chores like one of the boys.." He didn't bother to duck the smack to his head at all. "Ow.. wounded here.. "

"You are a disaster magnet, Wayne. And you two ladies!!" Aunt Beth raised her voice to Sarah and Amy who looked startled. "You can just stop with the oogling and go back inside." BeachHead saw them turning red just before they rushed inside. "That's right.. terrible.. I want to clean this up properly and get it bandaged. So take yourself inside to the kitchen.."

"Aww... it's fine.. really. I've banged myself up worse than this before.." He sighed as she tugged on his arm and got to his feet reluctantly. "Lemme guess.. you'll pour something horrible on it to make it burn, then you'll put a bandage on it that'll get hung up on my pants and pull loose, taking half my leg hairs off with it. Am I close?"

She nodded. "You got it exactly right, except you left out the part where I fuss about it the whole time."

"Oh... sorry. Not used to that part.. our medic usually just berates me while he does all that." He suddenly grinned at her as he stepped into the warmer kitchen. "Of course.. he's not silly enough to shout at me while I'm swinging an ax!" He didn't bother to duck that swat to his head either, figuring he deserved that one. "Ow.. wounded again here! By the way.. don't the boys chop wood on a regular basis?" At her nod he hummed to himself, settling on one of the kitchen chairs and beginning to work the pants leg up. "So... how come Amy and Sarah was fascinated to see wood gettin' chopped?"

She sighed at him, giving him one of 'those' looks that said 'Beach is completely clueless'. Then she pulled out a small box. From the white cross on the side, he guessed it was their medical kit. "It wasn't the wood they were leering at.. let's say."

"Well what.. oh geez... " He felt his face go red. "Oh gawd help me.. this family's gonna give me an aneurism yet."

Aunt Beth settled a chair in front of him and tapped the one next to her. "Put your foot up here.." As he feared, she had the bottle of alcohol in hand and poured some onto a cotton pad. Placing his foot up so she could reach the wound easily, he grimaced in preparation. She looked at his face and laughed slightly. "Wayne.. I haven't even touched it yet."

"Ah know.. Ah'm practicin'.. " He did wince as the alcohol touched down. His leg quivered slightly. "Ooooooowwww!!"

"Don't be a baby. And what do you expect? You go out there, getting sweaty with your shirt off, showing off all those muscles.. I'm just surprised they didn't have a camcorder running." She seemed to enjoy the fact that his face was going to burst into flame any second. "Well.. this isn't as bad as I thought it might be." She turned as June came into the kitchen with Jack in tow.

"BeachHead is hurt! See!?" June came over to peer at the leg herself. "He needs a bandaid!"

Beach smiled at her despite himself. "I'm fine.. it's just a little cut, no big OW OWWW!! Stop pouring that danged stuff on it!!" June had jumped when he squawked and he shook his head. "Ooooooo! Sorry June.. didn't mean to scare ya.. that stuff stings like the dickens.."

She nodded solemnly. "It's burny! Mommy used it on me when I scraped my knee!"

He grinned. "Yep.. my mommy used to use it on my scraped knees too."

Jack peered at the ragged cut and turned a light shade of green. "Oh... ewww.. I'm gonna be ill. How'd you do that, Beach?"

"Hit my leg with the ax... the back of the axhead.. when SOMEone decided to yell at the top of her lungs at me." He grimaced as the alcohol was reapplied. "OW.. sadistic woman.."

"Well if you hadn't been hiding outside.. doing chores which the boys should have been doing... perhaps I wouldn't have yelled your name when I saw you." She turned to glare at Jack.

"Hey! I didn't know the crazy army guy was chopping wood outside." He tried to glare at BeachHead who just ignored him.

"I was just splitting some wood fer the fire.. no big deal." He watched as Aunt Beth taped a bandage over the gash. "Ya ain't gotta use the WHOLE roll of tape.. "

"Wayne... shut up. You just can't spend a normal day like a normal person, can you?" She sighed and waved a hand for him to put the pants leg back down. "Do you want me to patch that pair of pants for you?"

He stood up, shaking his leg to settle the cloth over it. "Naw.. jus' a old pair of fatigue pants.. worn out anyway. Can't wear a patch in the front like that fer inspection." He suddenly looked down and made a face. "I gotta go grab my shirt.. left it outside.."

Aunt Beth held up a finger. "No. Jack you go get his shirt.. otherwise, he'll 'happen' to start splitting wood again."

Beach did sigh in regret, apparently he was not as sneaky as he thought. "Now would I do that?" He grinned at the frown she gave him. "Yeah yeah.. I know." He bent his head over to her for her to give it a light slap. "Thanks fer patching up my leg." Taking the shirt from the returned Jack he slipped it on. "Can I go carry in some of the split wood?"

Beth frowned harder. "No. You may not. Jack.." The youngest of the O'Haras sighed and gave them both a mournful look. "Don't make me..." He scurried out quickly and she gave Beach a nudge towards the living room. "Get in there.. silly boy. I interrupted my knitting to go check to see what you were getting into."

"Aww.. that's nice. Spying on me like ya think I'll abscond with the good silver?" He winced as he got another tap on his head. "Or maybe ya thought I was out there lurking and plotting to murder everyone with a spoon?" Another harder whap. "Settin' up sniper positions?" He yelped at that whack. "Alright alright.. enough."

"You are impossible." He stepped into the living room ahead of her and she motioned him to settle near her. She took over her usual chair next to the fire. "Hand me that bag, Wayne.."

Lifting up the cloth purse, he handed it over and then looked to see where he could sit. She patted the end of the couch next to her so he sat down, watching as she got out a bundle of yarn and half-made sweater. "Yer makin' a sweater?" Realizing he looked a bit too interested, he sat back and looked away, listening to the surrounding conversations. Several were discussing the shopping trip and he stopped listening before his eyes glazed over completely.

Suddenly Sarah and Amy came in carrying some items to show off, but they were not discussing shopping. His ears turned red as he heard them chattering happily.. about him.

Sarah nodded at a unheard comment. "Oh yeah.. I could watch him chop wood for hoooours. He's got some really pretty muscles going on."

Amy agreed with a hum. "Pity he's got so many scars all over. Otherwise, he'd be so hot.." She glanced to see her husband was out of hearing. "I mean.. he's got the body to be such a stud.. I'm surprised Shana didn't chose him instead of Snakes.. but he's got a gorgeous body too.. except for all the.. you know.. scarring."

Sarah snorted at her. "Nothing wrong with a few scars.. " Her voice lowered enough that Beach had to strain to hear her. "I think it makes him look.. 'spicy'." They giggled together like little kids and he finally twisted to look over the back of the couch.

"Don't ya'll have nothin' better to discuss?" He raised an eyebrow at them in a cue that he was mildly displeased with being their topic of discussion.

"Well.." Sarah tilted her head and stepped over closer. "No.. not really. So why don't you tell us why you don't already have a girlfriend hanging on your arm? You're awfully good looking.. and have a great body.. so?"

He blushed, appalled at her boldness. "Probably my lack of a sterling personality.. as ya'll keep pointin' out." He turned back to Aunt Beth. "Can't ya do nothin' about them talkin' about me like a piece of meat?"

She smiled at him. "I could.. but why would I do that? You are nice looking, you need a nice girl. It would settle you down." Her smile widened at the look of near panic on his face. "Don't worry.. I won't be setting you up with anyone, I promise."

"WHAT? No.. ya better nah be tryin' ta set me up wit' no one!" He huffed slightly. "Las' thing Ah need is some woman tryin' ta go settin' me up." He glared at her.

Completely unperturbed, the matron began to straighten out her yarn project. "I said I won't.. calm down Wayne." He eyed her suspiciously. "Besides.. you said you kind of had someone possibly you were thinking about maybe asking out.. remember?"

"Well.. maybe.." He tried to slow his racing heart. It wasn't that the woman could force him to get involved with anyone if he didn't want to.. really. She couldn't. Not at all, even HAWK couldn't force him to.. not that the general would want him getting involved with someone. He looked at Aunt Beth again. "I swear.. ya'll gonna kill me here yet.."

"Well, we're not trying to! Here.. look at the knitting. You're too high strung Wayne.. you need to do something simple and soothing and relaxing." She dug into her bag and pulled out a set of needles and a ball of yarn. "Here.."

"What? I dunno how to do that." He held up his hands to protest and had her deposit the items into them anyway. "Aunt Beth.. I can't knit."

"Not yet you can't. Are you going to tell me you can't learn how to knit?" She watched him think that over. "It's nothing more than tying knots. You can tie a knot, right? They teach you boys how to tie lots of knots in the Army school."

"Basic training.. yeah." He looked over the needles and yard. "Does it gotta be _pink_ yarn though?" She sighed at him. "Come on.. it's PINK fer gawd's sake."

"You act like knitting is woman's work. How about this.. is purple more acceptable to your manly senses?" She handed over the ball of soft yarn. "You should appreciate that this purple is hand dyed Merino wool." Looking at him trying to look impressed and failing miserably, she sighed. "It's very special high end yarn made from very very good wool, and it's hand dyed, not a machine batch."

"Okay.. so ya don't mind me screwin' up yer nice yarn?" He unrolled a bit of it and fingered it. "It's really soft."

She nodded and tucked the half-finished sweater away. "Okay.. look at what I'm going to show you. Take the end.. and put a loop in it.. " She demonstrated with the rejected pink yarn. "Okay.. now take your needle.. either one Wayne.. no.. it doesn't matter which."

He picked up needle and watched her twisting the yarn around her fingers. "Okaaay.." She corrected how he was holding the yarn several times, until she finally reached over and put the yarn where she wanted it. "Alright.. now what?"

"Now you take the needle.. and tuck it through this piece of yarn.. then back over to this one.. pull it through like so.. " She turned it all loose again and started over. "Now you do it.. through here.. noo.. here.." She turned loose and poked his hand to move the needle under the correct bit of yarn. "There.. and then back to this line... good.. and then pull it through.. "

He puffed out a breath, loosing the bit of yarn off the needle and needing to re-do it completely. "Alright.. so.. now it's tied to the stick. Yay me. Am I done?"

"Is it a scarf? Then you're not done. Do it again.. front line.. back to the third line.. pull it through.. turn loose of this bit.. tighten.. perfect. Again." She smiled to herself as he bent over the needle, struggling to make the casting on stitches properly.

"How many times I gotta tie knots on the stick? And how is it gonna be a scarf if it's just string tied on a stick?" He lost his piece of yarn again and carefully wound the bits around his fingers again. Aunt Beth reached to pull the lines loose and switched the two string ends around. "What? I had it backwards? Does it matter?"

"Yes.. it matters. You'll run out of yarn if you try to use the end instead of the piece that goes to the ball.. now.. cast on.." After a few more, she stopped him. "How many stitches do you have?"

"I dunno.. a bunch?" He counted them up. "Eighteen."

"Put on twenty-five stitches.." She waited while he struggled through until he finally sighed. "Okay.. now you'll do knitting.."

"I thought I was knittin'..." The Ranger looked at the yarn hanging over his rough hands.

"Shush.. take the second needle.." Aunt Beth tucked her needle tip in through a loop. "Through like this.. no.. behind the needle.. okay... now with your other hand, wrap the yarn around the needle.. no.. the other direction. And pull it through the loop.. perfect." She tugged the stitch off the needle. "And pull that loop off of the needle.. no no! Only that one.. not all of them!" She sighed as he undid all the work he'd done.

"Great... so now what? I gotta tie all of them back on?" BeachHead laboriously wended his way through putting the twenty-five stitches back onto his knitting needle, and took up the second needle to stop and look at her. "Show me again.." When he got the yarn tucked and pulled and put into place, he very gently tugged the stitch off. "Got it.. and then I jus' do that again? How many times I gotta do this?"

Aunt Beth smiled as he carefully wound his bits of yarn around the needles. "Keep doing it until you run out of stitches on the first needle." Eventually he got all of them knitted onto the second needle and triumphantly held it up for her. "I don't think you dropped any stitches.. that's very good. Now turn it around.. and do it again.."

He sighed at her, dropping the project into his lap, while carefully holding it correctly, he didn't want to lose the yarn off the silly needles. "So you just keep doing that over and over?"

"Yes.. it's soothing.. and repetitive. So do it again.." She watched him working at the yarn carefully, stitch by stitch and picked up her own half-finished sweater to continue working along it. After a few minutes of quiet work, she chided him. "Don't try to go so fast.. you'll drop a stitch."

"Well yer going ten times as fast as me." He puffed a few times in exasperation. "This is a lot harder than darning is."

"You can darn? That's impressive. But I've been knitting since I was eight years old. So just go slow and make sure you're doing it right." She settled in and let him futz about with the yarn.

Scarlett's voice seemed overly amused. "What are you doing Beach?" She looked over the back of the couch. He noted that she looked excessively smug and resolutely turned his mind away from thinking about the probable cause of that smug satisfied expression.

"Knittin'... why? Ya got something to say about it?" He frowned as he looked at the loops in his fingers. "Oh dang it.. ya made me lose my place.. where did the little loopy bit go?" Aunt Beth fixed it for him. "Thanks.. I got it.. "

SnakeEyes came trotting down the steps and immediately had to come peer at the yarn in BeachHead's lap. *I didn't know you knew how to do that.*

Beach smiled smugly to himself, carefully watching his stitches. "I couldn't.. Aunt Beth showed me how to do it! It's jus' tying knots over and over.."

Aunt Beth smiled at him. "Knitting is nothing more than a series of slipknots. SnakeEyes.. would you like to learn as well? I have extra needles."

He frowned under the mask but she raised an eyebrow at him in challenge. "Unless you think that you won't be able to do it.."

He flopped onto the couch, gesturing grandly. *Give me needles and yarn.. if Beach can do it, then I can do it too.*

* * * *

After an hour, Beach held up his project for her to inspect. After a quick examination, she handed it back. "Very nice. You'll make the stitches more even as you practice more." She turned to SnakeEyes who shook his head. "Let's see."

He sighed heavily, looking up at her from behind his dark lenses. Handing it over with a resigned air, he looked away as she held up the tangled mess. *Yarn doesn't like me.* He glared at BeachHead who wisely had gone back to his knitting without commenting. *Beach has more practice.*

Now the sergeant looked over. "Only a few minutes.. not like I been doin' this." He looked smugly at his yarn. "I'm just more careful about my knittin', so mine looks better."

Aunt Beth scolded at him in a mild tone. "Now don't be mean to SnakeEyes.. " She unraveled his errant yarn as she spoke. "Just because he didn't get it the first try is no reason for you to be smug." She motioned to the commando. "Roll the excess back up, and start over." Turning back to BeachHead, she motioned at his efforts. "You can take that with you when you leave. It'll give you something to do when you haven't got anything else to get into."

"Yeah.. cause I often have hours to fill with nothing to do.." He smiled as SnakeEyes coughed out laughter. "Sittin' around twiddlin' my thumbs.."

Aunt Beth shushed at him. "Don't be a smart mouth." She shook out the sweater and looked it over. "Maybe when I finish this one, I'll knit you a new one SnakeEyes. I saw you're wearing out your old one."

BeachHead tried not to feel the flash of jealousy that rose up. He glanced over at the commando who was attempting to get the yarn straightened out to cast on the first row of stitches. "That blue sweater?"

Sighing at him, SnakeEyes put down the knitting to be able to sign to him. *Yes, my blue sweater, it has a few holes in it. I wanted to put a patch or something on it, but I don't sew.* He paused and looked to make sure Scarlett was out of the room. *I've been hiding it to make sure Scarlett doesn't throw it out.*

Beach shook his head. "I can fix it fer ya. No reason to toss out a perfectly good sweater." At the disbelieving look, he snorted. "I'll darn it up fer ya, be easy. We just need some of the same color yarn. Be good as new."

The commando nodded at him. *Thank you. I'd appreciate it a lot.*

"No problem." Beach suddenly yawned, trying to hide it behind a raised forearm. "Sorry."

Aunt Beth sighed at him. "I think it's about time we got something to eat." Setting aside her yarn, she went to check on the dinner. He and SnakeEyes ended up putting aside their knitting lesson to have dinner. The family was busily discussing the shopping trip and the upcoming tournament, so Beach was left mostly to himself to eat.

Amy passed a basket of bread down to him. "How's the pot roast?"

He swallowed his mouthful of food. "Excellent.. tastiest pot roast I've had in a long time." He took a thick slice of bread and handed the rest down to SnakeEyes, who'd been persuaded to join them with a great deal of begging and argument from Scarlett and Sarah both. The commando had given in only after Aunt Beth had seemed about to join their efforts.

He was keeping his face low, but over the past half hour had relaxed somewhat. BeachHead was doing his best to provide cover by leaning into the line of sight if anyone seemed about to stare overly much. *Thank you.*

Amy cleared her throat slightly. "We're going to be leaving once dinner is done with.. there's a long drive for us to get back home. Tom's folks live only a couple hours north of here so we'll stop there for the night." He nodded politely. "It was really good to get to meet you though. And.. " She leaned forward to talk around him. "It was always good to see you again SnakeEyes.. June will be talking for weeks about this holiday."

*Always good to see you and T.O.M. and little bug.* SnakeEyes exchanged a glance with his friend. *I think BeachHead will miss June.*

BeachHead concentrated on his plate suddenly, unwilling to join in. SnakeEyes waited a beat before continuing. *You should drive safely. Be careful.*

Amy peered carefully at the stoic man before nodding at SnakeEyes. "We will be. You take care of yourself.. and watch after Shana."

The commando nodded and she hesitantly reached to give BeachHead a cautious pat on his arm once. "You stay safe too.. don't do anything to give yourself any more scars, okay?"

He shrugged slightly. "I'll try, jus' part a the job. It was good to meetcha.. all of ya."

Jack came by and motioned at his plate. "You feeling sick, BeachHead? You've only inhaled one plate of food."

The Ranger got up suddenly, shaking his head as he took his dishes to the kitchen sink. "Naw.. I'm fine." Putting them into the soapy water, he took himself out to the back porch to stand and watch the darkening sky. Already dim out, the shadows were deepening across the yard and the field further out. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly.

"Wayne?" He smiled ruefully to himself. He should have guessed he couldn't hide from Aunt Beth. "Are you okay? You didn't eat much.."

"I'm fine." He cursed inside his head at his clipped tone. "Jus' didn't feel much like eatin' more."

She walked up to stand beside him. "Really? Because I believe I smell a bit of deceit in the air. You started out with your normal gusto for good home cooking." She inhaled the night air. "It's very nice out.. getting chilly though."

"Yep.. nice out." Tilting his head up, he watched the stars beginning to wink to life overhead. "I shouldn't have come..."

The matron gave him a sharp glance. "Why would you say that?"

"Jus'... I was happy before.. alone.." He considered how to say what he felt. "I guess.. I'm gonna miss this. Jus' a little bit.. ya know. I'm such a fish outa water here.. I don't fit in. But." He stopped and scuffed one of his boots against the top step a few times. "But I guess I kinda wish I did.. some. But I belong in the Army.. I do. I'd never fit in to civie life, and I guess I never regretted that a'fore this stupid trip. Now ya'll gone and rubbed my face in that fact."

She reached to rub his arm. "We didn't mean to do anything hurtful. We just wanted you to feel welcome." He twitched away from her touch. "You know.. you can come back here again."

He looked at her in confusion. "Whaddaya mean, come back?"

Shaking her head at him, she stepped a little closer to look up at his face in the extremely dim light. "Wayne.. you can come back again. Just like SnakeEyes... he comes to visit when he has time off and feels like putting up with this crazy family. You can do the same thing."

He shook his head. "Naw.. people don't want me back.. Scarlett talked everyone into letting me come along.. but people don't never want me around once they meet me."

She gave a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry it's been like that. But it's not true here. I would love for you to come visit at my house anytime. Without Shana or SnakeEyes along even. Anytime."

"Really?" His voice held such a small hint of hope in it that it twisted her heart.

"Oh you poor boy." She stepped up and hugged him despite his twitch of reaction. "Wayne, you can come visit me anytime you like. You don't even have to call me first, you could show up on my doorstep at an ungodly hour of the morning, and I promise, I'd let you right in."

Suddenly he bent slightly to wrap his arms around her shoulders and squeeze. "Really? Ain't no one ever told me I was welcome at their home. Not since I was a small, anyway." He took a deep breath. "Thank you."

She turned loose and looked up at him. "You're quite welcome. And don't forget, you can call me, or write me also. Don't think I won't expect to hear from you on occasion, even if it's just to read a letter saying 'everything is fine so don't go worrying about me, beachhead'."

He smiled at her. "I'll try, but I ain't much fer letter writin'. Only letters I write these days is one anyone should ever hafta get."

She raised a eyebrow. "All the more reason to write a better type of letter. I'll be expecting to hear about your progress with that ladyfriend of yours too."

He ducked his head, even though she couldn't possibly see the blush. "Yeah.. progress report will probably be 'no progress to report'."

"Don't disappoint me, Wayne, I'll have to come up there and have a chat with her myself." Her firm tone made him nervous that she'd end up doing just that, and he wasn't sure he'd want to see a showdown between Hawk and this matron if she did show up on the base somehow demanding to have a good talking to with a certain tank jockey and drill instructor.

He nodded. "I'll try not to disappoint ya."

"Let's go inside.. it's getting cold out here." She nudged him inside. Moving to the living room, he managed to settle onto the couch again, staying out of the way, and pretending to futz about with his knitting project. If anyone noticed that he was barely putting any stitches on at all, they didn't mention it.

June came dodging around the end of the couch and pounced onto BeachHead making him grunt loudly. "Good gawd.. yer gonna kill me kiddo." He moved his yarn and needles out of the way.

She hugged his neck tightly. "I'm going now! Mommy said to come say bye!" He was soundly kissed on one cheek and patted her.

"Alright.. you.. you take care. Be good." He blinked a little bit.

She hugged his neck again. "I'll miss you! When will you come back!?" He put a hand on her back and rubbed her gently, exchanging a paniced look with Scarlett who had just entered the room.

His friend held her arms out to June. "Come give me a hug too, SnakeEyes wants his goodbye hugs.." The little girl climbed onto her and she handed her off to the ninja who gave her hugs as well. Amy and Tom came into the room, so everyone got to their feet.

Beach motioned towards the door. "Ahh.. you need help carrying stuff?"

Tom shook his head. "Nope.. got it all packed up. It was good to meet you BeachHead." They shook hands and he moved to talk with the O'Hara boys. Amy took his hand in hers to say goodbye as well and he nodded politely, moving aside out of the way as the rest of the family exchanged farewells. June came back to climb on him, so he bent and picked her back up.

She clung to his neck again. "I don't wanna go! You should come with us!"

He blinked again, shaking his head. "I can't darlin'. I gotta go back to the base."

She tightened her grip. "But I'll miss you!"

"Aww.. that's awfully sweet, but I just came to visit.. I can't jus' stay here." He put her down and pried her arms from his neck despite her protests. "Hey hey.. stop fussin'. Sometimes we gotta do stuff we don't like.. and you gotta go home now, and I gotta go back to my home too."

"But when will you come visit again?" She tried to squeeze past his hands to wrap her arms around his neck again and he grasped her gently to hold her away from him.

"I dunno when."

"But you have to!" She stomped her foot.

"Now look here." He glared at her. "Do you want me to lie to you? No? Then you'll have to accept that I don't know if I can come visit again. That's jus' how things are." He reached to wipe her cheeks gently with the edge of his finger. "Stop sheddin' tears over me. I'm jus' a ole Army guy.. nothin' to get all bothered about."

She struggled free of his hands and hugged him again anyway. "Nuh-uh!! You're my friend!" He indulged her in one last hug and then took her to her mother.

"Amy.. yer gonna hafta pry yer small offa me." He stood patiently while the young woman pulled her daughter free. "Sorry.."

"It's not your fault BeachHead. She's always like this.. normally it's over SnakeEyes.. or Jack.. it's just your turn." She hefted the little girl in her arms. "Honey stop crying.. look. If you want to, I'll bet BeachHead would like you to write him a letter once we get home. How's that?"

BeachHead twitched slightly but nodded, reluctant to oppose June's mother. "Uhh.. yeah. I can give Paddy an address to write to. I have to look it up.."

She smiled at him, shaking her head. "You don't know the address?"

He took a long breath in and out. "Well.. ya can't send me a letter to where I'm at.. ya gotta send it to a different address, and they reroute it to me where I am. It's how the Army does it to make things more complex, see? I don't never get no letters from folks no more. So I dunno what address they'll be usin'. I bet Scarlett knows.. or some of the family sendin' her stuff all the time, they'd know."

She shook her head. "I don't know how you folks deal with all that strange Army stuff. Wait.. what name should I put on the letter?"

He grinned widely. "Sergeant Major BeachHead. Trust me.. it'll get to where it's supposed to go. Long as it's got the right address on it, our guys will get it to me."

She reached to give him a quick hug with her free arm. "Well, I'm sure she'll want to send you a letter. I have to go let her have a conniption over leaving SnakeEyes now. Thank you BeachHead.. for being so kind to her especially."

"Weren't no nevermind.. she's a good kid." He watched her move off to find the commando and saw her hugging him tightly. Turning to look at the fire in the fireplace, he wiped at his face a little bit. The hubbub over them leaving died down eventually.

"BeachHead?" Scarlett came to stand next to him. "You okay? You're awfully quiet."

"Yeah.. I'm fine." He breathed in and out slowly and then turned to her. "I'm gonna head up to grab a shower and go to bed." He took a couple of steps away before he turned to look at her. "Thanks.. fer bringin' me along." Without waiting for a reply, he walked off, taking the stairs at a quick pace.

She watched him disappear up the staircase. "Well.. what do you know.. it really did work."

SnakeEyes came to wrap his arms around her from behind, pressing his cheek against her head gently. He signed in front of her. *What worked?*

She leaned back into his solid presence, feeling the warmth from the fireplace and the heat from him behind her. "Bringing Beach here.. I think he's actually enjoyed it, I think he'll miss it just a little bit."

SnakeEyes hesitated before he responded. *But is that a good thing.. or a cruel thing? Did you show him what he doesn't have, or did you share what you have with him?*

She stood quietly a few moments. "I don't know.. I hope I shared, not that I hurt him. It's just not fair that a guy who gives everything to the military doesn't ever even get letters from family."

Again SnakeEyes hesitated. *He doesn't have any family, Scarlett.*

She frowned. "He has a sister.. she used to send him packages. Way back.."

He shook his head. *Dead. He hasn't got any family left that I know of. He was estranged from most of them, but his sister died, and he said he didn't have anyone else. Why do you think he doesn't ever ask to stop over in Alabama when we pass through?*

"I didn't think about it, I thought it was just Beach being by-the-book and not wanting to stop while on the move." She sighed. "That's really sad. But I've already heard Aunt Beth say she's going to keep in touch with him. Maybe we can convince him to come back again."

*Maybe.* He rubbed his cheek under the mask along her neck gently. *I love you. Your family is all crazy, but at least they made you.* He felt her smile. *And I always make a lot of money winning bets from your brothers.*

"Don't think you aren't sharing that fudge."

He sighed. *Wouldn't dream of not sharing.. with you. But not with anyone else.*

"You'll share with Beach too. He did the push-ups." Her voice was firm in the tone that said it wasn't a suggestion or demand.. it was a statement of fact.

*Okay.. that's fair.* He paused. *I'm not sharing with the other guys though.. even if they give you pitiful looks when the package arrives.*

"Aww.. not even Dusty? He's got the most pitiful puppy dog eyes though.."

*If he tries to use them on me, I'll stab them out. MY fudge.*

"Nasty ninja. Didn't they teach you about 'sharing' in ninja school?"

He coughed in laughter a little. *Ninjas don't have to share.. it's not a thing we do well. We also run with scissors.. and swords.. shurikins.. daggers.. throwing spikes.. *

"Oh.. shut up."

* * * *

END Chapter:

Well, getting near the end of the visit. I'll try to update again sooner without such a long wait in between! Please review, and comment. I love to hear if you're enjoying!


	26. Chapter 26: Farewell

Chap 26

An update, yes.. a real update. And just because you've had to wait so long... it's a long update. This story is really getting close to done.. only a couple more chapters and it's finished.

The last morning at the O'Hara residence. Time to say goodbye finally. Sorry it took so long but this story was just coming up dry and I deleted a lot of this chapter a few times to rewrite it, or rewrite sections from scratch again. I still feel like it's rough, but it's not improving. If I rewrite AGAIN, I'll just re-upload it.

Anytime you might worry that I've forgotten a story, please feel free to message me and ask! I am trying to keep up all the different fics, because if I get hung up on one(like this one was) I can normally move to work on another one instead of not writing anything at all. So yes, I'm still working on the Little Medic, and Ninja Hunting. Haven't forgotten them at all.

Your reviews have been SO very awesome on this story, and I'm glad that everyone seems to be enjoying it so much! Now, On to the story!

* * * *

Beach sighed in his sleep, turning over restlessly and twitching. Lips moved soundlessly as he spoke to images inside his head. When he twisted himself over and braced a foot against the wall, he managed to push himself off the bed.

"Oomph..." Either his grunt or the loud thump of his body hitting the floor woke up Seth and he rolled over to look at him lying on the floor.

Seth blinked blearily at him. "You alright?"

"Yeah." He managed to get up and stared around in confusion. "Sorry."

"S'okay.." Seth disappeared back under his covers and Beach got dressed. His long run in the chilly air didn't satisfy him as it normally did, and he tried to blame the fact that he was wearing a jacket. Back in the yard and he walked around aimlessly to cool off, peeling the jacket open as he steamed.

Realizing he was frowning to himself about going back inside, he grunted and went inside to return to the room. Showering and changing clothes, he quickly had his overnight bag repacked and the duffel was filled and secured at the side of the bed in short order. Packing for years for sudden deployments to the field meant he was a champion packer.

Seth peered at him. "Packing? Aren't ya'll leaving after noontime?"

"Yeah." He set the overnight bag on top of the duffel and pulled the covers off his bed, rolling them up neatly.

Siting up finally since BeachHead wasn't going to settle in, Seth rubbed his face. "Just leave all that, I'll be taking care of it in a bit."

He stopped and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yer sure?" Seth watched him twitch a couple times and fidget. "Alright.. I gotta go retrieve the rest of my weapons."

Seth sighed at him. "Sit down." He was given a suspicious look. "Seriously. Just sit down. You don't have to do anything right now, no one else is even awake yet. Even Aunt Beth won't be awake this early. I shouldn't be awake this early."

The Ranger settled onto the mattress and gazed at him. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, it's okay. Last day here, and you gotta say good bye to everyone. It's a nerve-wracking day coming up." He watched Beach fiddle with the edge of the blanket. "It's perfectly normal to feel like you don't want to leave.. even if you're looking forward to being back in Army life."

"Yeah?" When Seth nodded sincerely at him, BeachHead sighed heavily. "I appreciate ya'll havin' me here. Really. Jus' I ain't much fer being away from base."

"We noticed."

"Sorry."

Seth scooted forward to the edge of his bed and looked at him. "You realize, you can actually come back here some time. Like.. another vacation or holiday?"

"Yeah. Aunt Beth said I could come to her house anytime." He looked aside. "Ain't used to folks wantin' me around."

"BeachHead.. when's the last time you went home?" Seth paused. "If I'm not prying.."

BeachHead looked aside and shrugged. "My home is my bunk, been that way fer too many years." He glanced over at the younger man's expression and suddenly let out a harsh laugh. "Oh don't go feelin' all sorry fer me. I'm happy as a clam in the Army. When I walked into Basic trainin', I felt like I was in the right place finally. They didn't care where I was from, or what I owned. They just wanted me to 'do'. That was the best thing ever happen ta me." He grinned wickedly. "I ain't supposed to recruit ya'll boys though, so I better shut up a'fore yer sister comes in and catches me. She'll kick me in the head and I try to avoid that as much as I can."

Seth grinned back at him. "Yeah.. Sis can be terrifying. But trust me, you have zero chance at recruiting me.. I've seen what hour you get out of bed, and that alone puts me out of the running!"

Frowning, Beach got to his feet and stretched. "Yeah.. I sure ain't much fer laying around in bed much. Always something to do. I'd go split more wood.. do ya think Aunt Beth would have a conniption?"

Seth now chose to sigh at him heavily. "Really? Come on.. it's barely daylight.. you're going to make me feel guilty and I'll have to get up too."

The Rangers uncontrite expression made the boy groan. "Aww.. I make ya get up and do some work? Come on.. bet we could split most of the stack a'fore anyone else even gets up."

"Oh yeah, now I'll just bounce right out of bed." Seth sighed and flopped over to burrow back under the covers. "You go split wood all you want. Aunt Beth can only punish you for the next several hours." He waited until he heard the door opening up. "Of course.. she probably will be less inclined to mail you care packages if you defy her on the last day here."

The door shut with a light click. Seth's blanket was lifted up. "Whaddaya mean.. care packages?" The curious tone sounded far too hopeful. "Would ya be referrin' to the kind of care packets what come with baked goods inside?"

"Yes.. she's been known to pack up some baked good to ship off.. to certain good little boys who don't irk her on the last day of their visits." Seth's fingers grasped the edge of the blanket and yanked it loose and covered his head back up.

BeachHead stood up and considered that idea. He poked Seth once more. "Hey. Do ya really think she'd do that.. ya know.. fer me?"

Seth shifted to look out at him. "BeachHead.. seriously? She'd sign adoption papers on you. If she wasn't certain you'd flip out and die of a brain aneurism, she'd cuddle you. Yes.. I'm certain she'll send you stuff." He shook his head. "Heck.. even I want to stay in touch with you.. you're not a bad guy.. honestly. No matter how big and bad you think you are. A bad guy wouldn't defend his bud like you do for Snakes."

Flipping the edge of the blanket back over his face, BeachHead grunted softly. "Go back to sleep. I'll stay outa trouble. And.. thanks." Before Seth could poke his head back out, the door clicked behind him.

He looked at the closed door and sighed. "Not a bad guy.. weird.. but not all bad." He tucked himself back under the covers to go back to sleep.

* * * *

Beach paced downstairs. He tried not to think about going outside to get some work done. If he got caught, Aunt Beth would tear him a new one.. and he'd risk not getting sent packages. Even though he wanted to deny to himself that he cared one whit about getting packages or mail, he really couldn't lie to himself. Hearing your name called at mail call was always a warm feeling. It meant someone somewhere thought enough to bother with sending you something. Even BeachHead couldn't remain quite that aloof.

But of course.. if he went out and split some wood, but came in before anyone else was up, then he wouldn't get caught. He paced through the downstairs again, moving quietly room to room to room.

But if he did get caught, he wouldn't be risking just a letter or two. He'd be risking baked goods from Aunt Beth, and that was nothing to sneeze at. His eyes fell on the ball of purple yarn and he settled in next to the mostly banked fire to try some more knitting. After a few minutes he got the hang of it again and concentrated on putting on more stitches.

When Aunt Beth came through headed for the kitchen, she paused to raise an eyebrow at him. "Wayne.. good morning. I half-expected you'd be outside sneaking more work."

Without even pausing or looking at her, he replied blandly. "Would I do that?"

"In a heartbeat."

He smiled to himself. "Naw.. not me. Lazy layabout that I am.. I'll just doze by the fireplace here."

"Yes.. I'll believe that when pigs fly. Come help me make breakfast." She shook her head and walked into the kitchen without waiting for him. After a few minutes, he came to join her. Within half an hour, they had a hearty breakfast ready, and everyone was appearing, summoned by the delicious odors drifting up to the various rooms.

SnakeEyes came in looking extremely awake and alert, in contrast to most of the mornings this past week. BeachHead wondered if it was because the ninja was looking forward to leaving or if he was just finally caught up on missed sleep finally. Even the renowned commando had limits and was often run to the edge of his abilities by being sent on numerous missions without many breaks.

SnakeEyes poured himself a generous mug of coffee and added dollops of honey and cream before heading out to the porch to look at the weather and the surroundings like every morning. BeachHead was trying to make pancakes without burning any of them and watched over them carefully, checking any that might be ready to flip. Aunt Beth had chortled at him and let him know it wasn't rocket science and no one would mind if he burned one or two. Once he'd finished with those, he settled to eat... noting that whatever else, the commando and he both still had enough appetite for two regular people.

He was nudged and leaned over his plate slightly before he realized SnakeEyes was signing at him. "Sorry... what?"

*You will have plenty of time to pack, Scarlett is barely out of bed.* Reaching across the table, the commando plucked up the jam from under Seth's nose without him noticing. Spread on the biscuits, the jam was everyone's favorite.

Beach took the jar from him to get his own portion of jam. It was a mixed berry spread and he wished he could get some for breakfast back at the Pit. "I'm packed already." Licking his fingers, he got up and retrieved more coffee, refilling his friend's cup while he was up. "I ain't put my bags in the car yet though."

Shaking his head, SnakeEyes sighed at him. *I half expected to see you packed up in the car, waiting beside it anxiously. Are you so eager to leave?*

"Well.. sort of. I guess this trip was okay. Good people here.. but I jus' wanna get back to the Pit.. get back in my routine." He tried to sound casual, but he didn't want to seem offensive to anyone at the table. "Ain't that I don't appreciate the hospitality in the least. Can't imagine anyplace I'd ever wanna go better than here.. if I gotta go on vacation."

Seth finally realized where the jam had disappeared to and retrieved it, scowling at them for stealing it. "Well, I guess that's a ringing endorsement from BeachHead. Is it that bad to take some time off?"

"Yeah.. I like havin' my routine, gettin' my work done, doin' my job. Army life is a lot simpler in ways than all this civilian stuff. I mean.. ya'll gotta decide what to wear every mornin'. Sometimes you gotta even decide what to wear a few times during the day too. I ain't really got that issue.. all I gotta do is decide on light armor or heavy." He tucked the last bite of pancakes into his mouth and swallowed quickly. "I eat what the messhall has, no havin' to decide what to have for dinner."

SnakeEyes coughed in laughter at him. *No Aunt Beth doing the cooking.*

Snorting, BeachHead shrugged. "Can't have everything. Our messhall ain't bad.. ain't like here, but ain't bad. They do pretty good by us." The ninja agreed and then tilted his head back to let Scarlett plant a kiss on his forehead as she passed by behind them to get her own seat and begin eating breakfast. "Mornin' Scarlett, 'bout time you got yerself outa bed."

She smirked at him. "Yeah, I know.. you'll enjoy seeing me getting up at the regular hour back at base.. until then, I'm sleeping in. You'll just have to deal with it." He grunted at her and pulled open a last biscuit to slather jam on. Peering closely at him, she reached over to poke at his ribs, making him jump slightly and glare at her. "You know.. I think you've put on a few pounds there yourself Ranger man."

"Shut it. I ain't done no such thing." He shifted uncomfortably, absolutely refusing to pat himself down. Was his clothing tighter than before? Crazy. He didn't gain weight, it was hard enough for him to put back on pounds he dropped on hard missions. Doc and Lifeline would fuss if he dropped too many pounds and put him on high calorie shakes to supplement his meals. At least they wouldn't have anything to fuss over if he had put on a couple pounds. He sniffed dismissively. "Check yer own weight there Red. At least I still kept up with some of my trainin' out here."

Aunt Beth reached to tap his head sharply. "No squabbling at the table." He lowered his head slightly and grumbled under his breath quietly. "Wayne..." Her voice held that special warning note that could quell the most stubborn.

"Yes'm." He narrowed his gaze at Scarlett before she could comment, making her try to control the smile playing around the edge of her mouth.

She turned her attention to her brothers. "This has been a great visit. I love seeing you guys."

Jack peered at her out of half-open eyes as he wandered into the kitchen and bumped into the counter. "Aww.. love you too sis. Where's the coffee?" Seth got up to hand him a mug upside-down, and snickered when he almost tried to fill it that way. "I hate you.. I'd kick you, but I'm not awake yet."

"Love you too bro. Shana.. you'll be back for christmas right?" She hummed, momentarily distracted by the sausages. "Shana.. are you guys going to come to christmas?"

"Whu?" She looked up and then shrugged. "It'd be nice. Like always, I'll try to get back, but I'm not certain, the approved leaves weren't posted when we left." Looking over at the Ranger who was finally wiping his plate clean with the last bit of biscuit, she glanced at SnakeEyes who gave a tiny shake of his head. Ignoring that, she cleared her throat. "Beach.. if we can get leave off, you wanna come back?"

If she hadn't been watching him when she asked it, she would have missed the twitch that ran through him. Otherwise, he kept a casual nonchalance. "Naw.. I already told Flint I'd take the christmas shifts so he could take off. Nothin' against ya'll here.. if I was gonna go somewhere fer christmas, I'd wanna come here."

SnakeEyes signed without looking at him. *Covergirl is staying on base for christmas too.* Scarlett's eyes twinkled as BeachHead pretended to be surprised by that revelation.

"Really? Well, how 'bout that. Guess she'll just hafta put up with me fer the holiday too." There weren't many people at the table that were fooled, especially not the few that caught the slight smile that appeared before he ducked his head down and scooped up his dishes. "That was a great breakfast Aunt Beth.. you're the best."

"Thank you Wayne. I wish you'd reconsider and think about coming back for the Yule holiday." She sighed as he moved away.

"Can't.. done told Flint I'd cover him." Having put his dishes into the sink, he stood for a moment, trying to think of something else to do. His eyes met hers and he walked out before she could say anything else, heading into the living room rather than discuss it further.

SnakeEyes turned to Scarlett to sign at her with fast agitated signs. *Why won't you leave it? Don't make him miserable. Let him adjust before you try to push him further, he's just fine staying with Covergirl for the holiday.*

She hissed back at him. "I didn't know she was gonna be at the Pit for christmas! And I thought not letting him come back again would be more miserable than inviting him. Are you still jealous of the attention?"

He stiffened. *I don't want as much attention as I already get and you know that. He's barely adjusted to the idea that your family might like him but that's not enough, you want to push him to be a normal social person. You'll do nothing but make him feel like more of an outsider. Leave him alone.*

Aunt Beth spoke up quietly. "No one here wants Wayne to feel uncomfortable, but we would like to know he's not alone for the holiday too. It's only because we care."

Sean joined in reluctantly. "SnakeEyes is right, everyone needs to leave him be. BeachHead isn't a regular guy.. we've told him he can come back. Give him some time to adjust to that idea and maybe he'd ask about it on his own. I told you, he's no lost puppy. He's dysfunctional, not that I don't like him.. but he's not going to just suddenly turn into 'Johnny Boy come home again'."

Scarlett frowned at her brother. "Don't call Beach dysfunctional."

SnakeEyes tapped the table to draw attention. *He is dysfunctional compared to a regular civilian. Sean doesn't mean it in a mean way.*

Seth sighed heavily. "They're right Shana.. BeachHead is a good guy, don't get me wrong, but he has a lot of issues functioning outside of the military. Personally I like the guy. I hope he will come back sometime or other, but he isn't really comfortable thinking that any of us like him this much." He grinned at Aunt Beth suddenly with a conspiratorial manner. "I might have possibly implied that you might just want to send him packages... maybe."

She frowned at him. "You're very wicked Seth. I was planning on including him on the boxes I send Shana and SnakeEyes.. but to dangle the possibility is not exactly a kind thing for you to do."

Holding up his hands, he protested quietly. "Hey hey.. I was trying to make sure that he wouldn't go back out and split more wood this morning or do more work that he shouldn't. Just looking out for him.. besides, I know he's getting a box of cookies anyway from the bet he won."

Scarlett sighed heavily. "I just wanted to give him some family life. He's prickley and ornery.. but he's still one of my friends, and he's more loyal than a hound. He deserves some happiness."

SnakeEyes' arm slipped around her to pull her into an embrace. When he turned loose, he signed to her using gentle smooth movements. *Just because his life wouldn't make you happy doesn't mean that he's not happy. Offer.. don't manipulate. If he wants it, he'll come.*

There was a slight commotion from the front and they turned as they heard Dan and Kevin's voices. The kitchen door opened slowly and BeachHead poked his face in. "Ahh.. Dan just got here.. if'n ya'll are done discussing me and my life.. that is, I'd really like to get the rest of my firearms from the study." He gazed at them for another second or two before disappearing again.

Everyone exchanged sheepish looks. Dan came in, looking over his shoulder. "Okay.. no Kevin.. don't pester BeachHead.. okay but not too much! Sorry BeachHead!" He beamed happily at Sarah and bent to kiss her cheek fondly. "Hi babe.. Kevin is busy tugging on BeachHead and asking him fifty questions. Anything left from breakfast for us?"

She smiled and got up to get him a plate. "Pancakes might not be all that warm.. I can stick them into the oven if you like." He demurred and settled at the table to eat. "I'll go get Kevin so he can eat too.. and maybe poor BeachHead will get some peace and quiet."

Sallah was picking at her food looking rather morose. SnakeEyes clicked his tongue at her and signed when she looked up.

*Why so sad?*

She sighed and looked at the closed door. "I'm just gonna miss all of you guys."

*All of us? Or maybe just one of us more than the other two?* His movements were smooth and unhurried as if he was unconcerned. Even so, she blushed and he wagged a finger at her. *I think you should go talk to him.*

She protested. "No! There's nothing to talk about."

He paused and then signed. *You are right, there is Nothing.* The sign was repeated in an exaggerated fashion. *Nothing to talk about, but you've pursued him all week, so go tell him there's nothing to talk about.* When she started to protest, he pointed at the door firmly. *Go tell him goodbye too, we're leaving in only a few hours.*

She slumped and looked as if she would refuse and he tilted his head slightly. "Oh alright!!" Standing and starting out of the room, she was stopped by Aunt Beth pointing at her dishes. "Sorry." Once she put them into the sink, she went out to find the Ranger. Kevin and Sarah came through the door just behind her leaving.

"No Kevin... you don't 'have to' bother BeachHead constantly. Look.. I'll bet SnakeEyes will let you sit next to him for breakfast." The ninja patted the chair next to him and Kevin brightened and clambered up into the seat. "There, see?"

"I likes to sit next to SnakeEyes! He's cool!" Kevin began eating the hearty breakfast set in front of him while SnakeEyes polished his fingers on his chest in a preening gesture.

Sarah laughed at him. "Shana, how do you put up with him?"

"It's a great deal of work." She ignored the melodrama from the ninja as he mimed getting stabbed. "Oh stop it.. "

Seth shook his head, intoning solemnly. "And the Oscar for Best OverActing by a martial myth goes to.. SnakeEyes." Seth tossed a bit of bread at him when he pretended to bow from his seated position. "Who would believe a deadly ninja could also be a ham?"

Jack sighed heavily. "I gotta get packed up to head back to the school. Holidays never last long enough." Getting to his feet, he swatted at SnakeEyes head from behind, missing by a few inches when he ducked. "Damn. Do you have eyes in the back of your head? How do you always know?"

The commando just tilted his head at him and Jack groaned. "Yeah yeah.. " He fingerspelled as he spoke. "Ninja." He walked out to begin packing his bags up.

Scarlett propped her chin in her hand. "You sure do stymie all my brothers, lover-mine."

She could see the edges of the marred smile. *Ninja.* He reached to tousle Kevin's hair. *Don't eat too much.* Motioning at Scarlett. *I'm going to pack.*

She jumped to her feet. "No no.. I'll pack. You go peek in at Sallah and BeachHead. Just you know.. sneaky-peeky.."

He sighed heavily. *Ninja.. I think I'll manage.*

"Braggart."

*N.I.N.J.A.*

"Shut up."

* * * *

BeachHead walked off the porch and stared across the fields, resolutely ignoring the woodpile to the side. Privately he admitted that he'd miss the family.

"BeachHead?" The hesitant soft voice made him sigh heavily. He turned to see Sallah standing behind him a few feet away. "Hey.. so.. I guess you're leaving today?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Time to get back to life." He stood warily.

"Oh.. I guess you'll be happy to leave here then." She rubbed one of her arms slightly, looking away and then glancing up at him from under lowered lashes. He recognized the attempts at being coy and flirtatious. Despite his lack of experience himself, he could and did understand the patterns and behaviors. He had to nip potential romances in the bud with new recruits every time a new batch of possible greenshirts came in. He watched her turn slightly away. "I'll really miss you."

He looked at her calmly. "That's nice. I guess I had a fine time here. But I'm more than ready to get back to my life."

She heaved a dramatic sounding sigh and reached to pick at a dead vine twining around the porch railing. "I really wish you didn't have to go, we barely got a chance to get to know each other." Another glance up at him, checking to see if he was watching her or not.

He narrowed his eyes slightly. "Yeah.. about that.. you're a great kid, Sallah.. really... but.."

She interrupted him with some heat. "I'm NOT a 'kid'."

He took a breath, and then looked her in the eye. "Yes. You are. Yer half my age, underage, and waaay too young to be thinkin' about the stuff yer thinkin' of." She crossed her arms, looking like a stormcloud about to burst. "Listen.. I want to be friendly an' all. I do. But.. you jus' keep tryin' to make this into something that it won't ever be. Yer a great little gal. One day some young guy will get blindsided by how lucky he is to have you interested in him."

He watched her thinking about what he had said. He hoped he used enough of the sappy movie he'd been forced to watch while laid up in the infirmary. It had made sense at the time, although he'd spent more time complaining than watching. Lifeline was a big fan of family programming in the medical wards.

Even as he watched, he saw her calm herself. "You just don't understand.. sometimes age doesn't matter.. when you find the right guy.."

He suddenly advanced on her, striding up to within inches of her, backing her against the porch railing with sheer intimidation. Bracing one hand to one side, he waited deliberately for her to start to dodge the other direction before he slammed the other hand in her way. Hemmed in all the way around, she looked up at him and gulped as he leaned over her face.

"What's wrong? I thought this is what you wanted. What are ya tryin' to run off fer?" He suddenly stepped back. "See? You're not interested in me.. it's just a game you're playin'."

She crossed her arms. "I am not! Why can't you just admit you think I'm ugly!?"

He rolled his eyes. "Cause you're not ugly. BUT.. you ARE just a kid."

Her eyes suddenly brimmed with unshed tears which she brushed away. "Why can't I find a guy who likes me? Shana found SnakeEyes and then she brought you.. and you're a great guy."

He held out his hands and shrugged. "I can't answer that darlin'. I don't think I'd be a very good guy though. It takes a special person to stick it out in relationships with Army folks. You know.. the service comes first." Turning, he crossed his arms on the top of the railing. "You shouldn't be in such a rush to grow up, there's no rush to find a guy either. You got a long time to go in life. Don't run yourself outa ammo in the first ambush, ya know?"

She shook her head. "You're so weird." She sighed and moved to put her arms on the railing next to him. "I think I'd be miserable dating a guy who would rush off if he got orders from the Army. How do your girlfriends deal with it?"

He tipped his head over to smile at her. "Askin' the wrong feller. No girlfriends. I seen a buncha friends try to make it work, and a lotta them failed." His gaze went back to the grass and trees. "The military is a grand thing for those of us that serve it, but.. it isn't for everyone. I think if I did look for a girlfriend, it would be like your sister, someone else who serves in the military."

She smiled. "I hope she knows she's getting a cool guy." He looked away. "Oh ho ho.. there you go blushing again.. you really have a problem with compliments."

He stood up and scuffed a foot against the grass. "Naw.. well.. okay.. yeah. But only when I know it's not true.. I'm no catch for anyone. I'm jus' a beat-up Sergeant Major."

Scarlett's voice sounded amused. "Yeah.. and he's grumpy, and smells bad most of the time." Sallah turned around, gasping in surprise. "Hey little sister. Are you done chasing BeachHead? If you want, Snakes and I will just duct tape him to something sturdy until you get it all out of your system."

Sallah pretended to consider that while BeachHead looked properly horrified at his friend. "Scarlett! Jebus. Don't suggest things like that.. gawd have mercy, you'll kill me yet."

She gave him a thump in the arm. "Yeah well, you're such an easy target. I came to see if you were running for the car yet."

He snorted. "Naw.. besides, Aunt Beth would just come drag me out again."

She linked an arm through his and smiled. "Yes.. yes she would. Come on.. Sarah and Dan are about to leave, and Kevin wants to say goodbye to his favorite live Army man."

He sighed at her. "He ain't gonna cling to me and cry like June, is he?"

"Probably not."

"Good, 'cause that was embarrassin'."

She laughed and exchanged a look with Sallah. "Yes, well. We'll try to preserve some of your magnificent dignity."

"Liar. Ya'll been delightin' in putting me out of sorts this whole trip." He stepped inside the door and sighed as Kevin attached to his leg. "Hey Kevin.. "

"You're gonna go away!!" Kevin's near-wail made BeachHead hold up his hands at Scarlett.

"Sorry BeachHead. Kevin... everyone has to go home now. You're going to your home too." She bent to talk to him as he clung to the Ranger's leg. "BeachHead has to go back to his home too, just like SnakeEyes and I have to go back too."

Kevin nodded. "Uh-huh! I get to go back to MY room and all my toys and stuff."

BeachHead sighed heavily. "Yeah.. I miss my toys too." He tilted his head to grin at Kevin. "I bet I got cooler toys than you got." He bent to pull the boy loose and hefted him up in the air. "How about when you get home, you write SnakeEyes a letter? I bet he'd like that. But you gotta promise that you'll get your dad to send it for you."

Kevin nodded vigorously as he was set back on his feet. "Yeah! I promise!" He ran off yelling something indistinguishable.

Scarlett was looking at him strangely. "BeachHead.. where'd you come up with that idea?"

He smiled. "Old Beach ain't near as dumb as ya think he is." He sauntered off to find Sean to let him into the study. Once he retrieved his extra handguns, he tucked them into the duffel and removed both his bags to the vehicle, relocking it carefully. Once back inside, he was met in the living room by Paddy.

"Getting loaded up?" Paddy watched him stop and fidget. He wheeled his chair backwards and turned to lead into the living room. "Shana will have their things packed in no time at all. You'll all be on the road well before lunch."

"Yes sir, I expect so. It's been a good week here." He shifted uneasily. "Not that I'll be admittin' that overly much to no one, understand. I ain't all that happy about how they just forced me out." He flashed the old man a smile quickly. "Can't let 'em think they got one up on me. But it's been a good week overall."

Paddy nodded slowly. "That's what I wanted to hear. As long as you didn't have a miserable time. Whether you come back for another holiday or not, I hope you understand we'd like to see you again sometime." He looked carefully to be sure that no one else was within hearing. "If you end up shot in the kneecap or something and need to have time off for recovery, you could always come down here to spend some downtime. Understand?"

"Yes sir. I appreciate the offer. Hopefully I don't get shot in the kneecap.. because I think I might hafta blame you for it somehow now." Beach's eyes twinkled a bit as Paddy laughed softly. "I come out to Benning on the rare occasion and when I do, if I can, I'll give you a yell."

"I'd like that. I think Sarah is about to leave with Dan, you'd better go let them fuss over you some." Paddy shook his head at the Ranger's sigh. "It's not such a bad thing to have folks who will miss you."

"I know, I know. Just.. odd." BeachHead took himself out to the front porch and watched Dan chatting with the boys while Sarah hugged SnakeEyes and Scarlett. She trotted over to him and took his hand in both of hers.

Her hands squeezed his large hand firmly. "BeachHead.. it was good to meet you.. and I want you to take care of yourself. Keep a watch out over Shana for me too, okay?" Her voice had a very uncertain tone to it. "I know she goes into dangerous situations, no matter what she doesn't say.. and I'm glad to see there's someone like you to watch her back."

He nodded. "I do it. Ain't gotta ask that of me, she's my teammate."

Sarah nodded back at him somberly. "Take care of yourself too." She gave him a quick one-armed hug, turning him loose almost before he could twitch away. "Remember, you and Snakes might be tough bastards.. but you're not indestructible."

"Yes ma'am." He watched her trot back to the vehicle and waved as Dan gave him a genial hand up to bid farewell.

As they backed up and drove slowly down the driveway, Scarlett gave a final wave and came back up to the house, SnakeEyes resting one hand lightly on her waist. Beach stepped aside and let them go into the house, following after them. Sean and Scott helped SnakeEyes load up the bags while Seth and BeachHead got Jack loaded into his car.

Jack looked at his laden car and then grinned at BeachHead. "Good to meet you, keep an eye out for my sister, okay?" Clasping his hand for a moment, the Ranger assured him he would. Jack went to be embraced and fussed over by Aunt Beth.

Seth looked at him and sighed. "You're a weirdo.. but you're good people, no matter what you want people to think. Take care of yourself." He gave Beach a punch to his upper arm and walked off to be hugged by Scarlett.

Sean and Scott gave him friendly shoves, pushing him across the grass until he dug in his heels and stopped in his tracks. After a few seconds, they realized they weren't moving anymore and gave up gracefully. Sean pulled a piece of folded paper and handed it to the Ranger. "Recipe for the cinnamon bread for you. But you've got to try to make it yourself at least once before you give this to anyone else, understand? That's the deal."

Scott grinned hugely. "Just don't burn down the whole place trying."

"Yeah yeah... I'll give it a go." Beach carefully tucked the paper into one of his pockets. "Thanks for havin' me here. Was the best thanksgivin' I've had in forever."

Sean nodded. "You're welcome. Come back sometime. I'll get Scott here all trained up to beat you in push-ups."

BeachHead broke out in a grin. "Anytime. We'll bet baked good on it."

"You got it. Stay safe." The two boys left and went to mob at SnakeEyes and Scarlett some more.

BeachHead shook his head at their antics and turned around with a sigh to see Aunt Beth standing there. "Hey." Sallah peered out from the doorway and he leaned to look at her. "Hi Sallah. Come to say goodbye too? Are you gonna cling to my leg and cry too?"

She walked over hesitantly and he sighed at her sad eyes. Spreading his arms out he grimaced. "Oh go to town.." She hugged him tightly and then turned loose. "That's all? I 'bout expected I'd get molested a bit. I dunno, I might be disappointed now."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "If you want to be molested, I suggest you act like a bit more of a gentleman next time you visit. Or I'd suggest you actually talk to that girl you have in mind back at the base."

He blushed a little. "Ain't no girls.. not really."

She pointed a finger at him. "Yes there is.. I know there is. And you'd better get off your duff and put your big boy pants on, or she'll go find some other big smelly guy to hang out with." She smiled at him. "And I still say I could take you."

He shuddered. "Yeah, terrified.. really. Jus' make sure you give me fair warnin' before you go jumping on me to tackle me."

She nodded. "I'm not stupid.. I know it's because you have combat reflexes and you might hurt me not realizing who it was."

He gave her an evil grin. "Naw.. it's so I'll notice the bug attached to my pants leg. You're so tiny, I might just walk off without noticing you went and tackled me."

She threatened him with a tiny fist and he pretended to cower. "Be careful on the drive BeachHead." She went to throw herself on her sister and Beach turned back to the patient matron looking at him.

He twitsted his lips a few times. "Well.. here we is.. "

"Here we are." Her sad smile made him uncomfortable. "I'll send you a letter Wayne. And I want to hear from you on occasion.. even if you don't come back for christmas, there's plenty of other times you can visit. But.. you can call me or write me." She handed him a paper which he tucked away with the recipe. "That's my phone number and address. If you ever need anything.. if you feel the need to get away, you can show up on the doorstep, my door is always open for you." She stepped forward and embraced him slowly. He folded his arms around her soft frame and gave her a squeeze.

"Thanks.. for everything." He didn't add anything more and she tilted her head to peer at him. "What?"

She narrowed her eyes. "I want to hear you say you'll come back one day to visit."

"I can't do that.. I dunno what's gonna happen." He looked away and she pursed her lips.

"I'm not saying that you have to give me a date when you'll be back.. but I want to know you'll be back one day. Didn't you enjoy the visit?" Her distressed tone made him shift his weight from one foot to the other.

"It ain't that. Aunt Beth.. " He paused and looked at her, trying to think of some way to explain that wouldn't upset her. "Aunt Beth, I can't say that, because I dunno that I won't go get myself shot next week. I don't wanna lie to you, even by accident. If I can come back sometime.. I will. And I'll try to stay in touch, much as I can. Okay? That's all I can promise."

She shook a finger at him. "You've been shot before, and you'll suck it up Mr Ranger. You'll suck it up and use your teeth to hold the pen to write me and say 'Shot to hell, wish you were here, signed Wayne' on the back of a bloody postcard and send it to me. Do you understand me!?"

He nodded at her and abruptly stepped forward and hugged her tightly. "Yes ma'am. Will do." She held him for a long moment before he tugged himself free again. "Uhh.. I don't know.. I mean.. Seth.. he said.."

She interrupted. "Yes, I'll send you some baked goods on occasion.. if you stay in touch. I can't very well send SnakeEyes and Shana their boxes and not send you any, right?"

"Well.. wouldn't be any different than now.. I never get nothin' at mail call." He tucked his hands into his pockets. "It's be nice to hear my name called for a bit of mail from someone. Only time they call my name is to deliver a couple magazines I got on order."

Shaking her head, she gave him a light push. "I'll send you a letter, I promise."

He turned and saw Scarlett and SnakeEyes coming over. He got out of the way and let them have their farewell with Aunt Beth. Going to the SUV, he checked the bags and arranged a few things in the back seat to his liking. Pulling out the map, he peered at their route, figuring where they would pass close to and how far the distances were.

SnakeEyes gave him a poke and he climbed into the backseat, settling in and refolding the map up. *You ready?*

"Yeah. I'm a Ranger, I'm always ready.. I was born ready." His jocular tone didn't fool Scarlett although she was absorbed in waving goodbye one last time out the car window as they drove away.

She sniffed slightly. "Man.. I hate leaving. I really do." Turning, she looked at the map. "Were you looking at our route, Beach?"

He blinked a few times, staring blankly out the windows as they entered the highway. As they passed by the local playground he turned his face aside. "Yeah.. you think..." He paused and fingered the edges of the map. "You think we could maybe make a short stop... in alabama?"

Scarlett twisted to look at him for a moment, her eyes searching his. "Yeah.. we can stop wherever you like, Beach. Just tell us where."

"Okay.." He stared out the side again. "Okay then. 'Bout time I guess I made a visit."

* * * *

End Chapter:

Well, there went the farewells. Hope it didn't get too sappy. Next up, they have a drive.. with an unexpected stop.

Remember.. nearly done. I will stop the fic just after they arrive back at the Pit. Thank you for reading!


	27. Chapter 27: Sweet Home Alabama

Chap 27

I'm so glad it wasn't too sappy, I try to tread a fine line between too much heartfelt conversation and not enough to make it a solid story. This chapter will deal with his unexpected stop in Alabama.. what's there?

To answer a few questions, StormShadow only appeared for that brief bit, he'll be in a later story. Yes, I will most likely write a christmas story later but not at the O'Hara house. The next story will most likely NOT have BeachHead in it(I know astounding!) but I'll have another story with him and CoverGirl upcoming. It'll all depend on what gets written faster as to what gets posted first. Please feel free to PM me to suggest ideas, I never promise to write suggested stories! But you never know when you might spark a plot bunny. If you don't see something written that I've mentioned, or something hasn't been updated, again, please feel free to PM me to ask about it!

And on to the chapter! Please enjoy, and Thank You for reading!

* * * *

Scarlett looked at the map one last time and refolded it. "We can stay on 85 almost the whole way.. once we get to Auburn, you can tell us where to go BeachHead."

He grunted softly, looking out the windows from the back seat. "Yeah."

She looked at SnakeEyes who was driving again then back at him, twisting around in the seat. "You want to stop for lunch before or after?"

"Don't matter." His distant gaze never wavered, the brown eyes seeming darker than normal.

Resting her chin on the seat back, Scarlett watched him for a few minutes, waiting for him to respond to her stare. When he ignored it, she finally shifted around. "Soo.. where are we going?"

"Auburn." One slow blink, still staring blankly out at the passing landscape.

"I know that. But.. where in Auburn?" She watched him thinking it over.

Sucking at a tooth for a moment, he finally looked at her. "Ta visit my mama. Okay?" She blinked. "Can ya jus' leave me be fer a bit?"

She nodded. "Sure. Sorry Beach." Sitting up and watching the surrounding traffic, Scarlett finger-signed to SnakeEyes in her lap so Beach couldn't see. *BeachHead mother?* She saw the commando shrug in confusion. *Family?* She was given another shrug.

The voice from the backseat sounded a little peeved. "Stop talkin' 'bout me like that."

She twisted to look at him. "Sorry." She tried to just sit and make small talk about passing sites. BeachHead barely responded with more than grunts, while SnakeEyes rarely gave more than a nod or single hand sign.

Once they got into the city, BeachHead had them pull over. He climbed behind the wheel and drove them quietly through the city, picking his way through confusing streets and thick traffic. As they wound through the streets, he became even less responsive and the areas got poorer and more run-down.

Scarlett's eyes searched through the houses and boarded up businesses, watching the people walking alongside the streets. "Did you grow up near here?"

Shifting down another gear, he stopped at a stop sign and paused, looking along the possible roads for a minute before he continued. "Yeah.. nearby. Area looked about like this.." He quieted again.

Scarlett exchanged a look with the commando in the backseat. He held up a hand in a slight shrug. Even though she'd known the drill instructor had grown up poor, she hadn't ever tried to picture it in her head. Somehow it had been easier as a vague idea. Finally BeachHead pulled into a parking lot, it's surface cracked and weed-strewn. She peered around with curiosity and then hurried to get out when he did.

"Umm.. Beach? Do you want us to stay with the car?" Curious though she was.. she didn't want to impose on him.

He glanced at her and shook his head. "Naw.. ya'll might as well come along." He strode off down the road and she beckoned to the masked ninja to get out. They walked behind him as he moved confidently through a couple of empty lots, cutting through the back lot of another boarded up store. Scarlett's hands itched for a weapon, the area reminded her of their urban combat training course which had been held in a similar looking environment. Overgrown brush and junk made it a tangle to walk through.

BeachHead finally came out beside a whitewashed building and walked around the end. They followed warily and nearly ran into his back as he stopped.

"Dang.. new fence.." He turned and went around it, trotting down a set of steps and coming up on a beat up wall made from the ornamental concrete blocks. Without pausing, he jumped up to heave himself over the top, waiting for them to follow.

Checking the surroundings carefully, Scarlett took a breath. "Beach.. we're not going to get arrested out here, are we?"

His deep chuckle didn't reassure her much and he turned and continued on. Only a minute or two later, he turned into a gate and stopped, looking over the neglected cemetery.

SnakeEyes motioned at him. *We should not cut through a cemetery. It's wrong.*

Beach's deep amber eyes glinted in the mild light casting through the cloudy sky. "We ain't cuttin' through. We're here." He turned his face away.. looking over the scattered headstones. When he set out, picking his way carefully through the graves, SnakeEyes paused before he followed.

Scarlett reached to take his hand, giving it a squeeze. "Hey.. you okay?" He nodded but squeezed her hand back. He didn't care for being in cemeteries. They never held a good memory. They stopped short, watching where BeachHead had halted finally.

He crouched down slowly, reaching to brush a few dried leaves off the top of the headstone. The simple marker was weathered and he took a moment to wipe some dust from the facing. Then he simply looked at it.

"Hi Mama. I guess I'm back." He glanced over at his two companions. "This is my mama's grave. She's 'bout all I got left." Looking back down at it, he stood up and sighed. "These're mah friends Mama. Sorry Ah ain't been 'round." He swallowed a few times and cleared his throat. "I don't guess ya care much, but I'm doin' fine. Jus' thought maybe it was time I came to visit." He tucked his hands into his pockets.

SnakeEyes signed hesitantly. *Sister?*

BeachHead looked uncomfortable. "She died.. you know.. back a ways." When the ninja motioned around in a query, he shook his head. "Naw.. she ain't here." He looked away and Scarlett saw his eyes narrow. "Her no-account husband had her cremated so he could scatter her ashes. His last dig at me.. on accounta I told her she should kick 'im to the curb 'cause he used to beat on her. All I got is Mama's grave. Ain't been back here since a couple months after she passed on."

Scarlett stepped forward to put a hand onto his shoulder gently. "I'm really sorry Beach.. honest."

His mouth quirked upwards just slightly. "Ain't no nevermind. You gotta nice family."

"Yeah.. but I didn't mean to make you feel like.. like you didn't have anyone. I just wanted to give you time around some family, you know.. I wanted to share the holiday with you."

He reached up to pat her hand warmly. "It's alright. It's jus' that it ain't my family. But mine's all gone now. So if it's okay.. I don't mind kinda borrowin' yours a little. It kinda makes me remember what it was like.. havin' family. Sis used to keep in touch and sent me letters and all but Mama never did like that I went into the Army though." Suddenly he looked over at SnakeEyes. "Sorry.. I know you hate cemeteries."

The ninja straightened up suddenly, shaking his head. *I'm fine.. doesn't bother me.*

Beach exchanged a look with Scarlett and rolled his eyes. "Yeah right. Big bad spooky ninja and yer as jumpy as toadfrog on hot pavement 'cause it's a graveyard."

*Shut up. There's dead people here.* SnakeEyes crossed his arms defiantly.

The Ranger shook his head. "Anyway.. I jus' wanted to visit." He gazed at the headstone again and reached to swipe over the top with a gentle hand. "Bye Mama." He seemed about to say more, but then shook his head slightly and turned away. "We can go."

SnakeEyes stood for a second. *Are you sure? We can stay as long as you need.*

"No reason to stay. Ain't nothin' else here fer me."

He gave a small smile as Scarlett put her arm up around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze. "Hey Beach.. you know you got some friends, right?"

His smile widened slightly. "Yeah, well.. some of them try to drive me batty. But I'd like to point out to our ninja-y friend.. yer all over me here.. "

She sighed at him. "It's called a 'hug' BeachHead.. it doesn't hurt, I promise." Giving him a friendly push towards the entrance, she followed after him. "And no SnakeEyes, you may not kick his butt for me hugging him." At the spread hands query she got in return, she shook a finger at him. "I'm allowed to paw him, he's not allowed to paw me.. that's how it works, remember?"

BeachHead sighed and turned his head to comment. "Yeah, I still say it's unfair. I mess with ya, I get kicked in the head. You mess with me, I get kicked in the head. At the rate my luck is goin', you'll mess with Snakes, and I'll get kicked in the head."

"Stop whining." Scarlett opened her mouth to comment further and suddenly stopped, stepped sideways and went on alert as another person stepped into view at the entrance abruptly. She relaxed when she saw it was a old woman with a bundle of flowers. BeachHead whirled as he saw her alert, jumping backwards.

He stopped in his tracks, staring at her with a frown. She had frozen at the unexpected sight of the group, especially the masked SnakeEyes. His eyes seemed to darken as recognition dawned. "Ms Hayworth?"

She blinked up at him, weak eyes peering out from the wrinkled folds of skin. "Do I know you?"

He opened his mouth then shut it suddenly. "Naw.. I'm no one.. " He walked backwards around her, still staring and wishing he'd put his mask on already. His two companions moved past him, and he was only steps away from the fence when she turned back to stare at him.

Her voice quavered slightly. "Wayne??" When he twisted to look at her, she spoke louder. "Wayne Sneeden! That is you! I knew it.. I remember you. My gawd boy.. how long has it been?"

Looking as if he'd been snared, BeachHead stood still while she came up to him, reaching out to pat his arm. "A long time, ma'am."

"A long time indeed.. where have you been?" She took in his fatigue pants and Army teeshirt. "You're still in the military?"

"Yes ma'am." Seeming resigned to it now, he stopped trying to edge away. "How've you been?" Scarlett peered around him, while SnakeEyes melted into the shadows of the fenceline and disappeared in his particularly eerie way.

"I've been as I've always been. Church and volunteering with the children at the school. But what are you doin' back here, Wayne? And who is your very pretty friend?"

Beach turned to regard the redhead with a sigh. "This is my friend.. Shana. Shana, this is Ms Hayworth.. she was my neighbor.. growin' up here."

Turning on her natural charm, Scarlett took her frail hand in both of hers and smiled prettily. "So nice to meet you.. it's good to meet someone from Wayne's past." She leaned in and lowered her voice slightly. "You know, he's so close-mouthed about his life as a boy, soooo serious!" Her light easy laugh brought a matching smile from the old lady.

"Oh he was a energetic boy, wasn't he though!" She reached to pat him again. "Always coming over to listen to the radio with us, or beg for war stories from my Bert." She patted his cheek fondly, though she needed to stretch her hand up to reach. "I remember when you were no taller than my hip. Such a good boy! I'm so proud that you're doing so well. Look at you! All grown up and in the Army. Bert would say he was a good influence on you."

"Yes ma'am... we were just leavin'.." His escape attempt was completely bollixed when Scarlett hooked her arm through his elbow and stopped him.

"Oh Wayne.. I'm sure we have a minute for you to catch up with Ms Hayworth." His warning glare almost made her flinch. "I mean.. it's been so long.. and she practically raised you..."

"Oh, little Wayne was over a lot, but he was a home-boy. Always home doing his chores or trying to coax the garden to grow. I always knew you would do well in life." She turned to the lovely younger woman. "Do you know, he would always carry the books for me when I came to school to read to the children? Such a polite little lad, you were Wayne! I'm so glad to have run into you! Will you be in town long?"

He stepped backwards a little bit. "No ma'am.. just leavin' now. I gotta get back to base."

She seemed disappointed but nodded. "Can't have you goin' and gettin' in trouble about being gone when you shouldn't be. You got into enough trouble when you were a boy." She beamed happily at him suddenly. "I hope you know how proud we all were of you. And now look at you! Your mama would be so proud."

His mouth twitched slightly. "Yeah well.. she never liked me goin' off to the Army."

She shook her head. "She was proud.. she just missed you. You were her baby, so even though she knew it was the best thing, she missed having you nearby. Don't you doubt that she loved you and didn't she just go on and on about how well you were doing!"

Scarlett wasn't certain she'd ever seen BeachHead look more uncomfortable. "It was nice to meet you."

"Oh it was just wonderful to meet you too darling.. and Wayne.. you take care."

"Yes'm."

A quick clasp on her hands from both of them and BeachHead retreated with an air of relief. Once out of the cemetery, he glanced around quickly. "Where's Snakes?"

Scarlett didn't bother to even look around. "He'll either be along or is already at the vehicle." She nudged him with an elbow. "Sooo.. "

He interrupted her. "Don't. Just... don't." His absolutely flat tone made her decide to back off.

"Alright. So do you want to go eat around here? Back on the highway? It's definitely lunchtime." They reached the ornamental wall again, and she looked up at it and sighed.

He held out a hand. "I'll give ya a knee-up.. " She smiled and put a leg into his hand for the boost over the wall. He hopped up and swung over it himself. "Jus' so ya know I ain't gonna be givin' ya any leeway once we're back on the PT courses."

Waiting until he landed and stood back up, she smacked him in the side of the head, getting a vaguely annoyed look in return for it. "Yeah.. like I'd ever think you'd let up on anyone in PT. You won't even let CoverGirl slide.."

"Why the hell would I let the Barbiedoll slide? She ain't got enough meat on her bones to start with." He grumbled softly under his breath too low for Scarlett to hear. "You sure Snakes ain't gonna go get lost out here?"

Smiling, the redhead shook her hair out. "Really?"

"Yeah yeah.. I know.. 'ninja'. Better have his sneaky butt back in the car.. I'm ready to get outa this place." He puffed out a breath. "I think I'm all vacationed out now."

"I think you look pretty tired out Beach. You've had a hard week." She still seemed pleased with it though and he tried glaring. "What? Am I wrong? Was it an easy week and you feel all rested and perky?"

Taking her arm and tugging, Beach steered her around a corner. "Yer kiddin' right? I feel like I got run over by a danged truck."

She grinned up at him making him roll his eyes before she even spoke. "Well, you SHOULD know what that feels like.."

"Oh shut it. Danged smartass women.. ya'll gonna end up killin' me one day, then ya'll all will feel bad about it." His stride lengthened slightly as they came to a open lot. "I swear it's gonna take me a week jus' to recover from this trip."

"That's how you know it's been a great vacation! If you need a vacation to recover from the vacation, it was a successful trip." Her grin stayed in place as he glowered at her.

"Well that don't make a lick a sense, now does it? Ridiculous." They reached the SUV and saw the masked commando seated in the back reading a book. "At least we ain't gotta go lookin' ta pry him outa a culvert or nothin'."

They settled into the vehicle and BeachHead began to carefully retrace his route back out to find the interstate. Scarlett poked at their map a little and then looked at him. "Beach... you never did say.."

He burst out in exasperation. "What? I told ya to just leave it. I don't wanna talk about it. I didn't wanna run into that woman.. didn't wanna have ya prying into my life, so just LEAVE IT. Okay? That okay with ya?"

Silence settled in for a moment. Then Scarlett spoke up quietly. "I was gonna ask if you wanted lunch in town or back out on the interstate, actually. Sorry."

This time she distinctly saw his eye twitch as the back of his neck got red. "Crap. Sorry. I'm just on edge.. didn't expect to run into no one what knew me."

"It's okay. I know I pry into your life and bug you a lot." She waited for a minute then spoke up in a put-on accent. "Naw Scarlett, I know it's jus' cause ya like me and care about me as a friend.. it's alright."

He coughed trying to cover a chuckle at her imitation. "I don't sound like that." She raised an eyebrow. "Ah don't!" There was coughing laughter from the back seat and he glared up into the rear view mirror. "Shut it back there! Hey.. where do ya wanna eat, Snakes? You ain't chose where to stop yet.. might as well let you pick."

Scarlett twisted to watch his signs. "He says he's just as happy to stop somewhere off the interstate... " She suddenly laughed. "No.. I'm pretty sure we won't stop at Hooters." Nodding, she turned to BeachHead. "He said he wants a Checkers burger. I think he's addicted to those burgers." There was a soft tongue click and she turned to look. "Yes.. and fries. God forbid we forget the fries.. that's the best part."

Beach tilted his head up to peer in the mirror at him again. "Checkers? Seriously? I say ya get to pick.. and ya go and pick a fast food place?" He saw the nod. "Alright.. ya want a Checkers.. ya get a Checkers."

* * * *

Sitting in line at the first Checkers fast food restaurant they had spotted, Scarlett and SnakeEyes were discussing what they wanted while BeachHead listened to the one sided conversation. Finally he pulled up to the speaker.

"Alright.. what are we gettin'?" He listened for a few seconds and then leaned out to talk. "Gimme two bacon Champ burgers.. one double Champ burger.. three large fries.. two cokes and one sweet tea..." He turned his head as Scarlett fussed. "Sorry.. put extra cheese on one of them bacon Champs, and extra ketchup on it too." Twisting around to look at SnakeEyes in the back seat he raised an eyebrow. "Anything else?"

Scarlett leaned over his lap to speak out the window loudly. "Extra extra cheese on that bacon Champ!" He poked her, leaning back to try to keep his face out of her hair. "Like TWO pieces of cheese!"

"Alright already! They'll put extra cheese on it!"

Parked in the corner of the lot, all three were munching on huge sloppy cheeseburgers. Scarlett eyed BeachHead's fries after she ran out. The sideways glare she got when he noticed made her twist around to steal some of SnakeEyes' fries instead.

Licking her fingers well, she sighed. "I wish they had cheesy fries. Bad enough that they always argue when I ask for extra cheese on a burger."

BeachHead swallowed and nodded at the drive-thru building. "They got loaded fries, has hot cheese sauce and bacon bits and stuff. If ya hadda said so.. hey! Where are ya goin??" He turned to look as SnakeEyes signed at him while coughing softly.

*You said cheese.*

Sighing, the Ranger watched her trot over to the walk-up window. "But she already ate a whole order a fries.." Shaking his head, he went back to his burger. "Dunno how ya deal with her."

SnakeEyes snorted at him. *Wait.. you'll see what it's like with CoverGirl, soon enough.*

"Not likely. Ain't gonna be none a that bullying sort of stuff." He peered over the seat. "Even if.. and I'm sayin' 'if'... even if CoverGirl is interested.. ain't gonna be none of that pushy stuff like you put up with." He nodded to himself.

Another snort and he turned to watch the quick amused signing. *Who stole your meatloaf off your tray in the messhall two weeks ago when you got the last piece?*

Frowning, Beach twisted a bit to scrunch himself into a better position to watch the ninja signing at him. "I'm sure I don't recall anything like that happenin' at all."

*No? Who showed up to run PT in pink fatigues when you said everyone had to wear uniforms for the run?*

There was a slight snuffling noise that might have been mistaken for a suppressed laugh. "No idea. I don't remember that."

*Who handed you a sugar container full of salt for you to use on your iced tea in the messhall.. not once.. but four times to date?*

"That wasn't even funny. Shut up." Beach sighed as Scarlett climbed back into the front seat, grinning widely as she held up the tray of fries smothered in cheese sauce, ranch dressing and bacon pieces. "Yer gonna make yerself sick eating that."

"It's great! When did they start offering loaded fries?? Oh god this is great!" She stuffed a few into her mouth and then offered it over the seat to SnakeEyes who dutifully took one.

*Very good.*

"Very good my butt! These are GREAT!" She let BeachHead have a couple before she swatted at his hand. "Hey mine! You wouldn't share your fries with me!"

"Yeah.. but that's yer second helping. Seconds are subject to sharing with everyone. That's the rules.. check the book." He snagged another one before she pulled it over next to the door out of his reach. "Brat." He twisted himself back into place and glanced over his shoulder as SnakeEyes tugged his mask back into place. "Everyone ready to go?"

*Me drive?*

"Naw.. I'm good fer a while." The commando flopped over in the back seat and got comfortable. "Well.. he'll be asleep in two minutes flat."

Scarlett sucked at her fingers again, slurping the last bits of cheese sauce off the cardboard tray. "Mmm.. that's okay Beach. I'll be awake to keep you company."

"You could go to sleep too.. then I'd have some peace and quiet. Gawd knows I ain't had that since we left the Pit." He ignored the punch to his arm. "Finally be able to deal with properly respectful people, 'stead of pushy redheads who don't never listen." The second punch made him wince slightly.

"Your hand-to-hand eval is coming up again soon.. you really want to keep needling me?" Scarlett checked the cardboard tray one last time before stuffing it into the garbage bag.

Beach sighed. "Well.. you ain't the evaluation instructor.. Snakes is. But no.. not if yer gonna be mean about it. 'Sides.. ain't ya beat up on me enough this past week?"

"Never. I could beat you with a stick for a month every day.. that might have made up for all the PT evilness you've put me through. I'll remind you about the mudpit you put at the end of the rope climb.. just because you KNOW I always jump off the last five feet." She watched the slow grin form at the memory of the huge splat she'd made. It was one of the few times he'd managed to get the nimble martial arts expert drenched in mud over her head. "You're such a bastard sometimes. Do you really sit around thinking up ways to make us all miserable?"

"Yep." He waited for her to snort. "I don't jus' want to make ya'll miserable.. ya jus' gotta be prepared to operate in any conditions.. even if it's in mud up to yer eyebrows."

"Well.. why aren't you ever in the mudpit up to YOUR eyebrows?" She shifted lower in her seat, propping her shoulder on the door to get comfortable.

"I am. But the difference is.. I like bein' in mud up to my eyebrows.. don't bother me none. Heck.. you see what I look like when I'm draggin' back in from a mission somewhere dirty and wet and nasty. Don't bother me none." He sighed lightly as he became hemmed in with traffic. Slowing down, he dropped back until he could merge into the fast lane to pass the tangle of slower drivers.

Scarlett's snort sounded sleepy. "Yeah.. you drip all down the hallways going to report. I'd think you'd clean up before you go to deliver your debriefing reports at least."

"Yeah.. you'd think that. That's why YER debriefing reports take two hours to get done with. If ya reek of rotten vegetation and soured pond water, ain't no one gonna take their time takin' yer report from ya. Duke or Hawk or Flint.. ain't none of them keep me longer than absolutely necessary when I'm that filthy." He grinned at her astonished look. "What? I ain't stupid, Scarlett."

"Well no. I just didn't realize exactly how devious you really are under that small-town hick exterior you cultivate so well. Do you do that deliberately?"

"Naw.. jus' evolved into it I guess. I'm tellin' ya Scarlett.. this accent I got, it makes folks think I'm stupid. I been told before that if I ever wanted ta advance in the ranks, I better go to a speech therapist to get rid a it. Told 'em that I didn't care 'bout advancin' if'n it was based on how I talked rather than how I worked." His relaxed voice made Scarlett's eyes feel heavy. "But then.. I ain't never gonna make no officer. You.. you'll probably make it up the ranks.. and when ya do, don't be steppin' on my head too hard." He glanced over and saw her eyes drift shut. "Annnd... there ya go to sleep too."

He took a slow deep breath and looked around at the traffic. Not too heavy, not light.. it looked like a long boring few hours ahead. Hopefully uneventful too. He could do with a few hours of quiet driving.

* * * *

"We should just drive straight through.. we got three danged drivers in the car." BeachHead was trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice.

Scarlett was behind the wheel and shook her head. "There's no reason we can't stop for the night." They'd been arguing for the past half hour.

"If we stop fer the night, we'll have to get up at the crack a dawn anyway.. and get back really late. If we drive through, just break fer food.. we'll make it back before mid-day and have plenty a time to get settled in durin' the day." It was a sound reasonable idea to BeachHead and he had no idea why Scarlett was resisting.

SnakeEyes snapped fingers. *I vote drive through.*

Scarlett gave him a scowl. "I'd really rather have ONE more night to sleep in! You know Beach is gonna relish kicking us out of bed extra early for at least a week to make up for being on vacation."

The Ranger tried to look innocent as he smiled. "Would I do that?" She tilted her head down to give him a look. "Okay.. but I was thinkin' two weeks.. and that ain't gonna change no matter when we get back. Besides.. it's two against one.. so we drive through."

SnakeEyes clicked for attention again. *I would rather get back to base earlier to be able to rest before going out again.*

Scarlett sighed at him, her shoulders slumping just a bit as she gave in. "I know.. Hawk probably already has a mission lined up, waiting for you to get back. Beach and I will take the last legs, so you can just sleep. Just in case you're sent out as soon as you set foot on base."

The Ranger turned to look at his friend. "Heck.. I'll take yer shifts. Won't be that hard and yer right, Hawk'll likely have some mission fer ya as soon as we get back."

SnakeEyes shrugged and stretched out on the backseat. *Thanks. I'm happy to rest up.*

"Yeah.. rest yer sneaky self up. We got the driving. We'll wake ya up when we stop fer dinner." Beach settled down in the passenger seat, propping himself into place. "Scarlett.. wake me up when yer tired of drivin'."

Her lip twisted in a amused sneer. "Will you take my head off when I shake you awake?"

"Will ya shut yer yap so I can go to sleep and find out later?"

"Nice Beach.. real nice."

"Never said I was nice.. so shut it, I'll take twice the drivin' but I wanna get some rest so I don't drive us into the ditch later on." The grumpy tone made Scarlett smile wider.

"Okay.. just so you won't drive us into the ditch." Scarlett quieted and let the two soldiers sleep while she drove through the sparse traffic, headed for the Pit and home.

* * * *

End Chapter

Ahh... one more chapter to go.. the end is nigh. Have you enjoyed? Was it the visit you expected?


	28. Chapter 28: Final Chapter!

Chap 28

It's been a long time coming but this is the last official chapter to this story! This is the longest story I've posted to date!

I'm glad the scene at the cemetery went over so well. I'd been planning that since around chapter 8 I think. I can't find any canon mention of BeachHead having any living family in my rather extensive collection of GI Joe. I have his 'backstory' all set, where I filled in what wasn't ever mentioned. And yes.. Checkers does offer those loaded fries, yes.. they are indeed that good, and yes.. there actually IS a Checkers at that area of Alabama! Fun stuff huh?

So, here's the last chapter.. they finally arrive back 'home' at the Pit. As always, thank you for reading, and thank you especially for the reviews that inspire me!

* * * *

BeachHead blinked at the road.. despite it being full daylight out, midday in fact.. he widened his eyes again. Scarlett snored softly in the passenger seat, while SnakeEyes was sleeping quietly in the backseat. Twenty-five hours of driving and they were nearly home. They'd stopped for meals and quick breaks at rest stops or gas stations.

At one rest stop, he'd changed into full fatigues and sweater with his combat boots. Other than leaving off the mask, he was back into his regular clothing now. Scarlett had been a little put-out when he'd emerged from the men's room of the rest stop fastening his light kevlar vest. If he was about to arrive on base, he wanted to be back in his normal gear. Instead of being less comfortable in the light body armor, he felt more relaxed in the familiar clothing.

Sniffing hard, he shifted himself more upright in the seat, stretching his back out again. After so long sitting in the vehicle, his back was sore. Scarlett managed to lean her seat back enough to lie on her side to doze. He was too big to do that. Muscle was good, but Scarlett was much more limber. SnakeEyes could turn himself into a small ball that couldn't possibly contain a full grown man... and sleep that way.

"Mutant cat ninjas.." He took a long deep breath in and twisted again, unkinking his back. He was finally turning off the interstate and beginning the approach towards the base's outer perimeters.

Scarlett yawned widely. "Whuu lalot?" BeachHead just peered at her with a confused expression. "Sorry. We getting near?"

"Yeah.. twenty minutes.." He felt himself begin to sag and straightened up again with an effort.

Glancing at her watch, Scarlett cursed loudly. "Beach.. you idiot. You should have woken me up. You've been driving way too long."

His gaze narrowed. "Don't call me stupid. Some gratitude I get fer lettin' ya have extra rest."

She watched his eyes begin to glaze over. "BeachHead.. pull over."

"Ah'm fine.."

"Pull over now."

"It's twenty minutes.."

"NOW!"

With that, he grumbled but found a spot to pull over. "Be fine.. stoppin' when we're on top a the danged base.." He shut off the SUV and opened the driver's door. Scarlett had already gotten out and come around the vehicle. When he stepped out, his leg wobbled and he stumbled. "Dang it!"

"Beach see? You alright?" She caught his arm to prevent him from falling into the road.

He shrugged her hand off of him and grumbled his way around the car.. passing by the passenger door then turning around and coming back to it to open it. Settling into the passenger seat, he twisted to check on the sleeping ninja to find him sitting up and wiping his face before replacing the mask again. "Awake?"

There was a thumb's up from SnakeEyes. Twisting himself back forward, BeachHead yawned. Propping himself up against the door he promptly fell asleep. Scarlett shook her head.

"You guys.. I swear. Fall asleep in two seconds flat." She drove them carefully through the roads and eventually came to the main gate. Rolling the window down, she presented her ID to the greenshirt on duty. "Sergeant Scarlett, Sergeant SnakeEyes and Sergeant major BeachHead reporting in."

The bored expression suddenly switched to alarmed and he straightened his shirt and tipped his helmet slightly further back at a better angle. Scarlett grinned at him.

"It's okay... he's asleep." She watched the sigh of relief.

"Yes Sergeant." The young man handed her ID back and glanced across at the sleeping Ranger. "He's been gone a week..."

She nodded. "Vacation. Don't worry, he'll be back in your face fresh and perky tomorrow morning, in case you missed him."

"No Sergeant, it was fine without.." The amused tone suddenly vanished as BeachHead let out a loud snort in his sleep. "..but we're happy he's back of course! Always want Sergeant major here to keep us in line, Sergeant!" He straightened himself up and gave a wave to signal the gate to be opened.

Scarlett let out a soft laugh. "Dang Beach.. terrifying greenshirts in your sleep now? I think that's overboard."

A soft mumble came from the passenger seat. SnakeEyes leaned up over the seat and signed at her. *And people think I'm scary.*

"Oh Snakes.. you're scary too." Her teasing tone made him give her the finger. "Jerk. Think Clutch will be happy I brought the SUV back without trashing it? I think this is the first time I've returned a civilian vehicle without at least a new bullethole or missing fender."

*Very happy.* SnakeEyes began chuffing in laughter and pointed at the motorpool. *Looks like an anxious parent.* She peered through the windshield to see Clutch standing out in front of the entrance, his hands on his hips looking impatient.

She pulled in and revved the engine a few times at him for the sheer pleasure of watching him frown. Clutch reached to snatch open the passenger door and promptly went down as BeachHead fell out on top of him.

"DANG IT!" Scarlett tried to smother her laughter as she got out and went around to the back to open it up. SnakeEyes took a moment to watch the Ranger get untangled from Clutch and get to his feet, griping the entire time.

"What are ya doin' yankin' the dang door open! Not like ya couldn't see me leanin' up against it! Dang stupid mech-head."

Clutch got up slower, brushing himself off and finding his cap to put back on. "Well, you shouldn't have been laying on the door then!"

BeachHead frowned, his normal scowl deepening even worse as he glared. "Ya, it's mah fault I was sleepin' and ya yanked the danged door open. You licked the lint trap as a kid, didn't ya?" He snatched his duffel out and tossed his smaller bag over his shoulder. Watching Scarlett pulling her bags out, he shifted his bags and held out a hand. "You want I should help ya with some of that?"

She smiled and handed him two bags. Waiting for her to indicate which ones SnakeEyes would carry, he followed after her to the lift. Down the corridors, Scarlett was greeted by nearly everyone they passed, well wishes and smiles abounding as the well-liked redhead smiled and bantered back at them. SnakeEyes was given casual greetings and his apprentices appeared nearly instantly to take the bags from him and Scarlett. SnakeEyes stopped to take the bags from BeachHead, thanking him.

"No problem. Hey.. " The Ranger stared at the floor for a second before he looked up at the masked face. "Thanks fer sharin' yer vacation with me. I appreciate it." He hefted up his duffel while thinking. "I know that ya might not have wanted to share the time.. but I'm glad ya did. Soo.. thanks."

The ninja shifted one of the bags to his other hand and reached to clasp Beach's outstretched palm. *Glad you came.*

Ducking his head, Beach gave a little nod and twisted on his heel to stalk off in the opposite direction to his own quarters. Using his security card to open the door, he blinked at the dim lighting. Keeping his voice quiet, he spoke to the upper bunk. "Hey.. you there?"

Lowlight's covers moved around a bit. "Yeah."

"Alright.. be out in a minute." BeachHead pulled several items out to put onto his bunk, and grabbed up a change of clothing. "I'm out again." There was a soft grunt as his answer and he went back out hauling the less full duffel with him to the laundry to dump it for the crew. "Hey.. at least there's no rancid mud this time."

There was cautious laughter as the laundry crew agreed and he was off again, leaving his bundle of clean clothing at the showers for later on.

Settling into his normal long strides, he made his way down to Hawk's office, rapping his knuckles on the open door.

"Sir?" Seeing the general seated behind his desk, BeachHead stepped in and snapped to attention smartly. "Sergeant major BeachHead reporting for duty, Sir!"

Hawk looked at him for a second. "At ease. Welcome back to the Pit." He checked the clock on the way. "If I don't miss my guess you have gotten back after ever so slightly more than one week, thus fulfilling your orders admirably."

"Yes sir. One week and six hours, Sir." Beach settled into the relaxed stance with hands clasped loosely behind him.

Hawk's sigh sounded slightly disappointed. "Well.. you did go on leave. Did you relax?"

A hint of a smile played at the edges of Beach's mouth. "Relaxing was achieved, Sir."

"I suppose you want to go back to work now?" The general smiled at Beach's evident good humor. "Would you prefer some more time off? I'm sure I can find someone else to send you off on a trip with..."

"No sir.. I'd like to get back to work... please." He gazed steadily at his superior. "The trip went well, no incidents, injuries, or issues."

"So it wasn't so bad after all?" Hawk's pleased expression made BeachHead twitch just the tiniest amount.

"It was horrible, Sir. I truly believe I could have had less stress if you'd dropped me into a full-on battle with Cobra... unarmed... and naked."

Putting a hand over his eyes, Hawk sighed theatrically. "I really did not need the visuals.. thank you BeachHead. It can't have been as bad as all that. How was the food?"

"Best dinner I've ever eaten in my entire life. Scarlett's aunt makes pie I'd gnaw through plywood to get to." He tilted his head thinking about it a second. "Strike that.. I'd gnaw through concrete fer that pie." He thought another few seconds. "Civies are crazy though. Dunno how they deal with life with it all chaotic that way. Didja know.. not one a 'em got outa bed a'fore eight? And none of them did a lick of PT, not even a mornin' run!" He shook his head. "All that havin' ta think of what to wear.. what to eat.. what they're gonna do each day.. ain't no wonder they're so crazy. I felt a little sorry fer 'em."

Hawk gave him a look that was almost pitying. "Beach.. you make a good soldier. Don't ever doubt it."

Drawing himself upright even more, Beach seemed almost affronted. "A'course I wouldn't doubt that, Sir. That's kinda a strange thing fer ya to say." After a second he seemed to remember something. "Oh.. I got engaged ta Scarlett's cousin."

Almost ready to dismiss his trooper, Hawk nearly swallowed his tongue. "You WHAT?!?"

Beach snorted at him. "Don't worry, she's only five years old. Little bitty thing but tough as nails."

Staring at him trying to decide if he was making a joke or not, Hawk finally narrowed his eyes. "When's the wedding and should I bring a formal shotgun or is a sidearm good enough?"

"Oh.. we're pretty sure she'll change her mind a'fore she's legal. At least.. I hope she's gonna change her mind.. I got no intention of marrying a child bride." Beach thought it over. "She sure is a tough little bean, though."

"Anything else you should tell me?" Hawk's wary look went unnoticed as the Ranger carefully thought it over.

"Ahhh... hmmm." After a second, Beach shook his head. "Nothin' else comes ta mind, right off."

"Well.. that's good. You go back to your normal work schedule tomorrow morning." Hawk turned as there was a tap on his door. "Psyche-Out.. come on in. Our prodigal sergeant major has returned."

The psychologist smiled in a especially smug fashion as he stepped in and looked at BeachHead. "Ahh.. I'd heard. You do look a bit more relaxed and rested, so I shall assume that your leave went well and did what it was supposed to do. De-stressing is an important thing to achieve on a regular basis, BeachHead. I'm glad we were able to help set you straight about your health and your stress load. Sooo.. " He crossed his arms. "What did you learn from this trip?"

BeachHead hummed softly while looking at the taller man. "Well.. I learned a lotta stuff. I learned that civies are all nuts.. that bread has to get puffy twice a'fore ya can bake it.. that a forty pound kid thinks really heavy thoughts and chokes you way worse than a ninety pound field pack on a run... polo shirts show off yer pipes really well.. SnakeEyes is a killer football player.. never get engaged to a five-year-old cause they're too determined to win against... Scarlett's family are all crazy.. and apparently my butt looks really 'yummy' in a pair of pressed khaki slacks." He thought it over. "And anyone who thinks taking candy from a baby is easy, ain't never tried to pry their dog tags outa one of their grubby little hands." He thought about it again. "I think that about covers everything I learned. Except that I ain't cut out fer civilian life, no how. I'd rather ya drop me into a South American drug lord firefight, than into the middle of a game of Trivial Pursuit at the O'Hara residence. And that's no lie."

Hawk and Psyche-Out both stared at him with identical looks of complete consternation. After a minute of patient silence on the Ranger's part, Hawk pointed at the door. "Beach... you're dismissed."

"Thank you Sir!" Giving a polite nod to the psychologist, BeachHead did a quick exit. Once he was gone, Psyche-Out put his head into his hands.

Hawk shook a finger at him. "I told you.. I TOLD you he didn't belong out in the civilian world.. but would YOU listen? No... you had to go sending him out. Now do you see?"

Psyche-Out groaned. "I didn't think it would be that bad.. honestly.. you realize.. I could write a whole paper on how career soldiers become too detached from 'real' life to be able to cope with civilian life after they're let out.. but first, BeachHead would prove half the statistics of soldiers not being able to cope with life outside wrong.. and second.. no one would believe anyone could skew the curve so badly. I'd have to throw out all the data as corrupt."

"Next time, maybe you'll listen to the general in charge of this loony bin."

* * * *

Headed for his own office, Beach ran into Duke who did a double-take at the sight of him.

"BeachHead? Didn't know you guys were back." The Ranger stopped and stood at attention. "At ease.. geez. You didn't exactly relax much, did you?"

"I relaxed plenty, sir. Jus' headed to check on my work." Beach's unsubtle hint that he'd like to go was ignored, as Duke always ignored the heavy-handed hints Beach gave him.

Duke looked him over carefully, going as far as to walk around him in the hallway. "Well.. you look good.. if tired. Seem to have survived intact. How did it go?"

Beach's eyes narrowed slightly. "Went jus' fine, sir. Can I go to work now?"

Running one hand over the crewcut blond hair, Duke tilted his head. "Went fine? I'd like a bit more detail than that. So, how did the trip go for you? Did you relax? Did you enjoy it? Did Scarlett have to duct tape you to furniture to prevent escapes?"

The Ranger twitched in annoyance. "Yes, it went 'fine'. The trip went 'fine'. Yes, I relaxed. No, Scarlett did not duct tape me to anything. Now can I go to work?" He slid his eyes over to give a bored look of mild annoyance.

Duke wasn't impressed. "You didn't answer the 'did you enjoy it' question."

"No, I didn't."

"So.. did you enjoy the trip?"

"It was fine. I'm certain that I'm psychologically rested to the satisfaction of everyone, up to and including Psyche-Out and Doc. It was peachy-keen, Duke, we sang songs and held hands and rainbows shot right outa everyone's butts. Now... can I get back to work?" His annoyance flashed slightly more when Duke grinned at him.

His superior officer leaned in slightly, lowering his tone. "You aren't going to admit that you might have liked going on a vacation, are you?"

Beach leaned in to lower his voice himself. "Only if you order me at gunpoint.. and probably not even then. Scarlett's family are all friggin' insane and if ya think SHE is intimidatin', ya should meet her aunt. I got engaged to her cousin within a day.. involuntarily. I had to pick one of her brothers up by his throat and shake him once. She made me go clothes shoppin'. I really don't wanna talk about it. Okay?"

Duke looked highly startled. "You're engaged?"

"No." Beach's tone left no room for any disagreement on that point.

"Umm... okay.. you're still not on duty until tomorrow though." Duke made a last ditch effort at controlling the Sergeant major. "So you don't really belong down here in your office officially until then."

"Good.. then I'm only here unofficially." Beach's satisfaction showed clearly and Duke stared at him again. "What?"

"What what?"

"Yer starin' at me.. did Ah grow a second head while Ah was gone?" Now the irritation was plain to hear in the deepening accent.

Duke cleared his throat. "I'm not used to seeing you without the mask.. it's kind of odd."

Beach's hand went up to his head before he could stop it. "Yeah well.. couldn't go wearing it around civies.. makes 'em nervous. I ain't changed yet since I got back. You'll hafta look at my ugly mug fer a while, unless of course, ya let me get to my work.."

Duke sighed at him and started to open his mouth to argue further when there was the sound of running feet. Both of them turned to confront the runner and Private Williams came careening around the corner and slowed to stop in front of them. He beamed happily.

"Sergeant major! You're back!"

Beach gave him a confused look of annoyance and then turned on Duke. "This's what havin' a puppy is like... ain't it, sir?"

Duke burst out in laughter. "Pretty much.. but we don't have to put down newspaper for most of the greenshirts. They've been kept up in fighting trim while you were gone. There weren't too many parties while you were away anyway."

A loud snort. "Yeah.. I bet. Ya'll havin' a easy time of it comes to an end tomorrow mornin', Williams."

"Yes Sergeant major!" He was just as enthused even after being told he'd be miserable the next day. "Is there anything I can do for you, now that you're back?"

Beach's sigh of resignation made Duke grin. "Ya might as well tag along.. I'll find something to set you on, I'm sure." He turned to Duke. "If I can go.. now?"

"Fine.. dismissed.. good to have you back, Beach." Duke walked off, still seeming to be overly pleased with himself to the Ranger's sensibilities.

"Whatever." Once in his office, he found a short stack of forms and shuffled through them to sort out what was important and what was just junk for him to sign off on or check and file. A stack of files was handed off to Williams and the private spent some time filing them away and sorting them into the proper spaces.

An hour of paperwork later and BeachHead had had several Joes poke their heads into his office to check to see he was indeed back.. a few to give him greetings.. a few to drop off more paperwork. Sergeant Slaughter came by to bark at him about how the week had progressed. According to the drill instructor, everything had gone grandly. According to the stack of complaints and infirmary reports, things had gone as poorly as Beach would have expected. Normally he only sent recruits to work under Slaughter as a last ditch effort to get them broken to focus properly. The man didn't have much of a head for running a proper session of PT training.

"Should have left that idiot in BASIC training camp where he belongs." Beach's sour complaint made Williams look up.

The slender young man spoke quietly. "He's not very good with us, sergeant major."

"Yeah.. well. Suck it up. Yer all soft anyway." Beach didn't look at the young greenshirt. "We'll see how yer conditioning has slipped while I been gone and ya'll been being lazy."

"Yes sergeant major."

* * * *

By the time BeachHead got up from his desk, he had stiffened up and thus become rather grumpy about it all. Moving through the Pit, he loosened himself up again. Finally he turned on his greenshirt shadow.

"Alright.. enough. Get on with ya! Ya can pass on orders to the rest of the greenies. Two field packs each brought out to the PT courses tomorrow. They better be packed up properly too. I find one light pack and I'll add weight to the whole platoon's gear for a week." His scowl made Williams wince a little bit.

"Yes Sergeant major!" Enthusiasm still mostly intact, the young private scurried off quickly and BeachHead turned to continue his stalking through the base, checking on every corner and crevice to be certain all was in order.

He took a pass through the kitchen, sniffing at the dinner prep smells. It wasn't as good as how the kitchen at the O'Hara house smelled with Aunt Beth cooking, but it wasn't bad at all. Roadblock was overseeing the cooking and watched the Ranger come in with a bit of a jaundiced eye.

"BeachHead.. what are you doin' in here?" He stepped in front of the hot pans to block him from getting too close. "You just stay away from that.. dinner ain't being served yet. You got another two hours." He crossed his arms across the ample chest and stood glaring down at the stymied NCO.

BeachHead stepped backwards slightly. Stubborn he might be but he never angered the cook staff if he could otherwise help it. "Jus' wanted to know what we was havin'.. not like I'm down here stealin' food."

Roadblock gave a suspicious look to him. "Yeah.. I know you. You'd eat the shine off the countertop, bottomless pit that you are. Tonight we having some salisbury steak and mashed potatoes. But I want you out of my kitchen.. right now, before you get yourself into some trouble." He advanced on the Ranger, backing him across the kitchen.

"Hey hey.. ain't no trouble here! Look.. look.. I gotta recipe to share with you! Look!" BeachHead felt a little desperate to keep on Roadblock's good side. People that annoyed the chef often ended up with the worst food dredged out of the storage bins when they went through the chow line. He dug out the folded paper with the recipe written on it. "See? I was gonna ask you about it.. cause I'm supposed to try to make it before I give it to you.. "

"You? You cook a recipe? What is it? Ramen soup?" At least the huge gunner had stopped advancing.

BeachHead held it up. "Naw.. it's fer cinnymom bread.. Scarlett's brother said he'd give me the recipe.. but I gotta try to make it once myself before I'm supposed to let anyone else have the recipe to make it for me.."

"Bread? Family recipe for cinnamon bread?" Beach nodded and Roadblock got thoughtful. "Well.. I guess.. a deal is a deal. But I want to be in here to supervise.. because if you blow up one of my ovens again.. I swear.. even Lifeline won't be able to put the pieces of you back together. You getting me?"

"Yeah.. got it." Beach tucked the folded recipe back into a pocket.

"You back for PT starting tomorrow?" At the wary nod, the chef sighed. "Well.. the break was nice while it lasted." He suddenly gave the Ranger a look of interest. "So where were you? A week gone with Snakes and Scarlett?"

"Yeah.. vacation. I got mandatory leave forced on me." He smirked at Roadblock's sudden grin. "And the more teasin' I get about it.. the more PT I'll have to assign to shut people up. Savvy?"

Roadblock's face fell. "Savvy." He seemed so disappointed that Beach felt a bit better about backing down from him in the kitchen.

"Alright then.. later." He exited quickly before he did get into any trouble.

* * * *

Wandering through the Pit, he continued to check on nearly every section, poking his nose into offices, barracks, security stations.. even the computer lab and control rooms. He met up with Flint in the main control center.

"Finally back from R & R? How much duct tape did Scarlett end up using to keep you in line?" The warrant officer sneered at him a little.

"Not all that much.. but she sticks it in bad places..." BeachHead's easy answer seemed to startle Flint. "All clear in here? I wanna get my schedule for this week so I can plan around it."

"Yeah.. " Flint poked a couple buttons and ripped off a sheet as it printed. "Your schedule.. you got nights wedsday through friday." He waited for the griping and fussing over that and was disappointed at the lack of reaction.

"M'kay. Thanks." Beach turned to leave and then stopped. "You know if they messed with my obstacle course any?"

"No. You mean you haven't gone up to the PT courses to pee on everything already?" Flint gave a grin to show he was joking. "I figured that since you're roaming around sniffing at everything in here, you'd already have gone and re-marked all your territory up top too."

"Naw.. besides.. the clean-up crew hates it when I pee on stuff inside. And no one mistakes the PT course for anyone's property but mine. I'll go check it out.. might need to add a few new things to it soon." He hummed to himself slightly.

"You know Beach.." Breaker leaned back in his chair to look at the Ranger. "You seem awfully relaxed. I think your vacation was good for you.. maybe getting away from all us crazy people was just what you needed."

"Whatever. I didn't need no time off in the first danged place. Waste of danged time." He puffed out a breath. "Scarlett's got some danged good cooks in her family though. I don't think I ever ate so much danged food in my life."

Flint nodded in agreement. "Not like you got that growing up."

BeachHead turned on him, the hairs on the back of his neck rising along with his temper. "Why don't ya stop while yer ahead, Flint? Just a suggestion."

Flint smiled to himself and began to respond. When he looked up into the man's face to retort, he swallowed the smart remark unsaid. He'd never actually seen BeachHead's hair bristle up before.. no wonder he wore the balaclava most of the time. "Sorry.. didn't mean nothing by that. I'm glad you ate good for Thanksgiving."

Breaker flicked his gaze from one man to the other, gauging the risk in opening his mouth to soothe the annoyed sergeant major versus staying out of it and being at ground zero. "Soooo.. " BeachHead turned the annoyed eyes onto him and he smiled just enough to placate the nervous primate inside himself. "Was the Thanksgiving spread better than Roadblock's that he leaves here for us?"

To his great relief, Beach's annoyance dissipated. "Better.. by leaps and bounds. And they had pie.. all kinds a pie." Both Flint and Breaker were startled when a smile appeared. "I do like good pie..."

"Umm.. okay. So.. glad you had a good Thanksgiving dinner. Anything else you need? Shouldn't you be resting up? Back to work tomorrow?" Flint hoped all of that was safe to comment on.

"Back ta work tomorrow. Gonna run PT with full field packs. Hope ya both rested up while I was gone." BeachHead walked out of the room, singing softly under his breath as he sauntered along. "I wanna be an Airborne Ranger... I wanna live a life of danger.."

Breaker sighed and looked at Flint. "I don't know if this is a good thing... or a really really bad thing... perky BeachHead usually means agony for the rest of us come PT time."

Flint bent over his paperwork. "I'm not even going to think about it... I don't want nightmares tonight."

* * * *

After a really long, really hot shower, Beach felt a lot better although he was beginning to feel the effects of the long drive. He would bet that SnakeEyes and Scarlett both had gone to sleep as soon as they got back. If he did that, he wouldn't sleep well tonight and his schedule would get screwed up. It had nothing to do with people thinking he was worn out from the unwanted leave time. Nothing at all.

Cleaned up, he scruffed one hand over his damp hair and suddenly stepped back to the mirror. Finger-combing his hair repeatedly, he did his best to tame the unruly hair without a comb. "Well.. that's useless." Figuring it was the best he could manage, he tried not to care what it looked like. "Stupid.. dang women makin' out like it matters."

He wandered upwards, happening to end up in the upper motorpool. Poking his head into the roomy armored vehicle bay, he listened and heard Clutch's gruff voice arguing with someone. Easing into the area quietly, he peered around the corner and saw him hanging into the engine of one of the deuce-and-half trucks, reaching out to Steeler who stood next to it.

"Just give me the stupid wrench and save the commentary." Steeler slapped the tool into his hand and leaned over the front grill to peer into the engine while Clutch rattled and banged around on something while cursing.

Beach slipped through the bay without alerting either of the men to his presence. Moving to the lift bay, he found CoverGirl just lowering one of the AWEStrikers to the deck. "Hey.."

She lept up and jerked, hitting the release for the lift and sending the vehicle crashing down to the floor hard enough that it bounced on it's tires. "GEEZ!! Beach! You big jerk!" Turning to check the sand-rail, she sighed and powered the the lift down completely. "You gotta stop sneaking up on people that way.. bad enough that the ninjas do it. But a big old Ranger doing it is just downright disturbing!" She finally turned to him with a big smile.

The annoyance which had begun to build in him as she berated him for coming to see her evaporated suddenly when the smile turned on him. "Uhh... I.. I jus'..."

"Oh it's okay! You just startled me!" He watched her wiping her greasy hands off on a shoprag. "I thought you'd be back today. Did you have a good trip?"

"Yeah.. uhhh.. " Beach shifted his weight to his other foot and tried to think of something to say to that. "It went okay.. I mean.. good. Yeah.. went good. Not that I wanted to go, but since I had to.. it went good."

CoverGirl seemed amused. "That's.... good. I kind of missed you while you were gone. It was pretty quiet here. I flew out wedsday night, flew back in friday. So really short and my Thanksgiving was typically hectic, bunch of strangers that my mother just HAD to have in for the holiday. I just don't really care for formal dining with strangers that much. I should have stuck around here at the Pit. I missed the mother of all food fights from what I hear." She began putting away her tools and BeachHead reached to help her out.

"Food fight? Yeah.. just what the Pit needs.. more mashed potatoes stuck to the ceiling tiles." Tools put away, he stepped back again and watched her shutting the toolbins up.

"Yeah well.. got to stay busy. You look really tired, Beach. Rough drive?"

"Yeah.. we drove straight through. Jus' Scarlett and me did the drivin' on accounta we figured Snakes would get sent out quick on a mission."

She shook her head at him. "From Georgia?? Are you nuts? That's.. what? Twenty hours? Twenty-five?"

"Yup, somethin' like that." He glanced at her and then away. "It was a lotta driving. I'm glad to be back though."

"Well.. I'm glad you're back. But I'd expect you to have hit the bed as soon as you got in." He shrugged at her. "Whatever.. big tough Ranger man, don't need any sleep."

"Oh.. I need some time in bed, that's fer sure." His gaze slid over to her and saw a suspiciously wary look cross her face. "Oh.. OH! To sleep.. in the bed.. sleeping.. alone. Ya know.. to get some sleep.. yeah." He felt his face heat up as she laughed softly at him. "Anyway.. I.. uhh.. I was gonna go get some dinner."

She nodded, still smiling with amusement at his expense. "You're too funny sometimes. Yeah, I think you need some food and some sleep."

"Well.. " He stepped about a foot closer to her, then shifted slightly away again. "I was.. umm." A deep breath in and back out. "I was wondering if you was ready to eat. Roadblock's making salisbury steak.. smelled good."

Her headed tilted just a little bit to the side. "Salisbury steak, huh?" At his nod, she nodded slowly. "I do like salisbury steak, especially when Roadblock makes it. I think that's a good idea. Sure.. I'd like to go eat dinner."

He almost smiled, then blinked. "Great! That's great.. really.. ummm. Now?"

"Yes.. I think I'd like to go eat now."

The smile broke free and he stepped back, letting her go past him to shut down the lights in the bay. They walked together through the garage area. When they stood on the hydraulic personnel lift to go down into the Pit itself, he shifted to stand next to her. She looked over at him and watched him get a worried look. Before she could ask what was wrong, he turned to her.

"When yer eatin' dinner... would.. would you sit with me? To eat dinner? If that's okay?" His sincere expression made her smile.

"Sure. I'd like to sit with you to have dinner." His pleased expression almost made her laugh.

As they moved through the sparse crowd in the messhall, he stuck close by her, rather like he worried that she'd change her mind. When they settled at the table, she smiled at him. "Hey Beach.. could you grab some silverware? I forgot a fork." He immediately got up to go get it for her.

Returning, he settled into his chair. "Yer not normally so forgetful, CoverGirl. You must be tired too."

She sighed. "Yeah.. I've been pretty busy, rebuilding the treads on that third Mauler. I had to work on the tranny in that AWEStriker today.. took most of the day." While she spoke casually, she dipped a pat of butter out to put on the heap of potatoes. "Man.. this does smell good."

BeachHead glanced at her, nodding at her chatter. "What'd ya do to the transmission?" He stirred his glass of iced tea, adding sugar to it and frowning slightly as his chair was jostled from behind as Dusty and Ace came by talking loudly about a betting pool regarding Shipwreck and the latest SHARC training exercise coming up soon. "Watch it!" Dusty apologized absently without really looking at him. "Didja hafta rebuild it?"

She stirred at the potatoes a little. "No no.. that would take a lot longer than a day. I just flushed it good and bled the hydraulic lines while I had it up on the rack. How's the steak?"

He nodded, already chewing. Swallowing hastily, he coughed slightly. "It's good, as always." She smiled as he picked up his glass of tea. "Ya know.. I missed ya while I was gone, kinda used ta seeing ya around 'most every day."

"Aww.. Beach.. that's almost sweet of you." She sighed and propped her chin in one hand. "I really do miss you when you're not around. Honest I do."

He ducked his head slightly and took a gulp of his iced tea. Suddenly he choked and spat the whole mouthful across the table, gagging. "What the... " He spat again and spotted the empty salt container sitting on the table and turned a glare on the laughing tank jockey. "CoverGirl!! Not AGAIN!!! DANG IT WOMAN!!"

* * * *

Finis

And... that's the end. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. As always feel free to review, or message me with thoughts on the fic, or suggestions or comments. I do not promise to use any suggestion, but many of my plot bunnies are inspired by random conversations with fans of GI Joe.

Thank you so much for reading! Special thanks to Karama9, CrystalofEllinon, Comix28, and Strapakai(who keeps peeping into my head to see what I'm writing!) for the great reviews and conversations about where I wanted the story to go, and how I could best get there!


	29. Chapter 29: epilogue

Epilogue

Yes, I know.. finished.. but I forgot to put the epilogue in, so here it is! I'm so glad everyone liked the story, and hope to post something else soon!

* * * *

Approximately one week later:

BeachHead settled deeper into the armchair in the rec room of the Pit's lower levels. Even though it had been rare for the Sergeant major to appear in the rec room other than looking for someone to gripe at them, in the last week, he'd cautiously slunk into the room to find himself a corner at least twice. Although everyone was curious, most of the Joes left him to himself.

The first two evenings, he'd brought in a technical manual and read through it, marking passages he needed for a report later on. LadyJaye had approached the second night to ask what he was reading. After he told her in the least amount of words possible, she had hummed at him slightly and gone back to the catalogs on the coffeetable that she and Scarlett were rummaging through. CoverGirl came in to join them and other than a quick interested glance at the Ranger in his corner, she hadn't bothered to approach him at all.

Now the third time, BeachHead had brought his ball of yarn and knitting needles in, thinking that he might be able to relax for a while knitting before he hit the bed. He was unaware that his repeated appearances after-hours was driving everyone mad with curiosity. Tonight his corner was empty again and he took the beat up armchair that had been shoved into an awkward part of the room, and thus was rarely ever occupied by anyone wanting anything more social than a spot to read by themselves. Perfect for him but shunned by most of the Joes who came to the rec room to socialize.

Once he had the knitting laid out over his lap, the ball of yarn tucked in a corner by his leg, Beach settled in to casting on more stitches, carefully keeping track of the count. He already had over a foot of scarf done and was rather proud of how neat and even it was looking.

"What are you DOING?" Shipwreck bent over the arm of his chair, staring at the project. He reached to grab at the strand of yarn. "Beach is crocheting!! Har har!"

Smacking his hand aside, BeachHead snapped at him. "Knittin'.. not crochetin' ya ignoramous. What's wrong with knittin' anyway?" LadyJaye was already headed over, a bright curious look on her face as she came to look as well. "Heck. Sailors used to all knit on board ships. Ain't no big thing." He slid down in the chair a bit more.

Shipwreck grinned larger. "Yeah maybe... but purple yarn? Watcha knitting? A purple balaclava? Trying to get in touch with your feminine side Beach?" He caught an elbow in the ribs from LadyJaye.

She pushed him aside to look at the knitting herself. "Shut up 'Wreck. I think it's cool. I want to learn how to do it too. Just because your big clumsy hands can't manage knitting needles, no reason to start dissing it."

Shipwreck rubbed at his ribs. "Alright alright! I could knit if I wanted to. I just ain't got any pressing need to make a binkie."

The Ranger scowled at him, making him back up out of range. "It's not a 'binkie', it's a scarf. It's my first project so that's what I'm makin'. Why don't ya drop it a'fore I gotta get up outa this chair? Cause I'm tellin' ya right now.. if'n I gotta get up, I'll kick yer butt once fer making fun a me about knittin' and once fer makin' me get up."

Shipwreck held up his hands. "Sorry.. geez.. don't get all bent out of shape over it. You want to knit, you can knit all you want to."

LadyJaye snorted at him. "Yeah.. you couldn't knit with a instruction booklet and a tutor. You should be a knitter, don't sailors have to deal with nets? Isn't a net the same thing? So shut up!"

Dusty raised his head up in interest. "My gramma used to knit sweaters.. right out of a ball of yarn. It was the coolest thing I ever saw as a kid. It's like things just grow out of yarn right there in your hands."

BeachHead scoffed at them. "Geez.. it's just knitting. It's structured tangling of string on sticks. Ya'll act like it's rocket science."

Mainframe's voice piped up from the rickety cardtable in the corner where he was playing dominoes with Dusty. "Rocket science is easy... knitting is hard."

Draped across the arm of the couch watching an old movie, Scarlett twisted to put in her own commentary. "SnakeEyes says knitting is really hard to keep straight."

The Ranger lifted his face and paused in the stitches. "You heard from him yet?" The commando had been sent out the morning after they'd returned, just as they predicted. She shook her head but didn't seem disturbed by it so he returned his attention to the yarn, working it from one needle to the other methodically.

"Mail call..." The cart and the magic words of 'mail call' served to snatch the interest of everyone. There was good natured jostling as the letters and packages were handed out. BeachHead, as always, never bothered to get up. He and SnakeEyes were nearly the only Joes who consistently never got mail. He knew now that Scarlett's family included him in her packages, but he still never received items himself, any more than Beach did. He continued with his knitting, finishing a row and swapping the needles again to begin the next row.

"BeachHead?" He tilted his head to listen without looking. "Sergeant major BeachHead?"

"Yeah?" He glanced to see who was talking to him. The mailroom attendant held out a envelope. "Me?"

"Yes Sergeant major.. "

Beach looked at the outstretched white envelope for a few seconds before he reached out to take it hesitantly. "Thanks." He peered at the thin paper.

Scarlett walked past and paused to lean over smiling at him. "It's a 'letter' Beach. If you open the outer paper shell.. it'll have writing on the inside bits that you can read."

His gaze narrowed. "Yer chappin' my ass, Scarlett... see how many laps ya get to run tomorrow mornin'." He looked at the envelope again and then finally tucked it away without opening it.

* * * *

Late in the evening, BeachHead strode quickly down the hallways to his office. He'd tucked his knitting project away.. after CoverGirl had come to admire both his previously unknown ability to knit and also the soft woolen yarn he was using. He mused over the idea that when he finished the scarf he could give it to her. He wasn't certain if it was a good idea though, what if she thought it was stupid.. or that it meant something more than that he thought she'd like a purple scarf?

Seating himself at his desk, he pulled out the heap of papers sitting in his 'INBOX' and sorted them out quickly. He was on night shift in an hour and had a bit of time to finish up paperwork and such first. Once he had the important forms in front of him, he filled them out quickly with a neat hand.

Setting them aside, he pulled out the unopened letter and turned it over in his hands a few times, just looking at it. Setting it on the desk, he thought back to when he used to get letters from his sister. The anticipation of it, wondering what she'd written to him about.. good news, bad news, silly stuff that didn't make any sense to him... It didn't really matter what she had written him, he just always felt like she cared enough to sit down and write a letter just for him.

Looking at this new unopened letter, he wondered what was in it. It wasn't that he didn't want to read it.. more like thinking about how good a piece of pie was going to taste, before you actually tucked in and ate it.

Finally he slid letter opener out and slit the envelope open. A puff of breath into it and he tipped a folded letter out. Aunt Beth's neat cursive writing covered the page and he glanced over it before settling in to read.

_Dear Wayne,_

_I hope your drive back to base went well and that you didn't try to drive all the way back in one run. I know you were anxious to get back though, so I'll be betting that you did indeed rush the trip by driving all the way without stopping. Where you get your energy from, I'll never understand!_

_I enjoyed your visit so much and I hope that you will reconsider about christmas. Won't your friend Granite(I think that was his name?) take your shift? I know the kids would love to see you again. Kevin asked if 'his Army friend' went back home and if you went off to war. His dad watches a lot of war movies and I think he's afraid you go and do things like running into battles with guns and it worries him._

_Have you talked to that lady friend of yours? If you haven't then you should right away! Jack and Seth both said they want to see a picture of her, because apparently they think she must be very pretty._

_My hens have finally started to lay properly. I went out and gave them a talking to about not laying. I can make chicken and dumplings with any that don't want to lay eggs, after all! The two nannies are about to kid any day now. Hopefully they'll both have twin girls, that would be perfect! The whole silly flock of ducks got out of their pen somehow and I spent most of a day rounding them up from the neighbor's pond. The hole in the fencing is fixed now, which is good, because I don't think I'd like rounding them up again! That's too much work._

_I found more of the purple yarn that I gave you so if you run out, I can send it so you can finish the scarf. You still are knitting, right? I haven't found the blue yarn for SnakeEyes' sweater but it's here somewhere. I'll have to trip over it before I find it, I guess._

_Nancy just called and when she heard I was writing to you, she said to tell you that she hasn't forgotten your box of cookies, but her oven decided to stop working. She's trying to get a new fancy one with all sort of gadgets and geegaws. Bobby is trying to convince her that a regular oven is good enough. Once he gives in and gets her the fancy one, she'll bake up your cookies, no fear._

_June called(well, her mother called and let June talk to me, of course)and she was chatting about school and how she told her teacher about 'Uncle BeachHead' and how you ran for ten miles every morning. She won a fitness award and got a ribbon for it and she's very proud of herself and said she was going to write you a letter to tell you all about it._

_Well I hope that you are doing okay out there and staying busy. Are your recruits all behaving and doing well? I know you are a good trainer and will teach them all they need to know. _

_I'm thinking about you and hoping you are well,_

_Aunt Beth_

BeachHead sighed and reread the letter again, just to savor the fact that he got a letter. Aunt Beth certainly had a lot of things to say. He looked it over and then checked the time. He supposed he should write a reply to her. It was polite and if he didn't write her a letter back then she might think he didn't get the letter she sent him.

Pulling out one of his writing pads, he ripped the top two sheets off, finding a clear unused sheet finally. Tapping a pen on the paper a few times, he thought about it. Finally he nudged the letter over to look at it as he wrote.

_Dear Aunt Beth,_

_Got home fine. All is well here. Thanks for the letter._

_Wayne_

He gazed at the short note and twisted his lip a bit thinking it over. Finally he wadded it up and tossed it into the trash and got a fresh sheet of paper.

_Dear Aunt Beth,_

_I got your letter. The drive back went fine. I think you meant Flint instead of 'granite', although he is a bit of a rock-head. He isn't kindly disposed towards me at the best of times. But even so, he is going off base so I have to stay here and run things. Otherwise, there could be a repeat of the prank war that happened three years ago, no one wants that, trust me. Cleaning four hundred pounds of peanut butter out of a hummer is no fun._

_Tell Kevin I'm fine. I can't say a whole lot more than that. I had dinner with my 'lady friend' in the messhall but she put salt in the sugar again for my tea so I don't know if she's mad at me or not. Women are confusing.. no offense to you. Do you think I should give her the scarf when it's done? I don't know if that's a good idea or not._

_If those chickens don't lay eggs then I'd eat them too. I think you should just eat the ducks too. Can you make ducks and dumplings? I don't understand why you have babysitters? And two of them? But they are pregnant? Don't nannys take care of kids? I still have a lot of yarn, the ball is still almost as big as my fist. Some of my teammates tried to tease me about knitting but I set them straight pretty quick. There wasn't much bloodshed but our medic yelled at me anyway. It wasn't like I tried to aim the guy at the coffeetable after all._

_I agree with Bobby, a plain old oven should be just fine. No need to fancy up something that you just need to bake cookies in. I'm not surprised that June won an award, she's one tough little girl. She could show up some of these whiny recruits I have this time. They start whining and falling out if I push them past ten miles in full gear. I'll whip them into shape quick though. _

_Well, I'm about to go on duty so I hope this letter is long enough. I don't think I've ever written so much that wasn't explaining about a lost armored vehicle in a official report. Thanks a lot for writing to me. I really enjoyed getting your letter._

_Wayne._

He folded the letter up and tucked it into a envelope. Tossing it into his outbox he put away the paper and pen. Opening up the top drawer, he placed the letter inside carefully to re-read it again later on. Reaching in, he pulled out the little battered up army man toy and looked it over. It was just as battered as when Kevin had given it to him, declaring it to be 'just like you!' because of the scarring. Settling it onto the corner of his desk next to the phone, he looked at it for a while. "Keep 'em all safe.. bring 'em all home."

Suddenly he shook his head and stood up. "Time fer work." Pulling out his balaclava, he tugged it on over his face, obscuring his features. His earpiece was clicked on and he tapped an open comm line just at the clock ticked over on the hour.

"Sergeant major BeachHead on duty.. gimme a sit-rep report." Striding down the hallways, he headed off to take over the shift command. The time for letters and kindly people and leave was past... the time for work and duty was now.

_* * * *_

_Final end:_

Thank you all so much for reading, thank you to the reviewers who have helped me so much! Any comments or questions, feel free to review or message me!


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